


Love and death in the viewfinder - Soulmates

by lilyy



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Angst, Consensual Sex, Science Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Sexual Content, Slash, Soulmates, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-05-27 11:37:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 73
Words: 84,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6283042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyy/pseuds/lilyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared is a good guy nice e sweet that the people wants to kill for some reason.</p><p>Jensen will know protect it from people who want to hurt him?</p><p> Jensen loves him but also loves Sam. He loves both so much.</p><p>"You found me!" He said moved.<br/>"I'll find you always. Wherever you go, I will find you always. "He told Jared moved in turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Hello to all. my name is Jared Padalecki ... .but do not tell it all around._

_Do not tell anyone who you think is unreliable, at least._

_I am 26 years old. Do not say that either._

_There are maniacs, multiple murderers, murderers, rapists, just waiting to know my name, age, identity card ... everything._

_You have to be careful who you trust these days._

_Anyone can stab behind._

_You can not trust anyone. Nobody._

_That if you do not want to end up killed._

_At least that's what he tells me the police, for several years ...._  
  
_My name is Jared Padalecki, I'm 26, and they want to kill me_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jared finds himself on a lifeboat without knowing how it ended  
> Find a blond boy semiconscious in water and pulls out
> 
> Jared does not remember anything

Jared had a strong circle to the head.

He did not know where it came from, or where he came from he himself, knew only that buzzed in an absurd way.

And He did not know. He only knew that he felt very cold.

He managed to open his eyes and found himself sitting on a lifeboat, to attend a sinking ship, and thousands of people who came down with the boats.

It was night, and he was afraid. He could not remember what he was doing there, or what had happened.

He did not remember anything!

How the hell had ended on that raft?

There was an oar in, and used it, trying not to tremble too.

People were in a panic, but the situation did not seem tragic, at least for that very little that could see ....

And boy ... he did not see almost nothing. It was night.  
   
He continued to row, until he slammed almost on a body.

  
He took a shot. He touched him, hesitantly.

Live. He was alive.

The boy had to be young. Groaned when Jared he touched him.

"Schhh, stà quiet, peaceful stà. Do not be afraid. "He told him, grabbing him by the hips, and dragging it on to the lifeboat.

"No ... I will make you sink ..."

"Do not be silly ... stà shut up ..." Jared whispered, with difficulty, between the teeth.

He was cold, shivering, and felt your eyes burn with tears ... for fear and the cold ... and starvation.

Although his hands were shaking, still he managed to load with it the unknown, in the boat with him.

 

The stranger was a blond boy, a little older than him, and had eyes of emerald green, but watch them too spun Jared even more heads.

He was ill. Badly. The head would not stop buzzed.

  
"You all right down there ??" someone shouted.

They came for help. Good!

"Here, we are ... we are here ...!" Jared coughed and closed his eyes. He felt tears and thought of sinking almost into unconsciousness. He saw black for a moment.

Then you hear two arms wrap.

"Stay calm, breathe, plan ... so ... are coming ..." he whispered the stranger, and Jared was able to keep from not faint.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a story that I cherish. It is long, but trust me, it's beautiful. I hope you will love <33


	3. Fear!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have patience for the mistakes ... I am writer Italian and try to do everything possible

Jensen felt yourself terrible. It hurt his neck, where he felt a dark liquid and sticky.

He felt distinctly that they are not more in the boat. It felt much more space around him.

And two soft arms that rocked.

Open your eyes and saw a familiar face.

"Hey, you had me worried .." the he said.  
   
Despite the sweet tone of the boy, Jensen's eyes widened at the sight, and turned pale.

"No! No! No! Stay away from me! Stay away!"

Jared also paled to those cries. That guy looked so peaceful when he had to deal with him on the boat. Because now he had that reaction?

"Stay away from me!" He shouted again and Jared walked away, stepping back, shocked, and maybe even a little 'hurt by what he interpreted as a strange and inexplicable refusal.

Soon came other men on the boat and asked Jared if he could please move away, because apparently unnerved the boy.

"No, you do not understand ... I can help ..." Jared protested, their rescuers.  
   
   
They would not listen to reason, however, and made him go away.

But Jared was going to come back ... .it was a doctor and could be of help, had also established as a sort of bond with the strange boy in the boat ... and now he did so. He wanted to see things clearly and was not going to let him get away too soon. Especially because maybe he could help him understand what had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few points to clarify: I know it may seem strange that is jensen that to be passed out, while in the previous chapter looked like she was about to faint jared, but rest assured I have not mixed the names ahhah


	4. Without memories

Jensen woke up again.

Awoke and saw that crouched beside him fumbling with something, there was a boy.

I watch.

The guy just saw that you open your eyes, seemed to grow back a bit 'intimidated.

"... They are tanned so bad?" Jensen asked.

"No, not at all ..." said the boy, a bit 'quieter.

"Then why are you looking at me like that? Like i was about to die? "

"I look at you ... as one who has had an attack of nerves against myself" Jared chuckled, embarrassed.

"Sorry? Which nervous breakdown? "

"Wait a minute ... .remember who am I?" Jared asked a bit 'puzzled.

"Yyyyes ... the guy who picked me up from the waters of Neptune, from which I was hurriedly drowning .."

"You, you do not remember anything else?"

"Maybe I fainted?"

"And then?"

"Damn it, after is now, or ... or not?" Jensen asked, puzzled.

Jared sighed. "No, man..dopo you woke up, you found me here ... near you, as now, and you began to cry out that I had to stay away ..."

"It's not true…."

"I assure you that is so ... you scared me ..."

"You have not tried to kiss me ... or something like that, right?" Jensen laughed.

Jared glared. "Okay, sorry ... bad time for jokes ... but I do not remember this incident ... I had to be very bad for having reacted so ... will have been the shock, I suppose ..."

Jared did not answer. He watch him. He seemed sincere.

"Sorry, really ..." said Jensen, softening the tone and smiling at him.

"You're ... very playful for someone who has just nearly drowned and had a nervous breakdown." He smiled Jared.

"Yeah ... about it ... who put me this strap on your chest?"

"I made it myself ... I'm a doctor"

"You???"

"Yeah ... sorry if ... I had levarti the shirt ... you had a cut and I had to ...."

"Woah, just that you did not even raised my jeans" Jensen chuckled.

Jared looked at him surprised and blushed.

"I was kidding, Sammy. Ufff as you are boring ... "

"What did you call me?"

"Never mind ... my old fixed ... long story ... have not told me your name," said Jensen.

"I'm Jared ..."

"Jensen .."

They shook hands.

"Do not you think that we are talking a bit 'too quietly to be two who were aboard a ship that sank?" Jared asked.

Jensen missed a moment to think.

"Did I say something wrong?" Jared asked.

"Holy God, I ... I do not remember ..."

"You do not remember when it sank the ship?" Jared asked.

"Ninth! I do not remember ... nothing! "Said Jensen, his eyes wide.

"Jensen ..."

"I do not remember being boarded this ship, I do not remember because i am rose or where I was going, and I do not remember what I did before the climb, I do not remember where I was before ... I do not remember where I live and who they are" scared realized.

"Okay, Jensen, calm down now ... let's start with what you remember! Concentrate! "

"My nome..è all I remember ..."

"And the last thing you remember?"

"You ... you get me out of the water, you tell me that everything will be fine ... do not be afraid ..."

"And you say it again ... you've got amnesia ... it happens when you're in shock ..." Jared said.

"To you it did not happen ..." said Jensen.  
 

Jared turned around, sitting on the ground, on the boat, putting his hands on his head.

"Did I say something wrong? Jared? "

"I do not remember anything of my survey on the ship, Jensen. I remember who I am, remember to be gone up, but then ... the empty! It was as if I fell asleep and woke up like that damned lifeboat ... without ... without knowing how we're finished! "

"Holy God, Jared ...."


	5. A nightmare ... or maybe a dream ..

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jensen dreams ... Sammy!

"So ... we are in Venice!" Said Jensen, just landed at the port.

  
"Yeah ..." Jared said. "... This is where I had to get ... and apparently I risked not to see it ..." said Jared, a bit 'sad.  
"Woah, it's your first time in Venice?" Jensen asked, trying to distract him.

  
"Yes."  
"Even my" Jensen said, beaming.

  
"Well..uhm ... both on that ship, both without memory and both in Venice for the first time ... if I find another point in common, I ask you to marry me." Jared joked.  
"There's also: both in Venice, together," Jensen said, mischievous.

  
Jared almost blushed and said, "Okay, for this time, step."

And Jensen laughed.

  
They sat on benches San Marco square a little 'and then Jensen broke the silence.  
"Well, then ... bye, Jared, and good luck!" He said, clearing his throat.

  
"Hey, where are you going?" Asked the other.  
"In a motel, I guess ... I'm tired," said Jensen.

  
"Without memory, and in this state? No way, come to my house! "  
Jensen looked at him strangely. "You have a house here in Venice?"

  
"Of course. I would not have got here without the security of a place to settle down. "He said.  
"You're more responsible than me, I guess ..." he said.

  
"It's not for sure. Perhaps you also have a house here, tomorrow we will try together. "

  
"And how? Do not even know if I was come I also here., .. Maybe I should go somewhere else "Jensen laughed.

  
"All the more reason I can not let you go away on its own, in this state. Bewildered as you are, you might fall back into the water and being eaten by the monster of Loch Ness. "Jared said.  
Jensen laughed and welcomed the proposal to Jared.

 

 

 

 

*

  
At house of Jared, Jensen watched touched the vision of that boy who settled on the couch as best he could for his host, even putting on a blanket.

  
"If you were to pick you thirsty and wanted a beer, the alcohol service is in the window in the living room, right there ..." he said, pointing to the wardrobe front. "But if you prefer something non-alcoholic, you have to do is open the refrigerator in the kitchen."

  
"Jared ... why are you doing this? Why you are welcoming home a total stranger? I do not remember who I am, you do not know anything about me and I can not give you certainty that I am a good person, why not even remember who I am ... I repeat: why are you doing it? "

  
"This is my old pajamas ... would fit you the same, even though we have a different muscle ... tell me anyway, if you like tight." Said Jared.  
"Jared, I'm serious."

  
"Listen, buddy ... maybe I just want to help my equal, who, just like me, found himself in the same damn situation and do not know how it is over, okay? We met, Medicated I'll cut that, and now I want to be sure that you are well before you leave. "

  
"But you too need help ..." objected Jensen hit.

  
" Do not help people because they also help us ... to help you and that's it. Sleep now. "Jared said, smiling at him and going away.

 

 

 

 

*

  
Jensen was a child again, and playing alone in his bedroom, with lego.  
"Do you have just one?" He asked a woman in the other room.

  
"Yes, for heaven's sake ... one is more than enough," said the other woman.  
Jensen did not want to listen. Those people were not saying anything. He was not alone. Never.

  
"Do not worry, Jens ... do not listen to them. You are not alone. I will never leave you. Said the voice of a child, by his side.  
Jensen smiled and turned to the boy at his side. He smiled.

  
"I know, **Sammy** , but now continues to move those pieces. The castle is not built alone. "

 

 

 

 

*

The dream ends and Jensen found himself wandering in the kitchen, alone. He not even lit the light, and then stumbled, bumping into some furniture, doing a little 'noise.

"Dude, what's up?" Asked Jared, light the damn light.

"Forgive me, I did not you wake you up ... is that I could not sleep," he justified Jensen.

"And you hoped to get back into the world of dreams, undergoing a blow to the head? Well, did you go very close, friend ... but why the hell you have not turned on the light? "

"Sorry ... I did not think. A nightmare."

"You seem a bit 'confused, and say * excuse * a bit' too often. Are you OK?"

"I'm not sure." He said sincere.

"Do you want to ... come and sleep there with me?"

Jensen looked at him quizzically.

"I do not think you should be alone tonight. Quiet, is not a sexual proposition "Jared said smiling.

Jensen smiled, infinitely grateful.  
   
   
Jared entered the room, with one double bed.

"Yes, um ... there's only one bed, but ..." Jared began.

"Quiet, J ... there is no problem ... I have already shared a bed with my friends."

"So now we're friends?" Jared smiled.

"Um ..." Jensen smiled without answering.

 

 

Jensen fell asleep pretty quickly in the bed of Jared. At first they both were worried about not touching or brushing against the bed, but then do not know why, they found close, and Jensen's head very close to Jared's chest.

Even Jared's arm to surround the purposes of Jensen's neck.

Both had sought shelter with each other, while you sleep, without even realizing it.

 

 


	6. Illness

Jared awoke, with the weight of Jensen on himself. He was virtually embraced him, and he had never felt better.

He smiled, but was anxious to get out of bed right away, before Jensen was awake and you take leave from a panic attack, thinking who knows what.

His back and his whole body cried when they broke away from Jensen, or at least he thought they were doing, in his delirium.

He got up to go to the kitchen. He felt so at peace with himself, for the first time in a long time ... and this despite the tragedy last night and the recent amnesia.

That guy had to be a real medicine for him, probably having him around made him feel good.

But not had time to complete that thought, I feel a strong electric shock to the head, and fell with a crash.

  
 

 

Jared awoke, with the weight of Jensen on himself. He was virtually embraced him, and he had never felt better.

He smiled, but was anxious to get out of bed right away, before Jensen was awake and you take leave from a panic attack, thinking who knows what.

His back and his whole body cried when they broke away from Jensen, or at least he thought they were doing, in his delirium.

He got up to go to the kitchen. He felt so at peace with himself, for the first time in a long time ... and this despite the tragedy last night and the recent amnesia.

That guy had to be a real medicine for him, probably having him around made him feel good.

But not had time to complete that thought, he feel a strong electric shock to the head, and fell with a crash.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen woke up almost regretting that Jared had already awakened.Had not dreamed sammy the remaining time she had slept in that bed with Jared..forse was a coincidence, or maybe it was all about his.

He got up, going to try really him, feeling a strange crescergli uneasiness in his chest, without explaining why.

As soon as he entered the kitchen and saw Jared he sprawled on the floor, took a shot.

"JARED!" He shouted.  
   
   
   
   
*

Jared was brought to the hospital running by Jensen, and see him go, on a stretcher, with the respirator attached, shocked and worried so Jensen, that the tears ran down her face.

He was attach of that boy ... he could not finish it so.  
   
   
   
*

Jensen was ten years old and was in the courtyard of his elementary school, where kids of various ages and different classes, even the smallest, found themselves.

Jensen did not play with them. He had hurt his knee falling, and could not walk, or maybe did not want.

Here, however, he saw Sammy. Sammy went to meet him.

"Will not you come and play?" He asked.

"I can not walk, Sammy." The Jensen said, rolling her eyes.

Sammy muttered a "shame" and ran.

He ran and fell. And he began to cry.

"Sammy. Sammy. It's nothing, quiet. "Said Jensen, feeling Sammy hugged him tight.

"I thought you hurt your knee?" He whined.

"And you have fallen." It was Jared's response.

"You're going, even if his leg was hurt ... for me ..."

"Of course, baby."

"Thank you, brother." He said Sammy, and then he left.

Jensen watched him go.  
   
The teacher went close to Jensen.

"Jensen, you should not walk if the leg hurts."

"I'm sorry, teacher ... but Sammy fell and I had to help him ..." he said.

"Ah ...." She said the teacher.

Jensen went off, and the teacher watched him go, shaking her head.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen woke up from that dream, and he could not believe he had fallen asleep again.

Now that Sammy had disappeared again, she could only think of Jared. The idea of possibly losing him was worse than he had swallowed poison and begin to feel the spasms of death.  
   
   
   
Fortunately, the situation was not serious for Jared. It quickly enough shooting and incredibly Jensen was allowed to see him.

"I am ... still alive?" Jared asked.

"If you do such stupid questions, yes." Jensen said, looking at him moved.

And then she hugged him. Jared was surprised by the gesture, but returned softened.

 

  
But they could not return home anytime soon ... not spent many hours after waking Jensen, that the police inspector wanted to see him at once, and much to the chagrin of Jensen, wanted to talk to him alone; so, Jared gave his keys to the house at Jensen, which made popping eyes inspector, but Jensen was not going to go away, and said he would wait for him outside the police station.  
   
   
*

"Boy, you made me take a shot." He hugged the inspector.

"Old ..." Jared said.

"I told you a thousand times not to call me old ... have a little 'out of respect for my title, or I'll slam into jail, what the heck!" Said the inspector moved.

"John, do not cry ...."

"My poor heart can not hold a candle to these emotions ..."

"Now do not overdo it ... it was not so a disaster ... it was a minor flaw, and did not hurt anyone ..." Jared said about the ship.

"You're stupid! Fool! Before you make me almost take a shot with this news of the ship, and send me a text message just to reassure myself that you're alive and you're fine, you have no idea of the horror that I have taken? And now this! And speaking of the ship, I would not take it as something so innocent as you think! "

"Come on, John ... now it's good that they are a special surveillance but we try not to see threats where none exist, okay?"

"They wanted to kill you, Jared, and you say me that you do not remember anything about what happened to you, and today you end up in the hospital ... I should not worry, do you?"

"OK but…"

"Nothing *but * but now we just pray to God that you have nothing broken in the head and we must also try to understand if it has something to do with amnesia."

"For sure it has something to do with amnesia ... listen, I'm sorry to go away as well, but I do not want to Jensen wait me Jensen, so ..."

"By the way, who is this Jensen? I do not seem to know ... "

"It was on my own ship ... we made friends, but ..."

John turned pale.

"Look, I know you told me that in my situation I can not have friends, but ..."

"Holy God, Jared ... are years that we are trying to protect you, I am protecting you, and you want to blow it to hell? Who the fuck is this guy now '? "

Jared took an exasperated sigh. "John, I appreciate everything you've ever done for me ... and you know it, you're like a father to me, but I ... I need to have friends ..." he said, putting a hand on his shoulder, and then he left.  
 

When Jared left the police station, Jensen saw right away from the posture that he was upset, and put an arm around his neck.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked.

"Yes, let's go ..." said Jared, who was drying his tears.


	7. A new weapon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mystery deepens. Has anyone caused the amnesia of Jared, but Jensen does not remember anything. What could have happened to the two boys?

Jared had not told Jensen what he had spoken to the inspector.

Jensen had reluctantly accepted not to make him any more questions, even though he was very worried about this fact.

But he understood that he could not expect too much from Jared ... they are just met.

The next day, however, Jared disappeared again, for picking up the X-ray to the head that he had done at the hospital.

Normally it would take more to withdraw it, but be very police inspector friends, helped a lot to speed things up.

Jared did not expect that the primary that had been treating, and the inspector, they did sit in the basement of the hospital, to talk about it with the utmost confidentiality.

Jared threw a look of apology to Jensen, who had to wait again in the waiting room. Alone.  
   
"What is all this mystery? So do worry about my friend and me too! I have a tumor or something ?? "he asked.

"None of this, Jared, quiet ... you are not life threatening." He said the inspector.

"Peace should not stand not so" the doctor said. "It is true, is not in danger of life ... for now, but amnesia is not caused by a shock to the sinking of the ship ..." said the primary.

"I suffer from ... Azzaimmer?" Asked Jared, hesitant and trembling.

"Good God, no! At twenty-six ?? No, Jared, but the issue is even more serious ... the amnesia was caused by a gun ... "

"What ... what about the devil? I have a bullet in the brain ?? Is absurd! I should be dead by now! "Jared shifted.

"No, Jared! I have not spoken of bullets, and in any case there are weapons that we do not know, because the government is concerned to keep them hidden, because it is too dangerous ... new weapons from the unprecedented power, many people do not even suspect the existence and can do things that hitherto thought possible only in science fiction! "said the primary.

"This is absurd."

"Jared, the doctor assured us the most complete confidentiality of this x-ray ... will not come out of here, I swear," said the inspector.

"In short, you want to tell me what the hell have I have ???" asked Jared, surging.

The he showed the X-ray. There was a white spot somewhere on his head.

"This is the memory area reserved, Jared ... we did some analysis and it is clear that you have been shoot ... but not from an ordinary gun ... the classic guns that know you, forget them! This is a new gun, is very different from what you have known so far, you do not shoot fire and does not work with bullets ... and most importantly does not kill. " He said the primary.

"And what does? It makes you end up in a long and painful death? It makes you hurt? "He asked Jared trembling.

"In a sense ... you do not get sick, but your brain ... induces amnesia, Jared! For the rest is harmless, completely harmless and does not harm in any other way your brain or your body ... the only thing it does is affect memory, to make us forget some pieces of your life ... it's a kind of mental manipulation . One of the many. "

"I have ... led to forget? Who?? And why? "Jared asked.

"I and my agents suspect that those who did it were on that ship, Jared. Probably you have seen something that you can not see ... maybe the sinking of the ship was not an accident, maybe you've caught someone to tamper with the engine or maybe it's another success that we do not sappiamo..non is a case that you can not remember exactly the time you spent there. This type, or these guys, whoever they were, did you forget. "He continued the inspector.

"Do you think ... that they are the same people ... who want me dead?" Jared asked.

"It is likely, yes ... but we can not understand why they wanted to leave you alive." He also told the inspector.

"Jensen ... he does not remember anything ... was with me on that ship ... maybe they did the same thing to him ..."

"No, Jared .....Jensen ... he did visit me, after you've had that nasty fall. It took me a few minutes to establish that his amnesia is quite natural. "Said the doctor.

 

 

 

*

  
Jared felt incredibly tired. He returned from Jensen and told him that they could leave. When they were out of the hospital, you feel collapsing again, Jensen was so close, and almost collapsed in his arms.

  
"Hey, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here." said Jensen.  
"No, all is not well" Jared said, sobbing.

  
"Now we go home and finally tell me everything. I can not stand to see you like this. "He said Jensen.


	8. Blood money

"... I am rich, Jensen..e this has always been a curse for me ... my parents died in a fire when I was only a few months, and I was the only heir of their home, and sole heir of their immense heritage ... "

"Wow, you would not think that you're a rich ... I mean, you're very humble ... usually do not ..."

"That's because I hate this money ... it's ... bloody ..."

"What do you mean?" asked puzzled Jensen.

"My parents ... God forgive me for speaking ill of them, tby dead, but they were not the classic example of good people ... have accumulated all this money by fair trade and ileciti ... more unlawful than lawful ..."

Jensen looked at him carefully.

"They have worked with several people, the favors done them, and in return they received money ... lots of money .."

"It seems like a mafia story ... that is, forgive me, I do not mean ..."

"It's all right, Jensen, you have every right to express opinions, and to judge ... and you're right, in some ways I know they are also involved in mafia organizations ..."

"Holy God, Jared ..."

"They ... do not think too badly of them ... I do not know if they said just to make me feel better, but before he died, they left me a letter, through which they said ... that the only things they have always said No,they were no murders of innocent people, and the exploitation and prostitution of children and minors, "said Jared weeping.

" Hey, it's okay, calm down, I did not judge them ... .You can tell me why ... you are stuck in these circles? As it began, Jared? They wrote in the letter? "

"My mother had a sister ... a sister who was very ill and needed money, lots of money to pay for expensive treatment to which they had to submit to be able to save ... but they do not have them ... and they had this cousin who was part of the mob and ... the money he had them ... he had so many ... made contact with this cousin, but he wanted to help them to do favors to him and to them ... "

"And then later, they continued to ask for more, I guess ..." said Jensen.

"You can not get out of these revolutions, once you're in it ... and then my parents living a miserable life ... when they saw that things have turned in a different way, that money never failed ... have decided to continue ... "

"But then they changed their minds ... I guess ..."

"The people with whom they were dealing with ... were tired of their scruples, their whims ... they sent my father to the hospital massacring it by barrel ... and of course the police inspector when he saw tanned that way, leaders who do not immediately had fallen down the stairs, but it was a settling of scores among people of a certain lineage ... he has experience in these matters ... "

"The police inspector? The one you were talking about these days? "

"Exact. After that day, my father confessed their sins, their weaknesses ... everything ... even the blackmail ... the concealment of stolen objects ... the inspector took to heart their case, and became attached ... obviously the offenses were criminal, but he did in how to make them serve through the rehabilitation centers as their cases "

"Not... did not go to jail? But ... "he said Jensen stunned.

"Jensen, you must understand that in situations like these, belongs in jail people as tantamount to condemning them to death ... .They should not have known that the police knew of certain trades or killed avebbero them mercilessly ... also my mother was pregnant ... waiting me ... and then you could not compromise their safety ... .that they did my to try to repay what the inspector did for them, he was to promise to let him have the blow that could have put a spoke in the wheels to those people ... "

"A very dangerous thing ..." said Jensen.

Now Jared were tears in his eyes. "They were so attentive ... and yet must have seen the inspector and ... began to get suspicious ... began the threats ... and when they saw that my parents were trying now to get out of everything ... became worse ..."

"Holy God, the fire ... it was not an accident ..." Jensen realized in horror.

"Yes, but not for that reason ... the situation was already serious, and the cousin of my mother would have liked that they give way home to him and most of the money ... of course they said no ..."

"And so he ..."

"Yeah ... .I saved myself because my mother was able to save me incredibly, throwing from the first floor window, wrapped coperte..ma of them ... were not able to get out of the house ... the inspector took me to heart and continued to protect me in all these years ... they never found my distant hand cugino..in found many of them and were able to shut them down in jail ... were a small group ... thanks to the blow of my genitori..ma still not enough ... I still receive threats for several years ... and all because my cousin wants money ... he says that after they killed my parents, it is up to him this legacy, even as if they have become so rich is its merit ... but I'd rather die than give this money to the man who has ruined and killed my family! "Jared said, banging his fist on the table.

Jensen looked at him, filled with compassion.

"God ... what I'm doing ... I'm scared you ..." Jared said, putting his hands through his hair and eyes.

"Jared, do not say even as a joke ... I was just thinking ... you should get rid of this money and you yourself have said he do not want ..."

"You think I have not already thought of? I made donations of donazioni..beneficienza of charity ... but it will never end, Jensen ... to him ... and at they do not matter as much money as he could to care of the house ... you want ... but ... are driven by more ... by revenge, revenge for the fact that my parents were made against them ... and they did go to jail many of them ... they want to see me dead and they will not stop !! "he said, crying.

"And I ... I'm scared you again ... it's not right, you should not be involved in all this. You have to go, now! "Said Jared calmer, getting up from the couch.

"No way." Jensen said, standing up in turn.

"You need to leave ... now get out that door, forget everything I told you, the game will start again with your old life, when the recall, and we never see each other again."

"I'm sorry, I can not do." Jensen said, approaching him.

"NOW!" He yelled Jared, in a strangled voice, and his eyes filled with tears.

Jensen, however, had already moved to wrap his arms around Jared's back.

"You're an only child, Jared?" he asked, surprised him first.

"Yes."

"You never had no one to take care of you"

"I never wanted! It would have meant putting people who always love you in danger! "

"I'll let you two secret: **When we love we are always in danger** "

"Beautiful sentence. Certainly much effect, and the second? "

"I am here now to take care of you. You are not longer alone. "


	9. What is real?

"Here you can see some landscapes depicting the sunsets, the moon and the stars ... and also some paintings on nature and fauna, there are left instead of my paintings on the faces of people you know or even meet in the street ... I do not presumes to speak of them played beautifully, indeed their beauty is far superior to my work, but .... "  
   
Jensen listened open-mouthed as Jared exhibited his paintings in his exhibition. With how much humility and how simply presented them, although never missing a certain pride ... .the people staring at them amazed ... ..Jared was very good. Jensen was also enchanted ... Jared portrayed people, not only drew ... it was as if imprimesse their feelings ... emotions ... .i feelings ...  
   
"Jensen, I am sorry ... I told you it would be boring, follow me this far ..." he apologized Jared.

"What are you saying? It's ... it's beautiful ... your paintings are fantastic, Jared ... "

"You think so?" He asked.

"Yes, hell, yes! How do you do? It looks like ... you put your soul in there ... in these pictures ... "

"You know ... Jensen ... as a child I had a fixed ... collect the soul of things"

"The soul?" Jensen asked puzzled.

"Yes, the soul! The leaf swaying melancholic in the sky before falling snowflakes ... ... the rain that falls on the lake, water circles that ripple ... a crying child ... the emotion in the eyes of the people ... a single tear ... but ... Jensen ... ... are you crying? "Jared asked in amazement.

"Forgive me, I ... I do not know what came over me ... will your words have moved me ... ..."

"Oh ..." said Jared hit. "I did not think I had a romantic ... then I'll feel more comfortable to make you see this!" She said smiling, going to the desk of his study and taking out a small photo album.

"They're great! You made you ??? "Jensen asked.

"Yes, I ... as I said, I seek always this ... soul ... and not enough for me to draw, I want ... I want to try to ... take pictures!"

Jensen looked at the photo of an old man sitting on a bench watching the pier, and a woman who was nursing a baby in a pub ... then came the image of a little girl with a fluttering dress running, taking on a balloon.

"The joy, the sadness, the sadness ... I try to capture these emotions!" Jared said.

"To also capture the soul of the world? And why?"

"I do not know, I ... maybe because in my life I have never been able to keep anything ... I seemed to see me slip away things and I could not do anything to hold them back, they went away from me like ... like ghosts ..."

Jensen stared at him.

"God, I do not know why I'm telling these things ..." Jared said, turning and shaking his hair, feeling ridiculous.

 

 

_"Why are you silent and not say anything?" Jensen asked._

_"What should I say?" Asked Sammy sad._

_"Whatever ... usually talk all the time!"_

_"Well, people are not always the same, no? change! "_

_"Everyone, except you ...."_

_"Yeah ... I can not change," said Sammy sadly._

_"This is what saddens you. Look at you, you grow up ... you have 8 years! "_

_Sammy was silent._

_"I can not ever change ..."_

_"Sammy ... is what he said the psychologist, is not it? No need to listen to what you have to dice..non longer be a psychologist with me..i will not allow it anymore! "_

_"You can not stop me!"_

_"Then I will not go over it myself!"_

_"What you use? You have already made the brainwashing ... I do not exist for the world !! "_

_"But you exist for me, you're my Sammy!"_

_"Until???"_

_"Until ... forever, damn it!"_

_"You will want more ... later want more! You will want friends that others can see your friends !! "_

_"You are real and I'll show you!" Said Jensen taking the polaroid._

_"Jensen not be ridiculous"_

_"Look!" Jensen said, shooting him a photo. He looked at her and there was nothing. Sammy looked at the photos hurt._

_"And you will forget about me ... I'm a ghost. A ghost! "Said Sammy running away._

_"SAMMY! SAMMY !!! "_  
  
   
"What ... what do you say we go for a ride to Venice, now?" Jensen asked, picking up a sweat.

 

"Who is Sammy?" Jared asked as they walked.

"How ... how do you know about Sammy?" Asked Jensen shivering a bit '.

"I hear you talking in sleep, friend ..." Jared said. "I've felt very sad ... you seemed to me very sad.. keep saying Sammy sammy sammy ... like a lullaby ... was very poignant ... I rejected the idea of waking up ... I thought you did not remember anything of your life ..."

"Uhm..è so in fact ... but I brief flash but are more like memories of a dream rather than real memories and its ..."

"And Sammy who it is? Your little friend of the heart? "Jared asked.

"Uhh ... ..not just"

"È..uhm..il your boyfriend?" Ventured Jared.

"Thing? No! "Jensen laughed. "I'm not gay, you know ... and then Sammy is much more than that ... more than a boyfriend ..."

"Damn ... a...a brother, then? A little brother? "

Jensen frowned.

"Forgive me, I should not be intrusive." He apologized Jared.

"It is not my brother ... not really ... i wanted that it was, but the truth is that Sammy has never existed ..."

"As?"

"A brother imagination ... that's what it's always been for me ... I felt so alone, Jared. I invented this little brother ... he was everything to me, and I was all for he ... "

"It seems a sad story more of my" said Jared. "I suppose in the end Sammy has disappeared ..."

Jensen looked at him with a penetrating stare. "Mmm ... yes ... but sometimes I find it even in a dream ... but you know what? When you're here next to me, Sammy disappear! "

Jared remained silent.

"Sorry, I did not want to embarrass you!" Said Jensen.

"Excuse me, gentlemen, but if you do not get on the gondola, you have to move, this is a point of passage and ye were blocking" them called the gondolier.

Jared smiled at him: "Do you want to go for a ride?"

"Why not? I've never been on a gondola! "said Jensen.


	10. A kiss to cherry favor

"Wow, in Venice, in gondola ..." commented Jensen.

  
"It's not like ... I mean it's not a romantic thing ... .." mumbled Jared, worried.

  
"Quiet, Jared ... I'm fine ... it's nice ..." he said, shaking Jared's hair. Jared blushed and turned away, and Jensen took the opportunity to see him better.

  
Really nice guy ... and he hits his tenderness, his dolcezza..la its delicacy. It was never too ... in any sense. He always worried about not disturbing or not to embarrass the other.  
Jensen felt strange sensations. He felt incredibly light at his side, and this, considering the danger he was only by standing close, it was really funny and strange.  
Tender ... he thought after a while '.

  
romantic images of him and Jared that they woke up in the same bed, cuddling each other, and then you were having breakfast at the bar, or were going to take in ice cream, sitting on the benches of Piazza San Marco, the flashed before my eyes.  
Reverie ... but were nice.

  
He not remembers anything of his old life and it was strange that it does not disturb, and it did not disrupt Jared. Of course, they had sought his house, but had surrendered immediately ... almost as if they would prefer remain idle, in this their little bubble, that perhaps made them happier, more than you could be on the other side, maybe.

  
" You like this?" He asked Jared suddenly, touching her hand, intending to venice.

  
Jensen gasped, but quickly replied, "Yes."  
With you ... he wanted to add.

  
They saw other very famous landmarks, including the Basilica of San Marco ... then they stopped in the square to eat sandwiches and Jensen laughed, seeing Jared totally mobbed by pigeons, all over him.

  
How wonderful ... Who could wanted him hurt? Jensen thought, filled with love.

  
Came to him, and sent away the pigeons ... Jared is perhaps struggled a bit 'too much, trying to escape those attacks, and while Jensen was trying to keep him from falling, holding him by one arm, their faces ended up close, very close.

  
"Thanks, it's all right now," said Jared embarrassed.  
"Well," said Jensen.

  
They ate at an outdoor restaurant. A dinner of fish, exquisite, and then walked in the evening through the squares.  
They walked and walked and then stopped. They realized that it was very late, and there was hardly anyone who walked more walking.  
"Maybe we should stop" Jared said, looking at the dark water and clear in front of them.

  
"But we stopped" Jensen said, at his side.

  
"I ... my head is spinning .." Jared said, softly, a bit 'confused by the strange situation.

  
"Jared ..." said his name, making him turn, in a gentle way that even he expected, and perhaps not even Jared. Jared turned imperceptibly, in the dark of night, and then he found Jensen's mouth on his.

  
A sweet kiss, accompanied by Jensen's hand on her face.

 

Jensen's mouth is always opened gently, slowly, inviting his to do the same.

sweet kisses, languid, then deeper. Jared did not complain when Jensen gently pushed him to back up to sit on the bench, and with the same delicacy the straddled.

Jared smiled on her lips, during the kiss, and even Jensen.

At Jared liked to feel the hands of Jensen on his face, caressed him so sweetly, and the brisk night air made them to him appreciate even more, while Jensen was lost in the taste of Jared's mouth.  
   
 

 

 

_A thirteen year old Sammy was sitting on Jensen's bed, tortured by his hands, while Jensen turned several times, trying to get to sleep._

_"I was hoping to get me a little nap ... but if I see you so troubled, I can not. What is the problem now? "She asked Jensen._

_"I've never kissed anyone ... probably I will never do it ..." he said Sammy sad._

_"You mean ... Kissing ... kissing?" asked at seventeen year Jensen._

_"Mpf ..."_

_"All right ... you can kiss me if you want" ventured Jensen._

_"You're joking, right? I'm your brother "Sammy laughed._

_"Nope. You're not my brother in the true sense of the termine..non you were born from my own parents, and we have not even the same blood ... to be honest I do not know what kind of blood you have ... "Jensen said thoughtfully. Sometimes he thought he saw a dark liquid when Sammy got hurt ... but rarely happened, and did not know whether if he had only imagined. Remember that sometimes it hurt, but did not understand why, since it was not really an integral part of its reality, and when he could almost touch the things, after the little ones slipped away from his hands and fell._

_Sammy seemed to be upset about the blood issue, and Jensen said quickly:_

_"Hey ... sorry, I did not mean to offend you ... then we give him this kiss?" He asked._

_"What happened to your conviction of not being gay?" Taunted Sammy._

_"You not to blame you. You are Sammy, okay? And then I ... I ... I think I love you "He said to him the first time._

_He did not add anything else, because Sammy had pushed his face against his and gave him a sweet kiss._

_Jensen returned, holding his face. Could touch Sammy. He had always done, although perhaps so far had never pushed._

_Feel a hint of the flavor of Sammy's mouth, and their tongues were touching ... it seemed to perceive a faint cherry flavor ... before they broke away._

 

_Sammy looked confused and a bit 'surprised, as if even he did not expect it to be possible ... Jensen on the other hand, was smiling and was about to say something, but then Sammy began to tremble._

_"Sammy, what have you?"_

_"I do not know, j-jensen!" He said, taking to shake more violently._

_"Sammy, Sammy, calm down!" Said Jensen, squeezing his shoulders._

_"I- i do not know what happens to me!" Sammy said. Now it seemed that he had convulsions._

_"Sammy, please calm down ... it's all right, I'm here!" He begged him, hugging him strongly, but Sammy did not stop, then in total panic, she made him lie down on the bed, and then hugged him again, saying with tears in his eyes:_

_"Forgive me, forgive me! I do not do it again, do not kiss you anymore, but that's enough, stop trembling, please, please! "_

_And Sammy stopped. He began to breathe more slowly, and he calmed down._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he continued to say jensen for an interminable time, strong hugging him._  
   
   
   
   
Jensen was still kissing jared ... a faint taste of cherry felt in her mouth, threatened to make him come back to mind memories that made him sick, but prevented at the thought of taking the whole shape.

Suddenly, however, the drama. Jared pulled away from Jensen. Unhappy expression on his face.

"No, Jensen ... I can not."

"No? It seems to me that you were going very well "provoked laughing Jensen.

"No, I really can not!"

"You have someone else?" Jensen asked, suddenly the idea of a jealous.

"No! I have no one, Jensen! And it's better that way, and it must remain that way! "

"No, it does not have to be so!"

"It, however, we can not ... you ... you'll always be in danger with me, I'm sorry, but we have to say goodbye !!" said Jared unhappy, running away.

"JARED! NO! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? JARED! "

 

 

 

Jared had now fled away and Jensen put a hand in his hair.

"It is not possible! Because? Because?"  
   
"Why is it so that everybody does, Jensen ... .all'inizio we are all, then suddenly ... poof ... they go away without a reason!" Said a voice.

"Sammy!" Cried Jensen horrified. He did not expect to see him ... but how long was that he did not see it then? He could not remember his old life ... completely ... could be that he had never stopped to see it!

"And who else? Just me, Jensen ... just me of you can trust ... only I will never leave you! "

"Come ... come to light," said Jensen.

Sammy was under Iluminata light from the streetlight and Jensen could finally see her face.

To Jared!

"No!! Jared not! "

"Yes, instead ... when I told you that I could never change, but I was wrong, Jensen ... I have the face that you want, and now it's Jared!"

"No! Not to involve him in this madness, he has enough problems !!! "

"It's not me doing it, Jensen ... are you ..."

"No ... please ..." said Jensen.  
   
Sammy came up a little to him and saw that Jensen was going to cry.

"Why do not you want me anymore, Jensen?"

"Sammy, no! I love you, I always wanted you with me, for what I can remember, but I do not ... I need to love someone in a different way, you understand me? "He asked desperately.

Sammy looked sad and Jensen felt destroyed, still overwhelmed once. Without thinking too much, he hugged him.

 

Jared at her home she felt destroyed ... he felt destroyed from having reacted that way and he felt annihilated by the fact that Jensen was not going back.

Maybe it was true that love was just un'illusion ... but did not finish the thought, because the clack of the door opening, signaled that someone imagined Jensen, had entered.

It was a risk to keep open the front door in his situation, but he hoped to come back.

He saw it and felt relieved, but he was too ashamed to say anything cosa..voleva just take it all back what he said after that kiss wonderful.

"Jared..per fortune Are Here" the Jensen said, dissolving it like butter.

And then just they kissed. There was no need for words. Anything. Jared wanted to apologize for the way he reacted, but Jensen did not need.  
   
They continued to kiss, until they lay on the bed both of Jared.

Jared groaned under the kisses on Jensen's neck, and when you feel his hands wander under his shirt, caressing her bare skin, and reluctantly had to stop him, however.

"Jensen ... listen ... I ... I never did ... with a man ... and then ..."

"Yes, I understand," said Jensen.

"I want you, but ... do not ... we could wait?" Jared asked embarrassed.

"You know, Jared, I have to say sorry ..." he said.

"Thing? For this? No me.."

"Schhh, I must apologize for not being entirely honest with te..ho had experiences with men ... but ... just do not ... I did not want to run away away, and I tell you ... I was ..."

"Dumb" said Jared, kissing him again.

"It bothers you wait?" Jared asked him, stroking his face.

"Are you kidding? There will be time for sex, but for this, "she said, hugging him tight," I do not want to wait, and I intend to sleep embraced to you all night! "

"Is a promise?" He asked, smiling Jared.


	11. Romanticism

Jared and Jensen are still sleeping, embraced.

  
Jared woke up first and looked Jensen, his face a millimeter from his face, and smiled.

  
He missed some time watching it and then rubbed his nose flat against his forehead.

  
He did not want to wake him, but he could not help but give him a light kiss on the lips.

  
Jensen sighed loudly and with a loud noise shook more grip on Jared and moved, causing it to sink even further under the covers.

  
Jared laughed.

  
"Do not you know that when someone is sleeping do not wake him up?" She asked hoarsely, stroking his cheekbones on the face, with his face to a millimeter.  
"Sorry, but you have a face so beautiful and lips so inviting that ...." Jared said softly.

  
Jared was unable to continue because Jensen's head was all on his neck, rubbing over it with his lips. He groaned.  
Jensen pulled him even stronger. He had the impression of not sleeping so well for so long.

  
She kissed him on the lips impetuously, pressing it on him as he could.  
"This is what you call a good day," Jared said.

  
Jensen continued to stroke it under his shirt, until his hand not ends in forbidden places, going to touch it right there, over the boxer.  
Jared gasped and laughed. "Jensen"

  
Jensen moaned. "Controlled" Jared said with difficulty, his mouth open, trying not to laugh, and trying to sound strict.  
"If you react like that, it has a hard" Jensen said, continuing to stroke over his boxers.

  
"You have such a great desire?" He teased Jared.

  
"I am a man, men have so much desire for excellence, and then if you are near someone like you, well ..."

  
Jared did not make him continue. He smiled and kissed him impulsively, surprising him crazy.  
Jensen's hand slipped away from Jared boxer, all weirded out by that reaction.

  
Usually men if you try to excite them in that way, they are not romantic ... except Jared however ...

  
He answered with a kiss.

  
Was special, oh yes, it was special.

  
He returned at the kiss with much more romantic than before.

  
"Have patience ... ..." Jared whispered, getting out of bed. "You'll be rewarded with interest," he said, slipping out of bed.

  
 _I'm in love with you, Jared ._... Jensen thought, looking at him, smiling.


	12. Tremendous and wonderful

After waking cuddly, Jared and Jensen dress to go to an event in honor of all the victims persecuted by stalkers, predators or murderers.  
Inspector John had asked Jared to be there, to give hope to all those people. Who better than he could do it?

  
Jared was quite nervous, and while Jensen settled better tie, told him that he could do, he was the best.

  
The event was held outdoors in Piazza San Marco. Jared was a nervous wreck.

  
"I had prepared a speech to be learned by heart, but when I get here, I have forgotten everything!" Jared beginnings to the crowd, who laughed.

  
"I will try to speak from the heart." Said Jared at people.

  
"You are all here because like me, you are victims of persecution and other acts more or less barbarous physical and psychological violence, which is no less serious. All of you are here because you need a word that gives you comfort, care, welfare, peace. Can you say that will, when it will pass.

  
I can not tell you this, my dear friends, I am sorry to give you this disappointment, but I can tell you how you should pass this time, what is the best care possible to pass it with less agony! Love, my friends. It is the best medicine. The love of family, of friends, of their partners -and so saying he looked Jensen - take refuge in it, not to fall victim to depression. Do not underestimate this love, because it is powerful, very powerful and can help you return to live! "

  
There was applause on these words, among which there was also that of Jensen.

  
"Do you want to maybe tell you ... why! Why are there people who do harm to others, because you always have to suffer because of them!

  
Some, indeed, many, would be in favor of the death penalty for certain people ... for those people who do harm to others ... I do not agree, do not EVER pays violence with violence, as hurt. We are better than them and it is not so that we demonstrate.

  
Want not to tell you why, because there is no ... there is almost never, they do not even know them. Have compassion for these people, my friends ... because they never know what **love** is! "

There was another loudest applause of the first, and Jared bowed his head, all red, then went to Jensen, who embraced him.

"I did penalty" he said.

"Are you kidding? You've been wonderful. You are wonderful! "He said Jensen.

"I fully share," said a man behind them.

"Inspector!" Jared said with a smile.

"Sorry to steal it again, but I and Jared we have to discuss the usual issues ..." he said at Jensen. "You're sorry Jared?"

"Oh, no, I arrive." Jared said, looking at Jensen with an apologetic look.  
   
   
Jensen looked Jared away and felt an infinite pity for him. It was unfair that he should suffer so in his life. Constantly with the fear of being hunted down at any moment and despite the fine words of Jared, he felt a rush of strong hatred toward people who persecuted him for a bit 'of money.

As he thought these things, watching the river of Venice and mirrored in its waters, waters that harked image sad and desolate, feeling suddenly a sinister creak behind him.

did not have time to turn to, his head was hit pretty strong from a plank of wood, fallen down from a crane was able to lift only a few meters, before the escape.

A backlash that made him fall straight into the water.

 

 

_5 years ago……_

_"Please, it's my only son ... my only son ..."_

_"Shut up, woman '_  
  
_Jensen could hear the excited voices of a man and his mother in the hallway, and he was terrified._

_"Sammy !!! They take me and will take me away, and they will me turn into a bad man !! "_

_"No, Jensen! You're not a bad man, you're the nicest guy I've ever known! "_

_"Do not let them take me away!" Pleaded a twenty-five Jensen in tears._

_"Jensen, I can not do anything, I have no power in your world, I ..." said Sam heartbroken._

_The door to his room burst open and a man dressed in black with dark glasses, stepped forward._

_"Do not hurt my mother, I beg you!"_

_"If you come with us, not going to happen!" The man said._

_"And what will you do to me?"_

_"This'll find out, now come with us!" Said the man tugging._

_Jensen wept, but was afraid to object for fear of what would happen to himself and to his mother._

_"Saaaaaaaaaam!" Cried Jensen._

_"Who the fuck is sam ??" the man asked, surprised._

_Sam frustration, succeeded not know how, to bring down the statue of the angel resting on Jensen's library, on the man's head that tugged._

_The man slumped to the ground in pain._

_Jensen looked at Sam sitting in the library, open-mouthed. Sam himself could not believe what he had just done._

_The peace did not last long, came another man, who took Jensen and the man passed out, and took her away, annoyed them._

_It was enough though. Jensen looked at Sam with a bright look, sure that he would never leave._

_"I will never abandon you, Jensen!" Indeed, he said Sam._

 

*  
Some months before ....

"You'll have to kill this guy, and you do it well, without being detected. Not fail. "He said a man, holding out a photograph.

Jared's photography.

"It looks so young ..." commented Jensen a bit 'sad.

"It is, but it does not matter."

"I ... I never killed anyone."

"Not even this matters ..."

Instead the importance had it all right.  
   
   
   
   
 

 

 

_*_  
_On the ship, before the sinking ...._  


_"I'm sorry ... when I realized to be falling in love with you, it was too late," said Jensen, with tears in his eyes, pointing a gun._

_"Spare this comedy .." Jared also said with tears in his eyes. "Anyway ... you kill me, you know, right? At this point you can not go back! "_

_"I ... I'll shoot you now with this special gun ... you will not die, or bleed, but you'll forget everything that has happened on this ship"_

_"What?"_

_"And forget me," he added, sad._

_"Jensen, no! Do not do it!"_

_BANG_

  
  
_Jared slumped to the ground, and another man appeared from a cabin._

_"You should not have to do it, Dean ... .the orders are orders .."_

_"I could not let ..."_

_"He died? You are stupid_  
_greenhorn love and pathetic! I tampered with the gear and the internal engine of the ship. In a moment this ship will sink, "the man said, grinning._

_"You did what ???" asked Jensen dismayed._

_"Good luck to save your little friend, in those conditions," he said, referring to Jared slumped to the ground, before he left._  


_*_

  
_Jensen was trying to run in the general confusion, chasing the base point of the lifeboats._

_"Jensen ... I can not do more ..." said Jared, who was about to fall asleep._

_"Hey, hey, hey, we got, hold on!" Said Jensen, instead arriving just in front of a single boat._

_"Do you want to ... kill me?" Jared asked in his sleep._

_"No," Jensen said, and wept. "I want to save you" and so saying, he caressed cheek's Jared and set him on his private boat._

_The boats were counted. He had ordered a just his name because there was no room in the event of shipwreck, but could not get to the public boats. He had the impression that Jared not going to make it._

_"But here it says ... .Jensen ackles. It's yours. "Jared muttered._

_"Yeah," Jensen admitted._

_"Jensen, come with me."_

_Jensen cried again. "And who would pull down the lifeboat? No, Jared. I must stay here. You must save yourself, and I have to pay for what you ... "was unable to continue and began to pull down the boat with ropes that were on it._

_"Jensen ... no ..." now Jared had no strength even to speak._

_He was crying. He struggled to even open his eyes a little and sigh: "Jensen ... I ... I'll never forget," he said, through tears._

_"Will you do instead," said Jensen, sad._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then!! I wonder if you were expecting that just Jensen who wanted to protect him, was the one who had to kill him xD if you have any questions, you know that will not be answered, given that you uncommented I can not respond to the cu doubts! : D: D
> 
> At least I hope you appreciate the fact that I continue to update even though I do not receive comments or compliments, I do not know if other authors would do and everything because I love this story and I want to make it known! : D
> 
> Hoping that do you make heard in the comment in the future ... see you soon!


	13. Waking up in the hospital and strange stalking

Jensen woke up in the hospital. The head was buzzing a lot.

  
"Jared ..." he murmured, searching in the dark.

  
"Jared!" Louder he said, his eyes closed.

  
"I'm here. I'm here. "Jared said, taking his hand.

  
Jensen opened his eyes and saw Jared's face. Her hand clutched her.

  
Close as it had always been. He could not escape it. He had tried but had not worked. Never.

  
When it actually started between them?

  
"You had me worried a lot." Jared said with a smile, caressing his forehead. "I've thought of everything ... even in ... in an an attack to hit me," he said.  
Jensen shuddered.

  
"Fortunately then they reassured me that it was an accident, but I really thought that because of my presence to the stupid event, you had threatened to ... to ..."  
"Jared ... no ... it's not stupid, it was important instead ... and you were wonderful ... not .."

  
"No, it was not important whether because of it you have to risk your life!"

  
"Jared ... heard ... hug me." Jensen said smiling.

  
Jared did. Jensen sighed and hugged him tightly.

  
"If they had not seen you, and pulled out of the water ... I ..."

  
"Jared, calm down ... it was impossible that I would not see ... it was broad daylight."

  
"I should not have to leave you alone. It could have been worse. You could have a concussion ... you could ... "

  
"Hey, you seem the way to reassure one that has just awakened in the hospital?" Jensen asked, laughing.

  
Jared leaned on his shoulder and said nothing, and Jensen felt the pounding sound of his heart - jensen - beat faster.

  
"Jared, do not do that ... hey ... hey ..." Jensen said, taking his face, to look into his eyes.

  
"I think ... to try ... feelings for you, and if you do so ... only worse the situation," he said in a cracked voice and polished look.

  
Jared laughed with tears in their eyes and they kissed gently and romantically.

 

When you leave the hospital a few days later, Jensen believed they were following them ... then he thought he was being paranoid.  
But when they got home, it became a certainty.

  
A tall man with hair blacks and raincoat, staring at them from afar.


	14. Come on, friends is a little too strong as the word - first part

The next day, when Jared walked away to go talk to the inspector, Jensen decided he'd had enough.

  
He recognized the same man who had followed yesterday, the hospital, and all the way home, and Jared had not noticed ... and had caught him follow them that morning.  
He decided to deal with it.

  
"Since yesterday you're following me! You may know what you want from me ??? "he asked Jensen surprising him by hiding around the corner of an alley.  
"I'm a bad stalker, I see." He said, smiling man.

  
"Wait ... you ... you have a familiar face ..." Jensen said, pointing.

  
"Are you still without memory, or maybe you're starting to remember?" The man asked.  
Jensen had a flashback.

 

_"And forget me,"_

_"Jensen, no! Do not do it!"_

_BANG_

 

_Jared slumped to the ground, and another man appeared from a cabin._

_"You should not have to do it, Dean ... .the orders are orders .."_

_"I could not let ..."_

_"He died? You are stupid_  
_greenhorn love and pathetic! I tampered with the gear and the internal engine of the ship. In a moment this ship will sink, "the man said, grinning._

_"You did what ???" asked Jensen dismayed._

_"Good luck to save your little friend, in those conditions," he said, referring to Jared slumped to the ground, before he left._

 

 

Jensen looked surprised.

  
"Diosanto ... the man of the attack ... you were ... you were

  
"You do not think calling it attack is a bit 'strong as the word?" The man asked.  
Jensen had another violent flashbacks and held his head.

  
_"So now we're friends?" He asked a blond boy sitting on the grass of the school garden._

  
_"Ahhh, let's go ... friends is a bit 'too much strong as word." He said the dark-haired boy, sitting at his side._

 

"Cas ..." murmured Jensen.  
"Yes. "The man replied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not expected you of Cas eh? <333


	15. Come on, friends is a little too strong as the word - second part

 

_"Hey, watch where you're going, midge ...."_

_Castiel fell after tripping of overweight boy who stuck his tongue, and walked away with the other boys, laughing._

_"Need a hand?"_

_Castiel turned and saw a blond boy held out his hand to help him up._

_"Thank you," he answered, smiling._  
  
   
   
   
   
_*_

_"You know, Richard and his friends always take me around ... and I never have the courage to say to the teacher ..." Castiel said, sitting on the steps of the school door._

_"You're wrong. They are children like you, who are raising children as Richard and his friends "had said Jensen._

_Castiel frowned._

_"See? You should answer: you does about your business ... or - shut up - and yet remains silent you, why? "_

_"I do not know ... I do not want you hurt you, perhaps .." said Castiel._

_"You're weird," Jensen said, biting into the apple._

_"Thanks, I know," Castiel snorted._

_"But because the other kids think I'm weird, it means that we are equal, and then we're friends."_

_"If you think it is this friendship, you have a lot to learn," he said Castiel puzzled._   
  
_Jensen stood up annoyed and said, "If you ... let's assume that you are invisible, okay? And only I can see you and talk to you ... "_

_"But this is impossible!"_

_"Yes, but let's pretend! If only I could see you, and you can just talk with me ... and ... and you like this ... if we're both happy ... would be friendship? "Jensen asked, thinking of Sam, who at that time was four._   
  
_Castiel seemed very puzzled, but reflected a few seconds._

_"If together we are good, yes, but why we need you ... that I must be invisible?"_

_"Beh..perchè if you were not invisible, you could go with the other children ... ... and I let me!" Said Jensen._

_Castiel was even more puzzled. "I am not invisible, but they are here, now, with you."_   
  
_Jensen brightened. "So you're saying that we're friends?"_

_"You know, I do not like this word game" Castiel said, going away, leaving Jensen thrilled._  
  
  
   
   
_*_

_"I am very popular here ... how about you get into my group? Forget what unscrewed talking to people who do not exist! In time you will find that some friends are better than others, you would not want to make friends with the wrong people? In this I can help, "said a boy at Castiel._

_"I think I'm able to determine myself the wrong people, thank you," said Castiel cold._   


  
_A few minutes after....._

_"So now we're friends?" Jensen asked, sitting on the grass of the school, smiling garden._

_"Ahhh, let's go ... friends is a bit 'too much strong as word." He said the dark-haired boy, sitting at his side, smiling._   
  


 

_*_

_"Sorry if I came late to the playground today, but Sammy started to cry ... ... and could not stop ..."_

_"Why did not you also brought him?"_

_"Why ... would distract me," he admitted Jensen ashamed._

_"Distracted?" She repeated Castiel thrilled._

_"Yes, when he is with me ... I only watch him and I forget the world that is around me," said Jensen._

_"But what you say? Where did you hear this sentence? "_

_"I think I heard it the other day in a movie!"_

_"A movie?"_

_"A film about love, I think! A man he said to a woman! The phrase seemed to me beautiful! "_

_"But Jensen, you're talking about a film of love, and your little brother ... imaginary ... how can they be the same?"_   
  
_Jensen got up from the swing, hysterical._

_"Do not talk about him like that!"_

_"Sorry, I did not want to offend him ... but now you sit down and not shout"_

_"No, I ... I just remembered that my brot ... Sammy, it becomes very agitated when I'm not there, I have to go, otherwise the fever could last more and keep me up all night ... and then I do not want see you anymore. You are bad. Bad"_

_"Jensen !!" Castiel tried to call him back, but to no avail. Jensen was already running, with tears running down his face._  
  
   
 

Jensen emerged from those memories and Castiel said,

"You were so obsessed with Sam ...."

"Yeah ... I remember I was doing you a head like that." He said making the gesture with his hands. "Who knows what I will have plagued you ... because you believed me crazy"

Castiel frowned and said, "You not still remember everything ..."

"Er, no ... but I remember enough ..." said Jensen.

"No, Jensen ... look ... better .." he said Castiel poggiandogli his forehead.

 

 

 

_*_   
_"I suffered from epilepsy ... I alternate times when I felt good, others that took me into convulsions, and they had to take me to the hospital, and that day, as they carried me to the ambulance weight, I saw him ...." He told Castiel ._

  
_Jensen could revisit the time when watched helplessly, with Sammy at his side, to Castiel that was loaded into the ambulance ...._   
_But what happened to Castiel that day, she could not see him, but Castiel remembered._

  
_"I was about to lose consciousness, indeed, I lost them in alternation, and one of the times when I was still here, I saw him ... .I saw you and ... .Sammy, holding your hand ... it was small, and tender just like you told me ... that was the image I had seen before losing consciousness ... when I recovered, I told you just that ... "_

  
_"Yes, yes! I remember now ... and from that moment ... "_   
_"I saw him too ... already" confirmed Castiel._

 

 

 

  
_*_

  
_"Misha ... Misha ... oh, why are you, Misha? ... Deny your name and give yourself a new name!" Sam told him an obnoxious, by harassment, in Jensen's home._

  
_Castiel laughed. "And what name I should give me, please?"_

  
_Sam the small of nine, had an idea._

  
_"Here! Grace as the grace of an angel! Called by the name of an angel ... so you can protect me and my brother forever! "_

  
_Castiel laughed. "Ok ... little ... from now on I will be for you Castiel."_

_Castiel watched amused to neck massage that Jensen was doing to a fifteen years Sam lying on the bed._

_"Ahhhh." Sam sighed while Jensen was more pressure on the neck, swaggering of that skill._

_"It looks like you're having an orgasm, Sammy." Castiel said amused._

_"Shut up," said Jensen._

_"Only he can call me." Replied Sam._   
  
_Castiel looked up to heaven, and said, smiling: "Well, I gotta go ... I leave the two lovebirds alone."_   
  
_As soon as he was gone, Jensen filed of affectionate kisses Sam's neck, who smiled entranced and entertained with their eyes closed, holding a hand to her cheek._

"I saw him too, Jensen." He repeated Castiel.

 

 


	16. Soldiers

"From how much has been going on this ... thing?"

"From what I can remember, to always"

"Always ???? Sam has not really ever gone? "

"As far as I can remember, no ..." Castiel said ironically.

"He really pursued me always ??"

"Do not say that, he may heard you" Castiel said, lowering his voice.

"Castiel! We are talking about…"

"Yes...?" Castiel asked, curious.

Jensen scratched his head, full of guilt.  
   
"So ... does this ... you fall in love the guy who you have to kill, and you'll simply forget the great love of your life?" He teased Castiel.

Jensen stared at him with hate and then said: "So it's true ... I had to ... I had to ... Holy God ...."

"God has nothing to do, Jensen ... are the largest man-made and abject wickedness!"

"As your own! ... You who are the responsible for the sinking of that ship. You wanted to kill us! "

"No, I just wanted to kill him." Castiel said quietly.

"This should make me feel better?"

"It should. Yes. But maybe it should make you feel even better that i do not have you denounced our leaders. "

"Leaders? "

"You know, Jensen ... the fact that your brain now is momentarily melted and makes you so untraceable by those asshole we work for, not sure at all that your devoted companion does the indicator, since his brain is not out of order "he said.  
 

Jensen looked at him strangely.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, right?" Castiel asked quietly.

"No." Jensen admitted.

"Okay ... look, you've never heard of soldiers ...?"

"Soldiers?" Repeated Jensen

"Yes, Jensen .... Soldiers. War machines!"  
   
   
   
   
   
*

"Trained to kill!" Was saying the inspector at Jared.

"You did not say anything new ... I know that there are ruthless killers ... have always existed and will always exist," said Jared.

"No soldiers like the others." He informed the Inspector John. "These soldiers are like ... .quei children who are taken away from their families and raised in satanic sects ... I have heard ... are made to them brainwashed ... if even for a miracle were found, years later, the families would have little from which to take comfort, because they are no longer their sweet children ... believe in the devil, they are totally subject to Satan. "

"It is terrible ... but all this got to do with ..."

"These soldiers are worse than them ... we discovered are kidnapped in different age groups ... are sometimes abducted to children, sometimes by teenagers is ... An organization that leaves nothing to chance ... are washing the brain to these poor boys and subject them to harsh and exhausting workouts that disrupt their minds, and everything in order to turn them into true engines of war! "

"Is really terrible and inhuman ... and you ... you have a face like: - you have not heard the worst - Jared said.

"In fact it gets worse. We suspect that this organization submits the kidnapped boys, to much more than simple grueling workouts ... we suspect that they are cavy ... ... .Jared, cavy for experiments. "

"What ... .types of experiments?" Jared asked, trembling.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

"Military experiments, Jensen." Castiel said. "Abductions of children and young boys with minds already very sensitive and fragile, easy to subdue. Working on the minds carefully because an inclination to extrasensory powers dormant. Tendency to magic. Press to turn that inclination in art and gift itself. human transformation into un'esp real. "

"As? Long years of scientific studies have failed to bring the magic ... ... because that's what we're talking about, right? And how can there be ... could they? "

"As? With the pain! "He said Castiel stopped.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

"Upset their minds suddenly lowering the room temperature where they are, or raising it suddenly, or with deprivation of food or water ... force them to see gruesome scenes or listening to equally horrible things, and then ... when they see that they are at the limit, console them, make them feel better, to make them understand that if they are of good dogs, will not have to suffer. They convince them that violence is normal, routine, almost a trivial thing, and show how to do the right thing or being on the side of good, is synonymous with suffering or death. They show scenes of dropouts, and terminal illnesses, they will never have to deal with, if you will do what I will tell them. "

"But ... .impossibile ... no one can defeat death." Jared replied confused.

"They do. Indeed, we say that death can defeat death. "

"I do not understand."

"You have to understand that these people are working on these guys for years ... modify their DNA and their physiological astro parameters. They are no longer human, Jared. "

"And ... .that ... .that they are?"

"They are of a higher rung of evolution of man ... can freely use the extrasensory powers, they can move things with the thought ... **can kill with thought, if they want. And are MONSTERS. "**  
   
   
   
   
*

"I ... hurt someone?" Jensen asked, trying not to cry.

"No ... Jensen ... I was with you. They took me too, and I can assure you that you have taken so many, so many ... but you've never killed! Jared had to ... had to be the first ... "Castiel said.

"You killed?"

"Yes, but not innocent human beings ... a settling of scores between criminal organizations ... let's say ..."

"Before you were saying that they can control our brain?"

"Yes... do not know of course everything we do ... but they have the parameters set in which the brain must obey ... like" Kill that guy "and they can not see that you did not, of course ... they are not God, but the their appliance will signal that the order was not executed, because your brain will not have done it, and this will be the impetus that will send. "

"My God ... Jared ..."

"Stay calm..so what you're thinking, and quiet, you had amnesia, is a blessing! Your brain does not remember, and so it is on tilt, this means that it can not send the impulse that the action was not carried out, and if you do not receive this impulse, will assume that Jared is dead! "

"But ... but ... I ... remember now ..."

 **"Not completely,"** objected Castiel.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

"There is just hoping to bring back those poor guys, normal people?" Jared asked.

"Jared ... son ... they are remotely controlled by a mechanism that allows you to monitor a particular area of their brain, dedicated to orders. They have to obey, and I do not think either that the mind do it. By now they are used to. Believe me.

  **Are monsters.**

**They can not be saved ... "**

*

  
"You could have betrayed me with them ... and you did not ..." he said Jensen surprised.  
"Please note well, I could do it, but I did not." Castiel said.

  
snapped the embrace between the two.  
Jensen pulled away almost painfully from Cas.

  
"Wait, wait ... you did sink the ship ..." said Jensen.

  
"I see that you can not schiodarti from there." Castiel said, rolling her eyes. "Okay ... I did, but what pretendevi me to do? Are always a soldier and excuse me if I'm not willing to risk death for a stranger ... .sapevo you you'd be saved ... "

  
"How?" Asked Jensen hard.

  
Castiel put her hands on his shoulders. "We are special, Jensen. Very special. Not enough to the sinking of a ship to kill us. "

  
"I ... I do not ... I really believed to be sacrifice myself for Jared, when I put on that raft ..."  
"Very romantic of you ..."

  
"And the amnesia ... like ... like ... you were you?"

  
"No, you did it all by yourself ... but you are not back yet the memory ... remember ... you were still lucid enough to not use your powers to rescue him, so that your cervell did not send the impulse that I had used your powers to save and not to kill, but you were so shocked by signing momentarily forgotten that you could not die. I've always said that love makes stoned. "

  
"No ... it's not true ..." said Jensen.  
"How you say?"

  
"You changed your mind ... was Sam to seeing change, remember?"

 

 

  _*_

_"Cas ... .I am sorry ... I'm sorry ..." Sam was saying, pointing to a Castiel lying on the bed, aching from the beatings she received._

_"Cas ... because the question - That love existr, you did not answer no?" Asked Jensen sad._

_"Why you have did not," Castiel said, showing his face red and swollen from crying punches._

_"But I ... you know why ... .." Jensen said, turning to hide the embarrassment._

_"I know, si..e because remember, the question reminded me of you, and I remembered why you could not answer this ... and thinking about the reason, I also thought of you, so I do not ... I could not say that does not exist! "_

 

 

  
"Jensen!" Jared shouted from afar.

Jensen turned.

"What you gonna do with him?" She asked Castiel.

"I do not know ... I ... I love him, Cas ..."  
"You love him?? But .. Sammy is your great love ... the love of your life ... you are soul mates! "Castiel insisted.

Jensen shook his head.

"... Forgive me if I do not become a fool to try to figure who I love the most, like a hysterical little girl, but ... there is much more going on ... Sam ... do not know who that is, but can not die, ok ? Until proven otherwise can not ... Jared instead, and for my sake, then Jared is the top priority at this time, her safety is worth more than all the rest, and I have to protect him! "

"But your feelings, Jensen ... do not you understand? When Jared will come to know who you are, you will hate you with all his heart and will leave you ... and you'll break your heart ... while Sam will love you forever, we will belong. "

"Enough! Stop it! "  
   
   
"Jensen !!" Now the cry of Jared had become more insistent, and Jensen said last thing:

"Excuse me, but now I have to go from the one I love!" And walked away.  
     
   
   
"Who was that guy? It seemed that you very same shaking ... I was almost thinking of intervening "Jared said.

"Nothing ... it was just someone who claims to be an old friend of mine ... was trying to make me remember something from my past ... but ... I did not understand much ..." Jensen said, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"Wow ... that news! You want to talk? "

"Not now."

"Ok ... then I'll tell you something when we get home ... a small preview: The inspector informed me that the people who want to kill me could be in the organization, or just be the same organization ..."

"... What organization?" Jensen asked breathless.

"This is where the mystery ... the inspector was filled with heavy stuff that would abductions of children or young boys, turned into soldiers, war machines to kill ... modified DNA and experiments that would lead to the esp powers spill! I'll tell you at home ... ma..ehi ... all right? You look pale .. "

"I'm bene..è just ... sounds like science fiction!" Said Jensen. Suddenly the day seemed hotter than usual.

"You know ... I did a little 'pain ... at least according to the story of John ... I ... bo ... I can not ... .odiarli ... If I had in front of them now, at this moment, I think I'd offer to help them."

"Are you serious?" Jensen had stopped.

"Yes! They have no blame for what happened to them ... of what they have become ... .li have taken from children, young people and tortured them with all kinds of torture ... but I'll tell you better at home. "

"Do you realize that ... maybe ... you want to protect those who would not think twice about killing you?"

Jared stopped himself and stared into space.

"Forgive me, I should not say it."

"It's all right, Jensen ... you're right ... it's just che..a Sometimes I forget that they wanted me to your skin ... and still do not understand why ... have not finished the job. Why deprive me of my memory and not complete the job? Perhaps their idea is to tear me apart slowly ... once the brain, the next will be the heart ... "

"Stop!" Jensen said, pulling him, and kissing under a porch.

"Stop it." He repeated, kissing him again.  
   
Jensen did not understand anything, but he knew he loved Jared and more time passed and she loved him, and the idea that Jared could hate him for what he was, for what he had done to him, for what he wanted to do to him, and for what was doing to him again, he was doing it to get out of my head.

Però..però Jared had shown so understanding ... maybe ... maybe he could tell him the truth. Maybe Jared would understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am <3 I hope you understand everything! xd Jensen is a soldier trained to kill together with Cas and now afraid that Jared will hate it when he finds out ... Meanwhile, Cas tries to convince him that he and Sam are soul mates ...
> 
> who knows who will choose Jensen?


	17. Monsters

Jensen was sleeping hugged at Jared, when, in the middle of the night you hear a loud bang, like a gunshot, or maybe an explosion, rimbombargli ears.

Jared moved frightened beneath him, in his arms, and Jensen held him tighter against him, to protect him.

"Jensen ... what ... what was it ???"

"Schhh is quiet ..."  
   
Jensen he went at the window to see, but saw nothing ... just a lot 'of smoke in the distance.

Jensen got dressed to go see, but readily Jared followed him.

"Jared, no ... it's better that you stay here."

"You think it's an attack, right? I can not stay here alone to fry like a caged lion ... let me go with you! "

"No, it's too dangerous!"  
   
Jared ran to get the gun from the drawer of his office desk.

"What the hell ... when you get that?" Jensen asked terrified.

"I am a living target ... what do you think, I'm leaving quietly around waiting for them to do me out? Just do not think of being abruptly carry around wherever he goes, "said Jared.

"It male..di these times we must always carry a weapon below." Said Jensen, and went out.  
   
   
   
   
   
All around, frightened people, indicates the Rope Course, near the Court.

With other people, they go to see.

It was a disaster. All around rubble, and homes and shops glass shattered.

It is 3:30 at night and a court wall is broken.

It seemed to be right in an explosion, which had caused a hole one meter in front of the boiler room door.  
   
Frightened people called the perhaps of the order, and firefighters, while Jared embraced Jensen said:

"It was an assassination attempt, Jensen?"

"I do not, Jared ... I do not really know ..."  
   
   
   
   
   
Inspector John arrived fairly early that night, but he was able to talk to Jared subito..appena saw them in front of them, just told her to go home and come to his office tomorrow, absolutely, and then saw him no more.  
   
Unfortunately, the two guys do not they rested a lot, were too shocked ... although Jensen did his best to help Jared sleep. It made him a relaxing chamomile, and after a while 'the young man fell asleep.

Jensen lay awake on the other hand, watching him sleep, and to wonder who could have been. He hoped that it was not ... Castiel Castiel would never do such a thing.

Or maybe he had hoped that it was him instead? At least he knew him, but as you defended by an invisible enemy?  
   
   
   
   
   
When later they woke up and went by the inspector, the inspector for the first time decided to speak to both, not to stay out Jensen.

Jensen would have to feel warmth and happiness, for the fact that he was finally involved in the life of Jared, and yet he felt only a cold.

He felt he did not deserve it, and, moreover, he felt it was his fault that this had happened.

Inspector John told them that by the grace of God at that time no one was near that area and there were no casualties, and they were not sure that it was an attack, but they were still investigating why the suspect had that the explosion could have been caused by a bomb.  
Why it was still unknown.  
   
Then John gave a bit 'of money in Jensen and asked if he could go and get some sandwiches and some sweet pastry in them, because he had not eaten, and supposed that they had done the same.

Jensen heads that was an excuse to remove him and to speak alone with Jared, but I was happy. The air was really becoming too heavy.

He was glad to get out.

 

*

"I thought by now you trusted of Jensen" said Jared once he was gone.

"Son, I do not trust either of myself today ... anyway ... let's get to the point ... it is not true that we do not know the reason of the attack ... or at least, not that we imagine. We believe that the attack because there was someone inside ratted on precious documents custodivamo right there, to the Tribunal. "

"Holy God ... what kind of documents?" Jared asked.

"Documents containing valuable information regarding our soldiers ... information that can enable us to detect or to recognize their nature from a distance," said John quiet.

"Sons of bitches ... and tu..come do you stay so calm after that ...."

"Take it easy, Jared. Fortunately they are very farsighted un'ispettore and I proceeded to hide the copies of these documents, to a safer place. "He Said John smiling.

Jared smiled. "Is there anything else I should know?"

"Si..i my experts are studying these notes trying to fabricate these devices that allow them to locate our soldiers ... are experimenting and some are ready, of course we do not know if it will work, but it's a step forward." He smiled John amiably.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

When she left the bakery, Jensen found himself in front of Castiel.

"Hello Jensen"

"You came here to enjoy the show ?? Or maybe to check if one of us was hurt ?? "growled Jensen, dodging.

Castiel took Jensen almost bodily and threw him against a wall.  
   
"I'm risking it all for you! **All! Do you think that the way to repay me ???** "

Jensen groaned for being slammed against the wall with force.

**"Doubting me ??"**

"No, man ... is that I wanted to be sure ... forgive me if I put you to the test," said Jensen.

Castiel let go, looking puzzled.

"Do not do it again ... ... these days it's terrible to think that they can not even rely on friends," he said. "However, I was not me, Jensen ..."  
   
"And have you any idea who might have been? Do you think they are looking for Jared? Perhaps they know ... maybe they have found that it is still alive. "

"I do not so..probabile ... what are you gonna do with him? If you keep doing the faithful boyfriend, will always be in danger ... you can not continue like this. "

"And what do you propose?"

"Go away. I'll help you escape, Jensen ... I can hide you better than you can imagine ... you can start a new life! I will make them believe that you are dead ... maybe already a little 'suspect him, not having heard from you. "

"Or maybe ... I can tell everything to Jared begin it here and my new life"

"Are you kidding? He did not never accept! "

"Listen, I heard speeches that made ok? The inspector knows about us ... the people like us, I mean ... Jared knows more or less what we are ... and vuole..aiutarci..me told "

"That said ?? Jensen, he talks like that because he does not know who you are! If he did change his mind very easily and would not think twice before you arrested! How can you be so naive ??? "

"Enough !!! Now I have decided and **nothing** will stop me. "

"You're going to do even my name?"

"Absolutely not ... but you can not stop me from doing my, friend."

 

 

 

*

  
That afternoon, Jared would hold an outdoor event to talk to people and try to reassure her after the attack that night.  
Jensen went to see him, and within him kept thinking that after that event he would tell Jared the whole truth.

  
"Ladies and gentlemen. I think all of you are woken up in the middle of the night from that horrible explosion ... I'm terribly sorry that your sleep has been troubled in this way. "  
Jared said.

  
It's really sweet and always so kind thought Jensen admiring and looking at him adoringly.

  
"I'm terribly sorry for this, I have no words to express my regret ... unfortunately I and some of my police friends I work with, we suspect who might be behind all of this, and is very focused organization ..."

  
But that takes? Why expose yourself in this way? Jensen thought amazed.

  
"Normal guys like you, ordinary people, taken up and trained to fight for years, and turned into soldiers ... .trasformati into ruthless killers killers ... I the beginning when I came to know of their existence, I felt sorrow and pity for these people I thought they were the victims ... but I was wrong ... the attack tonight is just one more confirmation to what we have long suspected, and I refused to believe ... "

  
_Jared, but what ... .._

  
"They are not the victims! They like to do what they do! They like to kill. They are war machines, and there is nothing human about them.

  
**Are monsters!** "Purposes to tell Jared, and Jensen stared at him with an expression immensely sad; on his last words were tears in his eyes and bit back to spill tears from her face.

  
" **And they can not be saved**!" Raged last Jared, unleashing the general applause, while unbeknownst to him, Jensen was gasping for his words.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The attack ... say that it is true ... xD I got some news that I read on the net in passing, and that happened in Venice ... I do not know when, but recently I think XD I hope you do not disturb the thing ... I thought it was cute that, as a turban, was able to enter a true story :))
> 
> In the next chapter befall other things ... I preferred to break it because the next things are very intense :))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter :)) The scene of Cas and Jensen and some phrases I think you have recognized in episode 5 x 18: D
> 
> Hellooooo you soon !!!


	18. make love with me

**Are monsters!** "He finished saying Jared, and Jensen stared at him with an expression immensely sad; on his last words were tears in his eyes and bit back to spill tears from her face.

"They can not be saved!"  
   
   
Jensen could still hear the words of Jared resound him ears. He knew he would not have due run away like that ... when Jared would have noticed, certainly it would be very worried.

He thought mentally and did not have a mobile phone to be traced to him, in case he was needed. Yeah ... but who knows if the killers were using cell phones?

And then what would be the point? Jared had to say goodbye to forever and in that case what good was to have a mobile phone?

Jensen was in a warehouse a bit 'desolate, at the time.

It had not been difficult to return home quickly and rummaging in the medicine bag, and then take refuge in the place which he had realized to remember for a while '.

In that warehouse we always went, a volta..era always kept open. Jensen could not remember what was going to do, but it was not important this time.

He could never do it at Jared's house. He would not shock him more than it should.

He did not think about how you would feel Jared when he discovered what he had done in his head ... Jared did not really loved him, hated him ... it's just that he was not yet fully conscious, so could not suffer for what he was really . A monster.

Not to mention that, by ending, he could not have done more harm to anyone. Other people would not have died or would suffer because of he.

"I deserve it." He thought Jensen, staring tablets in her hand, and the glass of water in the other.  
   
He was about to bring the pads in hand, when suddenly a mobile sound stopped him.

You can not ... he thought, pulling out his cell phone from his jacket pocket, watching the display with blurred vision by tears.  
Jared  
 

Do not answer ... do not answer ... he thought Jensen, but too desperately eager to hear his voice.

He decided to answer, but he tried to control the tone of his voice so as not to make him understand that she was crying.

"Jared?"

"Jensen, where the hell are you ???"

"How did you call me?"

"I forgot my second phone in your jacket pocket! And less male..altrimenti I could not call you ... but why did you disappear like that? I was thinking. "Jared said.

"Forgive me, I did not feel so good to me ... my head ... and I wanted to take a walk ..."

"Jensen ... ... are you crying? My God, what happened? "

"Never mind, do not worry, it's nothing ... bad thoughts." Jensen said, putting a hand over his eyes.

"Jensen, tell me where the fuck you are or come here immediately, you're making me really worry !!!"

"Quiet, puppy, now I'll be right with you."

"I hope so, and looks that count the minutes."  
   
   
   
Jensen still could not believe what he was doing and what was going to do to Jared ... he perhaps after he would feel better, but Jared? He could sentence him to such misery, without a shred of explanation?

No, death was not the solution ... ever.

With few words Jared pushed him to suicide and as many short, angry but very sweet, had saved him.  
   
Just as it did Sammy that day ... ..  
   
   
   
   
   
_*_

_Jensen was 20 years old. He was a nice guy, blond, tall, muscular. All the girls were going around ... but he had eyes only for Sammy._

_Sam, however, could not make love._

_There were other kisses you ... but other than that they did not go, because they considered a miracle if only the fact that they could kiss._

_Sam understood that a young guy like Jensen, could not remain chaste or a virgin for so long ... and he first did not want to submit to virginity and forced chastity, just because he loved him._

_Thus it was that with great effort, told Jensen that if he wanted to have sex with girls, could, and should not be kept for him._

_Earlier, Jensen was upset and protested. He would not betray him ... but then, the torment of not being able to stay together that way and the desire he felt more and grow in him when they were neighbors, he did give in._

_He accepted._  


_Sam seemed to take it well, but when Jensen made love for the first time with a girl, frowned much, hardly looked at him._

_Then the thing happened again, and suddenly Sam gunfire._  
  
_Jensen became so aware of how Sam had probably suffered because of him, and desperately asked for forgiveness from the empty ... because Sam was gone._

_She begged him to come back, but Sam never returned._

_Jensen did not comprehend that he had left for good, because of something that he himself had led him to do._  
  
_"You said to me !!!! You've pushed us you !!! "shouted._

 

_Three months went by during which Jensen try to start over, to feel better, to make a new life forgetting Sam, but it was getting worse.  
Inwardly always he hoped to come back._

_  
Suddenly he could not take it anymore._

_  
He waited to be alone in the house, and tied a noose to a beam in the attic. He already had the knot around his neck, and was about to tighten, with tears streaming down his face down._

_  
"Jensen, no !!!!"_

_  
Jensen almost threatened to really choke with rope, when you hear that voice._

_  
Before him, Sam looked at him aghast, eyes wide._

__  
Sam walked over to him slowly and said: "It's all right, Jensen ... are qui.. I will not go more, i promise, but now take off that noose from the neck, please."  
"Sam ... I'm afraid ..." said Jensen still, touching the noose ... momentarily forgetting that movimentoi had to do to survive.

 __  
"Are you ... Please fermo..ti ... now I come to you, but you do not move, okay? Promise! "  
"Ok ..." said Jensen.

_  
Jensen was standing on the chair, the noose around his neck was not tight, but ... but fear had immobilized Jensen. Sam with a strength she did not think to have, climb on the chair with him, approached him, and very, very cautelamente, removed via the noose from his neck._

_  
Sam felt a great relief when pervaderlo lifted the noose and this left the Jensen's neck._

_  
He felt his neck as if to make sure she was all right, that did not damage. Jensen instead kept looking at him as if he were watching a miracle._

__  
"Sammy." He said.  
"Sc-we go from here." Sam said.  


 

_They got out and hugged strong._

_  
"I would beat you for what doing you ... for what you were going to do!" Cried Sam._

__  
He could do it? Jensen had a vague memory of a time that Sam had given him a slap ... feeling a hint of pain immediately disappeared. He wonder if he could really make him.  
"I missed you so much" Jensen sighed.

_  
"You too!"_

_  
"Where have you been? Why did you leave me? "_

_  
"Elsewhere ... I do not know ... I know I was so angry ... so forgive me ..."_

_  
"Forgive you, I can not go back, but I swear that I will never be of anyone ... no donna..e no man ... the first it was you that I'm in love. with nobody else man I'll ever made love, if I can not do that with you, I promise! "_

_  
And they kissed._

_  
"Listen, stupid ... let's take that crap before you get your mother and if you know it, okay?" Sam told him._

__  
"Promise me you'll never leave me again!"  
"I promise you!"

 

Jensen before leaving the warehouse to return to Jared, took care to throw away those damn pills.

 

*

When Jensen returned at Jared, it was already 17:00 pm. They talked and talked and talked. They did not speak of the secret, indeed, of all the secrets that Jensen kept him hidden. They talked of nothing else.

Jared confided in Jensen on yearning that sometimes his life, his past, seemed to weigh on him a ton ... of the violence that often self inflicted for not doing so weigh the other, the efforts he made to be, however, a good man, despite she'd been through.

Her loneliness, fear that no one would ever want, it would be never loved because everyone would have been afraid to be near him.

The distressing nightmares that he often did at night.

He had always wanted a big brother to protect him and loved him and chase away the nightmares away.

He spoke of the affection he felt for the inspector, who was like a father to him, and had gone to replace the affection that his real parents were not able to give him.

Jared sometimes wondered if they would be able to live.

Sometimes the family was not only those who had your own blood.

And then he asked forgiveness. To forgive him for doing so enter into his life and in that shit that was on him, and that he should be stronger, and send him away to protect him, but he could not, because he was starting to have feelings for him.  
   
"When I saw you disappear like that, today, I was afraid you were running away from me." Jared said.

"Do not even think about it. We just ... had a moment of collapse ... last night we suffered an attack ... there were no pensando..ecco..ma ...

"I can not let go more you, Jensen." Jared said to him, touching his chin, and Jensen trembled with love and excitement to that phrase, just before Jared kissed him.  
   
Jared did not know that he had just saved from committing an act that would destroy them both, and for this, because he had saved without even knowing it, Jensen loved him more.  
   
   
   
*

Jensen had not changed his mind. He still thought he had to leave Jared, to save him ... save him from those cruel men, and even save it from him. Only, he would find a way to do it, and to tell him tomorrow.

He did not know that Jared had other plans.

When they returned from the romantic dinner at the restaurant with fish, Jared surprised him, starting to undress in a way that implied his intentions.

"Jared what are you ...?"

"I want to be yours, Jensen. I feel ready. "

"W-wait ... I do not think you're ready ... you're still upset about what happened, and ..."

"Precisely for this reason, Jensen ... we respond to death with life"

"Jared, I will not take advantage of you."  
   
Jared moved closer to Jensen, and doing so, the purpose of undress completely ... then touched his chest with his fingers.

"I want you like I've never desired any woman, and I want my first time to be with you. Only with you!"

 

_the first it was you that I'm in love. with nobody else man I'll ever made love, if I can not do that with you, I promise! "_

 

Jensen looked at him open-mouthed. Jared was naked in front of him, and he was offering with so much love, and it was so sweet. He wanted it. Learn to want it even more than you would like.

Uncontrollably, she found herself stroking the shoulders, chest, everywhere ... up to go down with his hand lower and lower.

Jared arched beneath him, and reclined her head, while Jensen kissed him on the neck.

They finished embraced. And Jared began to unbutton his shirt and Jensen to unbutton his jeans.  
   
They lay on the bed, naked now both.  
   
Jensen purposes lying over Jared, who encircled happy. Jensen could not get out of the feeling that he was his murderess in a sense, one who would hurt him.

He sensed that Jared was not rather scared of him, or rather, loved him and wanted him.

This thing, albeit unhealthy, excited him.

It excited him to know you have this power. It excited him know that Jared should have been terrified of him, run away from him, and yet he loved him, wanted him, wanted him.

And he loved too.  
   
He began to leave a trail of burning kisses on his chest, and to fall gradually. Every kiss a missed shot.

He went back to kiss him on the mouth eagerly. The kiss that he wanted to give him that day which put him safely out of the lifeboat ... .last kiss that did not dare to give him.

Perhaps because he wanted to pretend that this was not the last time he'd see them.  
   
Jensen kissed him on the neck. He adored the Jared skin. So soft and warm.

"Oh, Jensen ... you make me crazy ... you make me feel ... .alive !!" Jared told in ecstasy.  
 

These words hurt Jensen, inside she said:

Stop, stop, do not do this to him.

His hands, however, continued to stroke it, to go down on her belly, and groin.  
   
"Jared ...you are ... wonderful .." Jensen said, and meant it.

Only with Sam had felt a similar sense of belonging and possessiveness.

He believed that he would never be tried again.

He wanted it to be his. He wanted it to be his forever, completely his.

But this was not possible.

He was his enemy.

"Jared ..." kept muttering under him while Jared moaned.

"I want you inside me." whispered Jared.  
   
Jensen could not wait any longer. He pushed inside him, calmly, in spite of the desire he felt growing within him stronger.

It was the total ecstasy. The most intoxicating pleasure. The fireworks and stars. The sweetest love.

Jared panted under him and Jensen could only think that he did not want to hurt him.

It will not hurt you kept thinking Jensen, as he pushed plan, but with passion.

"God ... .Jensen ... .si, so ... do not stop ... .." Jared gasped.  
   
Their bodies incastravano so well with each other. It was as if they were just born for this.

"Ah - ah - ahhhh" Jared moaned, together with Jensen. Their moans in sync.  
   
They were pushed to the last, when they were together.  
 

Jared turned to him softly. The sweaty and red-faced.

Even Jensen smiled. Jared realized that trembled and hugged him, and Jensen that gesture he softened and kissed him again.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am ^^ I know, the chapter is not translated very well but I hope you understand what happens anyway! Jensen wanted to commit suicide in despair, but Jared phoned him at that time without knowing it, saved him <3 and Jensen remembered that the same thing had also made Sam years ago <33333
> 
> Now Jensen has made love with Jared. I believe that the next chapter will be very poignant :)


	19. Sam ... desperate soul

_I not really know quando'è started with Jensen._

  
_Maybe it started when I was three ... .Jensen was walking near a river. he and his parents had gone to sunbathe. That day he was bored and walked away a bit '._  
_It was there that we met._

  
_I was frightened. I did not know where I was, and I was cold. A lot of cold._

  
_Jensen came up to me and looked at me better._  
_"baby, you missed?"_

  
_"I do not know." I replied._  
_I had a dirty face with mud and tears, and he me the c with a tissue._

 

_Even I was terrified._

_I do not know how can I remember this thing, because I was so small ... but maybe the first meeting with Jensen was so special ... I could not forget it._

_I returned that evening. Jensen was already in her bed, and he could not get to sleep. Suddenly I come back, like a naughty little kid, and again in tears._

_"Help me ... I never know where I am." I tell him._

_Even Jensen's eyes were moist. I realize only later._

_"A bad dream. But are you to console now. Come here. "He said. I walked into his bedroom, and let him hug and cuddle me to make me sleep again._

_Maybe he even sang a song. "Hey Jude."_

 

_I love Jensen ... .so it seems strange that an entity like me, can love and be loved in return ... but I will try to explain it, trying not stutter._

_I will try to explain what is for me Jensen._  
_Have you ever wanted to do ... as part of something bigger? Knowing that ... someone's property and at the same time be happy?_

_Knowledge that they belong completely and totally to someone, only that someone, is one of the most beautiful feelings that may exist._

_And for me it was so._

_I as I can remember, I had nothing. Nothing except Jensen. I had a life, I had a life that I could remember at least._

_Where I went when I disappeared? I do not know. I never knew._

_But I know that I always came back to him._

_People wait for a lifetime the signal that have met the right person. The person destined to be together with them, waiting for a lifetime and never find it or find the signal._

_Instead I will not ... .I knew exactly is destined to Jensen ... because otherwise I would always come back to him? Because only he could see me, hear me, touch me, talk to me, love me?_

_And you know what? It has always been reciprocated it._

_Yes, because Jensen felt and felt my own sense of belonging._

_He understood that I was his, only his, and Jensen has not ever wanted was totally belong to someone, and that someone belonged to him forever._

_An exclusive relationship. And with me he had it._  
  
_Love was not budgeted. We grew up pretty much together, we could be like brothers._

_But it was not so. For neither._

 

_Jensen tray to have a life outside of me, so many times I pushed, because he not isolated himself for my fault ... he found excuses ... he said that I was a child, she could not leave me alone, but I knew that sometimes where I disappeared for hours, he stood still staring into space, waiting for me to come back, often counting the minutes._

_Jensen could have with me what he had always wanted._

_Depth, love, spirituality._

_A love that does not ask anything in return. A love that could not be seen by anyone, and thus totally immune from criticism, prejudices, and vice versa at all influenced by positive comments and compliments from friends and family._

_You know, often people are influenced by what their friends and relatives say their partners. They end up seeing her like them, even if they pretend that it is not so. If their partners are well regarded in fact, there is more likelihood that the relationship continues or it turning into a marriage. Conversely, if the partners are hated, there is more chance that the relationship will end tragically._  
  
_Jensen was always trying to talk as little as possible about me with others. One day we argued for this. I reproached him to think he was crazy, he said he did not think, I just did not want to take me away from him somehow._  
  
  
  
  
_Jensen was always afraid that I one day I would leave and I would have left alone._

_He thought I was an imaginary friend, I was aware ... then isolated himself on purpose, thinking that if it was really so, if left alone, there were not more likely that I left. At the time he was 14 years old._

_"What you're saying is absurd!" I said to him one day. We were in the schoolyard._

_"I do not care." He answered._

_"Jens ... if indeed I do not exist, sooner or later I will have to leave you ... and you can not do anything!" I said sadly._

_"You did not understand ... I do not exist if you're not there too!" he said, wrong-foot_  
_me lots._

 

_Obsession. Obsession. Obsession. Obsession that became love._

_I loved Jensen because I knew I was destined for him. I loved him because he loved me. I loved him because he could choose to love someone else ... but he loved me. He loved only me._

_I loved him because he was my reference. My standpoint. The only thing in my life that mattered, and from which I kept coming back. The only thing that I would miss even knowing the hidden part of me, if ever I had one._

_And I loved him because I realized I did not want to know the other party if this meant separating from him._

_I loved him because ever since I saw under that bridge, I never gave up._

_He never ceased to take care of me._  
  
_I love him because not even know the great love, and I figured the kids._

_But he was just a child when he met me, and from the first time you made a commitment never to abandon._  
_Small children are forgotten once the first friends ... when they grow up they do not remember them ... Jensen could make me disappear in a flash, entering the age of puberty._

_Could have decided you want to date someone that everyone could see, someone to be presented._

_The children quickly tire of imaginary friends._

_Not him. He always expected. Always._  


_I've never felt so ... .loved .. I know it sounds counterintuitive ... unless I have a life outside of Jensen, I can not say to be able to make comparisons ... but this is the strange thing ... while not having them, I know not I wish to have. I know that he's the one I want next to me ... I would not want anyone else!_

 

 

 

_We will stay together forever. Always. And in the meantime we grew._

  
_We will grow and our bodies changed. I always slept in the Jensen bed, but can not deny that sometimes I felt a bit 'of embarrassment._  
_It was not like when we were kids. jensen needed sometimes privacy. Like all males, sometimes touching. I was there and could not._

  
_He felt warm, but remain in their underwear in the bed with me seemed embarrassing._  
_And as jensen grew, I noticed how beautiful and strong became._

  
_His arms were strong and muscular. I did feel the texture beneath my fingers._  
_And he liked that I touched._

  
_I realized how I was smiling._

  
_I began to realize that something was changing, from the smiles that was when I touched or when incrociavamo gaze._  
_He had me always smile, but in the way he did recently._

  
_When I rested my hand on his leg, feeling a touch more refined and warmer._  
_When you touched my neck, it looked like he was doing me a caress._

  
_Our eyes tended to cross a bit 'too often ..._  
_Her lips ended up a bit 'too often close to my cheek._

  
_And I noticed how many times was lost staring at my lips ..._

  
_I was thirteen, and Jensen would never have taken advantage of what has so far considered as his fratelino ... unless I had not taken the situation in hand ..._  
_I admit I have found an excuse to kiss him ..._

  
_But I do not expect her sweet statement._  
_That was just unexpected._

  
_"I love you" and I untied them just like butter._

  
_I kissed him, because I knew that was what he wanted, too._

  
_And it was wonderful when jensen returned, holding a hand over her face and guiding the kiss him._  
_**"Yes, kiss me, Jensen."** I thought._

 

_We could touch us and slept always embraced but I knew I could have also a so ... intimate contact. Our tongues met and I have not felt any difference._  
_Jensen did not withdraw upset because he heard a tongue of paper, plastic, or clear ... even rubber. Rather!_  
_It was as if matter and antimatter - that would be me - they found a way to love each other._

  
_And Jensen's mouth was ... extraordinary. Jensen is a great kisser. Kisses wonderfully. It is passionate, sweet, romantic._  
_When we detach, jensen is still smiling and I'm so happy ... but it does not last long ..._

  
_Immediately I take to shake, and I'm terrified of dying._  
_It was like having a panic attack._

  
_I was very ill and jensen it never stopped begging me for forgiveness. Poor thing, how much you are scared that time, believing it was killing me._  
_He believed that he had succeeded to calm down, saying that he would not kiss me again, because I was so terrified, that the promise I calmed down._

  
_In fact it was so, but not in the way he thought of him. Terrified me so much with that promise, I calmed down, just to reassure him that there was no need to go that far._  
_Why, that kiss ... ..cavolo ne ... I took another thousand so._

  
_Jensen, however, was not of the same opinion._

  
_Jensen did not want to kiss me from that moment. He was afraid that the crisis would ricapitata and would not hurt me. Of course, even the memory of that pain, managed to make me forget the pleasure of his lips._

  
_Ok, my body was shaking as if I had crossed the electricity ... but it did not last long, right? Heck, I wanted to suffer the lips of Jensen. I wanted to suffer their flavor._  
_I was certain that it would no longer ricapitato ... and if you would ricapitato ... well I could bear it ... .and perhaps with time I would almost seemed not to hear anything._  
_To change his mind about kissing Jensen, it was not difficult. We were always together, and I constantly provocavo, when we were lying on the bed._

  
_Sometimes stealing kisses to mold when we walked ... Jensen pretended to be angry, but really appreciated._

  
_I felt sometimes a mild shock to those contacts, but then disappeared._  
_Jensen wanted my kisses actually, so it's not that he could send me away firmly._

  
_His attempts were getting weaker._

  
_Sometimes it seemed to harass him, and if I had not known that he wanted it, I would have really thought._  
_I so much wanted, then you do not feel even more pain._

  
_Only a strange feeling to vibrate. Vibrate at the top._  
_And Jensen felt the same._  
_When we kissed, we vibrated._

  
_And when we were kissing with tongue, it was like flying._  
_"You make me see heaven." He told me once._

 

_Jensen was different from other boys, ok?_

_It was not as if he's frenzy ... er ... that._

_Ok, maybe you ... but he loved me._

_He would never betray me._

_He wanted to keep for me, but at the same time did not want to make love with me._

_He did not know what could have happened._

_No one knew what I was actually me ... a ghost, an entity ... maybe if we had made love, he would have killed me._

_I did not believe it, but Jensen._

_We continued to kiss, but he did not go further._

_I was aware that this situation could not go on for long._

_Jensen was a beautiful boy ... the girls were going back._

_I could not stand the day that would have betrayed me, why not take it anymore._

_So, I decided to do that earlier._

_I told him that he could go to bed with the girls._

_He was furious and reproached me not to love him._

_Typical of Jensen._

_I think it was the first and only slap that I gave him in my life - no life._  
  
_Eventually so many whining at all, because then after he accepted._

_I already knew that he would accept, then why do so many scenes? Accept now and goodnight._

_Indeed, BETTER, he accepts immediately and go to fuck!_

_I'm sorry. I'm so, ok?_

_I, had they told him he could do it ..._

_But I did not know how I would feel._  
  
_When he came home that night and I already knew what he had done ... do not I do not get angry. I pretended nothing but pretended that nothing was wrong, and maceravo of anger._

_The more I tried not to show me angry and seething. My non - boiling blood._

_I wanted to beat him until he lost consciousness._

_How dare you betray me, motherfucker?_  
  
_The thing happened, and I did not do more._

_I was not really gone away. It was still there, even if the moments of darkness in which I no longer knew where I finished, persistent continued._

_I was still there, but I could not forgive him._

 

_Perhaps for the first time, I wanted to get rid of this tie that felt like too painful and suffocating at the time._

_I had not reckoned, however, how strong were our feelings._

_so present in spite of everything._

_Jensen attempted suicide and I was so shocked that I came into the open._

_I had to stop him._

_Li I really realized how I was not willing to lose._

_Li I really became aware of what he was not willing to lose me. To let me go._

_Li realized how much he loved me and how much I loved him._  
  
  
  
  
_Maybe not. perhaps it was not the moment when Jensen attempted suicide, I realized how I loved him._

_No, that was the moment when I realized how much he loved me._

_But only when I decided to make love with him, risking everything, I realized how much I loved him._  
  
_Jensen never went with anyone else. He could not erase the experiences he had, but he promised me that he would never be with a man, if he could not do it with me._

_He kept that promise._

_Obviously Jared could not say that the famous experiences he had had with the boys, had had with me!_  
  
  
  
_Jensen was so happy that I came back, which forced his resistance was not as difficult as it was for the matter of kisses._

_Almost I feel like a monster for having taken advantage of that weakness._

_It's just that I wanted it so much. I wanted to belong. I wanted it to be mine and I wanted him to hear me his. Completely._

_I knew he wanted the same thing and it drove me crazy. He did not reason._

_I also knew that was crazy about my scent, and I used to play on this. The kissed her in a sensual neck, when we were on the bed._

_He did not look at me or tried not to do it._

_But I knew I could not resist me._  
  
  
_Eventually, after a lot 'of provocation, he began to give way. Jensen could not resist my kisses on the neck._

_It can be a pain when you want someone._

_One day, while I was kissing her neck, she rolled her head, to reverse the movements, and took him to kiss his neck, trying to dampen the excitement._

_I was in ecstasy. The desire that both felt it was too exciting._

_Too much._

 

_That day, the patterns were broken._

_The rules, logic, rationality ... all to hell._

_Jensen kissed my neck and clawed at my shirt, as if to cling to essa.mi squeezed him, and after a few minutes we undressed._

_"Sam ... Sam ... .Sam ..." repeated like a litany, as he filled my mouth with wet kisses._

_"Ahhh." I groaned, holding his head, as he left me a trail of hot kisses on his chest._  
  
_I looked at him and saw on his face an expression guilty, but also burning with desire._

_I kissed him softly, encouraging._

_I opened my legs, pulling me and hugging me._

_Our nudity clashing, excited._  
  
  
_We made love. And the pain came together with the pleasure._

_The pleasure came from the lower layers of me, and the pain from the upper layers._

_The head ... god, I felt as if I it split in two._

_At the same time, I felt an intoxicating pleasure at the point where Jensen was pushing into me._

_He did not push too hard, because it was the first time for both, with a guy ... and this allowed me to fully enjoy._

_He applied to both._

_Jensen was concerned that I not too bad, but when he saw that I was in pain, almost stopped._

_"No ... more ..."_

_"It's happening something .." Jensen objected, startled._

_I motioned for him with your hand, wait._

_He waited, frightened._

_I took a deep breath and then told him to continue._  
  
_After a while, the orgasm caught us both at the same time. Moment, however, we cried._

_It was very embarrassing. For both._

_And then it became triste..perchè after a few minutes we had finished making love, I  disappeared again._

_For hours._

 

 

 

_I can only imagine the state of anxiety in which leaves the poor Jensen, my love, but it was not my fault. Sex with Jensen had exhausted me. Maybe it weakened._  
_But then I went back._

  
_Jensen hugged me desperate, while I whispered, stroking his hair:_  
_"Hey, I told you to always come back to you."_

  
_Obviously, the situation threatened to repeat itself like a vicious circle. Jensen who again did not want to make love to me._  
_I do that after a while ', very little indeed to tell the truth, in spite of unpleasant memories of head split into two, already beginning to go to the withdrawal of his body inside mine._

  
_I knew he was in the same situation but admit it would make him feel a monster, so he did not say._  
_Maybe I was the monster, he would be so explained my curse to disappear and reappear and not have my life._  
_The game was repeated provocations. I that I lie alongside Jensen on the bed. I kiss him gently, and then I put a hand inside his jeans ..._  
_He who does not move. It closes only the eyes._

  
_I do not I stop._  
_I take off and climb astride._

  
_He caresses me. Cede. I fore._

  
_But it is a pleasant time rollover._  
_I laugh. I'm happy. I'm happy._

  
_We kiss and make love like two desperate lovers, with whom you can not love each other, but they do the same._  
_Jensen soon learns the points that make me crazy. The kisses on the neck, and when I touched my nipples and nibbles._

  
_I will learn who is ecstatic when I stroke the inner thighs, and when they caress between his legs, and with the tip of the tongue I tease right there._  
_I know that comes off like he was going to have an orgasm, when they are more enterprising and have that look that he calls erotic and illegal._  
_I learn quickly that ours is not just sex, but love. Jensen hugs me and hugs me when we make love, and looking at me like I was the most precious thing there is everything to me ..._

  
_And I want to be all things to him._

  
_I always had the impression that my essence would break, when we were making love ... my head was always hurt, but I could not stop. I did not want to._  
_And then eventually the pain purposes._

  
_The feeling of getting lost, to get lost, but I was always ... I concentrated on Jensen. with him I broke me, but at the same time, I came with him whole._

_Not we parted not even when  Jensen became a soldier ...  ..._  
_I was the next ... I consoled him ... I do not even abandoned them._  
_But now ..._  
_I do not understand ... we're meant to be together ... can not throw it all away for one that has known only yesterday ..._

  
_You had to kill him. Do not fall in love, fuck._

  
_Because? Because?_

  
_Why, Jensen? Why are you doing this to us? "_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have arrived at the end ..... I do not know how you ever really xd, am suffering with you a little bit for all, but especially for Sam xD I'm sorry it could not immediately unravel its mystery ha ha
> 
> We anticipate that in the next chapter is already Jared point of view! Anyway sorry for the many inaccuracies in chapter ... it's hard to write everything from the perspective of someone who does not exist or does not have its own life, or does not remember it XD


	20. Jared...a romantic soul

_I have never been able to get attached me to someone._

_Anyone was a potential person who would put in danger._

_Anyone was a potential enemy that he wanted to do the my skin._

_Anyone was a potential person who once found out who I was and who I was dealing with, he would have abandoned me ... .._

_Sure, I've had friends and also of girls ... but everyone loves and casual friendships ... sometimes lasted the time of a summer. Sometimes a little 'more ... but not durable._   
  
  
_When I met for the first time Jensen, I had no idea that would happen in the water ..._

_The water ... the breath that gives life ..._

_Or death._

_It's funny to think that our first match is derived from a rescue._

_I can say that I I saved his life._

_The first words they have been spoken: "No! I'll sink you! "_

_I'll sink said the heavenly voice, that of an angel!_

_Is it possible? Jensen thought to make me sink, and did not understand that instead he was saving me!_

_The moment when I have saved and the time when I met him, it was time that I came back to live!_

_When the rescue were going to get there, and I was going to pass, Jensen was talking to me, telling me to breathe slowly, supported me, and his arms and his voice tranquillizzato..sono I have been the pretext to prevent me not to faint._

_However, he passed out, and when I tried to talk to him again, did not remember even me..peggio, he was scared! I could not bear that he was afraid of me, he wanted to get away._

_I was wounded._   
  
_When he came to himself, he remembered me, but not the nervous breakdown he had had ... we joked and laughed like children, friends, brothers ... as if we had known a life._

_I like his humor, his sweet smile, her eyes light up while looking at me._

_It's funny and it also seems good and sweet._

_The fact that we are both without memory, does not bother me. Indeed, I find it an added value ... another thing we have in common._   
  
_I invite him to my home ..le jokes a bit 'of a sexual nature makes me uncomfortable, but basically I enjoy ... I want to hear more._   
  
_He is amazed that i welcome in my house, without even knowing who he is. It could be anyone, he says. I tell him that I think it's a good person, even for me to leave this kind of feelings. I want you to be mine alone, for a while '... and then maybe I will not get attached._   
  
_Too late for that. Jensen ends up in my bed. I can hardly believe averglielo asked .._

_"Do you want to ... come and sleep there with me?"_

_Thankfully he did not refuse._

_"I do not think you should be alone tonight._

_I do not think you should be alone ever again._   
  
  
_We sleep hugged and cabbage! I have never felt better._

_My back and my whole body was completely relaxed, and they cried when they parted from him._

_I wanted to stay in that bed and cuddle maybe._

_Stroke and ruffle his hair ... but we did not know either._

_It was better if I went out of that bed instead and I saved a decidedly embarrassing awakening._

_It would have been happier if his wake he would find a nice breakfast._

_I was happy to prepare it for him._

_I was hoping that there would be others._

_Unfortunately I can not even prepare the first, I faint._   
  
  
  
_When I wake up in the hospital, the first thing I see was Jensen, the first thing I hear, in addition to its voice, is its embrace._

_And I love it. I love his embrace. So soft, protective ... just like tonight ... and I already feel that he could not let go ever again._   
  
  
_When I talk to the inspector and tells me to have reservations about Jensen, I react badly and almost cry in front of Jensen ... inspector told that I need to have friends, but in reality I knew I needed someone to love ... it's just that I did not want to admit it to myself._   
  
  
_I told a few people of my story, all gone. Jensen was the only one who'd suffered so much, however, if it were gone. The only one I really fancied that does not disappear._

_For this I had to protect him. I tried to send him away because I had the impression that if we could not now, I was still in time, then I would not have done any more._

_But he hugs me._

_He asks me if I am a son unico..quasi to want to replace the presence of a brother to me._

_Oh, Jensen, you're more. Much more._   
  
  
_"I do not know, I ... maybe because in my life I have never been able to keep anything ... I seemed to see me slip away things and I could not do anything to hold them back, they went away from me like ... like ghosts ..."_

_"God, I do not know why I'm telling these things ..." I say, continuing to feel ridiculous._   
  
_It was true, in my life I have always seen things sooner or later go away ... that's why I never allowed anyone to love deeply. I was afraid of rimanerne crushed._   
  
  
_When I ask Sammy, I imagine that for him must be very important, and I feel jealous. Here, then I saw it because I never become attached to anyone?_

_I can not ever get attached to anyone. They are morbid. Morbid._

_And terribly jealous._

_But I understand that does not want to talk about it because the memory saddens him and perhaps has not even recovered all the memories ... so do not insist, then I do not really think memories of him._

_I want you to think at me._

 

_"Like this?" I ask, alluding to Venice. The I touch her hand, and immediately I fear that you would portrait, but it does not._

_He just says, "Yes."_

_What do you want me to understand, Jensen? Please, if you do not feel the same way I do not delude myself. Leave me now. Please._   
  
  
  
  
_"Maybe we should stop" Jared said, looking at the dark water and clear in front of them._

  
_"But we stopped," he said._

_"I ... I feel dizzy .." I replied._

_I do not even have time to turn around that he kissing me._

_He kisses me saying my name._

_You, do it again ... even my name .._

_... But after the first kiss. Kiss Me._

_God, her lips are so soft, fleshy, silky ... they fit so well on my._

_Her face fits so well on my ._

_They seem to be made for this purpose._   
  
_I try to remove him, to protect him from me, but I can not! I am already too taken from him, and when he returns home, by myself, I can not send him away._

_I want to just go back to bed. With him._   
  
  
  
_The awakening was the awakening that I wanted from day one that we slept together._

_Neither had most shame in sleep embraced, and not lesinavamo kisses, caresses and cuddles._

_he fondled me like I was the most precious thing on earth._

_And I loved the way I was holding the fianchi..la schiena..e attracted me to him._

_So thoughtful and possessive._

_Jensen was perfect. Sweet but erotic, he made me feel loved and at the same time desired._

_He wanted to make love with me, he could not hide it._

_Me too. I, too, Jensen._

_I would have done that morning, but I foolishly let go even a bit 'of time._

_I had to concentrate, I had to help me calm down and above all allow my feelings to travel slower, because so fast as they were doing, made me dizzy._

_It was like being on a runaway roller coaster._   
  
  
  
_The two times that I worried a lot, have been to the hospital when Jensen purposes because of a plank cadutagli in the head, which caused him to fall into the river._

_I was afraid of losing it, just as when he ran that way from my second event._

_The first time I was afraid to die, the second time I was afraid that he wanted to run away from me._

_I could not let him go, not after he confessed to me to be starting to have feelings for me, you understand?_

_I was not able!_

_Feelings! Oh, Jensen, I already love you! Love me too, I wanted to tell him._

_Forget Sammy, lets any woman you've ever had._

_Forget them. Forget them all! just think of me!_

_I wanted it to be mine in any way possible. I wanted to belong. Feel his warm body against mine._

_I wanted to give my heat and take her._

_I wanted him to kiss me and kisses me might give her love._

_I wanted that he take my love!_

_I wanted to take it all. All._   


  
_We made love and how they touched me, the way he looked at me, the way he kissed me ... the way he held me tight ... .as if I belonged always ..._

_Like we were soul mates._   


_I can not let you go._


	21. Sex unrestrained and uncontrollable passion

Jensen woke up no longer feeling Jared's body against him. He waved a hand to find him, groping, without result. He snorted.

Not far away you hear a chuckle. Open your eyes.

"Looking for me?" Jared asked.

Before him, Jared laughed, watching him. He had even unbuttoned shirt. He was naked from the waist down. He turned, giving him a nice overview of her ass as he tried the underwear in her drawer.

Jensen gave him a pat on the butt, and Jared laughed.

"Do you want to provoke me?" She asked, smiling.

"Quiet, Godzilla..i have made myself just taken a shower," said Jared, giving him a kiss on the lips.

"If you called me, we do it together," said Jensen on his lips.

"Unfortunately I have an appointment with the ispettore..nay, is already late so much." She told Jared.

"And why?" He asked mischievous. "Too tired?"

"Actually, I'm awake for a while '... but I liked watching you were sleeping," she said gently.  
   
After this sentence, Jensen took Jared for life and drew back to himself.

"Jensen, I'm late" she repeated Jared softly, stroking his hair.

"You can not tell me certain things and pretend that remains still" Jensen said, tilting her head up.

Jared gave him another kiss and said, "I can not wait to return ... what we started tonight ... but now I have to go," she said.

Jensen groaned, but let him go.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen did not know what to do. He had imagined a different morning. He had imagined that he and Jared were still in bed cuddling all morning.

Maybe they would not necessarily still make love, but still would have remained all morning to cudding each other.

No, wait ... maybe by you, they still made love, and then they would have remained for the remainder of the morning to cuddle in bed ...

Expects, however, before they would make a romantic breakfast ... maybe Jared would prepared for him ... he thought, smiling.

Damn, if he had not slept much, and if it were not so sleepy, he could prepare him before Jared was awake!

Mentally said that he would think to remedy.

Then he remembered that he along with Jared should not really be there, and you feel a pang at the thought ....  
 

  
It remained several minutes mulling good and to think, and to think even Sam ... had ... had betrayed him with Jared?

The thought was so scorching hot and it hurts. What would you think of him?

Why had he done? There had never been anyone in front of Sam. Jensen has never wanted anyone altro..poi arrived Jared, and has shocked so deeply that ....

And Sam ... .Sam ... he miss it, it's just that when she was with Jared seemed not to hear her, and that she could not understand it ... he did not understand why. Maybe he was no longer in love anymore?

 

 

After several more minutes, he decided to go into the kitchen to drink a little 'milk. His head was so full of thoughts that overlapped and contradicted each other, which seemed not to understand anything. He had to think, to understand ...

But when he reached the kitchen, almost he jumped, just being in front of Jared, who was looking threatening.

"JARED! You made me scare ... but when you are come back ??? "he asked.

He shook his head and replied cold. "Do not Jared. Better to try again "

Jensen stared. "SAM!"

Sam gave a tight smile, very cold.  
 

 

"It makes me strange that you still remember my name ..." he said.

Jensen was looking at him now with an expression incredibly sad.  
   
"Considering that ... with your new little friend ... you're looking at the future!" Scandi the words properly.

"You ... .you ..."

"Oh, si..lo know ... I know how you two were giving to do last night, as wild horses .." Sam said dismissively, without looking at him.

Jensen said nothing.

 

  
"Look at you! You can not even justify yourself! You make me sick! "he said, approaching.

Jensen did not answer.  
   
Sam moved closer still and said: "It is well with him, but know that io..non'll never give you peace ... I shall reserve an eternity of suffering ... is because when you die, you will pursue them even ... you do not rid you never me, "she said.

Jensen stared at him intently, then grabbed his face with both hands, and kissed him.

Sam was not expecting it and was shocked. He had come back to tell him that he hated him, to tell him he would suffer and would pay ... did not think he would react like that.

He made a feeble attempt to escape the kiss, but his hands ended up just to keep his elbows, which were implants, because his hands were still on her face.  
   
Sam kissed her, who became immediately buff. She pulled away just a little to Jensen, to secure it with a confused and amazed, then resumed kissing.

 

It was too long since that they did not kiss more and Sam had missed this, strong enough to feel bad. He perceived and felt that Jensen also missed this. Jensen also wanted him back. Now perhaps more than before. he felt from like kisses  
   
In an instant, all his purposes to make him suffer, became desert sand that the wind scattered on.

Sam hated not really Jensen. she loved him. He could not hate him. He could not really want him to suffer.  
 

 

He picked him up, and Jensen did not interrupt the contact with his lips, and without thinking, took him to the room and then directly onto the bed.

They ended up on the bed without stopping to kiss, but suddenly Jensen said breathlessly:

 

"No ... on the bed of Jared..no ... please ..."  
   
Sam stared at him. He might have to send him to hell after quell'ennesima exit, but he loved him and did not want he hurt.

"Okay ..." he said only. He took it back in his arms and carried him back on the couch in the living room, and then followed him.

 

Did not have time to support Jensen on the couch, he grabbed him again.

She kissed him as if she could stop breathing, if she stopped.  
   
You ... I knew you loved me still, Jensen ... Sam thought, as he undid his shirt and rested on the couch.

Shirt, like everything about him, was invisible and incorporeal to all except Jensen.

 

 

He then straddled over Jensen, who buried his head on his chest, leaving him hot kisses, and making Sam sigh of pleasure.

"Yes. I knew you loved me still. No one will ever divide us. " said Sam, groaning, and pulling her hair.  
 

He then took off his jeans and stripped even Jensen. She wanted to make love with him. Immediately.  
   
Jensen looked at him terrified. He knew what was coming, but it was as if he could not contest against his own desire.

Sam to make it more exciting, he took his member and slowly teased with his tongue.

"God ... Sam!" Said Jensen, making a huge effort to help himself.

 

Sam continued with the torture, until he saw that Jensen was at the limit.

"Show me how you want me ..." he said, settling better astride him, in an unmistakable pose

Jensen could no longer restrain himself.

They made love so. On the sofa.  
 

  
The pleasure was immense and all-encompassing. A Jensen was like always like crazy when they did it that way, and when Sam straddled that way, he remembered the many times that he liked them both do it that way ... on the sofa or chair, sitting with Sam on him that way.

It was great for both, because Jensen saw as arched Sam, when pushed against him, and he found it erotic crazy, and Sam, for his part, loved to be dominated by so Jensen.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen could not believe what had just happened. He had made love with Sam, in her living room Jared..nel house, on her couch ... and when they had finished, he was gone ... as usual.

She washed and coating, immediately erasing the traces of what they had done, with the terror that Jared would understand.

He could not believe..provava big guilt against both ... yet he had really wanted Sam with all his might.

She had desperately wanted. Like the other night had wanted desperately Jared.

He cried in the shower, knowing that in a sense, betrayed both, but did not know that the worst was yet to come.

When he came out of the shower, the phone rang home of Jared.

It was the hospital. Jared had taken ill.

Jensen was frightened very much, and rushed to the hospital, praying that it was nothing serious.

 

 

*

Fortunately it was nothing serious. Jared, according to what the doctors had said, had been only a low blood sugar and was passed out in the road.

The doctor advised proteins, vitamins and plenty of rest.

Jared, however, was already feeling better, and the doctor allowed him to return home.  
   
   
"Maybe it was the sex tonight to put k.o ... eh?" Jared blinked as they walked down the street.

Jensen looked pale.

"Jensen, calm down ... I was joking."

"It does not seem a good joke ... you ended up in the hospital."

"I was just trying sdrammatizzare..soprattutto considered the dream I had," he said, smiling sheepishly.

"Which dream???"

"Beh..è really embarrassing!" Jared said.

"You know you can tell me everything .." Jensen said, feeling scared, without understanding why.

"Well ... oh my God, it's so embarrassing ..." said Jared, before further lower voice:

"I dreamed that you ... .you made love with another!"  
   
Jensen turned pale. "This is absurd ..."

"But I found out ... and ... instead of getting angry ... then we made love the two of us ... does not it seem even more absurd ??" laughed.

"I would say, perverse." Said Jensen, full of guilt.

"How about we make true the last part?" he asked maliciously.

Jensen looked at him terrified. "You are just been to the hospital!"

"But it was just a mind-boggling!"

"You will rest now!"

Jared snorted.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

When they returned home and time Jensen dinner went into the kitchen and he saw Jared completely naked, covered only by a long apron that held only discovered her bottom. It was at the kitchen stove, which turned the omelette.

Jensen bit his lip. He prevailed that had to leave him alone.

Jared saw him coming, and laughed, sure of the power he had over him.

In fact time seconds and Jensen came up, palpating your butt.

"You've decided that you want to provoke me?"

"I'm just hot!" Jared said, wincing and laughing.  
   
   
Jensen forced himself to remain calm, while Jared brought the omelette on the table.

 

Know she was completely naked before him, it does not make things easy. He ate a little omelet, while Jared looked at him maliciously, but then left her.  
"Do not eat the omelette that I did for you? Ungrateful. "He told him, mischievous.

  
Jensen gulped.

  
He felt very strange. He had made love with Jared, and then with Sam, who now had his own likeness, and now looked at him, he was Jared ... but also had Sam's body.  
But Jared was what he wanted now.

  
Jared got up, going towards near, and stroking his hair.  
"Perhaps you prefer the sweet?" he asked.

  
Jared was exciting to die in this capacity, and Jensen could not do without their restoration hands on him.  
She touched the back seat, feeling him excited.

  
"Ahhh" Jared laughed, almost in ecstasy, when Jensen began to put your fingers in forbidden places.

"You want to make love?" He asked in his ear, excited.

Jensen gasped. "Holy God, yes."

  
Jared kissed him, putting his hands around his neck, in a clear invitation.

  
Jared was taller than him, but thin, so Jensen was not difficult to pick him up and take him to the bedroom.  
He laid it on the bed and slipped between his legs and clung to his legs to his back, as they continued to kiss.  
"I can not do without you." Jared said, touching his face.

  
"Me neither," said Jensen. It was the truth, and hoped that Jared did not pluck the sadness in his voice.  
They ended up lying down. Jensen above Jared.

  
"I want to give myself to you in all. "Jared told him, while Jensen held his face in his hands.

  
It was so sweet. He embraced him so sweetly, giving themselves to him so wonderfully, ready to welcome him back.  
Jensen kissed him again, vaguely aware that he began to love him.

  
He could not think of Sam at that time, not with Jared so captivated by him and he so enthralled by Jared.  
He felt his erection and also to awaken Jared.  
He could not wait any longer.

 

They undressed and made love.  
And it was intoxicating, enveloping.

  
Jensen was wrapped in strong bursts of pleasure, while he pushed inside Jared looking into his eyes, and see how he enjoyed the embrace, he was still enjoy more Jensen.  
See how you gave to him unreservedly, it was just too much.

  
He also wanted to give him the same love unconditionally.  
She wanted to give him everything. All.

  
While Jared and Jensen making love and their moans and muffled breathing filled the room, Jensen could not know that Sam looked and was suffering them.  
Go to hell, Jensen thought Sam, with tears in his eyes.

  
He believed that he could not feel any worse, but he was wrong.  
While trying to escape from the nightmare, taking refuge anywhere else, he noticed something in a room ....  
It was pervaded by 'horror ....

 

 

 

*

Jensen was dreaming.

He, Jared and Sam, naked in the same bed.

He was at the center of the bed, and at his side was Sam on one side and Jared the other, staring at him with a smile.

He even smiled at them.

Sam kissed him first, then Jared, smiling at them both.

"I love you immensely," he said, smiling at them both.

"We know." They said they chorused.  
   
Jensen turned to smile at Jared, and stroked his arm. Jared replied, giving him a gentle kiss on the hand, while Sam hugged him from behind, and Jensen replied hugging him with his other hand free.

Then something happened ....

Sam went outside by the side of his bed and went to Jared smiling.

Jared looked at him a bit 'surprised, and even Jensen gulped.  
 

And then Sam kissed Jared.

Gently.

And Jared smiled in the kiss, letting Sam took control, smashing into bed.  
   
Jensen would have trembled at the scene, but strangely he felt excited.

But he did not want to be alone.

After a bit 'of snogging, Jared without interrupting the kiss, took Jensen's arm, urging him to get closer to them and Jensen anything but unhappy, came to them.

The scene was reversed again, and now Jensen was lying down, belly up, and Sam and Jared were around him, kissing him at the same time, and he embraced them in ecstasy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaha XD That chapter! I hope now does not do not be angry with jensen or myself xd I anticipate that everything will be explained, and that Jensen will have feelings of guilt about all this and still XD Sam has just received another big blow xD who knows what it is xD


	22. Two lives

Jensen when he awoke the next morning, he found a note from Jared.

**I'm sorry, honey, but yesterday I could not see the inspector, and I have to do it today.**

**Excuse me if I run so not even say hello. I love you. See you later.**

 

Jensen when he awoke the next morning, he found a note from Jared.

I'm sorry, honey, but yesterday I could not see the inspector, and I have to do it today.

Excuse me if I run so not even say hello. I love you. See you later.  
 

 

  
Jensen felt terrible. Not only for the ticket, but also because he remembered the dream he had. He, Sam and Jared, naked in the same bed.

He had nausea and did not know what to do.

To try not to think, he decided that he would do a bit of housekeeping to make a surprise to Jared when he would return.

 

Unfortunately, when he entered the adjoining room, he found the same thing that had so terrified Sam the night before.

**Photo.**

 

Jensen walked over curiously. It seemed to recognize the little boy of the picture in front of the mirror.

 **Sam.**  
 

  
He began to sweat. It was possible that Jared knew him? Maybe they were connected?

Pictures in front of the mirror were several. He picked them up.

Sam showed at different times of the day. At the park, at school, on the street ... sometimes laughing, sometimes he was sulking ...  
 

  
Open drawers agitated, and he found the photo album in which Sam was bigger ... 10 years ... then maybe 17 or 18 ....

But why Jared kept hidden photos of Sam ?? And why did not he say anything?

Maybe it was not really Sam. Maybe it was Jared. Maybe Sam was a kind of double of Jared ... maybe ...  
 

  
He rummaged in the small lockers increasingly agitated until he found the old school report cards.

He read some of the professors statements.  
 

  
_"Jared is a very closed child, before the possibility of playing with the other children, he prefers to be alone ... it is unusual for a child his age ... also often seems as if he did not know where it is. He does not respond readily to questions that arise. "- First grade._  
  
_"The child could have an identity crisis ... hates his name or perhaps does not recognize it as tale..quando you call it by its name, does not respond. He often says that his name is Sam. It is not clear where it may have already heard this name. Maybe Sam is his imaginary friend ... but if you ask him, the child seems not to understand even he who is Sam. "- Second grade_  
   
Jensen had to stop reading, because suddenly feel stomach writhing on himself.

He ran to the bathroom just in time. When they reached him, he seemed to vomit the soul  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen when he had calmed down, he thought. Because Jared had not said anything about this? Perhaps he was removed?

He checked the other report cards but did not speak any more of this Sam, he was just referring to the fact that Jared was always closed, although a lot smarter than his age, but his continuous and frequent crises, and its continuous vacuum moments where it seemed it was somewhere else, certainly not helping the interaction with other children ....

 _empty moments ... .._  
   
   
   
"Yes, I ... as I said, I seek always this ... soul ... and not enough for me to draw, I want ... I want to try to ... take pictures!"

Jensen looked at the photo of an old man sitting on a bench watching the pier, and a woman who was nursing a baby in a pub ... then came the image of a little girl with a fluttering dress running, taking on a balloon.

  
"The joy, the sadness, the sadness ... I try to capture these emotions!" Jared said.

"To also capture the soul of the world? And why?"

"I do not know, I ... maybe because in my life I have never been able to keep anything ... I seemed to see me slip away things and I could not do anything to hold them back, they went away from me like ... like ghosts ..."  
   
   
   
_I can not change "_

_"Look!" Jensen said, scattandogli a photo. He looked at her and there was nothing. Sammy looked at the photos hurt._

_"And you'll forget about me ... I'm a ghost. A ghost! "Said Sammy_  
   
   
   
Jensen continued reading.

"During his moments of emptiness, as if the boy was no longer here. As if he fell into a trance. Sometimes it faints, but often is alert, can accomplish the actions completely in a trance and then not remember anything of those moments, as if they were made by another ... as if in him two persons coexist. We recommend the help of a therapist and a neurologist, if it were to continue and become pathological. "- Third Elementary.  
   
He tried to read more, but leaders immediately Jared must have changed schools, and perhaps not to alarm the teachers too, it had been silenced or hidden ... maybe with the inspector's help.

Because Jared never had he told? Perhaps he had not felt it was important. He did not remember what happened to him when ....  
   
Jensen also remembered another thing ... the kiss at the cherry flavor, which had heard of Sam is that of Jared on his mouth.

 

At Sam had promised that he would never had sex with any man, except him.

And then he did with Jared.

Jared wanted his first time to be with him ...  
 

And every time there was Jared, Sam disappeared.

And when Jared was going on, Sam came back ...

And when he made love with Sam, Jared had that ill ...

And the dream he had, that he had dreamed that he had cheated with another ....  
   
 

  
_Good Jensen, we're coming ... too bad it's already late ..._ sad thought Sam.

 

Sam had seen those photos last night. He, too, as Jensen had understood.

He had not the appearance of Jared. Simply he was Jared.  
   
   
Jensen was upset. He murmured a "Sam" broken.

"I'm here, Jensen ..." Sam said.

Jensen looked at him. It was the moment of enlightenment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally revealed the true nature of Sam xd xd was tough keep it hidden until now xd expected it? xd now also understand why Jensen loved both xD actually has always loved Sam xd and continued to betray them because he thought within himself not to do so, the same person being simply continauva to love always the same person, he could not help it <3


	23. Save me, save me my love

"Sam ... you ... you ... you ... you're him ..." Jensen finally managed to say.

Sam nodded his head, and then said, "Yes ..."

Jensen stared at him amazed and terrified and then reached out to him.

  
Sam slowly approached. He also reached out his hand, and their hands intertwined together slowly.

"Why do not you tell me?" He asked.

"I ... did not know ..." Sam said.

Jensen took his hand away from his, to place it on his shoulder. Sam looked at Jensen's hand on his shoulder.

And then Jensen hugged him.

Strong.  
   
   
Sam salts on the couch with him and remained so.

They wept both.

 

"God ... Jared ... you ... it was you ..."

"I can not believe that I was jealous of myself ..."

 

Jensen took his face in his hands, and said:

"Forgive me, I never wanted to betray you ... but now ... I understand why ... when I was with Jared, I forgot about you ... in fact I never stopped loving you, and for this, I continued to do it every time, because I could not stop ... .I could not stop loving you ... God, Sam, forgive me ... I could not control it ... I never wanted to hurt you ... "

Sam smiled sadly.

 

"In a way, I'm happy ... yes, now I know why, I'm happy ... even if it seems so absurd ... the most absurd of all ..."  
 

Jensen had been lost at him adoringly. He had to try to compose herself, saying,

 

"How is it possible? If you are Jared ... what ... why are you in this form? Because you have lived all these years so? Where do you go when you disappear? "

"Jensen, I do not know ..."

 

"You're his soul? Why not remember anything ??? "

"Jensen, I do not know! The only life I know is ... is this ... with you. I do not know where I go when I'm with you ... it's like I did not exist ... I do not know if back inside his body ... probably ... maybe it's true that i am his soul ... "

"Hell ... this is what it means to really fall in love with the soul of a person and loving it" Jensen said, smiling, and giving it a gentle kiss.  
 

  
"Wait ... if you're here ... Jared ... what happened to him now?" Jensen was concerned.

"Jensen ... I do not know ..."

"It may be back to the hospital?"

"Jensen ... ... you stop talking for a moment of my body, as if I were not I ?? It is disturbing, okay? "Jared said with tears in his eyes.

 

Jensen took his head in his hands. "Forgive me, Sam ... I do not want to be insensitive ... but I still find it hard to understand ... the thing, and I care too much to te..a both ok? And I suffer to think that talking in the plural gives you hell, but it's the only way I can non..for not go crazy ... but it's always you. Only you."

They kissed again.

 

"Now what are you going to do? Do you know that ... .Jared ... he will forget ... I will forget everything again, when I return ... .there ... right? you can not get by simply telling these things to me, Jens ... you will have to do it again ... even at him ... "

"God ... I know ... is that I do not know if I have the strength ..."

"But also you said, no? I am, Jens and I love you. He will understand. "

"I do not ... .I am not sure that Jared can understand ..."

"But Jensen ... .Jared is me!" Protested Sam.

 

"You do not understand!! You're too ... Pure .too much .. !! We have shared a life together, we are sure of our love, we know it's a deep love that goes even beyond time, space and matter ... but Jared does not know, he can not know, or he do not remember it, Sam! Even if you are the same person, it is as if when you disappear ... .ritorni to be just Jared! "

"And it's something so ugly?" Asked Sam frustrated.

"No!! You are a wonderful person as Jared! It's just that you and I have known each other a lifetime ... and when you come back Jared ... he ... he comes back to see me as a stranger who knows only from a poor week ... "

Sam was beginning to understand. Only he did not want to accept it.  
 

  
"I really regret very much indeed for what I did to you ..." he said, taking his face in his hands again.

"What are you saying?" He asked irritably.

"Tu..la your life ... you have ... god ... I do not know what I did to you ... I ... I .have .depersonalized you.. i annihilated you ... you have to live a fictional life, intangible, driven away from your body ... I will annihilated with my love, I have deprived of a peaceful, normal life ... "

"That's enough, stop it!"

"I hate myself for this deeply and I will never forgive myself ..."

"Jensen, I love you!" Sam said with tears in his eyes.

"I love you too! But what I did to you ... "

"You did not do anything !! No one has that kind of power! Do not blame yourself for something you can not control, just because you need to find a culprit! "  
 

 

Jensen stood up from the couch. Perhaps there would be a nervous breakdown.

"I did not do anything, you say ???? I have destroyed you in all possible ways in which a person can be destroyed! I destroyed your soul, I violated in every possible way in which I could do it! I forced you to have two lives !! And forget it every time! And then ... I was also about to kill you !! "

Sam got off the sofa to meet him.  
 

  
"Holy God, how can you love me?" He asked, his eyes filled with tears. "I destroyed your body and your soul. If there is a hell after death, I deserve it. "

"And I, if you want me, I'll follow you too. Also there" Sam said, taking his hands.

"If I wanted you? If I? After all I've done to you, you still worry about what I want? "

"It seems normal when you love someone ..."

Jensen took his face and kissed him passionately.

 

"I've always wanted you desperately with all my strength. Always. " Jensen said after the kiss

"So that's the important thing."

"NO. I can not be so selfish ... I can not put yourself in danger like that. "

"You have no choice. You know I always come back to you! "

"No ... no ... you have to ... we have to stop, Sam ..." Jensen said, holding a hand over his eyes.

"You know we can not, and we do not want!"  
 

  
"This time will be different this time ... you know the truth ... maybe if you try ... can you back into Jared's body, now and forever ... and so you'll finally ... .full ..."

"You can not really want such a thing ... what will become of us ??"

"I ... I can not keep you chained at me in this way, Sam ... I'm hurting, I'm sure it's not a natural thing ... if you continue to live this way, you will come to self-destruction ... you will die ... and if it happens, I will have to kill me ... "  
   
"ENOUGH WITH THIS STORY SUICIDE !!!" Sam snapped.

 

Jensen stared at him sad.

"You know I can not control it" tried to be reasonable, Sam, holding his hands over his face.

"You have to try, Sam ... believe me, it's better that way ... maybe if you can do it, Jared will have all the memories you've always got you ... remember ... you will return one person, finally ... not frustrates you live a life you do not remember to live always forgetting that you had with me? "

"Not if the price is to lose you ..."

 

"I lose you, if we continue in this modo..non yet safe ... the organization that commissioned the murder you ... ... they do not know that you're still alive, but ... if were to find out ... with me if you're in danger ... you can go back to Jared's body, he ... you ... you ... you know ... you know how deep the love I feel for you, and maybe you can not hate me for what I was going to get you ... "

"The question is always the same ... what will become of us?"

"I do not know if I can not be selfish just enough to give you up, if that's what you're thinking ..."

"And then…?"

"And then ...." Jensen said, kissing him. "Back in your body and save me. Save me, save me my love. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Then, the last sentences are difficult to understand. Sam tells Jensen who can not leave. Jensen finally tries to convince Sam to come back into his body to know Jared truth and save him from those who wants him dead. 
> 
> Sam asks him not to leave him and Jensen says he does not think he could leave


	24. The call Castiel

Unfortunately, things will turn out unexpectedly for Jensen.  
In a way he knew he deserved it. He had pulled the rope too, stalled for too long, and had also succumbed completely to the love and passion for Jared / Sam without inhibitions.  
And now fate had decided to punish him.  
Shortly after Sam had left with the promise that he would return into his body and he saved, he received a phone call from Castiel.

 

"Jensen, you have to leave right away, we have to cut the rope both, and quickly!"

"What the hell are you saying? I can not leave Jared right now ... "

"You'll have to, if you care to your skin, and also to that of your boyfriend ... our leaders have discovered that you are alive!"

"What??"

"It must be because you reminded more and more things ... forgive me, Jensen, it's all my fault ... I should not have to rehash old memories ..."

"Forget it, you has nothing to do, you just wanted aiutarmi..e know what else?"

"They know that Jared is still alive ..."

"My God.."

 

"They have did a lot of domande..io I have not betrayed you, Jensen, credimi..ma know how they are ... so ... insistenti..mi have made the third degree, and I think they suspect of your emotional bond with him. "

"No ... .Jared ..."

 

"They do not know to what extent. Believe me, Jensen ... the best thing to save both, immediately go out of here! "

"To go where?"

"Wherever ... listen, man, I could already be on a plane now, without worrying about what would be your destiny, but you're my friend ... and I will not go without you, but you have to get a move on. Now!"

"I can not go away without Jared ..."

 

"For God's sake, Jensen, you know him only a few weeks !!"

  
"It is not so ... Castiel ... there's something that you do not know ..."  
"Enlighten me .."

  
"He's ... **is Sam**."

  
"Sam? Sam who? "  
"You know."

  
There was silence on the other side, before Castiel said:

  
"No, listen man, I know that now you believe in anything to be linked to the type that you had to kill, even come to believe that he and Sam your soulmate are the same person, but this is ... it's absurd .."

  
"Cas..is true ... please come here. "he said, sobbing unexpectedly.

 

 

 

  
Jensen and Castiel met in a nearby park, a bit 'isolated from others, where Jensen told him softly everything.  
The passion that he had not been able to control for Sam and Jared.

  
The photos. The truth. The awareness that we have perhaps always known.

  
"If Sam is back in his body now, and I'm leaving, I'll lose it forever, Cas ..." Jensen said, still crying.  
Castiel hugged him.

 

"Dude, I understand your feelings ..."

"Sam ... he ... I asked him to save me ..."

"But I do not share them. Especially now. Jensen, if we not go away today, they will find us, they will kill you first, then me, and then he too! In fact, maybe you will kill you for last, to ensure that you can watch him die. "

"Cas .."

"I know I've been cheering for you from time immemorial, but there is something more important to love him, Jensen ... save his life."  
 

  
Jensen hugged him back, still crying, feeling defeated.


	25. Farewell, my love ... Farewell my loves

Jared came home that was almost noon, hopping like a top.

 

"Jensen! Jensen! Jensen! "Shouted cheerfully.

  
Jensen came into the living room, touching head. "Do not shout ... are not deaf, but if we become ..."

  
Jared went to him, buttandogli arms around his neck, and kissed him.

  
"Sorry, is that I like to speak your name." He said, beaming.

  
"How ... how do you feel?" he asked.

"I've never been better! Indeed, I must tell you something! "

"No dizziness or sudden illness?"

"No! Well ... maybe, but it's nothing important, rather listen to what I have to tell you, Jens! It's important!"  
 

  
Jensen got scared a little, seeing him so excited, and could not help but wonder what had become Sam and why he had not done what I had asked.

 

  
"We did it, Jens! Finally we have them in hand! "

"Who?" Jensen asked, awed.

"Those who want to make me the skin ... the inspector has helped me so much ... has mobilized the best professionals in the industry ... already existed devices of this kind, though of course only in theory stage, and are still being developed, but ..."

"Brakes, brakes ... which devices?" Asked Jensen scared.

"Detectors are able to track down these people, Jens ... detectors able to detect when one of them will close, or how far ... of course, they must first work, but ..."

"But this is how it would be possible ???"

 

"They used the blood of genetically modified some of them ... those few who were able to take in all these anni..e the analyzed ... science is making headway, Jens ... analyzers have memory capable of recognizing the same distance dna ... I know that sounds like science fiction, but it is tr ... Jens, who cosa..che what do you do? You are crying ?? "Jared asked shocked.

"N ... no..i ..."

 

Jared took his face in his hands. "Hey, this is a nice thing, I can finally live a normal life, not as a prisoner, and I can live with you," he said softly, looking into his eyes, but then his gaze became vacant.

"Or maybe you do not ... you do not want ..."

"No, Jared ... I ... I want ... really ... is that they are ... happy and excited for you, eventually they're going outside J" Jensen said with tears in his eyes.  
 

  
Jared kissed him passionately, still holding her face in hands.

"I want to get out with you!" She said Jared.  
 

Jensen gasped in front of those words so full of feeling.

 

Jared's cell phone rang, and both sighed.

 

"Sorry," Jared said, answering the phone and moving away.

"Hello, yes, John..tell me ..."  
   
Jensen tried to compose himself. He was crying.

 

"Damn ... it is still ... John wants me to go from him again ... but he do you want? We just said goodbye ... "

 

Jensen looked at him with a sad smile.

 

"Jensen, if you want, tell him I can aspettare..è almost lunch time and ..."

"No, no ... you go ahead, I will eat a hamburger, quiet ..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes ... ah, Jared ..." stopped him, before he went on.

 

"Yes?" She asked Jared apprehensive.  
   
"Before you go, I wanted to tell you about the dream I had last night ..."

"A dream?"

"A dream ... about the two of us ..." said Jensen.

Jared paused, looking at him in awe.  
 

  
"We were ... kids ... and we were playing in the school yard ... not badavamo or played with other children, you existed for me only you and for you I existed just me ..."

 

Jared stared at him perplexed, but smiling. He liked that dream.  
 

  
"And then ... I do not know ... clips from different ages, but a life in comune..noi two were always together, we grew up together, we remained always at the side of the other ... and despite all this symbiosis, he never went out choked, because the 'only thing that made us happy, was to stay together ... "

 

"Jensen ..."

"And it was the first kiss, and it was sex ... and it was heavenly ... and hot as hell ... a snare to the heart that kept tied us and promised to do all my life ..."

 

he could not continue because Jared kissed him.

  
"Continue ... I like this dream ..." he said, still holding his face in his hands.  
 

Jensen trembled. "I ... do not remember much else. Only ... a past life together ... with you ... "

  
Jared smiled at him adoringly. "Who knows, maybe in a past life we have already met and fallen in love."

  
Jensen smiled sadly. "Yeah ... you will definitely like this ..."  
 

Jared received a text message on the phone.

  
Get moving.

-John.  
 

Jared snorted and gave him another kiss. "Forgive me, love, but now I think I have to .."

  
"W-what ... what did you call me?"

  
"Love ... yeah, sorry, perhaps it is too early to ..."

  
"No no..va bene..va well ..." Jensen said, he is looking surprised.  
 

 _"You not to blame? You are Sammy, okay? And then I ... I ... I think I love you "_  
 

  
"See you later, and force you to eat another burger to eat it along with me," Jared said

  
"Yes…."

"Jensen?"

"Yes?"

 

"Your dream ... ... you have created a dream for me ... and it is a beautiful dream. Thank you. "he said, moved.

"Yes.."

  
"We will live together, Jensen..maybe not known by children, but I will make sure to always be there for you ... if you want ..."

"I want him, Jar ..." Jensen said, feeling a carousel turning in his heart and make a bad dog.

 

Jared continued to look at him. He smiled, though his gaze seemed to falter. Perhaps he sensed that something was wrong, and was afraid to leave him.

"See you later ..." said Jensen.

Jared reluctantly went.  
 

  
_Farewell, my love ... Farewell my loves .._. I thought Jensen sad.  
 

Soon after he began to write a letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not know if the thing of devices through the blood genetically modified, recognize the guys from a distance, it can be quite credible or not hahahha but now between souls who are detached from the body and that they go for a walk around the world, fall in love and make love, realism has gone to hell xD
> 
> This chapter is quite difficult to write, and I dare not even think or imagine the next XD
> 
> I'm afraid xd
> 
> hello hello XD
> 
> Ps nothing to do. Jensen did not do it to tell everything to Jared ha ha XD


	26. I can not let you go ... or maybe I can?

Jensen wrote that letter, breaking off several times, in order not to stain it with her tears.

It was still at half when Castiel telephoned.

"Jensen ?? Are you ready? We must row! "

"Again few more minutes." Jensen said, wiping an eye.  
   
   
   
   
*

What happened next was like a dream for the poor Jensen. The race at breakneck speed through the streets of Venice, with a small backpack, which contained the bare essentials.

Some clothes and a toothbrush, which, Jensen remembered with pain, had bought together with Jared.

And now he was taking them away from his home, away from him. As himself, as his heart.  
   
   
Jensen was sweating and panting, when he finally reached the highest tower in Venice.

Castiel began to wait, with his heart crazed drumming.

Castiel was late. Jensen hoped with all his heart, kicking mad, it had not happened any unexpected.

He did not like to wait, so it had time to think, and inevitably thought of Jared ... how he would take when he would have found that stupid letter about how he suffered, how he would have hated ... and did not want to think about it.

Suddenly, however, something else calamitò his attention. He looked out the window of the tower, and saw in the distance a lot of cars that were heading them.

Police cars.

Oh no. He was going to save him a panic attack.

Calm down, you idiot, maybe they did not come for you ... maybe not coming here.

Yes, of course, when did you stop believing in Santa Claus, exactly?

They said the voices inside his head.  
   
He became convinced that the only solution was to go away from them as quickly as possible, but suddenly a silhouette fill it out of the door space, and could no longer catapult out.  
 

 

**JARED.**

 

He watched him approach, like in a dream.

Or maybe a nightmare ...  
 

  
"Jensen ?? Thing .. What are you doing here? "Asked a stunned Jared.

Jensen looked at him sadly. He could invent that was there because he knew that they would go there, he wanted to help, help him ... but they were only lies that harked back the inevitable. Jensen knew that the police had come there for him.

 

"Why are you here, Jared?" Sad churches.

 

"Thing?? You reversals demand ?? **I'm** here because the devices was telling you, you are put to work suddenly, and ... .. "Jared was distracted by its own vibration that device, inside his jacket. He pulled it out with terror. It was a tiny remote control, which began to vibrate and play louder. The flashing red lights on the buttons seemed right in the direction of Jensen.

 

Jared gulped, looking at him, straight in the eyes, with mouth wide open.

"No…."

"Jared ..."

 

"Tell me ... tell me that there is another reason why you are here, and for which this damn thing, is flashing at you, tell me **you're not one of them** !!" said Jared desperate and angry.

"Tell me, Jens ..." he said in a broken voice Jared saw that Jensen did not respond.

 

"I can not ... Jared, I'm sorry," said Jensen torn, trying to get closer.

  
"NO! Do not come near! "Jared said, pointing the pistol he kept hidden in his jacket.

  
Jensen looked at him, terrified.

  
" **I trusted you and you ... .you were one of them**!" He said, pointing the gun.

  
"Listen, you have every reason to ..."

"All the opportunities you had to tell me ... you lied to me all this time ..." said Jared incredulously. "You have told the bale of amnesia".

"It is not so. I, really ... I did not remember ... "

 

"But really? And when you came back the memory, you did not think to warn me, I bet .... why do not you killed me  
immediately, Jensen? It is the only thing I ask of you. "

"I do not…"

"Ah, yes ... if not then as you have fun?"

"Jared, please ..."

  
"You disgust me! Do not you want to kill me enough ?? You had to force even fuck me ?? "cried, on the verge of tears.

 

" **I never wanted** !!" shouted Jensen, referring to the murder of Jared. Jared stared at him puzzled, and for a moment crowds, Jensen thought that Jared had understand that he did not want to make love with him, and irrationally he hastened to add: "Kill you ... i do not want killed you ..."

 

" You had to own tell me ... you're beginning to have feelings for me ?? ???" Jared continued, after recovering from that moment crowds where he had almost felt offended.

"It was all true. Jared, I love you! "

 **"LIAR**! "Yelled Jared and Jensen winced.

 

"You wanted to kill me !!" still raged Jared.

"I would never hurt you." And he said Jensen.

"You're saying just to ... just to save your life!" Stammered Jared.

"No, Jared ... and to prove it, I will accept whatever your decision ... would you give me? Me arrested? Do you want to kill me? I deserve it. Foul. You're in command. I will not oppose resistance, and whatever you do, I will continue to love you, and do not hate you, because after all I've done to you, I know that I deserve it. "

Jared was shocked above measure and hand on his gun, he was shaking violently.

  
**"Because?? Holy God, Jensen, why**? I was also in lov ... "

 

It crashes suddenly, because you hear noises coming from below.  
It's over, he thought Jensen, and you feel a strange sense of lightness and relief.

  
Above them, Jensen also feel a helicopter. Castiel was, but had arrived late, he thought, smiling sadly.  
"Jared!" Called John.

  
Jared leaned down from the ladder and Jensen felt his heart sink.

  
"John! I think I heard noises coming from the warehouse under the courtyard. You could go see ?? There's nobody here! "  
"Under?? Oddiosanto, I just moved up ... ok, but you do not come? "

  
"Yes, arriving between poco..devo only fix the device. Does not work so well, "said Jared, leaning his forehead against the wall in despair.  
John was convinced and went back down.

 

 

"Jared, why did you do that?" Asked Jensen sad.

  
"Jensen!" Was the voice of Castiel that protruded from the helicopter. The faces of Castiel and Jared met for the first time after the wreck. Castiel leaders who had Jared. It was incredibly equal to Sam. He did not know as he had not recognized the first time.

  
"Go away and do not ever come back." Jared said dismissively, turning his face away.

  
"Jared, I hope someday you can forgive me .." said Jensen.

  
"Jensen! For god's sake ... this place is filling up with cops. "Castiel said worried, urging him to climb on the helicopter.

  
Jensen did not think too much about. Jared caught up with a few strides, and while Jared was trying to send him away, saying, "No, do not go near, he stays away!" Jensen grabbed his face and gave him a breathtaking kiss.

 

  
"I'll never forget, Jared." He said.

  
"Will you do that instead." Jared replied, sad, feeling the first tears finally begin to wash his face.  
Or maybe they were tears of Sam.

  
At that moment he saw a boy who looked like him amazingly and it could have been him, alongside Jensen. It was a blur, as if it was a ghost, and appeared tied hand in glove with Jensen. their bodies were so close and magnetic as to appear as one.

 

Jared, despite everything, it was jealous of that closeness.  
 

And then the guy disappeared, and Jensen salts finally helicopter.

There was a great outcry, because everyone had come to quell'irruzione, but they could not stop it.

The helicopter was able to get away fast enough, and Jared collapsed to his knees in despair.

 

It was not long before the inspector came up and realizing the conditions of Jared, took him in her arms, holding him strong, and took it away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guys, I was moved to write this chapter <3333


	27. He lied! He lied to save his life!

Jared he was vomiting in the home inspector John, kneeling over the toilet bowl, while John kept an eye on.  
He had agreed to give him his space, at least for that ... but now he had to help him walk.

  
"No! Do it myself! "Jared tried to rebel, but John was ironclad. "Do not be silly, you can not stand on your feet!" He scolded, holding his sides, as he helped him to return to bed.  
He placed it in the room for guests and tucked the covers, then started to walk away, but Jared held him by the arm.

  
"Do not go, stay here." He pleaded.

  
John stared at him with concern, and took his hand. "Of course the rest, son."  
"I'm pathetic, is not it?"

  
"For nothing. You have just suffered a terrible blow and you're also fainted. I had to carry your heavy ass to the car. "He said to him affectionately.

 

"Jensen ... he ... he managed to run away?" He asked worriedly.

John did not know how to interpret his concern. He was afraid that he was not able to escape, or maybe hoped?

 

"Yes. He and his friend that piece of shit got away, but we will find them. "

Jared groaned.

 

"Jared ... I have to ask when I was going to go to you, he was already with you, right?"

Jared groaned. "Forgive me."

"I'm not scolding, but I am worried. He threatened you ? He had a gun? "

"No ..." he managed to say Jared brokenly.

"Holy God, Jared..l'hai ... you let him get away ??" asked John shocked.

 

Jared did not answer, and John blurted out: "Shit, I do not know how we all did not see that damn helicopter !!"

" **I loved him! I still love him**. "He said Jared bursts into sobs.

 

John was even more upset. He understood that between Jared and the man was starting a strong friendship, but did not think of that.  
   
"Ok ... ok ... just calm down." He tried to calm him John.

 

When Jared was a bit 'calmed, John said quietly: "You understood what he is, right? It is that why you're so upset. "

"Yes…"  
"You also know that in all probability it was he who attempt to wreck it did sink your ship, and that in all probability it is also the one who has caused you loss of memory ..."

"Yes.."  
"You know ... probably approached with you, because ... he wanted to kill you."

"Yes, damn it, yes !!"

"Holy God, and after all this, you ... .do you still love him ??" he asked the inspector upset.

"He was so ... so good, so sweet, and romantic, and possessive with me ... he never hurt me ... we've always been together, it always had the opportunity, every minute ... and yet he have never done ... "

"Jared, he was probably just waiting for the right moment to ..." said the inspector, touching his shoulder.

" **He said he loved me**!"

John looked surprised.

 

"He went on to say to the last, even when we were on that tower."

" **He lied! He lied to save his life** !! "

 

"NO!!! I was already letting go ... no ... did not have to **kiss me** , but he did! "

John opened his mouth and eyes. "Did he ... kissed? The tower ?? "

 

"Yes." Said Jared, trying now a bit 'of remorse and shame for all they had missed.

 

"You must sleep now. We'll talk when you're rested and more lucid, able to sustain this conversation. "He said John quietly.

"Promise me ... just promise me that you will not do harm him. Please. "He pleaded Jared.

 

John looked at him. More he saw his guy in that way and wanted to punch and kick and slam into a fetid cell, the one who had done this, but have pity ... but there was no need to make it more Jared painful than it was already.

"I promise you. Sleep now. "He said.


	28. Love, eroticism and separated souls

Jared had returned to his house, against the protests of John.

He needed to spend the night there. At least for the night.

John did not agree. He was convinced that he should not be alone, but Jared had insisted.

He needed it.

He wanted to go back to sleep in the room he had shared so many nights with Jensen.

Sleeping in the same bed, the same sheets.

Tighten and smell her pillow.  
 

  
It was in fact what he was doing at the time. It was the middle of the night and he was still awake.

He squeezed and hugged the pillow on which Jensen had slept for so many nights with him.

He smelled her perfume.  
   
He wished that he had not reacted that way with Jensen when he discovered the truth.

He did not regret having sent him away, but on second thought, he would not reject that way.

Now maybe Jensen thought he hated him.

What he wanted instead Jared, was that Jensen fell from the damn door, telling him she loved him and could not leave him.

And then they would have sworn eternal love and Jared would have promised that would protect him and defended. Always.

And then they would will make love.

And he is thinking of these things, clutching stronger cushion.

 

Jared could not forget how he felt to make love with Jensen.

Feeling wrap those arms. Feeling a shattering love penetrate by kisses Jensen and get down your throat and stomach, and ignite the bowels.

Hear Jensen's virility that invaded, with passion.

He could not forget how he felt to completely surrender, to let himself be invaded by him. Not dominate. Invade. But it was an invasion pleasant, flashing, passionate.

And also full of love.

They did not lack cuddles, caresses, kisses, even to become all one.

The feeling that his arms could not happen anything wrong, although, that was the funniest thing, he was his murderess.

 

Jared was barely conscious of what he had begun to do while he thought on these things.

Eyes closed, he began with light strokes under her shirt, on his chest, and then finish on the neck.

The kisses on the pillow, imagining star kissing Jensen's face, and imagining that he was kissing.

With your fingers, then, trace the outlines of his chest, and then slowly caressing her legs. Up and down. Up and down.

To suggest that hand between the inner thighs, and then between her legs, imagining that it was Jensen to do so.

And then get back on his stomach, moving the pelvis, slowly at first, then faster and faster, imagining and wishing there was Jensen over him to possess.

 

Sam, watching that scene, in a corner of the room, a bit 'iritate, especially since coming to the head of intense pleasure exhausted with Jared and could not reject them.  
   
Jared's hand, masturbating his erection, harder and harder and excited.

And then finally we orgasm. Violent and desperate.

It's wet. Not only for the satisfaction achieved, but for the tears that had fallen off the face desperate.  
 

  
Sam watched her tears, full of sorrow and compassion.

 

 

 

*

Jared was sleeping, when, in the middle of the night, its window will open.

 

"Who is it? Who ??? "alarmed churches, while the cold night air made him tremble.

"It's me, Jar ..."

"Jensen ????" As he had hoped to see him, hear his voice, embrace it ... but now that it was finally here, he was afraid.

"I will not hurt you." He said, heartening it, raising his hands.

"Then why are you here ??" he asked.

"Because I love you, and I do not want nor can I leave!" Said Jensen.

  
Jared looked at him shocked, and then threw her arms around him.

Without thinking, they began to take off her clothes and exploring their bodies with their hands, and kissing everywhere, every centimeter of skin.

 

But suddenly, Jared's eyes widened, seeing a thin knife on Jensen's hand.  
"Jensen, NO !!" I said, trying to break free.

  
"Scccch, I will not hurt you, but you will make it, if you do not stand still." He told him, lovable, Jensen.  
"What do you want me ??" Jared asked the trembling and with tears in his eyes.

  
"All I want is for you not afraid of me."  
"If you do not want to be afraid, he throws the knife."

  
"No no, it's not so simple, my love ... I will do anything to you, you have to stand still, and do not be afraid. You think you can do? "  
"Jensen ... please .."

  
"You love Me?? Then, prove it! "Growled Jensen.  
Jared felt challenged. He feels that his love was put to the test.  
Only nodded, still full of fear.

  
"Well!" Jensen smiled, and drew a small cut on his chest.

  
"Ahhh." Said Jared.  
"Schhh." Said Jensen. "So, bravo. It is silence. "

  
Jared groaned, trying to endure the burning.

 

Jensen made two other cuts. One for each arm and Jared cried both times.

"Now try not to shout" Jensen told him, grabbing his face.

  
Jared was terrified, but nodded.

Jensen gave him a small notch on the neck.

Jared groaned, but did not cry out.

Jensen gave him a soft kiss, right there, then licked a drop of his blood from his neck, and forearms.

  
Jared wailed, confused and terrified, but did not move.

Jensen then went inside him.

Jared almost choked, but he tried to fend off the pain.

Jensen began to push inside him with lust, then stopped.

  
"Kiss me." He ordered.

Jared did. She took his face and kissed him.

Suddenly, the cuts Jared disappeared. There was not more blood, pain. Anything.

"Jensen ... what?"

"That's because you trusted me, my love. Thanks. "he told him, this time giving it a more gentle kiss.

 

 

 

 

*

  
Jensen awoke suddenly, sweating and panting. It was still on the helicopter.  
Before him, Castiel looked at him surprised.

  
"I hope not to be in the same space with you, even when you make sex during your blessed dreams, man. It's disgusting."  
"Holy God ... io..feel shame" Jensen was ashamed of what he had just dreamed.

  
"Do not say that to me. I want to die. NOW."

  
Jensen wiped his face with a cloth.  
"I dreamed about having sex with Jared."

  
"Do not tell me. I do not know the details. I have enough different ways. "Said Castiel, trying to erase that image and that memory itself.

 

 

 

 

*

Sam was looking at Jared, that after orgasm, she was crying on the pillow, and tried in vain to sleep.

It made a huge penalty, because understood his pain.

It was the same she felt him.

But now everything had to end. He had to return to his body and had to do it for him.

For both.

When Jared would also have his memories, it would be even more convinced of the love he felt for Jensen, and together, they would have saved.

She looked at him again and gave him a caress on the face, then she bent down to give an affectionate kiss on the lips.

Jared shifted in his sleep, confused, but smiling.

Then Sam tried to go through his body, but feel an obstacle. The barrier of matter.

Open your eyes, and his gaze became frightened, as if unwilling to believe it. Her eyes misted.

_No.....no..._

 

 

 

 

*

"If you need another pair of pants, I can not lend my, friend, so you will need to bask in your mess, for ..."

"Idiot. I did not come, if that's what you mean. "

"Oh yes? Well, we missed a little ... uh, good morning, Sam! "Said Castiel embarrassed.

"Sam ???" Jensen asked astounded.

"Cas. Jensen. "

"Why are you here? You did not have to…?"

"I did not succeedl, Jensen ... I'm sorry. I tried. Really. But I can not qualify. Not voluntarily. "He said crestfallen.

Jensen looked sad. "So ... this is the end." He said.

"Yes."

Jensen went to embrace him, then he sat down again and put his head in her lap, while Sam was crying.

"I'm sorry, Jensen."

"Schhh not tell apologize, Sam. We are together and that's what counts. "  
 

  
"Um, I do not want to spoil this lovely idyllic time you lovebirds, but ..." began Castiel, looking out the window.

"I think **we are all in a sea of shit**!" he said, frightened, showing clouds that presaged a storm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So guys, I hope you understand everything that is happening. Jensen and Jared have not met, or rather, you have dreamed each other <333 sam attempted to enter his body, but did not succeed, but it is sweet which is now with jensen not? <333
> 
> and in the initial part, sam feels jared masturbating as if he was doing it himself, after all they are the same person no? : D
> 
> We'll see you to the next chapter and the letter of jared at jensen <333


	29. Forgive me

 

It was morning, and Jared had finally found the letter from Jensen.

  
He had slept little and badly at night, and waking up did not seem to be going well.

On the one hand he was terrified of what he would find inside, and the other side was relieved to be able to hear other words from Jensen ... even though they were on paper, at least he could hear other words.

In their haste, almost he tore the envelope that contained the letter.

And then he read.  
   
   
_Dear Jared, if you're reading this letter, I am no longer with you. I managed to run away like a coward ... or they took me and they are behind bars at the moment, and I'm begging for your forgiveness ... and you might have wanted to see me, or maybe not._

 _I have to write quickly because I have not much time, but at the same time, they are terrified they can not then explain sufficiently clearly my feelings for you._  
  
_Here the hand of Jared trembled as he held the paper._  


_I LOVE YOU, Jared. I beg you to believe me, even if you do find it hard to believe, but I beg the same._

_I never meant to hurt you. Not really. Not for a single moment. I know it sounds hypocritical to say now, but it's what I feel._

_That's all I remember._

_Yes, I am a soldier. I'm one of those soldiers who are part of the organization that wants to kill you._

_Forgive me, Jared._

_I do not remember!_

_I've never lied to you. Yes, maybe I hid the truth, but I never lied._

_When our ship sank, I really do not remember anything about me, about you, about us. I charge you to believe me!_

_The memory came back to me only later, only now when I was already madly in love with you._  
  
_Oh Jared, to discover that not only the person that I felt more love in the world, was the person who in the beginning I wanted to kill, he killed me INSIDE._

_Even find out that I was the one to make you lose your memory, she has destroyed me._

_I have not recovered completely my memories. I just remember when I let you go on the ship, to save your life._

_Yes, because you know, Jared. Even before the accident, I was not able to go all the way._

_I remember I told you that when I discovered that I was in love with you, it was too late. and then I put you on a lifeboat, which was that meant to me, and I saved you. I was already in love with you._

_Funny, is not it? Destiny is really funny._  
_How many times I fell in love again of you, Jared?_

 

  
_Now ... there's another thing I must tell you, and I hope that you do not judge me crazy._  
 

  
Jared sat on the sofa, her hand to her heart.  
   
_Ever since we first met, after the wreck, since I came to stay at your house, I immediately felt a deep affection for you, as if we knew all along, and I know that for you is the same._

_I did not know, but you invited me to your house, you have invited me to sleep in your bed, and, I am quite sure, that night we even slept embraced._

_I do not remember anything of my life, Jared, but there were certain dreams, and memories, which continued to resurface in me._

_A face. A name. Sammy._

_At first it was a three year old little boy that I found near a river when I years I had only seven._

_Then with time, Sam grew._

_Yes, Sam, my imaginary friend._

_I mentioned it. All have a friend imaginary, as children, but what did not tell you is that, my little friend grew with me, over the years ... has never abandoned me, Jared. It has been with me throughout my adolescence, reaching adulthood._

_He was always with me, but there were times when literally disappeared and i was not able to know or refer where he was when he was not with me._

_He said he does not remember. He knew only one life, which was with me._

_The rest: darkness._  
 

 

_I know it's crazy, but ... all I was clear when the morning after the last night we made love, which was then also our last night together, I found photographs of you to child, in a room, Jared._

_It was Sam. Was you…_  
   
"NO !!" he said Jared dropped the letter on the couch. He tried to catch his breath, and then continued reading.  
 

_Now you will be shocked ... I was, and I told myself that there had to be another reason why there were pictures of Sam in your room!_

_A double ... or maybe you knew somehow Sam so. Maybe you and he will only look like very much ..._

_But then, I found your old school report cards, Jared._  
 

  
_"Jared is a very closed child, before the possibility of playing with the other children, he prefers to be alone ... it is unusual for a child his age ... also often seems as if he did not know where it is. He does not respond readily to questions that arise. "- First grade._  
  
 _"The child could have an identity crisis ... hates his name or perhaps does not recognize it as tale..quando you call it by its name, does not respond. He often says that his name is Sam. It is not clear where it may have already heard this name. Maybe Sam is his imaginary friend ... but if you ask him, the child seems not to understand even he who is Sam. "- Second grade_

 

 

Jared began to cry, remembering those moments. Moments he thought he had forgotten, or had lost forever.

  
_The teachers also said they had frequent seizures and empty moments when it seemed that you were somewhere else, Jared._  
_Now I understand. Yes its you. You were you!_

  
_I do not know how it is possible, Jared, but your soul is ... peeling off from you, since you were a child, to come to me, and he never stopped doing it ... even in adulthood. Even now. I continue to see Sam and he keeps coming back to me, Jared._

  
_What he wants? What he has always wanted. Be loved. From me! And what I've always wanted too._

  
_Me and Sam we belong together forever. It has never been a love only platonic. We kissed and we had sex. More than once. It was in every sense a relationship._

  
_A relationship that at first I did not want to, because Sam - you- your soul - did not react well to all these intense emotions too, did not react well to my intrusion, the intrusion of my ... ... .body._

  
_Forgive me ... I ... it's not like it sounds, believe me. I begged Sam ... I begged him to stay away from me, I did not want to hurt you ... but you wanted my arms, my body, my mouth, my hands ...._

  
_We were together in all the ways that was humanly possible and not humanly possible._  
_We suffered but we were also so happy that it was like to die._

  
_We could not divide us. we could not leave._

  
_There are still many things that I have not told you and so many things that do not even remember, but believe me, Jared ..._  
_We loved each other._

  
_If you do not want to believe anything else, you believe at least at this._  
_Forgive me if even for a brief moment I wanted to kill you._

  
_I did not know it was you._

  
_But despite everything, I did not ... even when we were on that ship, I did not._

 

_Forgive me if I run away now, but I can no longer remain. I wanted to tell you everything, but it all happened so quickly._

_I am not alone. I have a friend ... I can not make me take it, you know? I have protect him, because he has protected me. He did not say to the leaders of the organization that I am alive._

_He was protected me until now, but now they know it. They know that I'm alive._

_And I have to protect him, and even you, before you protect myself._

_If I stay here, you'll both be in danger because of me._

_If I leave, I hope that busy chasing me to make me pay, they forget about you._  
  
_I just hope to succeed._

_Also forgive me for loving you, but I can not stop. I never wanted to use you._

_Forgive me if I go and tell you everything without looking into your eyes._

_Inside of me I hope you and Sam - your soul - and you definitely will riuniate repurchases all his memories, which are especially yours, and be able to understand more and more how deeply we love. I asked, but I do not know if we will succeed._

_If you are reading this letter with sadness and despair, we probably could not._

_I do not want to say goodbye. I want to see you again. I'm not ready to leave you, but I do not know what to do ... .Jared ... Sam ..._  
_Forgive me._

Jared could read the last word with effort, because he had eyes and vision blurred with tears. She sank her head on the couch and continued to cry.

 

 

 

*

  
When Jared was taken in part at least to be able to walk and move without feeling pain cramps, he went to the hospital.

  
"Mr. Padalecki, his memory is not something you can turn on or off at will ... if she still has not regained, it means that it is not ready yet." He said a doctor.

  
"Bullshit! I'm more than ready! "Jared said. "I want to make an X-ray to the head. NOW!"

  
"No appointment or doctor's report, it is impossible."

  
"I suggest you do what the guy says. You do so by the inspector. "John said, behind him.

 


	30. Plane crash

Castiel looked at Jensen and Sam that sleeping with completely leaning heads on each other.

  
He smiled. they were see ugly view with the omen of a storm on board a helicopter ... but luckily it had been only a false alarm, the passing clouds ..

  
Castiel was glad that not he had missed the important contacts that had helped change the middle, leaving the helicopter in which they were traveling, with a faster twin engine, for more distant destinations.

  
His friends were so gentili..non had questions ... had earned him the means and had indicated an isolated place shortly after the Italian border, where there was a little 'abandoned farm, and therefore a perfect place for take-off.

  
They did not have very clear when they could stop. The idea was to put miles and miles away from the police and from the organization.

 

Maybe run away to America would be a good idea. He and Jensen had talked about it, but they needed the money ...

The weather was spoiling again, and within a few minutes, it began to rain.  
   
He did not want to wake Jensen and Sam, but the rain had always disturbed. Maybe they were just emeritus balls and actually the whole plan to run away with, and twin-engine helicopters was all a shit. He made a mental note to tell Jensen that would have remedied a car as soon as possible, or maybe a jeep, at the cost of running away in the desert.  
   
"Mmm..cos'è this noise, Jens?" Asked Sam, against him.

"It's all right, Sam." Jensen said, rubbing his eyes. "Cas ... that happens ... it's raining?" He asked.

"I would say that this time we are seeing a real storm." Said Castiel indicating the storm that was gradually getting stronger.  
   
   
"Jensen ... I'm afraid!" Sam said.

"It's okay, baby. Look, why do not you come back in your body? You'll be safer there. "

"I told you I can not decide!"  
 

"Um ... at the cost of sound insensitive, Jensen, you worried more than the two of us, because Sam, or at least part thereof, is safe in the heat, unlike us."

"This sounded really insensitive." Said Jensen.

"I agree." Said Sam.  
   
"Shit!" Said Castiel, avendocela with the controls.  
   
"Listen, um ... why do not we find a place to land? We can not fly so, or we risk ... "said Jensen.

"Shit, Jensen, shut up. Merged commands, I can not ... "

"What?? What the fuck does that mean that you can not ?? "

 

"Be quiet!!"

"Oh, we're screwed. Let me see."

"NO! Listen, Jens ... are careening too. Not ... I can not land ... and I'm afraid that is going to crash! "

"Shit. The parachutes, soon !! "said Jensen, but was stunned when he found only one.  
 

"I'm sorry, I thought that there would be no need." Castiel said.

 

"And then, if we must die, we die together, man."

Castiel closed his eyes and plug the autopilot for just two minutes.

It was of little use anyway.  
   
"No. You will not die."

"Cas, what the fuck you say ?? Get back to the guide! "

"I put on autopilot, and then I wanted to say goodbye!"

"What the fuck are you saying ???"

Cas !! "said Sam back.

"Actually, I wanted to say goodbye to both of you. You are the best friends I ever had. "He said, smiling, opening the tailgate.  
   
Jensen and Sam drew back, almost overwhelmed by the power of that hurricane.

"Cas, what the fuck are you doing? Immediately close the hatch! The situation is not as tragic !! "he shouted.

"Say? I recognize the signals, soon this twin-engine will fire, "he said.

"No ...." He said Jensen chilled.

"I probably will die, but you have to save you." he said, giving the parachute to Jensen.

"No, Castiel, no. Noooooooooooooo! "He cried at last, at the urging of Castiel, as he fell clutching Sam underneath him.  
   
   
   
Castiel looked at her friends fall, while the parachute opened beneath them, and smiled.

Sam knew that because he was a soul, it really was not as heavy as he could be if he had his real body, so he knew that he would not cause any damage that they were clinging in two at the same parachute.

He was torn apart by the sudden detachment, but he had to think about their salvation. There were more chances that were saved in this way, rather than being all three of them on that plane.

And then he could not bear to see them die.  
   
A few moments more, and the plane exploded, just as he had foretold Castiel.  
   
   
Jensen and Sam saw it explode and wept while embracing each other, were covered by the waters of the lake on which they had fallen.

 

 

*

Jared was in the inspector's study John, when you feel a pang in my heart.

"Jared !!"

John went to meet him, supporting him, and making him lean on him.  
   
 

  
"A terrible dense, John." She told him, when he had recovered.

"I know, Jared ... drink this." He told him, giving him a cup of tea.

"I hope nothing happened at Jensen." He said, closing his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost cried even i in these scenes o.o


	31. Listen to your heart

Kazakhstan  
district Alakol

  
Jensen are located on the banks of a lake, he was fainted.

  
An unknown middle-aged, she saw him, looked puzzled, walked, and once satisfied himself that he was still alive, he took him up on his shoulder as if he had not weight, letting out only a grunt.

 

*

"Jared, now I want you to listen to me." She told him John.

"And I will want that you to provide me with a helicopter ... or ... any faster thing, to reach Jensen immediately." Said Jared desperate.

"Jared! You are in full frenzy. Do not you realize that? "She asked.

"I just want ... damn, I just want to talk to him, I tell him I do not hate him. He must know, or will think that I ... "

" **But you should! Fuck, Jared**! You have no idea what made you bastard? He wanted to kill you, has erased your memory with some kind of devilry, he came to bed with you, and, moreover, is a mad visionary who sees people who do not exist! He wants to convince you that you belong at him! And you know what the worst thing he could do ?? Convince you of this! You believe it !! "

?? John, listen, I know you do not believe in the supernatural, but ... .. "

"Fuck no, Jared! I believe in the supernatural! I do not believe in the crap, okay? And I do not ever believe that your soul is gone for a walk for 26 years, out of your body, living another life with a stranger whatever, and each time returned into your body without remembering anything! **I'll not be partaker of this madness! Now, either you stop or I shut you in a mental hospital, I warn you! "**

Jared replied, a bit 'cracked his voice:

" You were there you even when my school teachers said that they saw me always absent, as if I had memory lapses ... you were there when I was always forced to change schools because others saw me as a monster ..."

"Jared, it happens to all children to be absent with the world ... is the age ..."

"I went from dozens of psychologists and psychiatrists, no one was able to understand what I had ... that the problem was in me .." Jared said, letting the tears got the upper hand.

 

"Jared ..." John said, hugging him.

"I want to get to the bottom of this story, John. I have to figure out if there really is something wrong in my mind ... "

"The x-ray did not establish anything wrong, Jared ..."

"Apart from a busy and very active brain activity. Even too much, according to the doctor. It is like ... overloaded, almost like living at 200 percent of what would normally be possible ... "

"Jared ..."

"Is explainable if my soul lives situations out of my body that I can not remember and therefore do not know that he lived ... or to live ... John, you know it you who I still to lose again day ... was always so ..and how many times we were afraid that it was some form of symptom of a serious illness? "

"Jared, you realize that you think ... you live half your life without a soul? It is impossible to live without a soul! "

"No, I do not think it's impossible! I did some research ... you know astral travel? According to many, when we sleep, our soul is detached from the body to travel in the astral world, and when you wake up, go back into your body. "

"But you're sleeping, Jared!"

"How about instead of people who died during cardiac arrests and then are back in itself ?? And people reported dead during the vegetative coma who miraculously awaken saying they felt everything? It does not seem so strange to believe such a thing, John. I ... my body and my soul are connected. It's like ... sleepwalking ... I do not notice when she leaves, it is like in a trance, but it is tr ... "

**"ENOUGH!"**

"Jensen said he was in love with a boy named Sam, and I was a child I continued to call and appoint Sam ..." he said with tears in his eyes.

"You said yourself that he rummaged through your things ... you may have known Sam reading in your report cards and to have invented this story ..."

"No, he told me about Sam already the first day ... and the day that we met, when we have provided relief, called me **Sammy** .."

"Jared ..." said John desperate.

"Please, believe in your heart if you will not believe your mind .."

"I can not…"

Jared holds her face in her hands. "Yet you did, when you decided to take care of a child of criminals. You saw the good in me. "

"The good that I saw ... fuck, Jared .."

  
"Give me a helicopter, John."  
"Do you want to kill yourself?"

  
"I will not go looking for Jensen ... I do not know where sia..you have forgotten? But I read a kind of guru who can help you remember fragments of consciousness that have been lost ... maybe he can help me .. "

  
"Holy god, and you believe it?"

  
"Since I met Jensen, I believe a lot of things." Jared said smiling.

  
They hugged again.

  
"I'll give you a helicopter fast enough to travel, as long as they come with you." John said.  
"John, you have to stay here, you have to ..."

  
"Do not say another word. Or so, or you forget the plane., Kid. "He said again John gruffly.

  
And they hugged again.


	32. father figures

Kazakhstan

district Alakol

 

Jensen woke up realizing that being on a bed.

He turned it in warm blankets. He felt that the bed was not to be among the most luxurious, but he felt a warmth that he not felt for so long .

The pillows were crumpled, but he had two on the head and this had made him sleep well ...

Even the blankets were not good either. They were wool and itching face and neck, but they were well placed around him, covered him completely, and then cuddled in a sense.

Who had brought them, he held to be resting well.

 

"You're going back into the world of dreams, wren?" Called a voice.

Jensen thought he talk with him and seemed polite reply.

He rubbed his eyes and tried to open them.  
 

  
It was in a small wooden house full of colorful cups and napkins. It was in a kitchen, where strangely there was a green sofa, on which he was lying. A little further on there was a table and a table near the window, where he entered a bright sun.

He looked away from the house to focus on the stranger in front of him.

A man slightly overweight, with gray hair, a mustache and a reddish beard, and blue eyes, was looking at him with curiosity.

 

"You took the time to wake up, ray of sunshine!" he greeted him.

"Where ... where am I?"

"Devil! I do not get close to civilization by a nice time bang, but are not so ignorant as not to know that the joke is the most acclaimed and gettonata by the best film in the cinema and not to the cinema! It is not yet gone out of fashion? What a bore! At least the nature always changes! "

"Not always the same direi..fa around ... born, sprouts, grows, in the same way ..." said Jensen, who was intrigued by the man.

"Look, Squinzio, if I have to argue with someone of my loved nature, I expect at least tell me her name, especially if you fetch up like a trout from the lake. Live. It was not granted the last thing. "

"Jensen ... Jensen Ackles ..." he said. "Or at least I think ... there was writing this on my boat." Jensen said, remembering when he was Jared did go on that boat, and he had said he had read the name "Jensen Ackles".

 

"You had a lifeboat? I did not see when I rescued you. Did you get drunk? "

"No ... I ... I had it on the ship ... to get to Venice."

"Venice ??" the man asked, surprised. "You've come a long way here. "

"Yeah ... do not you tell me your name."

"I did not, no. I'm Bobby Singer. "

"Mpf ... what a name."

"Look Who's Talking. Ackles! Do you realize that your last name seems that of one who has just made a joints ?? " replied Bobby.

"At least my name does not seem a brand of dog food."

"No, it just seems that of a girl. Jensen ... Jenny ... "

Jensen chuckled, then stopped. "Thanks for saving me…"

"You saved me, therefore you will save, he said a phrase in a book." Bobby said.

"You're always so kind to everyone or just with strangers?" Asked Jensen smiled.

"Only those who are nice to me, ah, and with those who rescued." Bobby said with a smile, then she added: "And you always said thank you at your savior so late?"

"Only those who are nice to me." Jensen said smiling.  
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen was eating a sandwich with hamburger and literally devouring her orange juice.

"Looks like you went to hell and back, boy!"

"Something like that." He said.

"You said that you think you call on your lifeboat Ackles because it says so."

"Damn, you remember everything. Not like me. "He said Jensen.

"I suppose from what was said before, and what has been said now, you do not remember your last name."

"Precisely…"

"How is it possible to forget your last name?" Bobby asked, grimacing.

"Eh, it's possible."

"You've got amnesia?"

Jensen let go of his sandwich, assuming now a sad expression.

 

"If you tell me your story, I can help you remember what you do not," Bobby said memories to encourage him.

"How?" He asked.

"Because it's what I do." He said.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

"John, I'm not sure we're doing the right thing ... we should go look for Jensen." Jared said aboard the plane.

"Jared, if I had he in front right now, I'd kill him." John replied.

"John !!!" Jared said angrily.

"So you see why it is a good idea, we go out of your guru?" He said, smiling.

Jared folded his arms offended. "We do not know if it will work. And if he was a con man? And if you can not make me remember anything ?? "

"Jared, if you have done such a head with this guy and now you will changed your mind and want to go back, i hit you."

"Not that ... I'm just saying ... are polished by a lot 'of hours now."

"Since this has become a bad thing?" Asked John.

"Well ... because obviously if I were not polished, it would mean that I am with Jensen!" He said with a sigh.

John rolled his eyes, muttering: "What did I do bad ??"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, but as should happen in the next intense things, I can not write everything together XD
> 
> I hope you enjoy the surprise Bobby <33333
> 
> and you understand a little more about what he does? :))
> 
> Ps I want to clarify that I did not want to offend the name or surname Jensen and even that of Singer ... is ironic xd
> 
> Last thing, the phrase You saved me, therefore I will save, is of the book: the last line of fairy tales


	33. Jensen under hypnosis

"So, you'd be a murderess? With that face? "He asked Bobby.

"Blessed are you that you get to laugh ... I wish the love of my life had taken her like you." Jensen snorted sadly.

"Well, forgive me if I find it hard to believe that such a manly man, so that outside his feelings like a girl, is both a ruthless killer mysterious organization that seems to be straight out of a science fiction movie." He said Bobby.

"As I struggled to believe that Jared and Sam were the same person." Said Jensen. "Or maybe I always knew, I do not know."

"Here, perhaps because I found your story seems implausible. For this! "Bobby said with victorious air. "Probably will be for the history of the soul that goes to walk out of the body by twenty-six years! And that, moreover, also makes sex! "

"Sam and I have never had sex ... we made love."

"Oh, please ... I'm too old for this sappy things."

"Whatever ... I can leave now?" Jensen said, standing up.

"Still there. Where would you go? "Bobby asked, surprised.

"Far from here and your sarcastic comments. I should never have to tell you these things! "

"In these conditions, you may not go anywhere. You almost risked freezing to death, and you've got a fever, signorinello. And then you forgot that I promised to help you? "

"Bobby, I'm a killer!"

"Without a gun?"

"How can I argue with someone who does not take me seriously?"

"And how can you expect people to take you seriously if you keep running away?" He asked Bobby.  
 

  
Hit and sunk. Jensen did not know what to say and remained silent, struck by the strange reproach, but he knew of sweet concern to him.

 

Bobby seemed satisfied to have him silenced. Remained silent a little ', enjoying the small victory, then said:

"Now will you allow me to help you?"  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Bobby had done accommodate Jensen in the field outside his home. He had made to sit on the tiles around the grass and told him to close his eyes and cross your legs.

"Now you have to trust me. Is very important."

"I'll try." Said Jensen.

Bobby put his hands in open palm towards Jensen's head, without touching it.

  
"Tell me what you feel now. Your feelings. "

"Pain. Only pain. "

"Pain why? To who? "Bobby asked again.

"To ... Misha! To **Castiel**. "

"How do you feel or felt about him?"

"I loved him. How to love a friend, of course. It was my best friend. He have always protected me. He continued to do so until the last and I now ... no ... no ... "

"What, Jensen?" I prodded.

"I did not even dare to go look for her body ... could not stand it. I could not stand the sight ... I ... "

  
"Okay okay. Now calm down, Jensen. Tell me again, for who else feels pain? Just for him or for someone else? "

" **Sam** ... Jared ..." said Jensen.

"Can you tell me why?"

"Because **I love them** , and I would just make them happy; I'm happy when I'm with them ... ... but when they are with me, suffer! And I have to let them go for you to be well, be safe ... but then I have to suffer! "Jensen said, letting a few tears solcassero his face.  
 

 

" _mm ... continue to see them as separate people ... if he can not see them as a unique person, all this will not help_ ," thought Bobby.

 

"Listen to me, Jensen ... you continue to talk about the love of your life as if they were two different people, you are aware?"

"Yes..." Jensen admitted.

"Why are you doing it?"

"Because they are." He said Jensen, and Bobby was surprised candidly of his sincerity. At least he not is hiding behind a false respectability. This might have made things easier.

 

"Ok, Jensen, but the love of your life **is one**. It is always so for every human being. So now I want you to answer me, and that is absolutely sincere. You can do it?"

"I'll try." Said Jensen.

"Tell me then ... **differences** ... who is Jared and who is Sam ... describe them."

"Io..non understand ... they're ... they're the same person ... not ..."

Now Jensen seemed confused and unable to continue, but Bobby did not give up.

  
"No, Jensen. you said that they are two different people, separate. Now tell me in what they differ. You can do it. "he urged.

" **Sam .**.. he ... he is the love of my life. Of all my life! I've always been close, as a child. Sure, sometimes he disappeared, but then it always came back to me. He never abandoned me. He loved me of a mad love, inhumane, and yet wonderful. Unconditional, infinite, all-consuming and paid! "

"And Jared?"

 

" **Jared** ... I ... .I do not know ... him ever since we met, on that lifeboat, has done nothing but take care of ... me..mi saved by water freezing ... took me to his house ... he did enter me into his bed ... took care of me ... I was a stranger to him, but he wanted me beside ... "

  
"That's why you're in love? Because he took care of you? "

  
" **No**!" Said Jensen, a bit 'offended. "I'm in love with him because he's a good guy, sweet, caring, romantic, beautiful, tender."

 

"Sam is not?" Bobby asked, hoping not to star walking on a minefield.

  
"Yeah, it is." Jensen said, still confused.

  
"What differentiates it from Sam?" Bobby insisted.

"Io..io..non know ..."

"You can do it, Jensen. If you can not figure it out, we could not go on with the therapy. You have to try. "

  
"He ... he is **human** ... .it is!" Said Jensen almost desperate.

  
"Continue." Bobby said, after a moment's pause.

  
"He is human. Sam is not, and therefore is more tormented. More ... unhappy. Clings to me as the only thing that sustains him on this plane of reality ... .Jared instead is real, is physical, it can have more than me, and yet, choose me! The thing that sets it apart is th **e ability to choose**! "

 

"Do you think Sam would not love you, if you were not the only thing that ..." Bobby said, and it was not a question but a statement.

  
"Jared chose me and trusted me so of course, instantly, blind faith ... I loved it right away, since maybe I realized it was incredible that anyone would want to hurt a creature so good, so ... wonderful. It was easier and more beautiful love him. "

  
"What did you feel for him?"

  
"I wanted to protect him with all my strength, and to love him until the rest of my days. "

"And Sam? You do not seemed to betray him? "

"... I not.... i remember hardly of him, to blame amnesia, but also after, no, I did not feel guilty, perhaps because subconsciously I KNEW it was the same person. I always loved ONLY him, I loved all this time his soul, and then I also loved his body. "He Said Jensen still crying.

  
"Boy…"

"I did not know who were the same person, but I could not fight the feeling that bound me to him. When I was with one I forgot the other and vice versa, because Jared was all I needed, and Sam was all I needed! "Said Jensen exhausted from so intense confession.  
   
Bobby was also affected by these utterances, but he could not give him respite.

 

"Now I want you to tell me which one you love more."

"No Please.."

"Foul!"

"I do not know…"

"You must try it!" The Bobby said.

 

" **Sam .**.. maybe him. He loved me all my life and never stopped ... "

 

Bobby here was thoughtful. He felt that he would have said Jared because he unlike Sam had a choice.

  
He had to investigate more, and decided to turn the question in another way.

  
"What sins Jared, unlike Sam?"

"He does not ... he does not remember me." Jensen said, still crying.

  
Pride ... Bobby thought. "And then? What else? "

 

"He is ... is ... my **victim**!"

Guilt ... remorse ... he thought Bobby.  
 

 

Bobby thought he understood the Jensen conflict. Sam loved him deeply, I considered it the love of her life, but he was terrified that Sam loved him because he had no one else but him; Jared had chosen him even though he had a choice, she had loved him and had shown how strong and powerful it could be his love, after he had let escape that way, however, having discovered the truth. Only that Jensen would not forgive him of all the fact that you do not remember him, they did not know what they had shared.

  
So even Jensen knew who he really loved the most. his instincts Sam said, but he was terrified that Sam loved him just because he had no choice, and he thought he did not deserve the love of Jared, because he wanted to hurt him.

  
It was really a mess.  
 

  
"Ok, Jensen, now open your eyes." He said.

Jensen was very exhausted.

 

"Listen to me, you have to stop to see Sam as a separate entity from Jared. This does nothing but increase your confusion and your internal uncomfortable, because if you can not fully understand your feelings, you'll end up with macerarti guilt. You love Sam, is the love of your life, is the most pure and spiritual part of Jared, it's all love and spirit, is its free from ego above us all. Jared is none other than Sam strapped to his body, but the body is just a shell. Even when you love Jared, it is actually getting Sam you love. "

  
Jensen stared at him with hope in his eyes that burned. Bobby knew that Jensen was thinking that he wanted it to be true.

  
"I know it's devastating to know that your soulmate keeps forgetting about you; it is difficult to fight with pride, with the ego that puts blinders before ... we'd all like to just be free to be able to love unconditionally and be loved in return, is what we all would like, so I understand your anguish. "

Jensen cried again.

"But Jared has not forgotten you. Not entirely. Jared did not know who you were, but he felt compelled naturally to you. It is important that her captive soul of the body, you almost forget you, it is important that you do not stop loving you, and you showed it welcoming you once again. "

  
"And I did all those horrible things ... I hit him with a gun ..." Jensen said with a shudder.

  
"This is the next step that we should address. Get to remember what happened on that ship, and I think that now that you're realizing your feelings for this person, you can do it! "Bobby said.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

"I've never killed so far, I was scared, but I knew I had to. All of us are loyal to the organization. "Said Jensen.

"Because? Why are you faithful? "

"I Do not ... do not know ... Castiel told me that pamper us with promises of eternal love, they will never be abandoned ... but we have to do what they tell us."

  
"Even killing of innocent people?" Bobby asked, trying not to get too upset.

"Loro..sostengono that ... life is a continual torment and the right to live is overrated, then, death is not as bad as you paint ... or as people think. Can in many cases be a liberation. "

  
"A real brainwashing ... with a lot of preparation for the pain I guess ..." said Bobby, disappearing for a few moments, then resumed.

  
"They were counting on me to kill Jared. I did not make questions. We do not do questions ... or maybe it did not respond ... I do not remember ... "

  
"Okay, Jensen, now let's leave the organization. Try to remember when you landed on that ship and you saw Jared. "

"Yes ...." Said Jensen, while Bobby had him lie down on the brick floor and ran his hands over the body, radiating heat.

  
"I'm doing your energy flowing. Now it should be easier for you, remember. "Bobby said, before Jensen began to speak.

  
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if I interrupt the chapter as well but for me it is really tiring traslate these pieces o.o


	34. When we met on the ship

_*_

_It was not a luxurious and large ship like the Titanic ... but it was beautiful. I had never traveled on a ship so far. I remember that the sun hurt my eyes and burning skin._

_Already hated that fucking ship. I wish I had never gone there._

_I found that I also suffer from seasickness and after this discovery, I hated her even more._

_While vomited, leaning on the railing, Jared he appeared before my eyes, like a vision._

  
_"Ah-ah - AH friend, you know it's not hygienic?"_

_I looked at him, eyes wide. I immediately noticed the resemblance to Sam, but at the same time I wanted to convince me to have to do with a look-alike. At the bottom they were not exactly equal. Maybe it was not true that Sam could not change, as he once told me, but still changed little. Being one spirit did not need to brush your teeth or comb her hair ... could do without sleep, he would not have had eye bags the next day ... so Sam's features were not physical, a little 'more ethereal than Jared ..maybe why not upset me that much._

_Maybe I could even recognize the photograph that they gave me, but it was not so._

_But when I saw him in front of me, on the ship, I realized it was very similar to the photo guy._  


  
_"It will not be hygienic, but better than throwing up on the ship, do not you think?" I asked._

_"Do not underestimate seasick ... we have several days to spend on this ship. I can help you spend these days in a less troubled. Come with me."_  


  
_I followed him uncomfortable, and I was there all the time in his cabin where he gave me medicine for seasickness. He told me that he sometimes suffered from it and I was trying not to think about just Sam, Sam, who seemed to have taken from me seasick._

_Sam had told me that I was not obliged to do so. To kill an innocent ..._

_"Dude, you look uncomfortable." He told me Jared gave me medicines._

_"I just ... I have not yet recovered, forgive me," I said, like a fool. And then I ran away to my cabin._  
  
  
_That same night I passed with an upset stomach, with Sam huddled against me, embracing me and cuddled me and consoled me, trying to make it go away._

_He consoled me that i cried like an idiot because I did not kill Jared, Jared who looked like him so much ...._  
  
  
_It was a hellish night ... the next day I was a mess. I took a look at the self-service food portions that were used and left without taking anything._

_Jared moved from his table, saw me, and came to me. And I'd just wanted to throw me into the sea, run away from him._

  
_"Friend, the canteen is a bit 'disgusting, it is true, but it is not a good reason to stay on an empty stomach." he said, touching his shoulder, and I shivered._

_"Today I not so hungry. Want to make half with me? "He asked, showing me his hamburger and his fries._

_I felt bad, but I accepted the same._

  
_I ate with him, in two adjoining deck, alongside one another._

  
_It was strange. I had to return the good mood, also he took the sandwich and told me to take a bite. I did not gave him directly, but let me take a bite out of his hands._

_And I did it with him._

_We looked like two lovers. Perhaps I was not already in love with him, but it made me tenderness, sympathy ..._

_And I felt a little 'better._

_*_

_"They are under" police protection told me one day, and my stomach tightened doing a bad dog. "But it's a secret, forgive me but I can not talk about it." She added, looking at me, in a tone of apology._

_I swallowed hard and told him I was sorry. I asked him why, but he shrugged and said he could not talk about it. He smiled tenderly, and I wanted to plant me a knife in the throat._

_Then I told him about my situation. I not talked to him clearly the organization. I said only that I was part of some kind of sect that held me in his hand, but now I was beginning to be impatient, and began to think that I wanted to run away. He did not say what kind of sect was, but he did not ask questions._

_He just stroked me, my cheek, and said softly: "I have an inspector friend ... if you come with me help you get out. You agree? "_

_I almost closed my eyes at the caress. Jared noticed it and drew back his hand, embarrassed, but smiling._

_"I ... do not know ... I'll think." I said, and the amazing thing was that a part of me really wanted to do it._  
   
   
_It was evening when we shared that moment, and as we walked back to my cabin, with Jared who accompanied me, and while I thought back to caress my face, in the moonlight, on the deck, like two lovers, but we stopped because we were arriving, I surprises with a sudden hug._  


_I heard them all my certainties crumble. The legs give way so much that I was afraid to fall at his feet._

_I had never received so much understanding and affection from a stranger, never such a feeling of wanting to protect and protect ...._

_To console and be consoled ...._

_I returned squeezing strong and from that moment I realized that I could never hurt him._  
  
  
  
_Unfortunately, when I returned to my cabin, I was struck by terrible pain shock to the head._

_My brain was programmed, was controlled, it was monitored. They followed me, they controlled. I had no way out._  
_They would not have allowed me to escape my duty!_  
   
   
   
   
   
   
_*_

_Between me and Jared did not there was nothing. Just a good company, a sweet love ... like a sweet abandon, or at least a sweet abandon start._

_He touched him with my shoulder sometimes, because I walked too close, and both rabbrividivamo to that contact._

_Inside me I knew I loved Sam, I just thought Jared was a friend to me. A friend whom I was very fond ..._

_Jared I was very well. We played ping pong ... and ate together, and the contacts between us became also quite affectionate ... so much so that some thought that we were gay, and we laughed about this._

_But I knew I did not have much time. It was only a matter of a few days or perhaps a few hours, before they make me hurry._  
  
  
  
_One day, I was doing a massage to his cabin. I was lying on the table, on your tummy and I touched his bare skin, the towel half on his back, as he massaged with aphrodisiac oils._

_Something hovered around us, but I was too consumed by guilt for being totally conscious._

_"Jensen ..." Jared interrupted me, taking my hand._

 

_I looked sad and shocked and said nothing._

_"Jensen ... how about you stop pretending ...?" He asked._

_I could not answer, because before I could find something sensible to say, he yanked me the wrist next to him, and when my face leaned close to his, he kissed me_

_I am get carried away for a moment by the power of that kiss, but after a few seconds I stepped back._

  
_"This is not ... this should not happen! Absolutely not! "I said, aware that in his eyes I could look like a fool._

  
_"Jensen, I see that you're attracted to me, then what is the problem?" He asked._

  
_"No, No! No! "I said, unable to say any more, and ran out of his cabin._

 

"And then?" urged him Bobby, but Jensen now seems blocked.  
"I ... I do not ..."

  
"What happened next?"  
"I do not ... I do not know ... there is a vacuum. .. I only remember that the point the gun, telling him ...

 

 

_"I'm sorry ... when I realized to be falling in love with you, it was too late"_

  
_"Stop this comedy .." Anyway ... you will kill me, you know, right? At this point you can not go back! "_

_"I ... I'll shoot you now with this special gun ... you will not die, or bleed, but you'll forget everything that has happened on this ship"_

_"What?"_

_"And you forget me"_

_"Jensen, no! Do not do it!"_

_BANG_

 

  
"What happened after you shot him?" Bobby asked.

  
"Jared slumped to the ground and another man appeared from a cabin. Misha was. Cas. "Replied Jensen

  
You should not have to do it, Dean ... .the orders are orders .. "  
"I could not let ..."

  
_"Die? You are stupid in love and pathetic! I tampered with the gear and the internal engine of the ship. In a moment this will sink the ship "_  
_"You did what ???"_

  
_"Good luck to save your little friend, in those conditions"_

  
"Wait, did you say your name was Dean ??" Bobby asked surprised, which made it increasingly difficult to find their way.

  
"I do not know ... I do not remember ... do not know why he called me so ..."  
"Okay, Jensen, go ahead."

 

 

_"I was trying to run in the general confusion, dragging Jared._

  
_"Jensen ... I can not do ... more" Jared told me, he was about to fall asleep._

  
_"Hey, hey, hey, we got, hold on!" I tried to reassure him, instead of just coming in front of a single boat._

  
_"Do you want to ... kill me?" He asked Jared in his sleep._

  
_"No," I said, and wept. "I want to save you" and so saying, I caressed his cheek and put it on my private boat._

_"Private boat?"  Bobby asked more and more strange._

_  
"And ... I do not know, perhaps the organization could intestarmi things in my name ... I do not know ..."_

_  
Bobby thought it was even more strange and intricate than that, but told him to continue._

 

 

_The boats were counted. There was no room in the event of shipwreck, but I could not get to the public boats. I had the impression that Jared is not going to make it.  
"But here it says ... .Jensen ackles. It's yours. "Jared muttered._

_  
"Yes," I admitted._

_  
"Jensen, come with me." I cried again. "And who would pull down the lifeboat? No, Jared. I must stay here. You must save yourself, and I have to pay for what you ... "I could not continue and I began to pull down the boat with ropes that were on it._

_  
"Jensen ... no ..." now Jared had no strength even to speak._

_  
He was crying. He struggled to even open his eyes a little and sigh: "Jensen ... ... I will never forget it" through tears._

_  
"Will you do instead," I said to him, sad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I also try to take some points left over ... the question of the name of Jensen ... the boat ... and what Jensen feel about Jared <3  
> I can tell you that it is set to become even more sentimental than this <333333


	35. Watch it for me

"I discovered that I, like my friend Castiel and other young guys like us, we had been kidnapped for ultilizzo of an experiment to mlitari purposes. The project "Little Death" or the use of children and young people with dormant ESP powers for military purposes "

"Continue." Said Bobby, who was very experienced.

Jensen did not need hypnosis, to remember those events ....  
   
 

 

_*_

_"Jensen" Castiel said, running up to him and embracing his friend._

_"Jensen! What happened? Because we have taken to this place ?? "Castiel asked._

_"From now on, your name will no longer Jensen; find another name. "He said one of the men._

_"Dean ..." said Jensen. He did not know why, but it occurred to her that his mother had told him that her father before he died, was undecided whether to call Dean._

_"Well, Dean, and you ..."_

_"His name is Misha ... but he always wanted to be called Cas ... Castiel ..." said Jensen._

_Thanks, Jensen thought ... Castiel._  
  
  
  
  
  
_*_

_"Do you think we should tell these bastards of Sam?" Asked one day Cas at Jensen._

_Sam shook._

_"Do not worry, baby. Castiel says just bullshit. Cas, why do not you shut your mouth? "Jensen asked, hugging Sam._

_"Because? Perhaps they will understand where it comes from. "_

_"First of all, they will never believe us if we can see it's just us ... they will not understand anything and believing we crazy, they will throw overboard to get rid of us."_

_"And so we'll never know because just we can see it." Castiel said._

  
_"Maybe because we three, we are special." Sam said, clasping her hands to them._  
  
  
  
  


*

"Castiel was with Dr. Dagherov who was in charge of the experiment and the doctor tried to convince Castiel to focus on a flower in a vase. He was still a boy. He was 25 or 26 years ... "  
   
  
_"Concentrate, Castiel, I want you to concentrate, your power is mental, but you can focus it through the view, at any distance ... look closely at this flower, look at him._

_You are not only a psychic with telekinetic powers, a scanner! You're a weapon, Castiel. A little death! You will be the scythe that will defend our country. You must go hence proud! "_  
  
_Castiel focused, holding her temples and striving, propped his elbows on the table he was sitting._

_A tear fell from his eye, and the flower in the vase shattered leaving the vessel, spraying water on the floor._  
  
_They assisted at all the guys behind the glass. Even Jensen._  
  
  
  
_*_

_"They have put in us this ... .what. I do not want Sammy, I do not want to hurt, kill ... to be a monster. "Said Jensen, crying, sitting in the shade of a tree._

_Sammy hugged him._

_"You're not a monster, because you are my love." he said._

 

 

 

_*_

_Jensen and the doctor were in a forest._

_"Look at this animal, Jensen. Watch it for me. "He said the doctor, pointing to a deer._

_Jensen looked at him, and the deer sent him a sad look._

_No, he could not. This no._

_"I can not…"_

_"This is insubordination, kid ... you will be punished for this." He said the doctor._  
  
  
   
   
"What they did to you, Jensen?" Was afraid to ask Bobby.

"They locked me in the cellar ... with mice!" Jensen said with his eyes closed.  
   
 

 

_*_

_"Nooo, PLEASE, LET ME GET OUT, PLEASE!" Cried Jensen_

_"The mice Marsican, Jensen, in the dark you can not defend yourself from them." The doctor said, while a mouse biting the Jensen leg._

_"Not do it again, PLEASE, LET ME GET OUT!"_

_"Defend yourself." He said the doctor, in viciously._  
  
_Sam was in the basement with Jensen. Jensen could not see his eyes in the dark, otherwise he would have seen them dangerous and furious. And then Sam just passed through the doorway._

_And Jensen heard the shouts them out ...._  
   
   
   
   
"What happened?" Asked Bobby.

"I ... I do not remember!" Said Jensen.

"No it is not true! You must tell me, Jensen, you! "Said Bobby scrollandogli shoulders.

"NO! I DO NOT I HAVE NOTHING! "He said Jensen shaking from his grip.

"I'm going to take a little 'air, and then maybe see if I can find the body of my poor friend." Said Jensen.

"Jensen, wait ... where ... that amulet that leads to the neck seems ... um ... a protective amulet. Who gave it to you? "

"In memory of my father," said Jensen out.  
   
   
Bobby watched him leave, and then rested his elbows to the cabinet in the living room.  
 

  
_"Give it to my son, tell him to take it with him ..." said a man to a woman, giving him the same amulet._  
   
Jensen ... ... .Dean. Bobby thought, eyes closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ps the scene with the flower, the animal and the cellar, were inspired by the comic Scanner - N 135 by Dylan Dog


	36. Run again!

Bobby did not know what to do.

Jensen was his son. He could not believe it.

She had to tell him. Absolutely.

But now where was she?

"JENSEN! DEAN! "  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen walked near the grove, thoughtful and sad. Cas had lost. He had sacrificed for them ... .eppure a part of him did not want to believe he was dead. Not entirely.

He just wanted Sam / Jared was there with him.

He could not alone ... had told his secrets to a stranger ... for all he knew, he might have already told the police everything ...

Sammy ... ... .CAS.  
   
   
"Jensen!"  
   
Jensen turned dismay. That voice ....  
   
"CAS"  
 

  
The two friends embraced.  
   
"Piano, friend ... I still have a few ribs broken!" Castiel said.

"Piece of shit bastard, why did not you ... You have no idea what you did to me ..." Jensen could not even speak, he tears threatening to break his voice.

"No Whining, man. I'm bad enough. I have not yet recovered ... if I could move so much to come to you, I would. Do not you think? "Asked Castiel pulling on the chin.  
   
Jensen looked him, better. His jeans and the shirt ripped.

"Do you know that all these tears make you sexi?" He tried to joke.

"Mmm ... if I were not already engaged with someone else with a dual personality, I believe that you trying with me, Mr. Ackles." Castiel said.

"Cas ... there are several things I have to raccontarti..un guy picked me out of the lake and made me remember other moments of my life, to the organization, with a Dr. Dagherov, and also the time on the ship with Jared ... "

"Mmm..non I like this story, Jensen. who is this guy? You sure this is not one of them? "

"No! I trust lui..è a kind of healer, back from him, so I'll let you know! "  
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jared and John meanwhile, they had just arrived at your destination, and went down with the plane, were approaching the house of Bobby Singer.

"And who would you be?" Greeted Bobby surprised them.

Jared and John looked surprised.

"We wanted to see her ... we know of his gift to remind people moments of their lives ..."

"Ah." Bobby said.

"He waited for someone else?" Asked John.

"No..è that ... well yes, indeed, I thought it was returned the boy I attended virtually all day today. A boy rather tormented. "

Jared felt the panic rising inside him.

  
"He said his name?"

"Jensen ... .He ..."  
   
Jared ran headlong into the woods without saying anything.

"Jared !!!" called John.

"How ... how did you say your name that guy ???" asked Bobby, eyes widening.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jared could not believe it. Jensen was there, maybe just a few feet away from him. It was a sign of destiny. They were meant to be together. He had to find it.

He just hoped Jensen if he had not already gone too far.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

"Jensen, there is no time unfortunately, I saw approaching some military helicopters ... ..."

"It is not possible!"

"Jensen, if we are looking for ... we have to go right away, I'm sorry but you can not even greet your new friend ..."

"NO! He helped me ... I can not go away like this, do not ... "

"JENSEN, NE VA OF OUR LIVES!" Trying to tell Castiel.

"You can not even move in these conditions ..."

"I'm recovering the forces ... are a super soldier, remember? I can not die, or at least not enough so little ... we have to hide, and then .... "  
   
   
   
   
"JENSEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

"You can not," he said Jensen stunned.

"Oh no, it's the end." Castiel said.

"SAM, JARED !!!" cried Jensen, hoping to be heard.

"Jensen, please, do not do it, BACK HERE!" Castiel tried to stop him, to no avail. Jensen was already running toward the voice.  
 

 

Jared could hear the helicopters flying over the sky. He just hoped he could get to Jensen.  
   
   
   
   
"JENSEEEEEEEEEN!"

"JAREEEEEEEEEEED!"

 

They saw in the distance, and despite both felt tired and sore from the cold and from the thick chest, did not stop running, indeed, they accelerated.

Then Jared stumbled and fell to the ground.

Jensen joined him, worried, and looked up to him, kneeling down to him.

"Jared ..." he whispered.  
 

Jared propped himself up on his elbows, to reach, to touch him. Jensen came closer, and ended up hugging each other.

Both kneeling on the ground, but embraced.  
 

  
Jared pressed him with despair, and need, and clung to him like a lifeline.

As if they were decades away.

Jensen reciprocated, strong squeezing, enjoying the contact of her head against his neck, testing its softness and tenderness that only Jared / Sam knew him.

Jared had her head resting against him. She held him in a manner so sweet and absolute, as if it were the most precious thing he had.

And he gave him so so absolute and unconditional.  
Just like Sam.

Because he was Sam.

And it was so his....

 

 

You found me!" he said moved.

"I'll find you always. Wherever you go, I will find you always. "She told Jared moved in turn.

It seemed so Sam. So Sam that phrase.

 

"Yes, you do. You have always done. "They said.

Jared smiled, while Jensen went to stroke her cheeks.

"Forgive me my love ... forgive me ..."

"Schhh ..." he said, kissing him gently.  
   
They kissed again as if for the first time. Slowly, romance, wonder and shake, then came the need, a growing, urgent need, and Jensen squeezed more splalle Jared, who groaned.  
   
"Jared, I have to ... I have to run ... ... they are back ..." Jensen said, breaking away reluctantly.

  
"Who?? Those bastards that keep you in hand, right? Do not come back to them, Jensen, are you with me! We'll help you, I promise! "

"No, Jared ... I can not risk that hurt you, you have to stay away from me!"  
   
"Jensen, now, please!" Said Castiel, who until then had remained silent.

  
"NO! Not now! Not now that we finally found! "Jared said.

  
"We have no choice!" Castiel said Jensen.

"Then take me ... take me with you ... please ... I want to go with you, as Sam!" Jared said.

"It's not something you can choose to command, Jared." Jensen said trying to break free from the grip of Jared.

"NO, Jensen .Fammi please ... come ... with you ..!" he whispered desperately, and at that moment something happened ...

Something that Jensen did not understand right away, or maybe her eyes could not adjust right away what they were seeing ...

It could not be.  
 

 

Something was coming out of Jared, something like a fine mist, yet compact, almost as if it had its own form.

In doing so it looked like the body of Jared they themselves affected.

Jared wanted so much to stay together in Jensen from scoring the impossible! Voluntarily leave the body!

"SAM! DO NOT DO IT, stop it NOW! "He shouted Jensen with dismay.

Sam would not hearken.

  
"I want ... .come ... with you ..." Sam said he was leaving the body of Jared, who was kneeling on the ground, rolling his eyes with his mouth open.

"Stop it, YOU'RE DOING EVIL!" Cried Jensen almost crying.

"Take me with you," Sam said.  
   
Sam looked as still bound to his body by an invisible umbilical cord. He wanted to move, reach out to Jensen, but could not make more than a few steps. He seemed tied.

"Sam, holy god, stop!"

"Stop it, Jensen! Stop it, or will die! "Castiel said worried.

"Enough, stop!" Cried Jensen.  
 

  
Sam managed not know how to approach Jensen just enough, to be able to kiss him.

Jensen was upset, but he not refused. he kissed floor, still crying.  
   
The kiss did not last long, as sucked by a too strong force, Sam returned to his body.

Almost.

Purposes in only half. It seemed as if there was a conflict, or as if he was struggling.

 

"SAAAAAM !!!" called Jensen, before being taken away by Castiel  
   
"Jared !!!" called him upset John. He had seen enough to see that kind of spooky spirit trying to get inside Jared and then get into it completely, and had seen Jensen and his friend escape.  
   
"Jared, son. It's ok, it's ok. Calm down. "He said, trying to stem the tremors that shook everything.

"Jesus !!" Bobby said as he saw the boy.

  
"Give it to me. I got it. "He said to John, taking him from her arms without asking his permission, and touching his forehead.  
Just touched his forehead, Jared stopped having those disquieting convulsions.

"What have you done to him?" Asked John.

"I only allowed to sleep for a while '. Let's go back into my house. We must let it rest; has had a very strong shock. "Bobby said.

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile, Jensen and Castiel continued to run.

"We would not have had to abandon it," said Jensen.

"You could not do anything for him, and now we are the ones most in danger!" Castiel said.

Meanwhile the helicopters were approaching.

"We will not make ever. They will capture! "

"Then they will capture together. I will not abandon you, Jens. Do not leave you alone with those! "Castiel said.

"Cas, wait, see that hole?" Jensen said, pointing to a hole covered by leaves.

"Jensen ?? Is this the time? They're on! Think to run! "

"Do you think that a person who falls into a pit so, might be able to go back?"

"I do not know ... .yes, perhaps yes! However, we would put some time, we can not risk it! "

"Well!" He said Jensen pushing it down.  
 

"AHHHHH!" He shouted Castiel taken aback.

"Forgive me, Castiel."

"Jensen, but you're stupid? I'm trying to help you! "

"You once saved me and Sam, choosing between us and you, and I now do the same."

"Jensen, you do not know what you've done."

"You can not get caught, Cas. You must go back to Jared and tell him everything. Be near him. "

"Jensen, NO! HE HATES ME "

"Tell him I love him so much. "Jensen said, crying and going on.

"JENSEEEEEEEN!"  
   
 

 

  
   
Jensen made a few more steps and then was captured by organization men pursuing him in a circle.

"Inside, and not make jokes, otherwise you will pay!" A man said.

Jensen obeyed, entering the chopper by holding hands.

"This stunt will cost you a lot. Where is your friend? "

"I would not know. He disappeared. "Jensen said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good with the action scenes, so I may have sinned a lot of to describe mistakes this chapter XD
> 
> Well, now officially Bobby is the father of Jensen ... why did believe to be dead, is a mystery xd
> 
> Certain that Jensen has a bad luck ... I'm poor boy has his father still alive and has found the love of his life, and yet fails to enjoy it xD
> 
> By the way, do not pull the tomatoes for me as I made them meet again and separate again ahhahah
> 
> I'm sorry I let them suffer so ç_ç


	37. Double and triple identity

Jared was still sleeping, but ....  
 

"It seems in a coma." John said, stroking the forehead of the boy, who was lying on the couch.

  
"He's fine, do not worry, but suffered a severe shock." Bobby said.

"Would not it be better if he were on a bed?" John said, trying not to sound too critical.

"No, it would risk sinking even further into a deep sleep, it is better the couch because the discomfort can wake him more easily." He looked up in front of the astonished gaze of John.

 

"I am not one who does not understand things, if I will could alleviate the pain, I would do it, but the pain is bothering him more has no physical origin."

  
", you do that you have to, just that he awakenings." John said that he did not want to argue.

"I can not. It is half of something much more powerful, intense as black magic. Now I want you to tell me the whole story, just so I can help Jared, of course Jensen told me his version, but I want confirmation. "

"Ok."

"But first I want to know one thing. Is he your son?"

"How?" John asked in surprise.

"You have the care and concern of a father." Bobby said softly.

"No, no ... it's not my son ... also if..i would wanted it to be." He confessed.

"Well, then let's start." Bobby said. "Tell me everything you know."  
   
   
   
   
   
John told Bobby everything. The great fear that had taken when she learned that the ship had sunk, the ship where he was Jared.

The initial hostility to Jensen, the new friend of Jared, and jealousy ... perhaps a hint ...

The fear that Jared could have something serious when he analyzes the head because of those illnesses and a mixed relief to worry more when you find out what they really had.

When you discover that he had been fired from a gun that looked like something out of a science fiction movie.

The attempt on the wall of the court and the fear he felt for Jared.  
   
And then Jared who suffered because Jensen it had broken his heart.

Jared who believed the same man's delusions that had hurt.

Man who claimed to love him.

The man who perhaps was not so crazy as he believed, because he had seen something in the woods, but now he was not so sure.

For he hated Jensen, because in any case, even if it were true, it was even more serious, since it meant that he had hurt her boyfriend even more and even more deeply than you actually think.  
 

  
John stopped suddenly, seeing Bobby's eyes fill with tears.

"Bobby, are you ... are you crying?" He asked uncertainly.

"Come out." Bobby said, bringing it out into the yard.  
   
"Bobby, fuck, if Jared has something serious ... please do not make me worry ... not die, right?"

"He did not, but I probably will."

"Thing??"

"You ... you are certain to be, to call you John Winchester ??" he asked, with tears in his eyes.

"I have always been my name ..."

"No, it's not true ..." he said Bobby moved.  
 

  
John frowned.

"Who are you?"

"No ... who are you." Bobby said.  
 

John backed away, frightened by him.

"You have no reason to fear me. I'm your friend. "

"Balls. I do not know you!"

"Tell your name, John."

"Enough with the bullshit."

"Tell your name!"

  
"ENOUGH! I AM JOHN WINCHESTER, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN JOHN WINCHESTER !!! "  
 

  
There was silence and then Bobby said softly:

"No it is not true…."

"You do not know me…"

"Yes but…"

"But what…?"

 

 

"Your name was **John Morgan** , did you like playing the guitar, and eat in the morning french fries and cappuccino at noon, you hated violence and blood and that is why you decided to become a policeman, to prevent bad people to do evil to women and children. that was the thing you hated the most. anything from happening to women and children. "

John looked at him stunned.

"It is not possible…"

"I can not understand how did you become attached to someone like me ..." Bobby said, crying right now.

"Bobby ... .." John said.  
   
 

They embraced.  
 

  
"You was forced also me to your absurd idea of lunch and breakfast, scarrozzandomi around the bar." He said Bobby moved.

"Bobby ... Bobby Beaver ..." John said.

"Not anymore. **now Bobby Singer.** "

"How ... how ...."

  
"I kept my promise, John. I came out. I did not want to make the most of a sect that did harm to innocent people and plagiasse young innocent minds, and God forgive me, I no longer wanted to know anything, nor have I rescued someone else, and I am ashamed, and I feel remorse for this, **but I came out, John**! "  
   
John hugged him strong again.

  
"I'm just glad that you came out, Bobby."

"When Jensen told me his story, I immediately felt close to him, because we had similar stories, but I did not understand, did not dare to hope that the inspector of which spoke to me, you were just you! Maybe because I was too busy to chase away another veil in front of my eyes. "

  
"What are you talking about?" Asked John.

**"Jensen is the blood of my blood, John!"**

"Good God ... Bobby, you have a son!" he said, hugging him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You did not expect this turn of events eh? Hahaha I'm sure you thought the title was for Jared! ahhahah
> 
> Well, I think you understand that Bobby was once a slave of this organization, but it came out! I hope I have put it all fit together in a way that does not seem to stride ahhha
> 
> Hello :))
> 
> Ah you notice the tribute to our actors? ahhahh
> 
> Ps the phrase "I came out" reminds you of anything? Ha ha the phrase that Bobby said at Dean in the sixth series! " you were out, Dean!"


	38. Soulmates first part

"Jared can you hear me?" Bobby asked the boy still asleep.

"Yeah ..." he said.

"How do you feel?"

"Bad." He admitted Jared.

"Physically or spiritually?" Bobby wanted to investigate.

Jared did not answer. Instead he said: "I feel bad for Jensen. I want to be with him. "  
   
Bobby took from John and said in a low voice: "I asked him how he is, but he did not answer clearly. He continues to see his happiness connected at Jensen. It may be the meaning of a great love, bigger than we can imagine, that goes beyond the love for their own health, or it can be just an obsession. "  
 

  
They returned to Jared.

  
"Jared, you wanna tell me what is it for you Jensen?" He asked Bobby cautiously.

"Is the love of my life. My only love. My true love."

"What do you feel for him?"

"I fell in love from before  
know him .."

Bobby whispered to John. "It refers to Sam. Sam knows it before him, and unconsciously understand that they are the same person, even if he lives on still posting cleanly and not family, but everything is within him. "  
   
"All right, Sa ... Jared, I mean, tell me about the two of you, of your relationship, and I pray you to concentrate, I need to know everything. "

"We met on the boat, during a shipwreck, I have fished out of the sea, we met, we fell in love, and then I found out that he wanted to kill me, but I let him go because I love him, and he me he loves so much. "

"And before that? Before you knew you in the boat, how was your relationship, Jared? "

John looked at him quizzically, but Bobby motioned for him to trust him.

  
Jared looked puzzled for a while '.

"I do not understand ... no ... before you know it did not know him, I ..."

"Concentrated, Jared ... how was your relationship before the salvassi those icy waters ??"

Jared seemed to fall more deeply in hypnosis, as if you were letting go.  
   
   
   
   
   
  
_"It was my first trip to Venice and I was very excited, although I was still alone. But when I saw that guy that spewed from the bow of the ship, I teased ... I told him that was not hygienic ... .God ... it was beautiful ... blond, green eyes ... I was sorry that he suffered, but I took it anyway around to earn his liking ... he had a familiar "_

_"What was his name, Jared?" Bobby asked._

_"Jensen, Jensen was called ..."_  
  
  
_I do not know why, but I took it to heart right away. I gave him some medicine for seasickness, because I suffered and I understood how you could feel bad. It seemed to know him, and my heart suffered two or three somersaults when he smiled at me ..._  
  
_The next day I saw him, he was looking at the mess hall portions without taking anything, and I approached him and asked him to share the food with me ..._

_We shared bites of the same sandwich, the other's hands ... like two lovers ... "_  
   
   
"Jensen knew who you were?" Asked Bobby.

"I have not told the whole. I just told him that I was under police protection, and he told me it was part of some kind of sect that held it in his hand, but he wanted to get away. It was uncomfortable to talk about, and I told him I knew a police inspector. I would have helped. The thing was very strange, but I loved him, I loved him already. I wanted to take care of him ... "

John attended thrilled at this confession.

"I gave him a fleeting caress, and he closed his eyes. I withdrew my hand then imbarazzato..ma when I accompanied him to his cabin, gave him a hug "

"Have you kissed?" Bobby asked.

"No, for several days we were just friends. We were playing football, we laughed together, there was a certain chemistry between us, although sometimes I suspected that he had something inside that troubled him, tore him, but to tell the truth, I was terrified that he had a girlfriend. "  
   
"When things have changed?"

"One day, in his cabin, he was getting a massage. I was stripped to the waist and I could feel the electricity between us burn like static electricity. I asked him if it was a good idea to stop pretending, and then I kissed him, sure he wanted me too, but he after a brief moment when I thought that corresponded to me, drew back shocked and scared. "

"What happened, then?"

"He shouted: no, no, no, this should not happen! And he escaped. "  
   
Bobby said to John: "We are getting closer to the truth. Jensen had to kill Jared, but for some reason, then he fell in love. Maybe he recognized and understood that it was Sam, or indeed their love is so great that more and ends up falling in love with him, in every garment and blinders. "  
   
"Well, boy. Now I want you to tell me what happened after that. "  
   
"I was too shocked ... too shocked to run after him. I left him alone, but then I went to his cabin in the middle of the night, and found it ... .l'ho found with another, and I freaked out! "

John and Bobby looked.

"Who was? Do you remember how it was done? "

"I was ... I was !!" Jared said more loudly.

John and Bobby looked.

 

 

 

*

Meanwhile Jensen was beaten up by the organization and locked in a cell underground for his betrayal * *

He had a swollen face and a bit 'bloody, but he knew he would not kill. They just wanted to teach him a lesson.

And underneath all that pain, he remembered other fragments of memories of when she met Jared on that ship.  
   
   
   
After it had escaped that way, cowardly, like a coward, after the kiss with Jared, he was locked up in his cabin

Li had found Castiel, unexpectedly.

"Castiel? What the hell are you doing here ?? "he asked. They had not made the journey together. He had absolutely no idea why also stood them on that ship.

"Something happened very serious, Jensen." He said.

"Woe to the organization? Somebody of us is in danger? "Asked Jensen scared.

"The only danger for you, my friend." Castiel said, approaching.

"Listen, it's not like you think ... .Jared is ... .not is ...."

"Schhhh, listen to what I have to tell you, because I do not have much time ..." he said Castiel.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

Meanwhile, Castiel, still lying in the hole where he had thrown Jensen, was making terms with the memories he had lost, and he could not remember that he had lost.

The blow to the head that took when Jensen made him fall, I'll get back was doing.  
   
   
   
_I was in our base, when suddenly I heard Dr. Dagherov with Mr. Philips, and he was telling him:_

_"This story * Sam * must end. It is becoming unmanageable. Has its own life, its own will, and being a soul, we can not see it and we can not control it! "Said the doctor._

_"But it is harmless." Said Mr. Philips._

_"it's dangerous. It puts k.o six of my men, just because they had a little 'exaggerated treatment of Jensen. It must be eliminated! "_

_"Doctor, I remind you that it was his idea the project soulmates._

_"Soulmates. soul mate. I know very well, you do not need to remind me constantly. We have taken a blood sample of Ackles when he was a child, then once that has been genetically modified, we made him drink a few drops during sleep. We wanted to see if her body would respond to genetic manipulation. "_

_"And he responded. "Said the doctor. "His DNA has become more receptive, and went on to reach the pineal gland, the third eye mystical, they are talking about the old traditions. It is said to be the seat of the soul._

_"I was obsessed with Descartes" Philips said._

_"Although the soul is united with the whole body, there is a part of the body (the pineal) in which it exerts its function more than elsewhere ... The pineal is thus suspended between the passages that contain the spirit animal (guide and reason, bringing sensation and movement) to the soul ... the camera body is constructed so that whenever the gland is stimulated in one way or another, from the soul or from any other cause, the spirit goes to the brain animal"_  
_the doctor said, reciting the words of Descartes._  


_"The blood changed had an incredible influence on the pineal gland, and influenced perhaps even his soul, but making him no harm, just raising it, by opening more third eye, and the predispositions extrasensory." Philips said._

_"And the first thing he did, just extrasensory capabilities have expanded, has been to call him their soul mate, and so we found out that they really exist, and that if called, they stick to each other as ticks" said the doctor._

_"The experiment worked perfectly, but once in operation, we are no longer able to cancel it, and now we just got out of hand."_

_"Sam is dangerous, despite being only a soul, and therefore must be eliminated." The doctor said._

_"And since you can not kill a soul who can not see ..."_

_"We should kill his body ..." Philips said._

 

 

*

Jensen was stunned by the news. "Tell me that you invented it all up!" he begged.

"It's all true, Jensen. I managed to find this object in the laboratory of Dr. Dagherov. "Castiel said, showing him a bulky contraption in the corner of the cabin.

"Where'd you get that iron ???" asked Jensen thrilled.

"It is true, it has the shape, but it is not. I assure you. It is a weapon, and you can bend much on itself until it disappears, and shines and plays, when you find yourself in front of the physical body of your soulmates, trust me. "Castiel said.

"How do you know these things ???"

"It was written in the reserved computer's clipboard Dr. Dagherov, I managed to hack with Charlie's help. He always hated. And we found that there was this device, of which the doctor it is - indeed, it was - in possession. I introduced in his laboratory with his help and we have stolen. "

"Diosanto, Cas, you know what you're risking."

"I had to tell you ... Jensen, if you want to kill Sam, and they sent you to kill this guy, who happens to like him a lot ...."

"NO! It can not be him! Sam! "Said Jensen, going to embrace Sam.

"I can not help you, Jensen. Now take this concoction that will make me forget all that I have told you, for your safety and for mine, they must not know that we know it! "

"Cas, wait, do not leave me alone in this, please !!!" conjured him Jensen.

But Castiel had already drunk the contents of the small vial. A pink contained what looked like a magic potion.

And then he ran out of the cabin.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

Castiel managed with exasperation force, to get out of the damn hole. He cursed Jensen and the pit, but then he blessed them, because then he could remember.

So now he could go back to Jared to tell the rest of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> true are the dichairazioni Descartes! The pineal gland exists and it is true that some claim it to be the seat of the soul !!
> 
> for the rest of the story is an invention of mine ... anyway i hope really hope you did not mess with all these flashbacks xd
> 
> in this chapter we see jared under hypnosis remember what happened on the boat (see chapter one) and little by little we will arrive also because they are both without memory :)
> 
> we already know that Jensen had shot jared co that special gun to make him forget everything and now we know that Misha he forgot..but because jensen had forgotten?
> 
> we'll find out in the next chapter :)
> 
> in the meantime we have discovered the mystery of Sam.- is really a soul mate of jensen, she came to him through an experiment of Dr. dagherov, but when they realized that it was becoming unmanageable, they decided that jensen he had to kill him. that's why they wanted that Jensen kill him , but Jensen had no idea that the guy who had to kill was Sam. however, he is fallen in love with him again :)


	39. Soulmates - second part

Jensen and Jared were remembering this event synchronously ....  
   
   
   
_Jared had intruded into Jensen's cabin at night. He could not wait for the next day._

_After what had happened with Jensen could not wait._  
_Maybe it was just an illusion, but it was just thought that Jensen felt something, feel something._

_And then he, although he could seem absurd, he thought he was already in love ..._

_He had never felt this way!_

_And though now he felt very dizzy, as if he had stuck his head under a truck, he could not stop._

_Maybe it was a sneak madness in Jensen's cabin at night, but had to ..._  


  
_"Jensen, are ...." He said, without knocking, and turned pale when he saw another body lying at his side._

_"Jared!" Said Jensen upset._

_"I-I-I had thought d- ... ..I am a fool ..." stammered Jared._

  
_"Jared, wait, I ..." shocked Jensen said, looking first at Jared, then Sam, - which was even more shocked him, to see his double - then again Jared._  


_Jared realized that the person alongside Jensen was him, and almost he was not a heart attack._

  
_"NO! Can NOT BE! "He shouted._

_"Jared !!!"_  


  
_Jared tried to escape, but the thing that Castiel had brought Jensen, began to play and to blink in her direction._

  
_Jared stared at him in awe, only to find themselves pretty much stuck with its twin * * as if to melt or forcibly enter into him, but it was all in vain, Sam could not overcome the barrier body._

  
_"NOOOOOO, Go AWAYYYYYY LEAVE MEEEEE!" Jared shouted, trying to push him away, but Sam was frightened like him, and he cried, and above all, it was not him to decide._

  
_"Nooooooo. Enough !! ENOUUUUUUUGH! "Cried Jensen, forcibly dividing the two._  


  
_Jared fell to the ground and fainted. For what it was about Sam, he began to gradually disappear, and then Jensen saw him go inside Jared._  
  
  
  
  
  
_Jared when he awoke, he was in his cabin._

_"Jensen, who ... the hell happened?" Jared asked, lying on her bed._

_"You fainted." Said Jensen._

_"Io..ti've seen in bed with another ... and then that thing has colpito..e me that man ... he ..."_

  
_"Jared, you've had hallucinations. You've accused me of sleeping with yourself and then you fainted. Do you suffer from sleepwalking, or something? "_  


  
_Jensen felt yucky to lie to him so, but he had to do it, if he did not want to lose him ... and even if had told the truth, would not believe him._

_"I ... said so? HOLY GOD, I had to be ... but I do not think I drank last night. "Jared said, tapping his head._

  
_"I'm sorry ... although I must admit that in a way ... I feel flattered .." Jensen said, telling a half-truth._

  
_"Oh yes? Then how come you rejected me? "Jared asked more and more puzzled._

  
_"Because I ... I'm afraid that i am going to fall in love with you ... I know it's crazy but ..." Jensen said, and realized that it was the truth._

  
_Jared kissed him, without giving him time to finish his sentence, while he was sitting in bed, and Jensen this time not rejected it ...._  
  
  
   
"You said nothing happened with Jensen ..." Bobby reminded him.

"I ... yes ... .no ... I'm confused ... do not remember ..." said Jared.

"We could not let a bit 'in peace?" Asked John, touching his forehead.

"No, John. Unfortunately not. Not yet. "Bobby answered. "When things are precipitated, Jared?" She asked again.

"The next day ... .I could not forget what had happened ... I went back to Jensen's cabin, which was open, and ......  
   
   
   
   
  
_Jared returned to the cabin of Jensen and began to search. He did not know what he thought to find._

_He tripped on an edge, and dropped the briefcase Jensen placed in a corner._

_Opened and many leaves scattered._

_Jared picked them up hastily, but a sheet called his attention._

  
_There was a his picture with disturbing notes on the selected option for the cause of death._

_Poison._

_Suffocation._

_Drowning._

_Bleeding_  
  
_It was not end, but Jared did not want to read ... stood up trembling, but staggered._

_"Jared, what are you ...?" Jensen asked, but turned pale when he saw all the papers scattered on the floor._

_Jared had the strength to get up and ran out of the cabin, sobbing._  
  
  
_"Jared, Jared !!!!"_

  
_Jared did not want to stop, but Jensen forced him to turn around and look at him, taking him by the shoulders._

  
_"JARED, LISTEN ME" He said._

_"Leave me or I'll call for help!"_

_"I do not want to hurt you."_

_"No??? And those papers then? There are all possible causes of my death. From what you know me ?? And what I made you wrong for ... "_

  
_"I am forced ..." Jensen said, and his voice cracked._  


_The Jared's gaze became vacant understanding and disbelief._

_"Are you a member or organization that wants to kill me ..."_

_"I ... yes, I am."_

_"I was believe you ... I trusted you ...."_

_"I never lied to you ... I may have omitted the truth, yes, but I never lied ..."_

_"Too easy ... and say that I believed that there was something between us ... that stupid i am ..."_

_"You're not a fool, you were right, I love you, but ..."_  
  
_Jared despite the fear, he found the strength to give him a slap._

  
_the desire that Jensen loved him is too hard and burning and Jensen telling him this that Jared felt like a lie, was even worse._

_"Stop teasing me at least. Stop it. "_  


_Jensen looked at him with an immensely sad look and at the same time filled with love, and then pulled a gun from his jacket._

_Jared stared at him in dismay._  


_"I'm sorry ... when I realized to be falling in love with you, it was too late," said Jensen, with tears in his eyes, pointing a gun._

_"Spare this comedy .." Jared also said with tears in his eyes. "Anyway ... you kill me, you know, right? At this point you can not go back! "_

_"I ... I'll shoot you now with this special gun ... you will not die, or bleed, but you'll forget everything that has happened on this ship"_

_"What?"_

_"And will forget me," he added, sad._

_"Jensen, no! Do not do it!"_

_BANG_

 

 

 

"I would say that at this point we now know how did he lose your memory." Said John.

"Did you lose consciousness?" Asked Bobby.

"Not yet ... I could still hear and see ... even though I was stunned .." Jared said.

"And something else has happened?" He asked Bobby.

"Yes….."  
   
   
   
_Jared slumped to the ground, and another man appeared from a cabin._

_"You should not have to do it, Dean ... .the orders are orders .."_

_"Dean? He called himself by the name I wanted for him ... "Bobby was unable to restrain himself, smiling._

_"Er - er ..." said John, looking wrong.,_

_"Um, pardon me. Jared, go ahead. "He said._  
  
  
_"I could not let ..."_

_"Died? You are stupid rookie love and pathetic! I tampered with the gear and the internal engine of the ship. In a moment this ship will sink, "the man said, grinning._

_"You did what ???" asked Jensen dismayed._

_"Good luck to save your little friend, in those conditions," he said, referring to Jared slumped to the ground, before he left._  
  
   
   
"It was not Jensen to sink the ship, but his friend." Said John thoughtfully.

"And he left it to be thought that, to defend it ..." Bobby said.  
   
   
   
_Jensen was trying to run in the general confusion, chasing the base point of the lifeboats._

_"Jensen ... I can not do more ..." said Jared, who was about to fall asleep._

_"Hey, hey, hey, we got, hold on!" Said Jensen, instead arriving just in front of a single boat._

_"Do you want to ... kill me?" Jared asked in his sleep._

_"No," Jensen said, and wept. "I want to save you" and so saying, he caressed his cheek and set him on his private boat._

_The boats were counted. He had ordered a just his name because there was no room in the event of shipwreck, but could not get to the public boats. He had the impression that Jared not going to make it._

_"But here it says ... .Jensen ackles. It's yours. "Jared muttered._  
_"Yeah," Jensen admitted._

_"Jensen, come with me."_

_Jensen cried again. "And who would pull down the lifeboat? No, Jared. I must stay here. You must save yourself, and I have to pay for what you ... "was unable to continue and began to pull down the boat with ropes that were on it._

_"Jensen ... no ..." now Jared had no strength even to speak._

_He was crying. He struggled to even open his eyes a little and sigh: "Jensen ... I ... I'll never forget," he said, through tears._

_"Will you do instead," said Jensen, sad._  
 

 

 

  
   
   
   
"How sad," said the late Bobby.

"How sad ..." repeated he jared crying rivers of tears.

"Bobby, I think it is enough ...."

"Yes, I think so too ... let him rest now." He said, stroking his forehead.  
   
"Well, it will mean that I'll wait with you his awakening." Castiel said, he had heard the last sentences from the half-open window and was now entered the hut with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drown in the sea of information ahhahh forgive me xD I'm sorry too see them separated, but it not will remain for a long time :)) unfortunately it appears that in all of my longer stories, there are more and seas of information O_O
> 
> Ps a curiosity that made me smile: I do not was remember that in the letter to Jensen, he had written to Jared that he had never lied, but only omitted the truth, and though i not was remembering him, I made him also say in this chapter O___O


	40. The memory missing of Castiel

Castiel was summarizing Bobby and John that they already had learned and heard from Jared and Jensen.

John, however, was not very inclined to offer friendship.

  
"Why do you allow this criminal to stay in your home? Why do we allow even we talk ?? "

"John, one second. As we know we can trust you? "Bobby asked at Castiel.

"I would be here otherwise? I risk so much if I were not sincere? "

"You should be with Jensen. why are not you with him? "

"It made me fall into a hole to force me to go back. He wanted them close to Jared and ... did the strength. "

  
Hesitated and then added, "He wanted me to tell him that she loves him ... so ...."  
 

John looked up at the sky, but on the side of the sofa came a covered put aside bustle.

"Jensen? He said he loves me? Where is he now ?? "

Castiel laughed. "Just put together the Jensen words and loves you in the same sentence and clicks like a spring. You are so identical to Sam. "  
 

  
John and Bobby looked at him wrong and Castiel realized he had made a blunder.

  
"I do not care anything about Sam. I want to know Jensen. "Jared said.

"and that's the problem. You always imported much more than that Jensen of yourself. "Castiel said, smiling sadly.

"Stop it. I am not in the mood for metaphors. "

"It is not a metaphor, still ok. What do you want to know, Jared? "

"Know first what centers you with him."

"Jensen did not he tell you?"

"Damn it, I'm asking you!"

"Perhaps, after all, Jared has not yet recovered from hypnosis, should rip ..." Bobby began.

"We were friends ... all three." Castiel said.

 

Jared stood stunned. This was not expecting.

"When you say all three ..."

"I mean...i, Jensen and Sam, you."  
 

 

A few seconds of silence, enough to believe at Castiel, Bobby and John, that all this was just too much for him, and then Jared spoke:

  
"Tell me." He told.  
   
   
Castiel told him everything. He told him about the beginning of friendship with Jensen and how it was, however, he never managed to overcome the love that Jensen had for him, Sam.

Told him how Castiel did not understand this thing at the beginning, of how misunderstandings were about to break the bond with Jensen, and how he realized he was dead until then, when he passed out on the ambulance van, during CPR, but she could see anyway.

Yes, he saw what until now had always escaped!  
 

"I do not fear death, because when there will be her, I'm gone, but I hate not see the end of the story. Don Marco tells me that I will see the same from the other side. And I'll see what else? He says: All that here I could not see. "  
   
   
Now I remember this sentence, Sa ... .Jared, it is a quote from a book that I read a long time ago, during the grueling workouts that we underwent. Before I thought to understand it, but maybe I only understand now! "Castiel said.  
   
"I'm sorry ... I should mention ..." Jared said, mortified.  
   
"No matter, it's not your fault." He said Castiel  
   
"But the other one, though!" Attacked him harshly John.  
   
"Thing? What's it about? "Jared asked, turning to look at John.  
   
Castiel sighed and prepared to tell what he had already said in that hole ..  
   
   
"Well, I think you've done good, no? You wanted to save me! "Said Jared, after Castiel told him that it was self-induced amnesia.  
   
Castiel looked at him with serious eyes and went back to tell the rest of the story. He told him how he had caused the sinking of the ship.  
   
"First you want to save me ... and then want to kill me ..." said Jared speechless.  
   
"I'm sorry, Jared ... I did not know ... I did not know ... I did not remember !!"  
   
And he even told, how it was all over.

 

 

 

 

_*_  
_After Jared was rescued of Jensen on that raft, all around was triggering panic, but Jensen did not care._  
  
_Went shipped from Castiel, which was just in time to see it coming, it was almost stunned by a punch._  
  
_Castiel fell to the ground by the force of the blow. "What the hell ... .Jensen ..."_  
  
_"You wanted to kill the love of my life !!" cried Jensen._  
  
_"What do you say? You are crazy? I never wanted to touch a hair at Sam !! "_  
  
_"No Sam, JARED!"_  
  
_"Are you ... unreason. You've just met ... "_  
  
_"HE is SAM! You were came to me to tell me how you had discovered it, to tell me of how our own leaders knew that, and you wanted I save him !! You wanted to save both from this fate !!! "_  
  
_"You're crazy ... i would know... I do not ... it's not true!"_  
  
_Jensen showed him the empty bottle that had swallowed._  
  
_"You've got to forget all this, because you knew that you could not live with this discovery, you wanted to protect me, but I never thought that after you would have tried ... .of ...."_  
  
_Castiel looked at the bottle, and then I look at Jensen. He believed, and yet he said:_  
  
_"AND SO WE BOTH ARE LOST!"_  
  
_And then he lunged at him._  
  
  
_"Cas, no, stop, I told you the truth ... I told you ...." Said Jensen, trying to escape the fury of the blows of Castiel._  
  
_"I KNOW!" Castiel said. "That's the problem, do not you understand ?? Now we should start all over again !! "he said._  
  
_"Cas ..."_  
  
_"Hit me, damn it !!!"_  
  
_"No, Cas ... there must be another way ...."_  
  
_"Damn it, I'll do forget you everything by force !!" Castiel said, slamming his head against a door._  
  
_"Ahhhh!"_  
  
_Jensen stood up, furious._  
  
_"M ...... DAMN CRAZY ....!"_  
  
_Jensen said, preparing to hit it._

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Are you crazy you both. You could hurt you both, really ... he could ... "Jared said with his mouth open.  
   
"We are soldiers, Jared, do not forget. We have the physical strength of much higher than that of a normal human being. Yes, maybe we were a bit 'excessive, but it is served! And I Jensen there are the dates of holy right, so that Jensen lost all memory, not me thankfully, I just forgot because I Jensen and we were beaten and who you were, but the partial memory loss that I had self-induced and the natural next, however servants to create a flaw in the system, preventing them from accessing entirely to my brain, so even though I knew that Jensen was still alive, they could not know, because the leak had damaged the system. "he explained Castiel.  
   
"Wait, you're saying then that ... you knew me ... but ... .why you do not tell at Jensen then? He wrote in a letter, to have discovered through photographs of a child who has found me in my house ... "Jared said.  
   
"I had completely removed who you were, remember? I kept inside me a rough idea of trying to kill you, but then i had spontaneously decided to let you live happily with Jensen ... .just that I did not understand why ... I have not asked too many questions and even qundo Jensen has reproached me that ' error, I was not able to explain quite clearly why! I remembered everything only when Jensen threw me in that hole. Maybe he even did it on purpose, that old fox, he hoped that i remember !! "  
   
"But ... but ... could tell you all him !!" Jared said.  
   
"I do not think Jensen has recovered memory in a single day ... he is still coming back, and I think the Bobby the hypnosis has been very helpful to remind other key parts. "Castiel said, smiling. "Perhaps at this very moment also recalled that last part, but if this were not so, we will tell him that you are his soulmates, when you see him again !! Hey, there's a cold beer, here ?? "Castiel asked, trying to escape the continuous Jared questions.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that this story is already so messed up and the translation becomes even more difficult to understand ahhah xd
> 
> I try to make it more understandable:
> 
> Cas discovers that Sam and Jared are the same person, warns Jensen, then drinks the potion for forget, so their leaders can not find out by going to his brain.
> 
> Unfortunately once Cas has forgotten, tries to kill Jared ahhah did not know anymore that he was Sam.
> 
> Jensen is angry and by a punch, tells it all again but then Cas beats him again.... why it is essential that they forget everything to save themselves by their own leaders and to be able to save Jared from their leaders xd
> 
> This is the summary xd
> 
> the next will be the memory of Jensen, then we will also see Jared deal with what is for him Jensen, as has happened to the other, then finally we should have ended up a bit with your explanation ... not to mention that the two will meet in a dream <3333
> 
> Hello and thanks to all those who have the patience to follow this story and these long explanations: D
> 
> Ps the phrase:
> 
> "I do not fear death, because when there will be her, I'm gone, but I hate see not the end of the story. Don Marco tells me that I will see the same from the other side. And I'll see what else? says: All that here I could not see. "is the book Forever - Susanna Tamaro


	41. The last memory of Jensen

"Nooo, PLEASE, LET ME GET OUT, PLEASE!" Cried Jensen

"The mice Marsican, Jensen, in the dark you can not defend yourself from them." The doctor said, while a mouse biting the Jensen leg.

"Not do it again, PLEASE, LET ME GET OUT!"

"Defend yourself." He said the doctor, viciously.  
   
Sam was in the basement with Jensen. Jensen could not see his eyes in the dark, otherwise he would have seen them dangerous and furious. And then Sam just passed through the doorway.

And Jensen heard the shouts them out ....  
   
   
   
When the door opened again, quickly up the ladder and watched in horror as the above devastated plan.

Plants upside down, broken glass, porcelain plates to split the ground and injured people from a closet cadutogli him or other more or less heavy things, shouting and running away.  
   
"NO! ENOUGH! ENOUGH! "He cried Jensen at a Sam eyed blacks as night.

"You went out. I open the door for you. "Said Sam cold.

"Sam, please stop!" She begged.

"They will not ever hurt or kill you!" He said.

"All right, all right, they will do not make me hurt, but now embrace me. Only, hug me! "  
   
Sam gave in and threw herself into his arms.

  
The blacks eyes disappeared and began to sob.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Schhh ... we will say that ... .diremo that has been a subject unidentified esp ... no one will ever know ... quiet .." Jensen told him, rincuorandolo.

"You do not understand. I worry about you. Here you will never be happy! "Sam said.

"Yes but. As long as I have you with me, I'm happy, Sam. " Jensen said, stroking his hair.  
   
 

 

 

This was the memory of Jensen. the memory that he had not wanted to share with Bobby.

Not out of malice, but out of love. Bobby did not think that the love of his life was a monster. he was it..

Not Sam. Not Jared. Oh, how he missed.


	42. I love Jensen, but I'm beginning to love even Sam

  
Jared was asleep, again under hypnosis. He stood outside the hut Bobby sitting on tile in the grass. The same where he was sitting Jensen.  
 

 

"Can you hear me, Jared?" Bobby asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Well ... .cominciamo ..."

"Wait," Jared stopped him. "This ... this heat is normal? I feel hot tiles beneath me and hot chills ... cross my back .. "  
 

 

Bobby sighed deeply. It was the spot where he had sat Jensen for hypnosis. He did not believe that the relationship with his son came up to that point, but he was impressed and even a little 'proud.

"Yes, Jared, is normal. Now listen to me .. "

"Yes. Okay ... "  
   
"We talked about the memories on nave..now, i want you to tell me how you felt after Jensen, when you meet him after the wreck ... when you did not remember who it was ..."  
 

"I ... .proietion ... I think ... when I saw it in the water so helpless and frightened ... ... I immediately had the instinct to protect him ..."

"And when you began to speak, instead?"

"I was ... I was hurt ... Jensen drove me ... was afraid of me and I was inexplicably hurt ... I did not want that I might depart .."

"Why?" Inquired Bobby.

"I do not know ... I wanted to be near him ..."

"And then? "

"After ... do not know ... we started joking ... Jensen liked ... was cheerful, funny, despite what had happened, and the amnesia ... ... felt a deep affection and tenderness motion towards the unknown ... I wanted him near ... I did not want to be alone ... "

  
"That's why you asked him to go and stay in your home?"

"At first I thought to do so only for generosity to someone like me, it was very unfortunate ... ... but then I realized that I did it for myself ... I saw Jensen as if it was my best friend ... even if i do not know him it was as if I knew him always .. "

  
"When did you realize you were starting to have feelings for him?"

"The morning after! We woke embraced because I asked him to sleep in the bed with me, because I saw him upset to prowl the kitchen at night, saying that he had had a nightmare. We slept together but nothing happened ... .to awakening though we were hugged and I felt like I had slept in paradise. "  
 

  
"Mmm ... listen Jared ... never mind the flashback of all your knowledge ... do you feel to tell me what it's really for you, Jensen?"

"I ... I do not know ..."

"Try it. No, wait, let's start with the simplest things ... because you're feel bad when he's not there? "

  
"Because I ... I'm ... I'm in love.

"Why, Jared? Why are you in love with him? "  
 

  
_Because he has always been there for me. He has always been protected me as a child. It did not protect from monsters or from the people who hurt me, because I was invisible and no one could do with it, but I was protecting myself._

  
_"Gods of the sky." They said Bobby, John and Castiel simultaneously._   


  
"Sam? S-Are you? "Asked Bobby.

Yes. Sam replied. He had the same voice as Jared, but more muffled. Bobby was happy to have driven the first recorder.  
   
"Continue ... keep talking." Bobby said. "What do you mean that protected you from yourself?"  
 

  
_I was INVISIBLE. I did not exist for others. You have no idea what it means when you do not exist for anybody? All, ALL believe they know and use this word at random and but I was REALLY so "_

"Calm down, calm down Sam." Bobby said.

_I hated myself ... I would have torn apart intentionally myself, if it were not for Jensen. He was always there beside me to comfort me, to tell me sweet words, to tell me that he would never abandon me ... and it was there that I realized ... you understand that just that one person believes in you, because you might exist!_

  
_"And how did you feel?" Asked Bobby._

_Loved._

"Mmm ... try to explain to me ... tell us more details of this love, Sam. From what else you understood that Jensen was in love with you, besides the protective instinct that had to you? "

  
_That could have a thousand friends ... but he chose me. He wanted to be with me. Just with me ... always me ..._  


  
_"A total and absolute co-dependent relationship ... But things were not always easy, do not you, Jared? I bet that sometimes litigavate, because you were afraid that to end ... "_

Jared / Sam wept silently.  
 

  
_I was always afraid that Jensen would shy away from me, as do many children with their imaginary friends ... but Jensen seemed to understand ... .that I was different ... that I was anything more than an imaginary friend ... he was afraid that at any moment vanishing all'altro..per my fault or his fault ... and he did not accept it ... he put all of himself to calm me, that never would have happened ... that I would never lasciato..e to make me feel more comfortable ... isolated himself from all . "_

  
_"He must have suffered a lot." Said Bobby sad about the fate of his son._

It was what I thought ... but I found out it was not so ... Jensen was happy ONLY when he was with me ... if he was with others, was infelice..continuava looking around, waiting for the moment when I would be back, forward, and if tardavo, it was panic ...  
 

"A sick and unhealthy relationship, which has done nothing but hurt ..." John said, unable to keep quiet.  
 

  
_NO! Sam yelled, hurt by those words NO, you do not understand ... it was not ... it was not a bad thing ... it was ... it was ... LOVE!_  
 

  
"All right ... all right, Sam. Now calm down. My congratulations, John. "He said Bobby, trimming glared at John.  
 

  
_We were happy when we were together ... I always said to Jensen that I felt guilty about the fact of making it infelice..per chain him to me, and he told me I could not have wished for a more gentle chain even if it were gold and he had surrounded candy ... and that if I was with him, he was HAPPY._  


  
"Hmm ... looks like a brotherly bond to the extreme, but very strong ... as has happened that has become LOVE, Sam? When there you realized? "  
 

  
_We're not stupid ... we have always known not to have a normal relationship normal brothers ... a little brother not disappears always to go somewhere, returning from his brother without sapergli say where he was. Normal brothers do not have the absolute knowledge that they can see each other only with each other, and no one will ever see them together ... .dei normal brothers do not have the knowledge and the yearning together, which exists only when his brother is with him. Normal siblings have the same father, the same mother, the same blood and the same chromosomes. We do not! This changed the outlook. We knew we belonged and belong to us, but not as brothers who had the same blood, but as of ... soul mates ..._  
 

  
"So it's SO that you felt." He also told Bobby.

_There was no need that we felt ... we told the Jensen eyes on me ... as we grew, changed._

_more and more changed his way of looking at me, studying my body._

_He loved me and not like a brother._

_We could have been like brothers ... but it was not so. For neither of us ..._  
   
   
Bobby took a deep breath before asking Sam the hardest thing.

"When your relationship has become ... .intimo ... it was ... very painful?"

  
_Oh ... .oh no ... yeah, right ... initially, but then it was like ... how to reach ecstasy! It was like listen to the tales they tell you that in the beginning there were hybrids, beings with two heads, two legs, two arms and two sexes, and then God divided them and by that time everyone was going in the world to seek his half. Here it is. It was as if I riunissi with my primordial part. A blaze of pain, completeness, happiness, ecstasy. A wholeness that I had never heard ... even more than I could have felt if percepissi of being at one with my body!_  
 

  
"Sam ... you can not quite remember what happens to you when you disappear?"

_No! I only remember that I disappear, I dissolve ... and then float into a bottomless darkness ... then nothing. Maybe back in my body, but I do not remember!_

  
_"And when you return? Do not you remember where you were a moment before returning to Jensen? "_

_It's the same. It is as if I woke up from a long sleep ... I'm back in the deep darkness, they float and the next moment they are new to him. I do not remember other moments, although sometimes I happened to know the meaning of things, without knowing why. Probably aftermath of Jared's life ..._   


 

"Mmm ... Sam, you said you do not know where you are when you're not with Jensen. And now? Yet deep in the dark? "

_No I do not know. I'm sleeping. I feel the tiles beneath me. It's like I'm ... I'm Jared._

"Yes, Sam. Jared Six. You've always been him. This is an important thing on which we should work for ... "

_No Please. I do not want to be Jared. If he is, I can not go to Jensen when I want. Let me go, please! Sam fidgeted._

"Sam, calm down !!"

_"I WANT EXIIIIIIIT !!" shouted Sam, and at that time saw just like a projection of Jared to try to get out of it, but at the same time, restrained._

  
"Sam calm down !! You can not help Jensen in this state. You know it? If you love it you have to really know you take care of yourself and not annul for him, that will help him. "The Bobby said excitedly.

Sam / Jared began to weep silently.

_Oh, my love for him is so..so. strong .. ... I can not love him less ... I can not ..._

"Sam! I'm not telling you to love him less ... I'm telling you to love Him so that your love for him, his strength, not your weakness and even the her! "Bobby said, stroking his face, smiling sweetly at him.

_I'm not sure to succeed ... Sam said, weeping._

"You have to, Jared, you must do it for him. Stop concentrating on how much you love him, and begins to love him without thinking, but without sacrificing yourself. Jensen needs you, around you. not you broken in half. "

_"I'm not Jared, it's Sam ..."_

"That's where you're wrong ..." he said again softly.

  
Sam stood up, still with closed eyes, and went to meet Bobby, hugging him.  
 

"How can I do to help Jensen, if I can not even be reunited me with my soul?" He asked, and Bobby knew that Jared was now talking.

"You will make it. We'll help us. You remember everything now? "he asked.

"Just what I said in my sleep ... I also remember another ..." Jared admitted.

" If you promise me that you will not have a shock, I'll left listen to you this tape. You will be affected by your own words. "He said Bobby smiled.  
   
Jared smiled heart, and then smiled even John, who looked at him proud, though still frightened.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

   
Jared had listened to the tape alone.

Bobby and John thought that he needed to spend some 'alone with Sam.  
   
Jared had listened to the whole tape and was moved.  
   
Sam was so sweet ...

Oh, sweet, so far.

How deep and all-was to be his love for Jensen!

Even to induce him to get hurt physically just to be near him, in order to protect him, to love him!

How could two soul mates as they remain separate? It was not fair that they were separated.

Two soul mates as they should always be together!  
 

Jared was touched, thinking with what yearning and love, Sam loved Jensen.

  
He was moved and his heart became a balloon, when he thought about how they met and how long they should love.

He stayed in daydream, when he thought about how many times Jensen was in love with Sam and how many times Sam came back to him, always, without being able to avoid unintentionally avoid!

Then again, she threw her head against the sofa cushion, and cried harder, sobbing, when fully realized that trying tenderness for Sam and Sam for estimating how he felt, was in fact to himself he felt such tenderness and yearning!

  
It was him. It was he who did all these things, to feel all those things, and now the power of that realization hit him like a train.

Well, now that he knew who she was and how much love Sam loved his Jensen, he adored Sam and heads for perhaps the first time, the true meaning of loving one's soul.

Of course, he could never love himself more than loved Jensen, but it was still a good sign.  
   
Then you hear the voices coming from the kitchen.

muffled voices.

He knew he was not supposed to eavesdrop, but he did it anyway.

The door was a little 'half-closed, so he could see inside.

  
John and Bobby were in the kitchen alone that they had coffee. No trace of Castiel.  
 

  
"I am ashamed for abandoning him ... .John ..." Bobby said plan.

"Schhhh" John warned him.

"Quiet, do not feel ....." Bobby said, referring to Jared and Castiel.

"You never know…"

"It was my son ... John ... and I left ... maybe pensa..forse for life thought that his father hates him ... maybe he hates me .."

"Bobby, you did it to protect him. I'm sure that Jensen does not hate you. "John told him.  
   
Jared gasped in surprise. Jensen is son of Bobby?

 

"You think that you will tell him?"

"I do not know. Jensen has too many problems ... a piece of news so, would shake him even deeper and I do not want ... I just want that he to be comfortable ... John ... I did everything ... "and lowered his voice even more. "I have done everything to protect dall'organizzazione..me came away hoping that in this way I would have protected, and those sons of bitches have got the same."

  
"Revenge, probably ... because you ran away ..."

"I should never have let him ... leave him alone, my family ... I should take him and Ellen with me ..." Bobby said.

"By the way, you are no longer in touch with Ellen, do you? It's his mother..possibile who does not know what happened to his son? "

"I ... I have no more contact with Ellen for a long ... long time ..." Bobby frowned.

"I get it. I'll help you find her again, if necessary. "

"John ... John ... oh .scoprire that Jensen is my son ..."

"I understand you, Bobby. I understand much of what you believe. I felt like you, when I thought Jared was my son. "He said John.  
   
Bobby and Jared widened her mouth, simultaneously.

  
"Did you think your son Jared was ??" asked Bobby.

"Yes. Mary and I, we have a story ... we loved each other ... he wanted to leave her husband ... but then she became pregnant ... I suspected that the baby was mine, but I did the test and was negative, of course without the knowledge of her husband. She then, when she became pregnant, she was too afraid that if she separated, her husband would take away the baby, and remained with him .... "

  
"What a sad story ... but it was not your, then."

"No ... but I would have liked ... and I do not deny you that when I look at Jared, I wish it were true even now ..." she said John, let out a tear.  
 

Jared was in tears and totally shocked by what he had heard. He tried to concentrate on Jensen, to distract from what he had just found out about John.

He and his mother had had an affair !!

But Bobby was really the father of Jensen!

And risked he not know never !!  
 

  
He started to move away from the door, thinking that anyway between John and Bobby was a very strong affection, but one particular made him even linger a few seconds it ...

Bobby had put a hand over to John, to comfort him, and he is not portrayed hand.

 Only very strong affection ... or maybe not ... Jared thought, with a smile, going away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joking flurry of John and Bobby between 3-2-1 viaaaaaaa. Ahahhaha well, I hope you enjoyed the various twists! : p
> 
> presumably there was something between Bobby and John even before .... how do you take? ahahhaha
> 
> However .... Jared is starting to realize the deep feelings he feels, and now perhaps is beginning to love even Sam himself ... that ... that was basically what was said a long time ago, right? Stubborn.
> 
> sorry for the mistakes ... I know that the end is not understood very well but virtually jared think that jensen the risk of not knowing never..sicuramente will tell him ^^


	43. For Christmas I want my soulmate-  first part

Jensen was in a dark place, with the light mist.

He could not distinguish the place nor to recognize it. It all seemed so confusing. He could not remember and head ached a lot.

Then he saw a familiar figure, recognized her and suddenly changed the place, dissipating the fog and flooding light over that place.

It was he to do so, with his presence ??  
 

The figure of Jared was clear now. he looked at him from top to bottom and was dressed all in red trousers and soft fleece. Who knows if it was Sam actually. Oh, what did it matter. It was the same person, after all!

"Are you ..." he said, unsure of how he had to call it.

Jared / Sam smiled. An amiable smile.

Jensen reached out undecided. She was afraid to touch it, as if, once he did, he could disappear.

She touched his shoulder. It was REAL.

She hugged him. He hugged him tightly. Squeezed.  
Jared / Sam squeezed back, intensely kissing him on the head and cheek.

  
Jensen turned to look at him. He did not understand. It seemed different ... ..  
 

  
"I missed you so much to feel bad. Wait, you're Sam, right? Or maybe you Jared? "He asked, hoping not to offend him.

"I'm Sam." He said. It did not seem offended. "Do you remember what day is today?"

"No," said Jensen sincere, heartbroken.

"It's Christmas, my love." Sam said, brightening.

"No ...." He said Jensen thrilled.

"Yes, but ... come on ..." he said, taking his hand and bringing it into a space where there was un'abete dotted by dozens of white and yellow strands.

"Do you remember, Jensen? Do you remember when you and I were doing the Christmas tree? "She asked.

"Mom always wondered how I did every time to be so good to be alone ..." Jensen thought with a touch of nostalgia, but also with a hint of sweetness.  
   
"Come, let's eat." He Said Sam accompanying him to a table not far away.

Jensen looked at the table set with green lasagna and turkey, ham and melon, potato chips and shellfish.

Jensen still could not eat quiet. He kept watch Sam, who seemed to change appearance whenever he turned his sight. Just before he was smiling, radiant, incorporeal, and a moment later a moment later still from his mouth came out streams of blood.

  
"NO !!!" she cried Jensen flapping his arms on the table.

"Jensen? What happens?"

"Tu..tu you came out of your mouth ... blood ... oh God ..."

Sam came back to him and kissed him softly.

Jensen's eyes narrowed with a twinge of sorrow and sadness and shook more shoulders, like not wanting to let go off.

  
"Hey, everything's fine, everything's fine. I'm here and I'm not injured. I do not go. "He said that seeing Sam Jensen seemed on the verge of tears.

"I ... really you? You look different. "

Sam looked at him with a penetrating gaze and then said: "Yes, I am. Trust me, Jensen, eat these dishes. "

"O-ok ...."  
   
 

During the meal, Jensen seemed to calm down, and calm down. It really was all delicious.

"Wait, something is still missing." Beaming Sam said, coming to him and giving him a red packet.

"Merry Christmas, love." he told him.

"Sam ... I have nothing for you." He said Jensen broken.

"Are you sure? Because I think I have my own gift in front of me! "Sam said, beaming.

Jensen gave him another kiss.

"Open it." he encouraged.  
   
Jensen opened it and the gift turned out to be two cups! They were both half-white, half red, but on each there was a different writing. Of a cup was written SOUL, on the other, MATE.

Jensen opened his mouth in disbelief.

He stood stunned staring at the word divided into two: Soulmate. Within a very short his eyes filled with tears, melting the heart of Sam.

 

"You can choose to believe that I was referring to you as my gift, or you meant one of those cups, as they are both, but I were you I would think both." Sam said jokingly.

Jensen smiled sweetly, then Sam asked:

"Do you know what that means?"

Jensen nodded. "And you?" Jensen asked yet.

"Yes. Castiel came back to me ... from us ... and told us everything. The returned memory when you did tumbling in that hole, "he laughed. "And you?"

"The beatings of those sons of bitches of my bosses, and the pain of losing you again, I bet. I remember everything, Sam. I remember Cas tells me of the mad experiment of Dr. Dagherov ... "

"Then you also know that Cas did not really wanted to hurt me, right? When he realized what he has done, he has done everything to protect us. "

Jensen nodded sadly and then stared again.

 "Come here." Jensen said, spreading his arms and Sam went into the arm, astride, hugging him.  
   
Jensen sighed. "I have see you did not come back over and I was wondering ..."

"Yes I know. Excuse me, it is that ... since you told my myself the truth, it's tougher to get out from the body ... "

A penetrating stab of pain came over him like a thousand shards of glass.

"Jared, Jared, Jared ..."

"Hey, it's okay, calm down, he's fine." She told him Sam.

"He hates me? You hate me ?? "Jensen asked.

"No, Jensen, no, you know it's not so."

"I did a terrible thing. I never wanted to. "Jensen groaned like a wounded puppy.

"Jensen ..."

"I had no idea ... I had no idea you were a soul that ... is separated from the body in this way ... I had no idea of making you feel so hurt ..."

"Jensen, you did not me! Jensen, did you realize that you and I are soul mates ?? Probably even they thought they achieve this, with this mad experiment, but to live all my life with you, this was my real gift. For twenty-six years! "

"And you mine ...." Said Jensen.

"Oh, Jensen ... my first kiss with you was like ... like flying with the angels, and then when you kissed me in Venice, at night, in the square, it was like receiving love white ..."

"Wait ... what did you say ?? When I kissed you in Venice ?? "

Sam nodded, suddenly shining eyes.

"Y-you ... you remember the kiss in Venice ???" Jensen asked, her voice trembling.

"Yes, Jensen, yes!" Sam said, and now his eyes were overflowing with tears.

"Oh ... that ... what else you remember?"

"Fragments. You who pamper me in the bed, still in Venice ... I who tell you to be patient ... "

"Oh God ..."

"Jensen, calm down or you'll be a panic attack ..." Jared laughed, but continued to cry.

"What else remember ??"

"I do not ... fragments ... do not make me straining, please, or I get headaches ..."

  
Jensen nodded and then hugged again, and Jensen let his head against Sam's shoulder, while Sam abandoned his head on that of Jensen. They stayed like that for a while ', rocking so sweetly.

 

Then Jensen pulled away just a little to tell him: "You spoke of yourself using the word * me. *

"Yes." Said Sam.

"Oh, Sam ... .Jared ... I ..."

"Just call me Sam." Sam assured him. "Finally I am a whole person, Jensen. No longer an entity divided in half, canceled, fighting with myself ... I'm a whole person. Have you always wondered if I loved you the same in that case. Well, now I'm full, and I feel that my love for you is boundless! "Sam said.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God ...." Said Jensen, taking his face, kissing him with yearning and hugging him closer again.

 "I am so much in love with you ..." he added Jensen, holding her face in her hands and resting his forehead to hers.

And soffiandogli then kissed him on the lips: "And I love you so much ..."

"I, too, Jensen ..."

"How is it that you can ..."

"Bobby ... he did something to unite my body and my soul completely, only for a while, we have not much time ..."

"Holy God, so you're really here, is not a dream!"

"Listen to me, Jensen, we have not much time, you just tell me if you are fine and how we can do to reach you without getting caught."

"No, no! it's too dangerous!"

Sam roared in frustration. "PLEASE!"

"Ok, Ok, my love ... ok ...."

 

 

 

 

*

Jared awoke with a muffled cry.

Bobby turn off immediately placed candle on the bedside table, with a puff.

"John, help me to bring it up."

In fact Jared seemed incapable of pulling yourself up and holding his head with both hands without wanting to take off.

"It's all right guy, take your hands."

"NO! MI BREAKS THE HEAD! "Yelled Jared.

"John, a painkiller, quick!" Said Misha.

"Immediately." John said, taking the syringe and making him an injection.  
 

Jared seemed to calm down and Bobby and John were able to remove his hands from his head.

"It's all right, Jared, it's all right ... you were able to talk to Jensen?" He asked Misha.

"I ... the..the things I had to give him ... I was able to ..."?

"Yes, Jared, the cups and the ticket disappeared." He confirmed John.

Jared sighed, but then was caught by another wave of pain. "Why do they burn so your hands?"

  
Bobby felt guilty, looking at his hands burned Jared: "Jared, I'm sorry, I had to make a complicated spell to be able to do so that I could give those things to Jensen. such a powerful magic that was to split the matter, matter to slip away from your physical hands had to overcome the barriers of time and space, hurt the skin ... "

Jared groaned. "It does not matter, what matters is that Jensen told me how we can do to reach ..."

"A call military structure SQUARE WHITE. They keep hidden him and those like us in a place called - ZERO. " anticipated Misha.

"Really ominous name." They commented Bobby and John.

 "John, marks on a sheet:" NEVADA - THE SQUARE WHITE! "Said Misha. "Better to have written the details, but I am with you."

"Where are you going now?" Bobby asked Jared, while John was pinning information.

"In the bathroom, put his hands under the icy water!" Jared said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, the chapter had to be a bit longer but I struggle with the translation so I decided to break it into two xd in the next chapter, the second part xD


	44. For Christmas I want my soulmate- second part

*

"It served at least at something?" they asked the two, once Jared returned from the bathroom with bandages. John looked at him and sighed. Bobby thought that burns from a transcendental magic would pass soon, not being normal burns, but yet extremely could not help but worry.

"Yes. Jensen and I have spent Christmas together as I wanted and I managed to make him understand that now I think to myself and to my soul as a single entity. He was happy. "Jared smiled. "And then ... while I was speaking, it was really well ... I was talking to myself as Sam, remember our past and even told him that I remembered our first kiss in Venice."

"You...remember your past like Sam?" Bobby asked.

"I remembered, but now the memories are already fading." Said Jared sad.

"We must restore you together, Jared. Definitely. For this we need a particular flower that grows only on a certain mountain. "Bobby said.

"Jensen can not expect that i to play the whole person." He objected.

"Jared, you go on your soul!" This made him John.

"It is also of Jensen's life! We have to take it away from them, then we will think of my soul! "

"Okay, okay, what matters is that you were able to bring him the ticket and he will read , but Jared, it might be better for me to tell you ..." Bobby said.

Jared brightened at that. "He knows already. He knows that I am his soulmate! The back is the memory. She cried when I gave him the cup! "

" Jensen, old sentimental ... always the same ..." Misha said, chuckling.

"I gave him the same ticket, which will serve for reminders and to give strength, hope, if those bastards were to torture him again." Said Jared.

 

 

_Forty minutes before ..._

  
_"Jensen, you have to listen to me now ..." Sam was saying._

_"I can not believe to finally embrace ..."_

_"LISTEN TO ME. Jensen, is very important. I know you think of me condemned, but it is essential that you know ... that we were destined. "_

_"This I always knew, my love ..."_

_"NO! We were really intended ... my soul is MATERIALLY linked to yours. "_

_"Sam, what are you trying to tell me?"_

_"I'm trying to tell you that I will do everything possible to save you, but I need you to be strong. You wait for me? "_

_"It's all the life I expect that you return to me ...."_

_Sam kissed him again. "And I always return to you!_

_They went back to kissing, kissing passionately, lying on top of one another._

_"Jensen, I ... I'm going to wake up, I feel it .."_

_"No, no, please! Still a bit '... remains only a little more' ... "_

_"I can not, I'm sorry ..."_

_"Sam, Sam ..._

_"Take, take ...." Sam said, handing him a slip of paper._

_"What is that piece of paper, what the hell happened to your hand ??"_

_"Jensen, please, there's no time !!"_

  
_Jensen took the paper, but could not take his eyes from the burned hand of Sam, then she realized with horror that the other hand was red. How could he not notice it before?_

  
_"Sam, before you go, there's something I need to tell you .."_

_"Me ... to say ... when I see you ..."_

_"NO! it is important, I know that sounds stupid, but ... now that I know that Jared is you and that he's you ... I ... I have to tell you ... absolutely. "_

_"Jensen, I do not .."_

_"Listen to me, please, it's important! It is to your physical you that I'm talking about, I want to turn! When we were together, I may have given the impression maybe I loved Sam more than you, but it is not. I do not want you think I only love a part of you, that I had known for a lifetime. I also love the part of you that you do not remember me, Jared, and that you would be that you have become of us if we had never known, the Jared that he did not remember me ... "_

_"Jensen ..."_

_"It is important for you to understand. There's not a part of you that you do not love, or you love less. I love everything of you. Everything, everything, everything. I loved already when we met, but I did not know ... that is... I knew, but I did not want to accept it, because I can not conceive of loving someone else who is not you! "_

_"Jensen ... thank you ..." Sam finally said with tears in his eyes, and before disappearing altogether, gave him a gentle kiss on the lips._


	45. Without running away never again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After translation of the written English song I wrote the text in Italian, I had to, because the song is Italian and I have to write it as it really is :))

Jensen was now reading the letter of Jared.  
 

 

"Jensen, my love, my heart, my soul ....

Perhaps these words will seem sentimental, or maybe it will seem to anyone who could read them,

but you and I, love, you know,does not existe another language for us ...

and it is this, love, language of lovers ...

Words, love, feelings, that do not go away anymore ... that do not go away anymore ....

You and I ... you and I ... you and I ....

If the love you pay ofter, we will not remain without hell ... if lovecosts me this, I do not want discounts. I want to pay….

But I know you do not want me to be unhappy and even though I do not think of it, you think so

And if you think so, I can not be of any help at this time ...

It is not right that you, as well as being in a poor state, need to worry about my soul, that you should be afraid of what I'm willing to risk just to be with you, my love.

It is not fair and does not deserve you.

I promise that I will take care of myself, I'm not going to annullarmi or hurt me, because the important thing now is to get you out of that gang of torturers and murderers and that you take back to live with me!

And I can not be able to do this, if I do not take care of myself. I can not to love you with warmth if i consumption myself

  
So ... stay quiet Jensen, I have no intention of becoming a ghost.

Sam still exists, but there is also Jared.

And Jared is finally managing to make it clear to Sam that you need to FORCE, not weakness.

It costs me a lot to tell you these things, my love ... because part of my soul just wants to be there with you, hug you and kiss up to dissolve, disappear, be one with you ...

But it not will save you

And I want to save you. I want to give you back your life. Give us life. The life that belongs to us and that there has always been subtracted.

I want to be happy with you.

Remember these words when you are about to give way, because I know it will happen, the bastards will find ways to bend you ...

Remember that I love you.

And that'll save you.

You know, I often hear the song of Tiziano Ferro - Without escape ever again - and think of you.

Think also you to us.  
 

 

Jensen wept with emotion at that.

His Sam, his Jared, had words and thoughts sweet for him.

Jensen knew how he felt, because it was the same he felt him.

They had never loved in measured fashion. Their has always been an exaggerated love, mad, powerful, overload ... and yet also so full, and appreciated the efforts he was making to be strong, even for him.

And he thought of the song by Tiziano Ferro ...

He could not know that in the meantime Jared, returned to Venice, he was thinking, or rather, listening to the radio, in the inspector's car, as he waited for coming out of the police station, the same song ....  
 

 

  
JENSEN:

good starlight

Tell me now where I will go

  
 If I do not let what I do, I tell me if I will reflect  
 

 

JARED:  
   
... and I would like to imitate .imparare

to hurt as you know ...

but I can not

I can not

 I do not have my balance

You know you know you know you know you know  
 

 

JENSEN: I would think at everyone

but no one thinks at us

 

  
JARED: I would lose my hand to ache if you want it

I would stop crying

your signals and then

maybe I could pretend but then I would not believe me  
   
 

  
JARED and JENSEN: I would run to sav you... to say that so can not last

I should run to talk to you to console you... nothing more pain

I should run to stop time and with him his torture

I'd run from you and you embraced without running away ever again

I'd run from you and you embraced without running away ever again

Without running away ... never again.

Without running away never....

 

JENSEN:

Wind good of summer heats in peace who already know

Make that my anger instead to cool in case

you know you know you know you know you know that ...  
 

  
JARED:

I would think at an evil which we will never hurt us

I would think of an excuse that does not disappoint you, but...  
 

  
JENSEN:

I prefer facts to words even if

I prefer myself to those who pretend like us ... I  
   
 

  
JARED: (shouting)

I should run to save you.. to say that so can not last

I should run to talk to you to console you... nothing more pain

I should run to stop time and with him his torture

I'd run from you and you embraced without running away ever again

I'd run from you and you embraced without running away ever again

Without running away ... never.  
   
 

 

JARED and JENSEN: from where I ran

And stay still youuuu

I lost you but, i will never run away moooooore

I will never run away ...  
 

 

JARED and JENSEN: (shouting)

I should run to save you to say that so can not last

I should run to talk to you to console you nothing more pain

I should run to stop time and with him his torture  
 

 

  
JENSEN: (shouting) I swear I would do if this anger let me go

 

  
JARED: I would run to you and you will embraced you , without running away ever again

I'd run from you and you stringerei without running away ever again

I should run to save you to say that so can not last

I should run to talk to you to console you nothing more pain

I should run to stop time and with him his torture

I'd run from you and you will embraced you ...  
   
   
JENSEN: not run away ever again

 

 

Testo italiano: 

 

JENSEN:  
  
Luce buona delle stelle  
  
Dimmi adesso dove andrò  
  
  
 Se non lascio cosa faccio, dimmi se rifletterò  
   
  
  
  
JARED:   
   
e vorrei….imparare ad imitarti  
  
a far del male come sai…  
  
ma non posso  
  
non riesco  
  
 non ho equilibri miei  
  
Sai sai sai sai sai che  
   
  
  
  
JENSEN: Penserei ad ognuno  
  
ma nessuno pensa a noi  
  
  
  
  
JARED: perderei la mano a farmi male se lo vuoi  
  
Smetterei di piangere  
  
ai tuoi segnali e poi  
  
forse potrei fingere ma poi non ci crederei io  
   
   
  
  
JARED  e JENSEN: Correrei a salvarti a dirti che così non può durare  
  
Correrei a parlarti a consolarti niente più dolore  
  
Correrei a fermare il tempo e insieme a lui le sue torture  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Senza scappare mai più….  
  
Senza scappare mai…  
   
  
  
  
JENSEN:  
  
Vento buono dell'estate scalda in pace chi già sai  
  
Fai che la mia rabbia invece si raffreddi casomai  
  
sai sai sai sai sai che...  
   
  
  
JARED:   
  
Penserei ad un male che non ci ferisca mai  
  
Penserei a una scusa che non ti deluda ma  
   
  
  
JENSEN:   
  
preferisco i fatti alle parole anche se poi  
  
preferisco me a chi fa finta come noi... io  
   
   
  
  
JARED: (gridando )  
  
Correrei a salvarti a dirti che così non può durare  
  
Correrei a parlarti a consolarti niente più dolore  
  
Correrei a fermare il tempo e insieme a lui le sue torture  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Senza scappare mai….  
   
   
  
  
  
JARED e JENSEN : Dal punto in cui correvo  
  
E stavi fermo tuuuuu  
  
Ti persi ma, non scapperò mai piùuuu io  
  
Non scapperò mai...  
   
  
  
  
_JARED e JENSEN: (gridando )_  
  
Correrei a salvarti a dirti che così non può durare  
  
Correrei a parlarti a consolarti niente più dolore  
  
Correrei a fermare il tempo e insieme a lui le sue torture  
   
  
  
  
  
JENSEN: (gridando ) Giuro lo farei se questa rabbia mi lasciasse andare  
  
  
  
  
JARED: Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei senza scappare mai più  
  
Correrei a salvarti a dirti che così non può durare  
  
Correrei a parlarti a consolarti niente più dolore  
  
Correrei a fermare il tempo e insieme a lui le sue torture  
  
Correrei da te e ti stringerei…  
   
   
JENSEN: senza scappare mai più  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song of this magnificent piece by Tiziano Ferro - Senza scappare mai più
> 
> Sorry if the translation will have made a lot of mistakes ..
> 
> Well, finally with tickets, notes and reflections we should have finished ahhah now begins the action. The next chapter, I think I thought of the day when I decided that I had to write this story ahhah still had to write it, and I had already come to mind! I immediately thought: "But who knows how long it will be before I get to this ... and who knows how many chapters! 45 chapters for the accuracy ahhah I had planned it 30 ahhah
> 
> Hello!!!


	46. Nevada desert

A man in the shadows was moving into a house.

For him it was like a snap, pick the lock.

Almost he laughed ingenuity of the police. Leave so discovered a living target, even after they knew.

He marveled naivety, but did not relent.

The orders were orders.

He entered the man's room and aimed to bed.

One-two-three shots.

The man had not even had time to scream.

He approached the bed and pulled the blanket.

A puppet!

And now what was that noise? They were not ... sirens?

And now the raid and point guns at, that enjoined to leave the gun.

They had surrounded. It was a trap.

Damn cops!  
   
   
   
   
   
 

 

 

  
*

   
Jensen, Jared, Bobby and Misha, they were for days through the desert of Nevada in the Jeep.

"We would have done better to cross it on the plane! Jared, in his condition, should not be subjected to such a physical and psychological stress. "he said John worried, watching the boy sleep.

"It is safer in a jeep, under the sun, that inside a plane in danger of being bombed, John. You know it. "Bobby said.

"But we are so helpless."

"No, we are not. Planes and helicopters that you have unleashed against us, do not leave us a moment .. quiet. A drink? "Misha asked, pointing with a hand, planes above them and with the other mini drinks fridge.

"You be careful what you say or I think about it and immediately throw you in jail and throw away the key." Said John.

"You'd have a many way to go." Misha chuckled.

"Oh, you were both silent. Let him sleep a little '! "Bobby said, alluding to Jared who was sleeping.

"Do you think we did wrong to not tell him ... In short ... last night?" John said, almost whispering, referring to the attack at the home of Jared, in the middle of the night.

Bobby shook his head, implying that it was better that way. Jared was already anxious about Jensen. he did not need more bad news that would make you sick and worry, and it was also for what John had asked his police officers to warn about such things with texting and do not call this ... as not to worry Jared. When would tornati- luck if wanted, with Jensen- they would say

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, someone tried to kill Jared in his house, for luck, Jared was in trip xd Bobby, John and Misha did not want to tell him for not do it agitate..they must save Jensen Now !! <3333


	47. It will be sweet will, Sam ... sweet until the end

Jared, Bobby, Misha, and John finally are arrived at the military base.

John had given precise instructions to his police not to approach the base by helicopter, otherwise the surprise effect would fade, but to encircle the base anyway.

He was not going to risk anything, but he did not want to endanger his men.

  
"Do you think they're waiting for us?" Asked Jared, while John was putting the body armor.

"It is probable. We must be prepared. Incidentally, the very context that you want to risk your life to get in there, you know very well in spite of being an easy target. "Said John.

"And we both know very well that i am in danger at any place you find me, and then you know that I could never be out here waiting. "Jared said with a smile.

John snorted.

"John? It means a lot that you're here with me now. "He said Jared smiling.

John was moved, and the two embraced.

  
"You are the son I never had." he whispered in his ear and Jared broke.

She wanted to tell him that he had heard the conversation between him and Bobby in the kitchen that day, but it was not the right time.

"Jared, I want you to know that it's the same for me." He said Misha when the two broke the embrace.

"Quiet, Misha, you do not must say anything."

"No. Listen, I know that after what I did you find it difficult not to hate me, but I wanted to ... "

"Misha, please ..." he Stopped kindly Jared. "I appreciate very much what you have done for me and Jensen, but I also know that I can not fully reciprocate your friendship because of that I do not remember ... .I would much and, I swear, even rebuild a relationship between us, but not You can, you understand me? I can not right now, because the situation with Jensen ,. It is .... "

  
The words were showing their cracks inside him and Misha understand well, throwing against Jared to tighten in an embrace, providing for the want of his friend.

"Hey. I get it, ok? I understand very well, Jared. I understand that. "He said, consoling, and Jared felt mixed feelings between him tossing and turning. It was true, he did not remember, and represented everything that threatened him, but had once been friends and now it seemed that the old feelings of friendship far still spoke to him and he was happy.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

After the latest recommendations, the quartet went, past the small gate was opened, they entered by a side door by forcing the lock without attracting attention.

"It seems too easy ..." said Jared, while John continued to give directions to his men who followed them at a distance.  
   
Then it all collapsed. A door was slammed in the distance. Another was opened. John and Misha who took refuge in the door on the right, Bobby in the left and Jared, who, slipping, had failed to achieve any of the two, and decided to take that side.  
   
Now he ran. He ran a bit 'too fast up the stairs.

Something told him that they had been discovered, and although he kept a bulletproof vest and gun, had still afraid!  
   
He closed yet another door behind him and went in what appeared to be a storage room.

Then you hear a voice.

"Jared ... you should not have come here ..." said the voice he loved so much and that he was missing.

He looked at the face he loved so much, to be sure it was not a hallucination.

"Jensen ..."

"I'm sorry…"

And then the blow to the head from someone who had not seen.

"I'm so sorry." And he said Jensen.  
   
   
   
   
*

Jared woke up on the floor.

It was only vaguely aware that he had been moved to another larger room.

Just as he was vaguely aware that he had taken off his jacket and a little farther on there was also Castiel. It slumped against the wall.

It seemed more battered him.

He tried to concentrate even though his head ached.

He saw Jensen surrounded by so many other men. however, they seemed different.

What appeared to be the leader, he was saying something to Jensen. He stood and ordered to make a choice.

  
"JENSEN, NO!" He did not know even where he found Jared strength to shout.

They all turned, including Jensen. all had a grin on his face and did not seem human. Jensen had an unreadable expression on his face.

"Do not listen to him, Jensen. take your pick! "he rebuked the head.

Jared tried to get up, but his head was buzzing too, and fell.

He looked up, in time to see Jensen, drinking from a strange huge jug containing a red liquid.

He sent him down like water, and instead looked like blood.

Then he stopped, and his eyes were bloodshot.

  
"No ... .Jensen ..."  
 

Jensen moved striding and Jared looked at him with terror, but Jensen was not going to be him.

But from Castiel.

No, no. Castiel, no.

He approached him and Jared almost vomited. Jensen bit his bloody wrist and made him drink.

"NOOOOO!"

Castiel tried to free himself, but he was too weak and could not avoid that trap.

Perhaps these men thought that Jared had called out once too often. He jared on his mouth and closed his eyes, trying frantically to free himself. When I opened them again, Castiel was gone!

  
"Where have you brought ?? Where the hell have you brought ?? What the hell did you do ??? "

"Castiel is not your business, **Sam** ... .Finally we know who are!" Said a man, parandosi near him.

"... It was all a trap, is not it? You knew of our arrival. We've been waiting for ... "Jared said disconsolately. He had a certain athleticism, but the change of Jensen had put too k.o.

  
"You're very clever, Sam. I think you already know all about your identity. You and Jensen. it's not true? You will not even thank me for keeping you meet? "He said, holding it by the collar.

"To thank you? Of course ... Dr. Dagherov, I suppose ... .that what you did in Jensen? What you are ... vampires ?? "

The doctor laughed. "A new species of vampires! More improved, faster, able to maintain the fury but also intelligence! You are very clever, Sam. We do not kill. You will be an excellent companion !! "said the doctor, opening his mouth.  
 

"Master !!" Jensen stopped him.

The doctor stopped.

"Master, let me do it, please." Said Jensen.

"Mmm ... you really want?" He asked.

"Yes. I wish. I want a relationship with him. The last. "

  
"A blood bond. You learn fast. Take it, then. It's all yours. "The doctor said to Jensen.  
 

Jared felt destroyed. While Jensen saw approaching, he had not the strength to stop him.

"The doctor is right, Jensen. you learn fast. And I had thought ... that stupid, right? "Jared said, looking into those cold eyes.

"Do not fight, Jared. Would it make it more difficult. "

"You are wrong. I'm **Sam**. "Jared said, closing his eyes, as a tear came down her face.

  
He felt the desire that had Jensen against him and for the first time it terrified him. His body betrayed him, however. Despite everything, he was not used to sense the proximity of Jensen as a threat and warned him despite everything as a beautiful thing.

"Once you are trusted of me ..." said Jensen blowing on his neck.

"Anyone can make mistakes." Said Jared.

"You're not wrong. Please. do it again. "He said softly.

Jared looked at him quizzically.

And then Jensen opened his mouth, throwing himself on his neck.

"It will be sweet, Sam ... ..sweet until the end ... .." whispered as he pounced on his neck.  
   
   
   
After a while ', Jensen emerged from Sam's neck, sighing long.

"You like him a lot, do not you?" Asked a man to Jensen, while the head was now gone away, satisfied.

"Yes. It's nice and strong. It will be a great companion, "said Jensen, taking Jared's head on his lap.

"I might be too, if you wanted to." Replied the other.

"All in good time, Matt. Is not the time that we lack. "

The man laughed. "You're right. Well, I'm going to get new orders. Keep it secret and not to be found by the cops. I'm still here in the vicinity! "He concluded, leaving, leaving Jared and Jensen alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not you expected something like that, right? hahaha xD
> 
> Ps The scenes with the vampires are inspired by the comic Dylan Dog: "The Mark of the Vampire" :)


	48. Do you think that scare me ... these ??

When Jensen and Jared were left alone, Jensen leaned over to give a sweet kiss on the lips to Jared, while holding his head on the legs.

Jensen had a trickle of blood that still dripped from his chin, as well as Jared. At that moment it really seemed as if they were also united in the blood ...

It looked ....  
 

Jensen stood up and looking towards the door, he said:

"You can open your eyes now, they are away all gone."

"I do not ... I do not know what to say .." Jared said.

"Thanks could be enough ... And also sorry ..." Jensen said with a grin.

  
They hugged each other while they were still on the ground.  
 

"You pretended to drain me ... you saved my life. Thanks ... and sorry ... I thought you wanted to kill me for real. "

"Sam ... .i could prefere die ..." said Jensen, letting slip that name without even realizing it.

Jared looked at him again with that light in his eyes. His Jensen had not betrayed him.

  
"Are you ... .are you okay? The blood I gave you, I did you .... did feel good? "he asked Jensen, worried, looking at the neck wound.

"Yes, yes ... but ... Jensen .i will become ... a ... a ..."

"NO! No, you not will become ... the blood ingested by itself is not enough ... I should ... I should drain yoy ... completely ... "

Jared realized that Jensen's voice had gone and took his chin.

"Hey ..." he told Jared.

"... The blood I gave you ... will be eliminated from the body within a few hours ... you be quiet, I not have ..."

"Hey ... it's all good .."

He tried to kiss him and for a moment Jensen seemed to surrender, but then pushed him away before he could touch his lips.

"NO! I do not want that you kiss me while ... .while I am so! "

"Jensen ... holy god ... I thought that I could never see you anymore ...."

"You have ... you have no idea ... what I became ..."

Jared looked at him for a few seconds and then he remembered.

"Jensen, holy god ... what ... what have you done to Castiel?"

"Thing? No. He ... he is fine ... "

"But ... I ... I saw you ... wait ... you pretended with him like ... like you did with me?"

"Not really .." Jensen said, he is beginning to tell.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
 _"In all probability he will not longer walk. Maybe even move my arms._

_Is for this future that you pushed him you to fight for you, Jensen? He is for that insect that you have ruined his life? "was asking now Dr. Dagherov, referring to Jared._

_"I did not ... do not ..."_

_"My men do not save him, Jensen, indeed, are supposedly sure that after your betrayal they will kill him, and they will do the same to you ... unless ... you do not will embrace this new life and will decides to save them both ..."_

_"I ... you .yoy will leave it go if I ..."_

_"Of course, Jensen. But now you have to choose. Worth your faithful friend, companion of a lifetime, to be relegated to a wheelchair for life, just for being loyal with you? would you pay so his loyalty ??? "_

_"I ... I ... .."_  
   
   
   
"Excuse me." Jared said.

"For what ??" he asked Jensen dazed.

"For doubting you."

"Well, I would have doubted me!" Jensen was able to joke.

This time Jared managed to snatch a kiss, but Jensen pulled away again.

"Jared, no!"

"Thing? Do you think ... it scare me ... these "he said, pointing his teeth. "After what I've spent ... ... to be with you?"

Jensen felt a bit 'guilty and Jared took advantage of that weakness for kiss him.

  
His mouth was still the same. he feel Jensen, however, moan and was not a moan of passion.

"Wha ... what?"

"The teeth ... I had to withdraw them ... for not to hurt you ..."

"Jensen, my god ... i'm sorry..io I did not think ... holy god, i not believe that vampires really exist !!"

"Me neither ..."

"I'll go back you to normal ..."

"Jared ... I ... I do not know ... ... if there's a cure ..."

"Are you thirsty? "

"Jared, it's not the damn time for this. Holy God, this place will soon be hell. "  
   
"It will be, friend, and all will participate." Said Castiel, arriving at that moment and taking with him a small crowd.


	49. think well Cas. Friendship is not worth the true love

"Cas ... they are ..." said Jared saw the sharp teeth of some of them.

 "Quiet, they're on our side. "Castiel said, then he turned to Jensen, still shocked by the intrusion. "After you gave me drink your blood, Jensen, I managed to talk to some of them ... of course, with several we had already talked about for some time, there was no need very spirit of conviction.

Jensen turned to Jared.

"Jared, what is this?"

Jared gave an embarrassed grin. "Ehm..giusto ... I forgot to tell you .."

"Cas ??" urged him Jensen, a bit 'alarmed.

"Hey, if your soul mate is not told you in the idyllic little space you have had to confront, I do not see how there is time to do it now, but the summary is that in recent days I have managed to get in touch with some our friends here and to convince them that what they did to you is really awful and we are essentially dealing as cannon fodder, and that it is time to change things here. "

Jensen had his mouth open in amazement.

"You did not think we'd really done something suicidal before he had had the supports and the supports from the inside, right?" Castiel asked puzzled.

"I do not…"

A roar whipped the air.

"We have to get out of here, and quickly" suggested a party guy.

"Bobby and John ... I can not abandon them. You do not know where they are? "Asked Jared desperate to Castiel.

"I crossed them in the great hall, and I made an agreement on where we meet ... I'm a little 'battered but fortunately were not injured by firearms, which is a real miracle, seen hell that there is to reach from upstairs ... so I suggest you hurry! "he urged Castiel them.

"Just a second before." Said Jensen, retrieving the bulletproof vest of Jared who was abandoned on the floor, and putting it on him, thoughtful.

 

"Thanks." he said Jared and Jensen amiably gave him a kiss on the neck.

"Okay, lovebirds, but now let's hurry! They do not will put a lot to understand your little play, Jensen! "Castiel said.

"Cas, your jacket?" Jensen asked.

"I lost it, unfortunately, but enough talk. Let's run! "  
   
   
   
   
Castiel, Jared and Jensen started to run, while the shots rang out now and bustle so strong and loud that it seemed to have them at your doorstep.

"Cas, there is no cure ... for ... for all this?" He asked, pointing to Jensen and other vampires.

"I do not know, Jared, please, just run!" Castiel said.  
   
"End of the line." He said suddenly Dr. Dagherov.

  
There were gunshots that fortunately Jared, Jensen and Castiel came out unscathed, although unfortunately some men fell under the weight of those shots.

"Quiet, Jared. They are super soldiers and now vampires ... will remain a bit 'dazed, but will not die. "He said to calm Jensen Jared, watching those who remained behind, worried.  
   
   
   
   
They managed to barricade the door behind them and were descending a grand staircase, but the front door was closed!

Castiel fumbled quickly with the bunch of keys in his pocket, but then the door that was slowly to undermine behind them, a voice boomed.

"Castiel, it is not too late ... if you surrender now and we deliver your friends, you will be saved and forgiven. You know yourself that you have no way out. You can not get out. You never leave this place. "

"WHAT WILL OF JARED AND JENSEN?" Shouted Castiel.

"Jensen will be forgiven and will live with her soul mate here, we'll all like a big family, but you give up now, before it's too late."

"Go to hell!" Said Castiel, looking for the key again.

"Think about it, Castiel ... if even manage to get out of here, what do you think will be out of the base? Now you do not have a life outside the base! Your friend Jensen? He now has Sam. As we can keep the friendship, you can not compete with a soul mate, you know it! "

  
Castiel breathed loud, glancing at Jensen and as protected in his arms Jared, despite the flak jacket and he does not have one.  
 

"Who knows how many times have you been jealous of your friend, right, Castiel? You'd also wanted a soulmate who loves you more than himself and that you loved more than yourself. How many times have you wanted to with yearning, HOW MANY TIMES, Castiel ?? "roared the doctor.

"I found ... I found the key ..." Castiel said to his friends.

"And if it already existed your soulmate, Castiel? I know where it is and I can tell you. It is inside this building! "

  
"LIAR!"

"Give yourselves and tell you where it is, Castiel, otherwise we will never see and will forever be left to itself ... think Castiel. Friendship is not worth the **true love**! "She said the doctor, cruel.  
 

Castiel cried rivers of tears.

"Cas ..." begged Jared and Jensen. his friends had an expression that clearly said not to abandon them, not to betray them.

"GO TO HELL!" Shouted Castiel. He turned the key in the lock, and when they came out, closed it behind him with great anger of the doctor and his men, who once managed to undermine that first, before the other hand, was sealed. Only with the special master key could open.


	50. Sometimes to save someone, you have to let it go!

They ran at breakneck speed. Castiel was trying to stay lucid and remember the path they had to follow in order to save his friends. Both Jared and Jensen continued to ask him if he was okay, if he would seek her soulmate, but Castiel enjoined them to be quiet. If you are distracted now, it was the end for everyone.

The building was invaded by the flames. Castiel did not know whose fault it was, but it made everything more difficult.

He had lost all sense of direction and took the first door in the middle they found.  
   
It was a room that define mysticism was an understatement .... Thousands and thousands of opaque spheres were laid on wooden tables. Aloft a placard bearing the legend Soulmates  
   
Castiel had tears in his eyes, and Jared and Jensen were in the same condition.

Really hundreds ... thousands of souls were imprisoned in those glass balls?

What cruelty could ....  
 

 

"Jared, NO! What are you doing? "Shouted Castiel scared.

"It seems to me clear. Free them. "He answered him, holding a sphere the size of a small ball in hand.

"NO! WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPEN Can! YOU COULD kill them! "Shouted again Castiel.

Now, he probably ifJared had been an ordinary person, who has never lived what he lived, he would give him a straight. He would leave the sphere. He would have done really.

But he himself was a soulmate and this influenced much his decision.

"Do you think they would escape locked up here with them ??" and before Castiel or Jensen could stop it, let it fall.  
   
The sphere shattered into a thousand pieces, under the astonished gaze of all.

What seemed like a rather fatuous, light blue, she flew away, finally free.  
 

  
"My God ..." Castiel said.

"Come on, let's do well with others," said Jared, encouraging smile, that little victory.  
   
Everybody began to break the glass bubbles, one after another, causing them to fall to the ground, but after a few minutes, Castiel saw the flames were about to reach them, cried with despair:

"There's no time! There's no time!!! We have to leave! "

"Maybe there is a system," said Jensen, grabbing a frisbee to a cupboard and taking aim.

"Jensen ..." Castiel said worried.

"I've always been a champion in this sport!"

He threw the Frisbee that hits dozens of bubbles, which fell to each other on each other, rimbalzandone and hitting other repeatedly.

  
"Shit. I can not be the only one to stay with our arms folded. You here, come and help me out! "Said Castiel to other men, pushing a library all together and knocking her to the other.

The impact was incredible and above all very noisy and while Jensen was preparing another attack with frisbee, this time he hit the chandelier, a top hatch opened.

"JENSEEEEEN! JAREEEED! "

They were the voices of John and Bobby! They were right!

  
Jared hurried to warn both Castiel that Jensen. John and Bobby meanwhile were lowering a rope.

"Move !! This building is about to be invaded by the fire !! "shouted John, while with the help of Bobby, went down the rope.

"No! I will not go without my soulmate ... you go ... you go before you ... "said Castiel feverish.

Jared and Jensen, however, suggested that John and Bobby loaded first fellows Castiel and John. Castiel could not abandon that search alone.  
   
But when all men - at least twenty - were on, they could not wait any longer.

"Castiel ... for god's sake ... .Salts !!" Jared was saying, rose last after Jensen and boarded the plane.

"There it is! Yes, it is you !!! "shouted Castiel.

All spheres had been broken and blue souls who were spills, had taken steps to free their twin * * following the example of Jared, Jensen and Castiel, however, was only one ball of light that was about to be devoured by fire and which unfortunately he had not broken.

"NO!!! Castiel shouted, running from the ball, which was rolling on the floor, close to the flames.

"CASTIEEEEEL!" Yelled Jared and Jensen.  
 

 

Castiel was able for the skin of our teeth to save the ball from the flames, burning slightly. Now, however, the room was almost entirely engulfed in flames, and certainly could not climb with the ball in his hands.

"Throw it against the wall, Castiel! It's the only way you can save! TO SAVE BOTH! "" he cried Jensen.

"Set her free!" Jared said.  
   
Despite Castiel was afraid to kill her that way, she was forced. He had no alternative.

If he had insisted to continue to keep her, they would kill them.

He threw the ball against the wall that disintegrated instantly.

He looked at her with apprehension and then he saw a small blue flame free.

It seemed to be smiling ...  
   
   
"CASTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Again shouted Jared and Jensen.

"Incoming"

Castiel burned the clothes, into the fire, but he was pretty sure that his super soldier's body, would protect him.

And then he had to circle the Jensen blood. If he died he would be reborn as a vampire.

But it would be trapped at the base with those torturers and who knows what they would have done to him for his treachery!

 Better not to think!  
   
   
A hand after the other, after the other ...

My hands were hurting, aching fingers.

His friends asked him not to give up, as if to beg ...

He felt so weak and tired ....  
   
Even he did not know how to get out.

Maybe it was not really him who was rescued, but another. He not even longer recognized his limbs ...

And then, when they pushed him inside the plane, he recognized the embraces of his friends and began to breathe.


	51. Jensen in hospital

Jensen barely remembered everything that had happened since he had fled from the damn building. He remembered being boarded that plane together with Jared, Castiel and the other guys.

He remembered the arms of Sam ... Jared ... and remember also very thirsty.

There was no bottled water and seemed to go crazy.

He not then remembered nothing. Maybe it was unconscious.  
   
When he awoke, he found himself in a hospital. Predictable.

Jared was not there at his side, and he felt like he was having a panic attack.

He would have preferred to find them when you were awakened.  
   
It was not a regular hospital room. It looked more like an isolation room.

A monster. This was for them.

  
He asked to see Jared, but the nurses and the doctors told him he had to stay calm.

He was very afraid, when they tried to make him drink something that looked like blood. vomited also soul.

When they saw that did not work, they tried to give him injections - perhaps even those based on blood - but were panic.

Fever ... .i delusions ... ... .the fainting.

And then he seemed to hear the screams in the corridors, in the distance. Maybe it was Jared. Perhaps she cried for what they were doing. Perhaps she would save him ....  
   
   
   
"Jensen".

Jensen opened his eyes, feeling that wonderful voice so, calling his name.

"Jared ..." his voice was hoarse, because of the weakness and thirst.

"My love ..." Jared greeted him, putting his hands over his face.

"Jared ... .i will died?"

"No ..." said Jared, the voice of a sudden trembling. "You're just a bit 'dehydrated, Jensen ... they told me that you do not want to feed ... you have to eat ... and you have to drink ..." Jared said, stroking his hair.

"Those bastards have tried to make me drink the blood ... I will not ..."

Jared sighed. "You may not, however. They tried to make you take the blood via drip and swallowing. It seems that you can not digest it ... "

"Funny, is not it? A vampire who does not digest the blood. "He tried to laugh Jensen.

"This is not a science fiction movie ... it's reality ... much as they have transformed your body, your old body needs a little 'getting used to the change ... and drinking human blood is not something he is used . "he smiled Jared.

"Well ... I do not want to get used ... I will not want... Jared ..."

"Jensen ..."

"What will they do to me now? I rinchiuderanno in a basement? They will use all of them to study us, what? "

"Hey, hey, calm down, I repeat, we are not in a bad horror movie, where several people are persecuted, killed, exterminated. Do not they'll hurt you, Jensen. Here no one will harm anyone. And then i will not allow this ... "

Jensen smiled grateful, but then went dark.

"Sorry if I'm not very confident in the clemency of the people ... and in any case where Castiel? Is fine?"

Jared took his hand.

"Castiel is comfortable, quiet. And anyway, the world as you knew him and how we knew it, is no longer the same, Jensen. "

"What ... what do you mean?" Jensen was frightened.

"I ... I'll tell you when we get out of here. There is no end of the world, quiet. "

"Out?? If even got out of this hospital, waiting for me to jail for what I did ... for what they are. "He smiled bitterly Jensen.

  
Jared shook his head. "Your body is damaged. You and your other companions, can not be transported to jail. He would kill you. You need to be cared for ... and then you think you'd end up in jail, after all we've been through to be together? "

"Jared ... during my delusions ... ... I felt that ... you shout against someone ... it was a nightmare? You were really out here? "

Jared was surprised that Jensen had heard.

"Yes. They do not leave me see you and I admit to have them a bit 'mistreated for the poor treatment that you have reserved. "

Jensen closed his eyes, licking her lip.

Jared tried to control that pain, giving him a kiss, but Jensen moved.

"No, Jared. I could hurt you. "

Jared sighed. Jensen had often repeated that word since he knew him. It must have been very traumatized by the whole situation. He considered himself a monster and now he was terrified that only by touching it, he would hurt his. Jared wanted nothing more than to delete all that pain.

"Jared ... I do not want to stay here anymore ..."

Jared smiled. "I spoke with the inspector and he is discussing with half a department. I did not want to tell you before that not was sure, but most likely we can get you out soon, love. "

Jensen he was so glad that he have instinctively hugged.

Hear him swallowing so painful, was a penalty for Jared.

"Wait. Wait just a second. "

Jared came back two minutes later with a big bottle, taken from the mini fridge in the hallway and a paper cup.

He poured a bit 'of water in the glass and let Jensen drank from his hands.

It seemed to take a bit 'of relief and Jared was pleased.

"I love you so much." then said Jensen, and this time it was he trying his lips for a kiss.


	52. Castiel speaks with Jensen in hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, and for not having included Jared T_T but believe me, the mouse and the computer have chosen today to make the assholes ...-.- I had to rewrite and translate the whole chapter at least 6 or 7 times because the mouse he continued to delete phrases and shut Google. A disaster o.o
> 
> and since the part with jared is still long enough I have to postpone çç

Jensen woke seeing two pairs of bright blue eyes.

"Castiel!" He said, happy to see his friend. Outstretched arms looking for a hug that not long in coming.

"Are you OK? The vampire blood ... "

"I'm fine!" he assured Castiel. "I have already done 10.000 analysis and there is no doubt. The blood was eventually reabsorbed by itself. I'm not a vampire, Jensen. "

"Thank God ... .not I could also bear this guilt."

"Guilt? Jensen, you have saved my life, remember? If it were not for you, I'd be dead or confined to a wheelchair forever, paralyzed. I owe you my life. "

Jensen snorted. "You have done and risked a lot more to me. For all of us. That bastard knew that do this to you ... do that thing ... did it on purpose. Where now?"

"In prison. He will have to answer a number of charges and criminal associations. The waiting many years. "

"Me too, I expect many years, right? I'm a criminal .... "

Castiel looked at him in amazement and smiling slightly.

  
"You do not know?"

"Yes, actually I always knew .."

"No! I meant ... .Jensen, you and Jared are heroes ... "

  
"What?"

"You have not seen the television these days, but I thought that someone had informed you ..."

"Castiel, I can not understand ... maybe you mean that Jared is a hero ..."

"Yes, but in a sense too ... holy god, Jensen, you believed that freeing tens, hundreds and maybe more, souls, would have had no effect on the world?"

Jensen turned pale.

"Jared told me that the world has changed ..." he said.

"This is so ..."

"What has changed?" He asked Jensen trembling.

  
"Well ... try to imagine what would happen if all of a sudden in our world can become something that until now has been the obsession of directors, writers, poets, teenage, nostalgic and researchers. Join with their soul mate. "

Jensen's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"I, Jared and you, as well as our comrades, we will not go to prison, Jensen. there will be no hell for us, we took the Heaven on Earth. "Castiel said, beaming watching him, taking his hands.

"Oh God ... Castiel, how ... how ... they took the news ... people?"

  
"You can read up properly, tuning to any news as soon as you have access to a TV. Now only speak of this, on all channels, twenty-twenty-four hours. Of course it is not really like a fairy tale, not at the beginning. It will take time. "

"What do you mean?"

"You and Jared took you a while to figure out that you are soul mates. It's something that should be metabolized. Thanks to our small dark adventure, people have the privilege instead of being informed on what are really these entities who come to visit them ... but even so it is not all easy. Remember that Jared had his life, although he was then with you. He had a life even if you do not remember. These poor souls that we have released, however, have been locked up. A body can not survive without a soul, even if your life with Sam may have you to believe so. Let's say you can spend a period of time without it ... can be hours, or even a whole day, but then the soul must return, otherwise the body collapses ... .in fact Sam though I spent my life with you, had to disappear constantly. It is the body that draws him life. The soul is tied like an umbilical cord to the body. Those souls were instead locked up to be kept under control and right to prevent that they could develop some form of rebellion and free will like Sam. All this has had consequences. The bodies of those people, without prejudice of their souls for too long, have collapsed. I'm not dead. "he added quickly, seeing the look of horror on Jensen's face. "But they have fallen into a coma, and you will understand that now the situation is critical. The people are awakened, but now come to terms with all this, it is tough. "

  
Jensen thought for a few seconds and then said:

"Holy god, if they are like Sam, then ... can not, however, be reunited with their soulmates! If they saw their souls, they will not know who they are! "

 

"No, Jensen, is not. Sam's case was different. Dare I say unique in the world. I repeat, Sam was not forced. He could travel in space and time as desired ... .sai, we understood why when he returned in his body, he did not remember. Because he lived two lives. A soul can remember only the life that is living at the present time. It's called survival instinct. A defense that our mind strives to not go crazy. Think of the past lives. There's a reason for we not remember them. It would be too much to bear for our limited minds. Souls that we liberated, however, could not live life with their soul mate, because prisoners, so they can not forget what they have never lived. "

  
"So they remember? But remember what? Oh God, my head is spinning. "Said Jensen.

"Ok, I'll try to be brief and concise. Those souls have never lived two lives. They have been trapped long. Asleep. What happens to you when you're asleep? Dreams. But what can dream of a soul, if you do not know anything outside of itself? "

"Herself ..." Jensen realized, astonished.

"That's right, Jensen, exactly. It's just a theory, but I think we are right. The souls can not live a second life, because trapped by those fucking bastards, were forced to sleep and to dream. And if you had not another life to dream, they continued to dream their lives attached to the body. Their bodies were in a coma, of course, so you probably dreamed themselves sleeping or maybe fragments of their lives before falling into a coma, but probably all of this has made them focused. This remembering and dreaming their lives for so long, he has prevented them to forget! It must be why I once met their corresponding soul mates, have been able to tell them who they were! "

"Wait ... .so they know who they are?" Jensen said, stunned.

"YES, Jensen, YES!"

They hugged again.

 

"And the yours?" Jensen asked, cautious.

Castiel seemed to change his expression now.

"Sometimes ... .certe souls arrive sooner than others ... and some come later ... is not the same for everyone ... I guess I'll wait ... I guess ..."

"Cas, come, you'll see." Dean said, patting his shoulder. "You'll also your happiness, you deserve it."

Castiel smiled weakly.

Jensen took a bit 'of water from the bottle that had left Jared. Castiel saw an expression on his friend's face impatient.

"Put it back in place even you, I promise." Castiel said, looking at the blood bag which Jensen was stuck with an IV in the arm.

Jensen wanted to ask another on the question of souls, but he could no longer resist.

"Cas ... where is Jared? Why is not it here? "

Castiel nodded, smiling, as if expecting that question.

"Jared is a wonderful person, Jensen."

"I know that already, but ..."

"Jared is aware of the huge bond that unites you, but also takes a lot of friendship and know how much you mean to me, as a friend, of course. He wanted to leave us a bit 'of time alone because he felt guilty, thinking that takes you away from me. "

"Oh ..." Jensen just said, unable to say any more.

"Clearly the doctor's words when he tried to put me against you, they have had more impact on him than on me. I told him I should stay very quiet and are not jealous, rather they are immensely happy that two people who matter so much to me, are together and are happily in love ... But he wanted the same ... that the two of us we were a bit ' alone, without him. He thinks that his presence might ... I do not know what to say ... it's so embarrassing ... before I explain it seemed easy to say ... "Castiel said, laughing embarrassed.

 

Jensen was also a bit 'embarrassed, but also very happy.

"Love you, man." He said, hugging him. "I'm sorry I neglected you a bit '..."

"Hey, you have nothing to apologize for. Not do like him, okay? You do not ever feel guilty about the fact of loving someone more than anyone. I know. I'm not jealous ... well, obviously not in that sense. Thank God, otherwise it would have been a catastrophe., Imagine if I had been in love with you! "Joked Castiel.

"Cas ... now that's enough, okay?" Jensen laughed sheepishly.

"Ok, ok. Well, I think it's time to go now. "Cas greeted him

"Cas?"

"Yes Yes i know. I'll tell Jared to reach you immediately. solulmates damned. "Castiel said, joking, making him laugh again.


	53. Only me, always me

Just around the corner, she saw Jared leaning against the wall of the hospital, near the little machine of chocolates.

"Jared ??? But you not should did stay home to sleep and get some rest '?? "he asked, going towards close him.

"I did it, in fact. They are still there. "He smiled weakly.

Castiel stared at him, but then he understood. "Oh ... .oh god ..."

"Already…"

"Sam ??"

"In spirit and spirit."

"So it is not over yet?"

"I struggle to understand when it really started, and you expect me to see the end?" Joked Sam.

"But why?? You have said at me that you went.."

"You know I'm irrational. Perhaps rationally I wanted, but then i have need to see Jensen ... luckily I guessed that you were with Jensen and I did not ruin the moment .. "

"Sam, you do not ruin a devil than nothing! Will you stop saying ?? "

Sam looked at him surprised. "I already said it?"

"Your yourself in meat and meat went to sleep just to give me a solo bit 'of time with my best friend."

Sam smiled, a bit 'too pleased with himself.

"And I appreciate it, but now quit feeling guilty for a wonderful thing, that you can be sure that when I will try, i do not will apologize to anyone! Now go to him. "He said laughing.

"Thank you, Cas."

"Sam, wait." He also told Castiel.

Sam turned around.

" You know, what you did is extraordinary. Not only this. All. You're amazing, man. "

"Everything for my soul mate." Sam said, winking.  
   
   
   
   
Sam entered cautelamente in Jensen room. Jensen when she saw him, jumped almost out of bed.

"Jared! Cas had told me that you would have called, but I had no idea so soon ... "

"Jens ... it's me, Sam."

Jensen's jaw dropped in disbelief.

"Holy God…"

"It was the reaction that also had Cas ... more or less ..."

"Come ... come here ..."

Sam did and immediately embraced him.

  
"Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam ..." he kept saying as a chant, against his neck.

"Are you okay?" He asked Sam, but Jensen did not answer. He seemed in a trance, totally enraptured.

"Jensen !!" Sam shook him, a bit 'scared. Maybe it was the fault of vampirism.

"S-sorry. It's just that I thought ... "

"That was over?"

Jensen could not speak. He tried to fight back the tears that were about to gush from her face.

  
"Hey, hey, hey. You crying because you were afraid that I would never come back to you, or because they are forced into this limbo forever? "he asked, smiling Sam, stroking his cheeks.

"Maybe both. I do not know ... I feel so confused. I know you're Jared. I know that you are the same person ... but ... I can not see you ... as a single entity. Even now I'm struggling to focus on the fact that you ... he ... "

Sam stared at him.

"I'm hurting you, I know ... it's like i saying to yourself that I love you more, but at the same time it is as if I told you that I love you less of other yourself ... ... is insane."  
   
Sam lay down on his bed, watching him.

"Okay, listen Jensen, why the hell should you think that I can be offended if you say explicitly that you love my soul? It is one of the most beautiful things that a person dreams of being told and does not happen neither in a thousand years. "

Jensen smiled. "I had never seen in this light."

"Listen, Jensen ... .I can not ever go away ... I could never leave you, if you continue to think that is a abandonment, you know?"

"Are you saying it's my fault ..."

"No. Of course not. But even if we could find a way to tie me definitely to my body, it will not work anyway if you do not accept this. "

"Sam, listen to me, I promise ..."

  
"No, no do not do that. Please. Not promise me. I do not want you to promise. I want you to understand. There is no abandonment, Jensen. You will not lose me. It is important for you to understand. I will always have with you, but I will be concrete, real. I will not be a kind of ghost that no one can see and touch. We have lived a fairy tale and fairy tales are beautiful, but they are sad because they are detached from the mundane world. Would not you rather see me with you, beside you, in the flesh? "

 

"I ... I see you already ... I've already you by my side ..." Jensen said, stroking the cheeks of his face.

"Well ... I see you're beginning to understand. Jensen, I know that I do not remember, when I get back in my body, makes you think that we are two different people, but it is not. It will change everything when Bobby will make me get back my memories, and will happen, I promise you. "

Jensen looked for the right words to make on that occasion, to ask him what he was anxious to know.

"You ... you were with me during the fight at the base, right? I asked you to trust me ... I made you drink my blood ... "

Now Sam looked a bit 'dazed. He narrowed his eyes, then got up from the bed, without looking at him.

"Sam ??"

"I ... I ... yes. I was ... I just do not remember it, Jensen. "He said sadly.

Jensen swallowed.

"But I will remember ... I promise."

"I gonna love you love unconditionally even if thou shouldst never remember Sam. I swear. It's just that ... I would not let anything go wrong ... how can we be sure that you then ... you go on living? I do not…"

"Jensen ... the souls are immortal. I am convinced that these can not be killed neither with fire. Even if Cas had almost risked his life to save his soul mate, I doubt that would be destroyed in some way .... But he was honorable that he was ready to die for her. "

"You ... you remember?"

Sam nodded. "You know, it's not as if you never remember anything and I were in eternal oblivion. Sometimes the memory of things. For example my love for you. It was easier when I had to come to terms only as a soul, but now I feel it multiplied by a thousand, because I love you even when I'm Jared, and then is all too much to bear, in fact, have rushed here again, unable stay away from you. I thought to eat you with kisses and instead I had to strike up a monologue about how ... "  
 

The rest of the words were swallowed up by the lips of Jensen.

 

When he finished the kiss, Jensen said, "Sorry, love, it's just that I suffered when I thought that I betrayed you. Then I discovered that you were Jared, but that feeling is not left. I am afraid that if I let myself go completely with you when you Jared, betray a little 'you as a spirit. I did it once and I do not want it to happen again. "

"Jensen ... you're stubborn. Betray me? I could ever hope for such loyalty and devotion. Even when you thought to betray me, you've done nothing but choose me, once again. Only me. Only me!"

They kissed again.

"Listen ... io..the my new status could hurt you?"

"I am a soul. In this state you can not do anything to me, and not even in my body of flesh, unless I bleed to death. "Jared laughed.

  
Jensen looked at him wrong and a bit 'scared.

"Just kidding." he said Sam quickly. "Listen, there is a kind of care. This is one of the few things I remember, because obviously in my body, I think about it often. It will be painful, though. I do not know how much. Give me a bit 'of time and then I'll tell you when ... pfff "Sam said, gesturing with his hands his soul returning into the body.

"Dumb." Jensen laughed, kissing him again.

"Asshole." Sam said.

 

 

 

 

*

They stayed a cudding and then Jensen said:

"Sam, what you did to me ... leat me alone with Cas before ... it was ... he told you what you did? Have you seen it?"

"Yes." Said Sam. "I know I'm amazing."

"I do not understand ... but ... if you had wanted to stay away from us, then why are you here? Not that it's unhappy, but ...

"I wanted to, but then ... I could not stay away from you ... so I decided to wait in the hallway." Sam said.

"Stupid." Jensen said, then he added. "Thank you." As he kissed him languidly.

"Do you know what is happening in the world?" Jensen asked him, thinking that maybe he should inform him.

"Yes." Said Sam, surprising him.

"Yes?" Jensen asked yet.

"It's because of my essence. You do not even need to look up a newscast. I can hear that hundreds, perhaps thousands of souls, are moving and have found their soul mate. "

"You can even see them?"

Sam nodded. "I saw them flying in the sky. Some unconscious, floating like sleepwalkers, other as if they were sleeping. It's not often, however, that they too have of soul mates in the same place where we are, then I see them only in passing ... "

"And where we are now? With all these questions I forgot to ask. "

  
Sam smiled lovable. "We are in Venice, my love."

"I can not believe. We're back??"

"We are then really gone away? "Sam asked him, kissing him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised at ye at short the meeting with sam. Here they <3 are not adorable? <333
> 
> Excuse me if I always say the same things, but I just want to put all the possible doubts that we can have from readers, making it express in Jensen and then want it to be as realistic as possible this situation and I think that if such a thing had happened to us, we'd be a little all reacting as jensen, no? In the sense, it's quicker to say that you have to see them from outside as a single entity, but then if you're in it, you find it difficult, and I understand the terror of jensen. How would we react if we discover that we be joined with our soul mate and we doubt that we could lose it forever? After all, the sense of ownership is part of every human being as well as the fear of abandonment <3
> 
> For the rest I did not expect was a chapter so romantic ahhahh
> 
> the thing of the new world is something that maybe I will explore in the next, but you can imagine that you too, a world where you finally find your soul mate, it would be obvious to a world where there would be less resentment and hatred and where more happiness would reign :))


	54. What happened to Jensen

"Things are just as we told you. Not you are so much surprised. The vampires as we know them, they are always only existed in horror books and TV series for teens. If they really existed, is it possible that none was ever seen one? "The doctor asked.

"But ..." he was about to reply John.

"Or rather, there are no vampires as the world and the business we were used to seeing them. The tales may exist, gentlemen. There, cabbage, but they are different from what we have always been accustomed to see them, and besides, it testifies to the fact that the original stories are very different from those that Disney has given us, to adapt the vision to children. The fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm are more like horror stories. "He said the doctor.

"Here we are not talking about fairy tales." interjected Jared.

"It is true." He agreed the doctor. "But even a vampire, or rather, what happened to your friend, and those other guys, it's a kind of vampirism, because his body was attacked and brutally contaminated by a substance that altered his whole metabolism, changing , but it is not a monster, gentlemen. Will not turn into a werewolf during a full moon, and will not acquire any super speed, his eyes will not become bloodshot or as possessed. Not at all. Apparently Jensen will always remain the same, will not change outwardly, but inwardly yes. The substance that was injected it is like a cancer, a disease that devours him from within, like a cancer. A poison. This substance has the power to act on his body inducendogli some symptoms of the so-called vampirism. His body feels some discomfort in the light of the sun, because the substance also acts on his eyes, causing him to reject the light and sending impulses of irritation, while for thirst, this substance causes him severe dehydration. He lost fluids and it always needs new. Unfortunately not only it loses water, but also blood, directly from its body, even if in small quantities. This makes him feel weak and powerless, and thirsty. He thirsts for blood, but only because it is private. "  
 

  
"We're talking about this substance as a parasite that is eating Jensen from inside." Said Jared horrified.

"Exact. I repeat: it is like a cancer. We are fortunate that, however, unlike a real cancer, the cells remain healthy and this is indeed fortunate. If we had had to worry about those, your friend and his companions would not have stood a chance. I tell you straight out. "He said the doctor.

  
"What can be done to cure him? We will do anything !! "Bobby said, agitated, who had heard all that talk with growing horror.

The doctor sighed heavily.

"I would have preferred that the treatment had remained top secret, pending further tests, but it may make you feel better, I'll get, but you must take into account that for now they are only hypotheses, there is still nothing certain and we can not risk intervening impulsively, thinking to save and instead send them directly to the gallows. "

"Doctor, you speak, please." Bobby said.

"Then, an operation for now, is out of the question. The substance that was injected, has already gone into the circulation, blending into Jensen's body, like a damn chameleon. But we think we have to understand the substance as it is structured, that is what it is made, what types of acids. We are not able to remove it surgically, and then we decided to undermine it from within! "

"Chemotherapy ??" Jared asked in horror.

"NO. It would do more harm than good to the body already very experienced. We were thinking of something simpler, but because of this, perhaps more effective. Gastric lavage."

Despite the seriousness and gravity of the situation, Jared, Bobby, Misha, and John almost laughed.

"What's up? The gastric lavage is used for 2000 years, to eliminate ingested poisonous substances, among other things. Of course, it should be carried out within an hour of the toxic substance, the maximum 6-8 hours, but there is also an alternative version, which goes deeper. Sure, it's even more painful and alone, is not enough. "

"No?" Misha asked, trembling.

"The blood of your friend has been contaminated and damaged in an almost irreparable, to the point that he can not even hold in the body. The drip that we are doing, to keep him alive and feed it and compensate for the loss of fluids and liquids, may not be enough for long. It can not survive if you do not make within a short time, a blood transfusion. "

There was a silence of a few seconds after these words.

"Unfortunately it is necessary, gentlemen. Jensen has absolutely no need for her blood to be purified, but it's so corroded that his body rejects it. At worst we will have to use in this case, and we will need a donor. "

"Can I offer me. I'm the father. "He said Bobby, feeling upon himself the gaze of Jared. They had talked in those days in the hospital and Jared had told Bobby that he knew.

She had made him promise that he would speak of this to Jensen, when he was better.

The doctor seemed undecided.

"Look, no offense, but ..."

"It's on me." He immediately said Jared.

The doctor looked at him proudly. "It was exactly what I wanted to propose. A transfusion is a delicate operation and the subject might have in any case of rejection crisis, even if the blood of the donor comes from a relative, but perhaps the blood of his soul mate ... in short, for now it's just a theory, but we are placed on trial, of course, to talk about this, and several kindred spirits of patients at risk, are participating. I'd love if Jared participate ... "suggested the doctor, smiling.

  
The Jared's eyes were lit, even if those others were terrified.

"I do not think it's a good idea, after all that ..." Misha started.

"Relax, your friend is not in danger. Not are us those we have detained millions of souls into small balls for years. "He said the doctor.

There was a moment of silence, then Misha said:

"For this. It was a traumatic experience. He does not believe that those souls and Jared, want to be at peace, for a while '? I do not think of the courses which are to talk about what happened, can ... "Bobby began.

"Help them feel better? Let off steam? Talk about their feelings and understand things that they can help their spiritual path and torque? I think so and I believe this can help to give them a force more to their half, but hey, Jared's not forced. But I think it would be good to talk to other people who are in the same situation. Jared, if you want, this is the address of this course. "He said the doctor, giving him a ticket.

Thank you, sir, I appreciate, but honestly ... we do not should focus first on healing Jensen?" Jared asked.

"Why not do both? And you, "he said, referring to Misha. "Do not be so skeptical of these courses, who knows ... maybe there you meet your soul mate." He said the doctor.

The doctor was about to leave, but he said:

"Please ... I have allowed you to bring your friend home for a few days, but it must be at rest ... and you do not do it to dehydrate. Is very important."

"Doctor ... because they have done all this? "He asked Jared sad.

The doctor looked at him and then said gravely:

"Because man is capable of the greatest and absurd cruelty and , Jared."  
   
   
   
 

 

 

 

 

  
*

"Jared ... I do not think I should get out of here in these conditions ..." Jensen said, supporting him.

"Be quiet. There are still many things that you see and you want to do with you. You can not let her lying in a hospital room, and then there was you who wanted to get out? "She asked Jared.

"Yes but…"

"Shut up." The good-naturedly chided Jared, bringing it directly to the elevator and Jensen wondered how it was possible to love someone more and more each passing day.


	55. Watching the television news

Jared and Jensen returned to the home of Jared, in Venice.

"I still can not believe that it is not destroyed." Jared said with a smile. "And he came here one of them ... Thank God they did not blow up the house!" He added.

Jensen looked at him stunned.

"You could have died, and you worry about the house?"

"Sure." Said Jared convinced. "In this house there are the pictures of when I was little, living proof that it is not all a dream."

Jensen kissed him softly, pulling him.

"And then the sheets on which we made love ..." said Jensen.

"The couch on which you and Sam make love ..." taunted Jared.

"You bastard ...." Jensen said, giving him a little slap on the mouth.

"Asshole." Jared said, kissing him again.  
   
"Jensen ... do you want to look at those pictures together, this time?" Jared asked.

"Yup. Okay. "He said the other.  
 

 

They went back to the room and Jared began to take several photos and put them on the bed.

Jared two years, in the arms of John, who was trying to catch butterflies, in front of a balcony of a kitchen, beautifully illuminated. It was only white panties, but they were older than him, and seemed more like a diaper.  
   
Jared three years crawling on a brown blanket on a comfortable bed.  
   
Jared four years that embraced a huge teddy bear. He was dressed in a soft black velvet outfit. It seemed an adorable mini jack of spades.  
   
Jared to eight years who went on the horse of a carousel.  
   
Jared eleven eating cotton candy in disgust.  
   
Jared was fifteen he had a grudge because he not wanted go to school. He had a uniform with white shorts and a gray sweater.  
   
"It was a punch in the eye!" Jared said.

  
"You're beautiful! ... You're just like i remember you ... although I've never seen you so, but you have always sucked cotton candy. "Said Jensen moved.

Jared kissed him with a sweet momentum. Suddenly Jensen pulled back and Jared feared he had done something wrong.

  
"Jensen? If you disturb these photos, tell me, I ... "

"No, no, no. Seriously? Are amazing ... you to share this with me, it is gorgeous. I was just thinking ... "

"What?" Jared was concerned.

Jensen looked at the wall, then he turned and his face revealed his most pure love.  
   
"I thought that the greatest love that I crave, was when I met you. Childhood spent together. What's stronger? Yet, now I'm realizing that ... . **You are someone so wonderful, Jared.** If I loved how we were together for so many years, I realize that the person you are, that he not remember me, he is a really great person and **I love** that person. "

"Jensen ..."

"The way you have welcomed me when I've met in Venice ... the way you pulled me out of the water, the way you took me to your house and so gently we pampered because I had nightmare ... all without malice, with all that tenderness ... I think I'm in love with you, almost immediately and could stay until tomorrow morning to tell us that deep down I was already, but I can not stop thinking that it is so rare fall in love twice more the same person. "

Jared kissed him again, almost in a frenzy, and Jensen knew he was excited.

"I have only one regret ... I know it sounds silly to say, but ... despite having close was the greatest of gifts, I wish we had moments when, by regular guy, I would have watched, observed from a distance. Perhaps cross you at school, or out with friends. I would be limited to only look at you. "

"Jensen ..." Jared laughed.

"I'm sure that if also you had not tell me a word , I would still love you." He whispered.

"Jensen, all this is **impossible.** " Jared replied, holding his face, laughing excitedly.

"We are soul mates and twin souls can not look from afar. **They must love each other**. "

"Well, I would say that we are nobody to counter destiny, no?" He said softly Jensen, attracting his chin to kiss him again.

"Jensen, you have to see something." Jared said.  
   
   
   
Jared went to the kitchen to take a reserve of water bottles, while Jensen turned on the television. He returned while yet another service to tg spoke of the twin souls.  
 

"The population is living in some way, a fairy tale that has seek for some time. The soul mate seems to have finally come to an end and who could never expect, that the answer was to be found **within** us? "

"We already knew in a way, that the human being instantly recognizes his soul mate, but it certainly we did not imagine that it was enough to move some circuit of our minds, to find the answer. Thousands and thousands of years of dreaming with the philosophy and the answer in the end was in science? Where fairytales start and where does reality end? Really so they are divided from one another as we have always believed? "

"If a mad scientist has managed to do this, perhaps he should not remain in a prison. He's a hero. He brought the universal love on Earth. "

"Soulmates? I think people are experiencing a phenomenon of collective hallucination masses. They will shot of hallucinogenic gas. How do you believe certain shit? "Was telling a passerby who was being interviewed.

"There are about 1500 people who right now are putting in the hands of Dr. Bobby Beaver. Or Bobby Singer, as he prefers to be called now. "

"One thing is certain. The world is changing and the results you are seeing even now. People are never seemed so beside himself. People who leave the labor offices, that they forget to eat ... wealthy financiers who donate millions of euro to the poor ... many people have been affected by this fever. It only remains to be seen whether it is just a fever or fever of the truth that is finally getting back to the surface. "

The girl journalist who had just spoken, was in awe, almost frightened and Jensen knew that was how he appeared to the eyes of the people, when he was in front of the magnificence.

Disorientation, fear, but also awe, elation and emotion before the greatness.

At one point, the journalist disappeared to give way to another, and both Jared that Jensen had the suspicion she saw her take a handkerchief, trying to wipe his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys!! :)) So, one thing at a time and now is the time of the newscast ahhah I tried to put together the most realistic-looking statements that may come from journalists if indeed such a thing happen, and I hope I did! :))


	56. Tell me your name

Castiel was falling into the black. A long and deep black bottomless.

_I am alone! I'm dying!!_

Then he felt a hand grab it and suddenly did not feel plummet.

 _You are not alone! You will never be alone! No one is Alone!_ Said a celestial voice.

Castiel wanted to say to the entry. Tell her she was wrong, but then he remembered he had his friends and for the first time in his life, almost wished he could see his family one last time.

Who was that voice, so modest and gentle, who had awakened those feelings for his family, so dormant?

"Tell me your name!" Shouted Castiel, but received no answer.  
 

  
He awoke in his bed, drenched in sweat. He had trouble falling asleep that night.  
   
   
   
*

That day he went to the hospital to feel even the doctor for Jensen. He was coming out at that time, when a cry of a girl, pulled him.

The cry came from a girl, who was crying, half curled up in half on the road and the sidewalk, just outside the hospital. She was leaning against a wall.

"Miss, you should not stay here." He said kindly, trying to take her hand.

She had blond hair and curls, shoulder height.

"No one can help me. No one helps me. "The woman said.

Castiel had a sudden flash of last night's dream.

 _I am alone! I'm dying!!_  
 

  
"You are not alone. No one is ever alone. "Castiel said.

The girl looked at him with her brown eyes. He had the eyes of a fawn and face swollen from crying.

The the girl held out her hand and helped her sit up Castiel.

"Look at the stars. The great kings of the past, look at us from those stars, so when you feel alone ... "

"Remember that those kings will always be there to guide you ..." he continued Castiel.

"And I also will be there ..." Finally they said, in unison.

  
The girl laughed, embarrassed.

"The Lion King was one of my favorite Disney cartoons."

"Even my ... I know your name?"

 **"Jo. "** Said the girl.

"Adorable name. I'm Castiel, what can I .... "

"Damn, the old cart had stop now !!" complained a man.

"I'm sorry. Be right back. "Said Castiel, who had never remained indifferent to these things, even though he had lived segregated with those of the organization.  
   
He helped the man push the car and was finally able to leave.

  
"It's really a great guy." The man said.

"Figure. Now I have to go back to the girl who was with me. I com ... "

"Which girl? You are alone before. "Said the man.

"Are you sure? Yet I was talking to a blonde, curly ... "Castiel said, turning away, but the girl was gone. "WHERE SHE WENT ??" He fidgeted.

"But on the phone? Because I assure you that he was alone. I still have a good view. "

"Look, you was looking at the car, I tell you ..."

"Not me. I was watching from a few minutes and honestly ... it looked like a madman who speaks alone ... forgive me. "He said a child, going through skateboarding.

"My God ..." Castiel said.


	57. Delirium

Jared had gone to get some medicine for Jensen to the pharmacy and when he returned, he not found him in the room.

"Curse! I should not leave him alone !! "Jared said, starting to run and shouted the name of Jensen for the whole house. His mind immediately went to Jensen's images wounded, kidnapped again or forced to perform horrific acts, or lost somewhere.

"JENSEN !!" he shouted again.

She found him in the garage huddled against the wall, in the dark.

 

"Jensen !! What have you done? "He asked, turning the garage light.

"Nooo. SWITCH OFF, PLEASE! "

"My God ..." said Jared, off immediately.

"The light hurts me ... and I'm thirsty ... thirsty ..."

"A- wait here." Jared said.

He rushed into the house, finding the floor of the flooded kitchen.

Jensen must have heavily dogged against the bottles up to flood the floor.

He would clean up then. Now Jensen needed him.

He took a sweatshirt with hood and entered the adage garage.

"Jensen, now i come within. Do not worry, I will not hurt you. "

"Do not make me get out! There is sunlight ... I can not get out ... I am a vampire! "

"Jensen, you're not a vampire ... and about the sun because you went out, if you fear?"

"The monsters ... should be in the dark ..." he said, with a distraught air.

Jared felt his forces miss him. Not yet. Not again.

  
Because Bobby and John were not here? Why they do not helping him?

"I'm just a burden to you. Let me die. "He said Jensen, while Jared tried to lift it.

**A slap.**

**"Say it again** !!" Jared shouted, in tears.

"Jared ... I ..."

**"Now get off your ass and let me take you away from this garage or I swear I'll give you another one!"**

Jensen looked at him in astonishment, but looked more like itself now.

He nodded surprised and let Jared put the sweatshirt and an arm around his neck for support, in a much more tender gesture.  
 

  
When he brought him back inside, Jared began to mop the floor with rags and a brush, while Jensen was looking at the door, with a look of guilt.

No longer he says anything, but came up Jared, floor, hugging him from behind.

Jared stopped drying, blocking, by taking a look at the ceiling.

"Excuse me." Jensen said, kissing him on the shoulder and Jared's heart sank. No matter how much could be angry with Jensen. When he kissed him, he forgot everything.

  
He turned, placing the brush and looked deeply Jensen, stroking his cheek with his thumb. He sensed by the look of Jensen, his fears. Jared intuited that Jensen felt that he was terrified that with his behavior, Jared stopped loving him.

"I'm just tired of seeing that destroy you, Jensen. all you do. It seems that you want at all costs to throw your life away. I love you, but you must help me. "

"But i deserve your help, Jared? I deserve it after everything I've done to you? "

"Holy God, Jen! I can not believe we're coming back to talk about this again! "

"Would you love me if I did not know that we are soul mates? No, you would have left me, because what I did is unforgivable !! "

Another slap.

 **"And look I'm taking taste !!"** yelled Jared, with a sobbing voice.

Jensen touched his cheek, which was becoming red because of the second slap.

"I am useless for you. I'm just a poor murderess sick dying. I am a burden. "

"It's not true!!!"

"No? Super soldier, Jared !! When we have taken care of the shit of vampirism, you believe that I can return to normal ?? My body was subjected to an avalanche of junk. I am a person esp with an enhanced body. A kind of robot! A monster!"

"And I'm a devil soul who likes to walk around and to live two lives for 23 years, so do not come and talk to me of monsters !!"

"Right, then there is also the fact that I shot you in the head. That is only one of many horrible things I did to you and you're still here taking care of me!"

Another slap.

Jensen was sad now.

"I take care of you because I love you, ugly git !! That's what people do. Take care of those who love! No matter what kind of idiotic crap shoot and prone to self-harm they are! "

  
"You think i'am a monster so much a monster as to think that I do not deserve to know that my father is alive, speaks to me and brings me fresh juice in the morning to get me out of bed ..." Jensen said with deadly tone.

Jared looked at him now with his mouth open.

"How ... how ..."

"How? I guess I always knew. Perhaps the first day I saw him. "

"Jensen, I would have told you ... I was just waiting for you to better themselves ..."

"Better? I will not ever get better, Jared. Are you sure you do not you tell me because deep inside you, you wanted to punish me? "he said, sitting on the couch.

Jared sat down next to him, shaking his head, and then suddenly it occurred to him why Jensen was saying those things.  
   
   
   
_Now Jensen's mind, as well as the body, is overloaded. so active brain activity, may amplify his feelings and thoughts until it is at times exaggerated or unrecognizable. "_

_"Doctor, please explain in simple terms." He had told Bobby._

_**"Delirium."** He sentenced the doctor._  
   
   
   
Jared had gone to get ice and was laying him on the cheek, while Jensen, more relaxed now, had leaned her head on his chest and stroked the open palm of Jared's hand.

Jared felt himself melting for the caress full of love. He wished to go back and not have hit him. He was sick and Jared had hit him. Who was the real monster?  
   
   
Castiel when he returned, he found them still so, with Jared that his eyes unfocused.

"Jared! What happened??"

"Jensen ... he ... he had a crisis. It flooded the kitchen and then ran away in the garage. I tried to reason with him ... but he kept saying crazy things, saying that he was a monster, I should not forgive him. May God forgive me, Cas, I slapped him. "

"Well, at the cost of sound insensitive, you have only done well, to do it back!"

"Three times."

Castiel remained silent.

"It was unstoppable. I could not stand the way he spoke of himself, and with that conviction he said that does not deserve my love ... and then he started talking about Bobby ... "

"Bobby?"

"Yup. He knows everything, Castiel. I do not know if now the law in the mind or if he always knew, as he says. He knows that Bobby is his father and he knows that the person who claims to love him with all his being, it to him kept hidden. "

"Jared ..."

"I would should have told him, Cas, however I did not because I wanted it did Bobby. Bobby did not do it and he now thinks that I did not tell him! "Jared said, taking up crying.

"Schhh. Enough, Jar. You will solve everything, because that's what makes love. After everything you've been through, this is the minimum. "

"But Jensen ... he's so bad .."

"Exactly ... when he's better, you see things differently. Meanwhile ... I think we should not be here. how about a nice trip to a cabin in the mountains a few days before ... "Castiel said, alluding to the Jensen transfusion.

"Are you crazy? Is this the time for a trip this? "

"I would see more appropriate time." Castiel said with a smile.

 

 

 

 

*

Jensen was still asleep on the couch. Suddenly he saw Jared and posargli a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Jared ..." he murmured.

"No. try again."

"Sam ??"

"You look like shit, love."

"Um ... you could have been you."

Sam looked at him apprehensively. Jensen added hastily: "A slap. Indeed, three. "

"Uhh ... you making me really angry" Sam laughed.

"I told you I do not deserve your love and your forgiveness."

"Uhh ... on second thought, three slaps are too few. Why did you do that?"

"Because ... sometimes I wonder if you would had forgiven me, though ... we were not soul mates."  
 

Sam grimaced.

"Because you love me, Sam? please, tell me. I need to know. "

Sam came up to him and whispered in his ear:

"Because I think you're fantastic."

"Uh."

"Because you're beautiful, charming and so sweet to me. Because I want you and I wish you. Because I love you. "he said Sam, kissing and shaking his hair.

"And you because you love me, Jensen? You do not think I need to hear it? "

"Sam, I love you because ... .are you, because I think you're fantastic, with a force, an energy and an incredible love."

"I know, Jensen, I've always known."

"But you said ..."

"I was not talking to me now, but to me after ..."

"Oh…"

Sam is right, I am a fool ...

Sam even gave him a kiss and then disappeared.  
   
   
   
 

 

  
   
   
   
*

Jared turning over in his sleep, half dazed, when he heard behind him a hug presence from behind.

"Jensen! You want to take a shot at me?? "became frightened.

"Sorry, love, I'm sorry."

"Now I'm back your love ??"

"You're right. You're right about everything. "

"Oh yes?"

"I'm sorry for having acted in that way today."

"I accept your apology if you forgive me for the blows."

"Um ... to be honest I'm happy for them."

"Oh yeah?" Jared asked in surprise, turning, while Jensen was bending over him.

"Yup. I do not want you to cancel for me and accept everything I do because we are destined to be together. I want me and contexts that you get angry if I hurt you. "

"Jensen ..."

"Because if you do not, how can I do to learn? How do I figure out where I'm wrong so do not do it again more ?? "

"What to do??"

" **Hurt you**."

Jared watched him.

  
"Jensen ... everything that has happened ... it hurt me, it is true. I was hurt to discover that you wanted to kill me, but first of all you did. Not only when we met in Venice, but also during our first meeting on the ship. How can I hate you for what you've done, that you could not do, because you loved me too much, and not a few days, but all my life? "

"Jared..io ..."

"True, he initially hurt me, but these things pass, Jens. Seriously, how could I hate you after everything you've been through? Remain locked up for years ... my god ... I can not imagine how you might feel. "Jared said, stroking his cheek.

"I had you ... I did not need anyone else ..." Jensen said, and after this sentence, Jared kissed him.

"I will always have with you, Jensen."

"Allow me to protect you as you do with me."

Jared laughed. "So is this? Your pride is hurt macho? Whether there will be another shooting, you permit her to protect me. "She teased.

Jensen embraced him everything.

  
"You really want to argue with me? It is more pleasant to make love? "Jared asked, laughing companion of paranoia.

"I love everything to do with you!"

"Seee. When they begin to fly the dishes, I want to see. "

"Jerk."

"Idiot."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter has come longer than I thought! xd
> 
> Quiet, we will talk about the question of Bobby :))
> 
> Ps I know, Jensen is stubborn, but very realistically, usually when someone is attached to something, he does not go so easily, so I wanted to make it realistic Jensen from this point of view. Jared has a lot of patience ahhah


	58. Cuddle and sweet words overnight

It was night and both Jared that Jensen did not sleep.

They turned about in his sleep, his hands still clasped together. Jared felt Jensen's fingers move in his hand. He felt a jolt of exquisite pleasure, flow through him, just because of that touch.

"Do not you sleep?" Asked at Jensen.

"Mmmm," he said.

Jared turned closer to him, stroking his face and Jensen pressed him more on him.

  
"Excuse me." Jared said.

"For what?" Jensen muttered in his sleep.

"For not telling of Bobby."

Jensen sighed in the dark, then said: "Why do not you tell me?"

"When I heard that, I thought it would be the first thing I will told you when I should found you, but when I found you ...."

"I had been turned into this ridiculous imitation of a vampire."  
"I did not have the heart to charge up that weight on your shoulders and then I not wanted you put against him ... I not ..."

"You worry for me ... you're a good friend, Jared..e an excellent companion. I love you. Only God knows. "Jensen said, stroking his hair.

Jared sighed in his arms.

"Shall I tell you how I found out?"

"Yup."  
 

Jared told him everything, even the fact that Castiel knew well and now he was worried that it would also be angry with him.

"Tomorrow I'll talk ... quiet, no longer angry, but do not feel like talking to ... with my -father soon."

"Jensen ... I do not want to force you, but you have the opportunity to ask him questions about what he has been through, just like you. You have the opportunity to get some answers! "

"Hey, you're the only **answer** that matters to me."

Jared broke up, but then replied stubbornly: "I insist, you ..."

"Hey, I'll talk ... I promised. But now interest me so spend a few days in the mountains with you. "Jensen said, hugging him.

"Mmm ... you know it is also Castiel, right?"

"Oh no! What to do? The candlestick ?? "

"It is to do our little guardian angel. It will help me keep an eye on if something goes wrong ... and then if he is to help me, I have more time to smooching you. "Jared said, winking.

"I promise I'll be good!"

"The kitchen still watching you wrong for what you did today." teased Jared.

"Damn, Jay! So forgive me now to all the crap I've done, but for a bit 'of water in the house, not? "Jensen snorted in disbelief.

"It was **so much** water! I had to take more rags. I'm not a damn maid. "Jared laughed.

"Be quiet. You'd be a great **wife**. "Jensen laughed.

Jared's heart did a somersault to **wife** word.

  
"Hear, wife, are you sure you want to do ...? Give me blood, I mean. "

Jared looked at him, dazed, staring at his lips.

"Not this, stupid! I mean ... the..ehm transfusion. "Jensen laughed.

"Yup. We talked about this. "

"It's not enough and you was not polished enough these days ..."

Jared pulled up those words with a kiss.

 **"I'm looking forward to it.** " He said softly Jared and Jensen could not say anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to do this additional chapter because, I admit, sometimes I forget to clarify the hahha things but they have already much talked about in the last chapter, which incorporate these additional clarifications seemed forced, so I wanted to do another chapter :) )
> 
> I hope ye liked.


	59. The chalet in the mountain - part one

Jensen was a bit 'worried that Jared wanted to take him to Bobby, remembering that Bobby lived right in the middle of the mountains, but no, it was a very nice grove and full of peace with a great vegetation and beautiful flowers. Jensen breathed deeply the air of peace.

They walked for some time, until Jared decided he could rest for making lunch.

He began to eat a sandwich sitting between the legs of Jensen and regularly made him take a bite.

Castiel remained to watch them while Jensen cuddled and hugged Jared.

"Cas, do not stay there on the sidelines. Come with us. "He said Jensen.

"I'm fine here." Castiel said, smiling.

"Stupid." Jared said, smiling.  
   
"Jared, when you'd meant to tell me that you own a chalet in this paradise?" he asked Jensen holding his hand, when they had finished eating and began walking.

"And you'd have when going to tell me you were a super soldier in disguise?"

Jensen frowned, but Jared quickly said, "Hey, let me play a little '. I love you. "And he immediately gave him a kiss, making him smile.

"Ohhh. Finally we arrived. Guys, I see the house! "Castiel said.

Jensen laughed. "Cas, all this drudgery you need them, at least throw down a little 'fat."

"Hey, I'm not fat!"  
   
 

  
Jared's hut turned out to be a very rustic and cozy little house with yellow curtains and the porcelain service, glass roses attached to the fireplace and many plastic flowers on the table and around the ledge.

The couch was comfortable in blue velvet and the bathroom was all covered in purple tiles.

The television in the living room was still old and the living room floor model had the yellow tiles.

In the room there was a purple abajour emanating violet light and the bedspread of the double bed was a deep purple.

Jared had towels in the bathroom with soft colors, yellow and light blue, and two bathrobes. red and one blue one.

Jensen went into the bathroom and inhaled the smell of bathrobes.

"What the hell are you doing?" Jared asked.

"I want to smell you!" Jensen said, now taking the sponge Jared and pressing her face.

"Jensen!" Jared said, chuckling and entering into view.

"I'm not a fetishist huh. Or maybe yes. Maybe if it comes to you, I want to feel your smell everywhere! "

"And my taste?" Asked Jared, kissing him.

Jensen smiled back, but pulled back a bit 'short.

"S-sorry. I ... I think I need ... you know ... "

"Of blood?"

"Yup. I'm sorry."

Jared was an uncertain moment.

  
"No! What have you got it! The bags. Did you bring it? "

"C-certainly." Jared said, rushing to take them. He tried to ignore the shiver of excitement that was come when he thought that Jensen wanted his blood.  



	60. The chalet in the mountain - second part

Jensen and Jared were bathing costume, in the river, not far from their chalet.

"We are fools, Jared, the water is very cold," said Jensen, immersing himself fully.

"Do not be silly. It is a paradise instead. "Jared said, swimming toward him.

Jensen did not miss the opportunity to grab hold of him and surround him with his arms.

"Mmmm ... so I have to say that's much better!" Jensen sighed.

Jared laughed.

He and Jensen in that kind of paradise. What could he want? that terrible day when he saw Jensen inside that garage rave disconnected phrases about not merit anything, it was a memory and further away.

Whether they deserved a bit 'of happiness.

"You know, I do not think I ever told you how beautiful you are!" Said Jensen, emphasizing each word, especially the last one.

Jared laughed. "Not even you are to throw away, I'd say." He joked.

"No, Jared, I'm not kidding."

Me neither, Jared wanted to say, but was stopped by the next words Jensen.

"You are really nice! You're beautiful. Your eyes are emerald green, your sweetest face that of a koala, and your body ... i love just looking at him, you know? "

"Now stop it!" Jared laughed, embarrassed.

"And your hands ... God, Jared, do not make me speak of your hands."

Jared pulled on his chin and began to bite his neck lasciviously, to prevent him from saying more embarrassing phrases.

"But above all, you are beautiful in here." And he said Jensen, unstoppable, pointing to his chest at heart level.

Now it was the turn of Jared to talk.

"And you are the prince of my dreams as a child." Said Jared.

Jensen looked at him with a sweet smile and her eyes shining.

"I not behaved very little prince with you, but I swear I'll give you a fairy tale for the whole of our life together."

"The fairy tale you have already donated me." Said Jared, kissing, surrounded by azure waters.  
 

They continued kissing even a bit ', until Jared saw Jensen swallowed in a tortured way.

  
"Are you thirsty?" Jared asked.

Jensen nodded.

They came out of the water and Jared looked Jensen drink in small sips from the cup.

He tried as much as possible, not to make themselves look as Jared, but he would not stop looking at him.

"Jensen!" he said.

"What ??" he finally blurted out, regretting now that he shouted.

"I see that you are thirsty. Why do you hold ...? Why do you drink slowly? "

"Because I am not an animal."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It would be easier for me to drink if you did not keep staring at me like that !!"

Jared had now looked wounded.

"Does it bother you that you look?"

  
"I ... not in general. Right now, yes. "

"Because?"

"Why do you look at me like I'm a fucking zoo animal that is about to explode at any moment! I am able to control myself, fuck !! "Jensen broke, dropping the bag on the ground.

"I see." He said severely Jared.

"I do not want you to see me as well. Suck blood like a ... a leech. Do not you understand? "Jensen said in exasperation.

"I just want to ... Jensen, are just worried about you. I can not just give a damn! "

"Do you have to look at this time ??"

"I want to make sure you're all right!"

 **"Well, I'm fine."** Cried Jensen

 **Oh yes? It does not seem !**! "shouted the other back.

They both put a hand over his eyes, then Jensen went to Jared hugged from behind in an embrace.

"Excuse me." He said.

Jared's hand stroked, while Jensen was printing a soft kiss excuses on the shoulder  
   
   
   
   
   
*

That night, Castiel had lain awake staring at the fire crackling in the fireplace and adding from time to time, more wood.

"Why do you keep throwing wood in the fireplace?" A female voice asked.

Castiel jumped and screamed, then covered her mouth, hoping that Jared and Jensen have not heard.

"Who are you? How long are you staring at me? Wait ... you're the girl that I met out of the hospital. "He said, looking better.

"Yup. It's me. I'm just looking for a couple of minutes. "

"Why?" He asked.

"I wanted to see when you stopped but it seems that is not yet the time." The girl said, pointing to the large amount of wood that had been brought in.

"Not really." Castiel said, looking at the wood itself.

"If now burst a snowstorm, would continue to go out to get more wood and continue to fuel the fire, or let it go?" Asked the girl.

Castiel stared at her.

"I would leave losing, because the best fire is one that feeds on itself alone, without the help of a stretch."

Jo smiled.

"Good answer."

"I can say the same. You're nice ... for be a ghost. "Castiel smiled.

Jo frowned a bit '.

"But you're not, right? You do not know what are you, do you? "He asked.

"I have memories of my life ... maybe I am a ghost."

Castiel motioned her to come closer.

She did, and Castiel touched his neck, seeing her close her eyes and sigh plan.

His neck was warm and maybe live.

"What's your name, Jo? Your full name. "

"Jo Padalecki. Because? Want to check if they are really dead? "

But Castiel did not answer. In fact, truth be told, he seemed paralyzed immediately after the name Padalecki.

 

 

*

Jensen was sleeping and when he felt a hand touch him in his sleep, jumped.

"Jared, what?"

"I love you so much, Jensen."

"Uhh..cos'hai, what's the matter?" He asked, while Jared was practically clinging against him.

"I just want to make you understand." Jared said, stroking his hair.

Jensen moved a little. "What do you have? You look different ... but ... what ... oh my God !! "

Jensen winced when he saw Jared's body next to him, sleeping, and Sam tangled him.

"Maybe so you stop pushing me away." Sam said smiling.

"Sam, you just, you have to stop, I mean, do not get me wrong ... .not is that I do not want you, but you do not need you to do this every time! You've already me ! "

"Really?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow. "But if it keeps happening, it is because I have the impression that perhaps as much as love you, I can not sometimes get in connection with your heart, not completely."

"Bullshit." Said Jensen.

"Really?" Sam asked again.

"Sam, what are you ...?" He asked, astonished, seeing that Sam would lie flat on the body of Jared.

He was dumbfounded when he saw Sam with his eyes closed, give his body a soft kiss , on the lips.

  
Jensen immediately grabbed him from behind, dragging him away.

"Hey. What the hell are you doing? "He asked, wriggling.

"You are mad ??"

"It's my body! I can do what I want with my body! I can go out with, touch reality, objects, I can make love with you and I can even touch myself and seek that communion which is too often broken. What is your problem?"

  
"Sam, listen to me, all this has got to stop. She's driving me crazy. I'll help you, I'll help, I promise. "

Sam nodded, and then catch the boxcutter that was on the desk and pass it on the arm.

Jensen gasped and immediately looked at Jared's arm, which, grimaced a little, but did not seem to have signs.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"I will allow you to help me, if you will you allow me to help you. I know you want my blood, take it! "Said Sam, showing the red liquid on his arm.

"NO. YOU ARE CRAZY. I NEVER SAID TO WANT YOUR BLOOD! "

Sam laughed. "There is no need for you to admit it. I see how you look at me. Indeed, he sees Jared. It is a fixed worm in the brain, which gives me no peace, even when I get to be Sam. "

  
"Sam, listen, I can not drink your blood. We do not know what can happen ... "

"Bales. I made love to you, as soul! What do you want to be a little bit of liquid? I've given myself !! "Sam said, febrile, pressandosi against him.

"JARED, stop!" Cried Jensen, pushing him away.

Sam remained thus prohibited, which remained on the floor, looking at him shocked.

"Maybe ... .amare two people together, he **confuses**!" Sam growled softly.

"No, I'm not confused, I'm doing what you wanted. I'm seeing you as a single person! Is you, always you, Jared! When we were in that river, yesterday afternoon, I did not want to tell you how you're perfect! The truth is that you also have flaws! "

Sam gave him a hurt look and shining eyes.

"You ... you're a very sweet guy and good and you have a heart of gold, but becomes ... irrational, when you can not get straight to the hearts of those who so desperately in love, so hard that it hurt, and then let you go to irrationality, aggressiveness. Fuck composure, fuck being reasonable, fuck all the good intentions, when you're desperate you lose almost retrospect, Jared, and Sam will become, and although I deeply love this part of you, will not let you hurt yourself just to prove you love me and that you would do everything for me, do not let you do! "

  
Jensen did not have time to get closer to Sam, this disappeared.

Behind him he heard muffled sobs.

"Jensen ..."

Jared was. Probably this experience must have been more like a daydream.

"Jensen, I'm sorry ... I ..."

Jensen shook his head and went down the stairs at breakneck speed downstairs.

Barely noticed the figure of Castiel who looked at him wide-eyed.

Feeling a fool in the throes of a nervous breakdown, she slammed the door behind him.

It was snowing.  
 

  
He sat down on the rocking chair on the front porch, hoping in vain to be left alone, but invariably came Castiel.

"What the hell happened? You had a fight? "Asked Castiel immediately.

"Stay out of this, Cas."

**"Stay out of this, Cas?"**

Castiel had a very angry face and had spoken those words with deliberate emphasis. Jensen looked at him.

"So, you sinkers down like a fury in the night, like a fool, I am concerned for you and you tell me to stay out? After all I'm doing for ... "

"Curse! Why the hell i am forced to always express my fucking feelings? Why do I always have to be so besieged? Why can not I just stay a little 'alone to ponder how much crap in my body the port and not be forced to make bring back every damn time? Why can not I be left in peace ??? "

  
Castiel stepped closer.

"You're a damn selfish."

"Damn, Cas ..."

"No, Cas anything, you've got your pretty nervous breakdown and I bet you do not even ask you what made me rather stay awake at night to continue to feed the fire of shit!"

Jensen looked at him strangely.

"I bet you would not even think of you that even I may have something that troubles me, because the most important thing on the big screens is the psychodrama of Lovestory Jensen - Jared - soul mates!" Said Castiel, virgolettando the last words sarcastically.

"I was beside myself, but if you have any problems, I am here to ..."

"Fuck you, Jensen." Castiel said, leaving him alone.

 


	61. The chalet in the mountain - part three

Jensen was back in bed at night, very slowly to avoid waking Jared.

It was early morning hours and Jared rolled over in bed, turning to Jensen and crouching against him.

"Day." He murmured, smiling.

Jensen looked at him confused.

"Day ... Jared ... you ..." he said, while Jared grew closer.

"You remember anything last night?"

Jared looked at him a bit 'puzzled, then smiled.

"What's up? I got drunk?"

Jensen shook his head slightly.

"Did I do something bad?"

"Absolutely not."

"Ok .." Jared said, rather meekly.

"I ... I must have done a little 'the idiot and I am moved a bit' at night." He lied Jensen, leaving embrace of a Jared much happier now.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Castiel was already awake and was reading the newspaper. He looked a bit 'sideways Jensen in boxer was putting on the coffee pot and Jared hugging him from behind, purring.

They looked like the picture of happiness. Apparently, the storm had passed.  
   
   
*

 

"Mmm ... feel ... Jared does not remember anything, so ... not to mention nothing wrong with him, okay?" Jensen asked, as if nothing had happened, entering the bathroom, while Castiel was brushing his teeth.

"But if i do not even know what the hell happened!" He complained Castiel.

"Ok, for a short let it get yesterday Sam has had a nervous breakdown and made me so angry that ... I pushed him."

Castiel's eyes widened.

"I attacked him making a scene, but believe me, Cas, it was really beside himself. Only I must have exaggerated and in shock, Jared woke up. He saw me run away and now he do not remember anything. Just keep your mouth shut, okay? "

Castiel wanted not keep his mouth shut at all. He wanted to indeed go along with Jared to give him manforte to beat Jensen, indeed already there were, they could also call Sam. As Jensen could still ask him something after last night ??

"Damn, I'm dying of thirst!" Said Jensen, leaving the bathroom.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

It was late afternoon and Jensen happened by chance into the room, while Jared was there, in front of the mirror.

He had a gloomy face and keep a finger.

"Jared ... what ...?"

"Nothing. I cut myself with the paperweight. "

Jensen a blood droplet gaped at her to get out from the finger.

He approached floor, sighing, pressing more handkerchief.

Jared stared at him.

"I heard you before, in the bathroom, with Cas."

Jensen sighed. A bit 'had expected.

"Jar ..."

"And I remember everything about last night."

"Why did not you say so?"

"Why did you feel guilty."

Jensen sighed again.

"Listen, I'm sorry, but I ... you were so willing to go all the way and I could ... do not let you do that."

"And now?"

Jensen frowned.

  
"Now what?"

"Now I am not incorporeal. If you wanted my blood, you can still have it. "

"Why do you insist so much with this story?"

"Because you will still my blood in you, in a few days and this is something you want."

"I wish it just because you think that i desire it?"

"I know you want it. "

"How do you know it?"

"I see the effort you do to keep you."

"Why do you want at all costs that i lose control? I could hurt you! "

"I do not think you will. Let me do this for you, Jensen. "Jared said, taking off the handkerchief and held out her wrist.

"Jared ... .I ..."

"Come in."

Jensen came up and licked floor plan a drop of blood from her finger.

"How was it?"

"Um ... salt, but with a bittersweet taste."

"Do you like?"

"Yup. Oh God. Yup."

"Again?" Jared asked.

"Jared ... please, do not overdo it."

"I will not." Jared said, taking the boxcutter and making a small notch on the arm.

He stifled a groan of pain.

"Does it hurt?" Jensen asked immediately.

"Help me to not feel the pain. Do you want to? "

So saying, Jared pressed his lips to Jensen against his arm, that sucked floor, making moan Jared.

It was an explosion of feeling, senses, feelings, heart beats bursting furious, adrenaline and over-excitation.

"Undress me." He also told Jared.

Jensen did. Jared held out his arm again and even the senses of both seemed amplified. Jared felt Jensen that made him a hickey on his neck, but without biting, then unexpectedly entered into him. There was no preparation, but he not felt pain, perhaps because of the amplified sensations of the moment.

Jensen sucked again, but pianissimo arm of Jared, not to hurt him, then stopped and tied a handkerchief tight to the wrist and one on the arm.

He stopped to focus on the blood and began to push, again and again and again.

"Yup. Do not stop, Jensen, do not stop! "  
 

 

The orgasm swept them just as Castiel opened the door and made a face, horrified.

"Oh my God." She said, putting a hand over her mouth and running away at breakneck speed from the room.

"Now run away. You should not have to enter their own. It tells you nothing the expression room bed ?? "Jensen told him back, teasing him.

"Jensen ..." said Jared embarrassed.

Jensen looked at him, softening the expression and printing a gentle kiss on the face.

"Let's hear what he wants this pests. Do you want to? "The Jensen asked.  
   
   
   
   
*

"Are you completely deranged ?????" Castiel attacked them.

"Castiel, calm down!" Jared was trying to say, but he knew well that the handkerchief placed haphazardly on his wrist, betrayed too clearly what he had done, not counting the second handkerchief on his arm.

"How could you let him do that ???" Castiel asked.

"Hey, it was my choice!" Interjected Jared.

"You leave that he take your defenses, Jensen ??"

"Listen, I'm sorry, Cas, but Jared is my partner, okay? He wants to be close to me and I did not tell permission yesterday. He was hurt yesterday and now ... I just wanted that he understand that I trust him, I trust us! I can control it! I not make to pieces my boyfriend! "

"Oh yes? So what are those damn signs? "

"They're just small bites, Cas. I wanted it! Nothing happened, really! "Jared said.

"It hurts me that you really think I want to hurt the person i love most in the world, Cas."

"You yourself themes to hurt him, Jensen! Why not take a position? "

"Cas, that's enough!" Interjected Jared.

"I've already taken !! I do not want to hurt my boyfriend !!! "

"You needs had to suck his blood?" Castiel asked. "You're so thirsty?"

"Do not ... do not you dare compare me to a leech, Cas. do not you dare. It's not what it looks like. I ... I not ... there is a much deeper bond with Jared. What he did to me is proof of a love and a unique loyalty. These days I'm drinking the blood of strangers. Do not you think that the only blood that I would drink is his? That of the person I love most in the world? I never said, however, why I do not want to hurt him, but if Jared offers himself to me with so much care, love and devotion, and for the first time is able to convince me that I will not hurt, and that what we are doing is love, why should I reject it? "

Jared and Cas were left open-mouthed in front of so important statements.

"And Cas ... I'm really sorry for being an asshole to you, yesterday. And also with you. "He added, turning to Jared. "Lately I do only apologize."

"Well, maybe I was also a bit 'too embittered spinster lately, but really, if you knew what's happening to me ... a kind of blonde girl ghost appears in front of me and starts talking to me ... is already the second time." Castiel said.

"Spectrum?" Jared asked.

"Blonde girl?" Jensen asked.

"I do not know if it's my soul mate or just a ghost, but it gets worse. She says her name Jo Padalecki. "

Jared and Jensen opened wide mouth.

"I have a sister?" Jared asked, confused.

"We do not know if it is a sister or some relative of yours, but it's all so complicated." Castiel said.

"You could see Sam. you've always been able to see Sam. "Jensen realized suddenly.

"What has this to do now?" Castiel asked.

"You do not understand? It is so clear. Other people can not see the twin souls of others, instead you saw mine, and unless Sam / Jared is not even your soul mate, which I doubt, the only explanation is that your soulmate was related to my , by some bond and now we find that it is! "said Jensen.

"Fascinating theory, if it was my soul mate. What we do not know! "Castiel said.

"But we'll find out! My parents are dead, and if I have left anything remotely or vaguely like a family, I want to know! "Jared said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I still make many mistakes, sorry ç_ç I did not even an dictionary English for improve..i try to be able to do everything possible at least to make you understand what happens in the text ...
> 
> ps the story will be very long..vi XD I hope ye feel emotions though!
> 
> The thing about Jensen vampire is explained when Jared went to save it in the base for those who do not remember!


	62. At Manhattan

He had come the day. Jared and Jensen were traveling on the plane that would take them to Manhattan to bring Jensen to the prestigious hospital for the cure.

The plane was specially customized to bring patients who would be subjected to treatment. Obviously they could not travel with the regular people, except for the family, who accompanied them.

Jared clutched the hand's Jensen, with love, as she checked she was all right.

"Jared, all this, the fact that you are here, it means a lot to me."

"I could not let you go alone. How do you feel? "he asked Jared.

"It burns your throat so much. Jared, promise me that you stand near at me. I'm scared."

"I will not leave you even for a moment. This nightmare is going to end, my love. you'll see that after you'll be fine! "said Jared, making him a pat on the face.

At that moment the hostess with the drinks.

"Would you like some orange juice?"

"Yup. Two. "Jared said.

When he left, Jensen laughed.

"What's so funny?" Jared asked.

"The stewardess. I suppose that in a world where they are not madly in love with you, I would find sexi her. "

"Oh God, no. Is there such a world? It must be terrible. "he teased Jared, giving him a kiss.

"I agree." Said Jensen.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
*

When they arrived in Manhattan, they met with Bobby, John and Misha in a luxurious restaurant for dinner.

"You do not believe that all this is ... a little '... **quick?** I mean, maybe we should celebrate **after** , "said Jensen, polished, in black suit and white tie.

"And we instead celebrate **now,** because we are people strange" Bobby laughed.

"I would have to make a speech." Jensen said gravely.

They remained all silent waiting.  
 

"This should be a quiet time and collegiate and I appreciate what you are doing for me ... this dinner, all to distract me from what will happen tomorrow, that is an important thing. To distract myself from the pain or fear of pain. I feel I must say things before, because I do not want you can think then, that I have not done it before, because I was not capable of human feelings! I must make my apologies to ... .Jared, I've done so many times, but running the risk of sounding boring, I realize that all the excuses in the world can not compensate for the love you gave me, and you still giving me day by day. I feel a very lucky man and I can not wait to heal, to begin to compensate him as he deserves! "

  
There were the thunderous applause, while Jared and Jensen were kissing.

"That sounded a lot like a wedding speech!" he teased Bobby.

"Or like a hot promise." Jared laughed, passing a finger on the lips of Jensen, who winked.

"Wait until i am healed and you'll see." Jensen said, winking again.

They all laughed and then Jensen continued.

"I have to make my apologies to John, for all that I did go to Jared. I know it's like a son to you, and I could not wish a better father to him. "Jensen said, move John.

"Bobby, our relationships, as you know, are problematic lately. I still have it with you, but ... I can not forget what you did for me when I was alone, lost and suffering, on the run from the love of my life. I was lost and you picked me up, you looked after me, you helped me to make me understand who I am. I can not forget and I really hope that our relationship will continue, so that you help me to understand who i am yet, as only a father can do with a son. "

Other appalusi thunderous and tears of all people.

Bobby went to embrace Jensen, who returned, then the emotion was too much and Jensen left the room, muttering an

"Excuse me."  
   
   
   
*

Ten minutes later, Bobby reached Jensen out of the restaurant, the veranda where Jensen was sitting in a chair.

"You know, in a few minutes you will be served a great soufflé with strawberry and chocolate." he told him Bobby.

"Wow. I certainly can not miss it. "Jensen said, smiling a little.

Bobby sat down next to Jensen.

"You know, I've never been good with words. Not in public. I do not know why ... it is as if the emotion became too much and I suddenly snap into the throat. It's part of my character. I think."

"Bobby, you have no excuse ..."

"But I think these things you have to know , so I tell you now. I would hate it if you bring me hate you for not telling you first what was going on, Jensen. "

"Bobby, you not ..."

"Let me finish. My situation, you know ... it was not easy. I was afraid. Afraid to shift too great a burden to a child, even if he was my son ... and then I ran away ... I did not think it was too serious. I have not thought about the fact that I was abandoning my son, because I thought to myself to save you. I missed you, Jensen. I have often thought in these years, the child that I could not grow and that I had never known. If I had known that my sacrifice was in vain, because the bastards you have found, however, I would come back and I would have done everything possible to find you, but I ... did not know ... "

  
"Why are you telling me this?"

"Why do you not think that your father has abandoned you or that you did not want. If I have not said anything until now, it was because when I met you, I did not know who you were, then I understand, but you were already gone and then after so many things have happened ... I did not want to add more stress and more selfishly, I was afraid that you would hated me. "

"The mom ... are years that I do not see her."

"Me too, but if you want, we can try to find it together, shall we?"

Jensen smiled. "Yup."


	63. Gastric lavage

That day, Jensen was worse than usual. He did not know if it was a coincidence, or if the suggestion of what he was going to do, gave his body the sensation of feeling worse, but he had never felt worse, really.

He had hardly slept a wink, thus forcing Jared to do the same, as stubbornly as a sweet lover of yesteryear, began to take care of him, to make him the caresses, to propose table games such as distraction, talking to him constantly to distract .

Jensen could not drink and could not eat anything before you go to the hospital, so since he had been at the restaurant the night before, had not touched anything, and probably was the one that made him feel so bad, not the dozens and dozens of people who crowded the hospital and the waiting room waiting to be called.

Jared had tired eyes and concern printed in the face, yet still be close to him, as well as Bobby, John and Castiel.

Jensen is still leaned against Jared, rubbing her head on his neck.

"I'm sorry I kept you awake tonight."

Jared smiled. "It was not so bad, in fact, I liked it, you know? It was just like being a married couple, I like to take care of you like I'm your wife. "

Jensen felt the attraversargli chills throughout the body.

married couple.,. wifey ... okay, it was he who started to say, but now these words were jumping out more often than he thought.

But it wanted to?

He was not sure he could say more often than I wanted to, because he was not sure that there was a limit to how much he wanted to. He had never thought about it, but now ...

He tried to banish these thoughts. He had to concentrate now.  
   
 

Three hours later, Jensen was in complete agony. He had thick burning in the chest, because abstinence. He felt sore, tired and thirsty. All around there were vigilant in the hallway, to make sure that patients do not aggredissero someone because of too much withdrawal.

Jensen felt faint, then after what seemed centuries, finally called it.  
 

"Mr. Ackles?"

Jared is automatically moved into the room with him, but the doctor stopped him.

"You can not come."

"I'm her soul mate." Jared said, acidly.

The doctor winced. "I-I'm sorry. Please, come in. "  
   
   
The doctor made her sit in the studio Jensen and Jared made her sit in an adjacent room to speak to him alone. He reported now to Jared, what would face Jensen.

"The Jensen body is strongly attacked by this bacterium that acts just like a parasite from leech and dehydrates. It needs more and more liquid and the water was not enough, then searches the blood, of which he is deprived in small pieces. It should expel all of the bacterium. Kill him. A chemotherapy may kill the bacteria, but also healthy cells. We thought of a new type of gastric lavage, which is still experimental, but it looks pretty effective. It proved quite effective against many types of bacteria and viruses and even against this. "

"Just a simple gastric lavage?" Asked Jared thrilled.

"It seems like a no brainer to put it that way, but I assure you that Jensen feel much pain. He will have the impression of feeling all the blood boiling from the inside. We would be forced to transfer him to an isolation room so as not to hear the screams of patients and make them run away in terror before the same treatment. "The doctor said, frankly.

"Holy god ... if you let it alone, Jensen could die. Let me be with him, please. "

"Being with him is a necessity rather than a permit, otherwise it would resume much more slowly." He said the doctor.

"So ... uhm..va well for the lavender, but that tells me the transfusion? The doctor that I heard in Venice, he told me ... "

"Yes, transfusion. Of that we'll talk once the gastric lavage. "

"Doctor, Jensen will return fully in place after ... after this?"

"It depends on what Jensen is able to endure the pain, but yes, the degree of success of this operation is almost guaranteed."

"It must be shocking for you ... doctors ... have to talk ... and having to deal with all this." Jared said.

The doctor looked at him intently for a few seconds, then he said.

"You have already heard the cry * I woke up in a world that sleeps *, Jared?"

"Sure. It is a quotation from the book The Dead Zone, by Stephen King. "

The doctor smirked.

"That's what I thought too, every day, every damn day, when I do this job. People die and nobody does anything, we are doctors often powerless in the face of this. People leave us after having loved us, betrays us or die, and even before this we are powerless ... .then I woke up one day and I saw ... ... discovered shocking reality revealed in a simple tg, where the day before there was talk ordinary massacres. Finally, there was talk of things really shocking. Vampires, super soldiers, soul mates! For the first time I could say, I woke up in a living world and also I now I feel alive. "

  
"It's beautiful ... what you're saying ... but ... we are talking about super soldiers, Jensen told me his greatest fear. If were to ward off the virus, it is afraid that it can no longer go back to being the same. Not physically. Is that it? "

"Gastric lavage which the subjection includes cleaning of each artificial component that has invaded his body. Jensen will return to normal, Jared. "

"He ... he has something in his head ... ... he says that it is a kind of device ... the take off from that too?"

"Yup."

"Okay. Look, when Jensen will look good and before the transfusion, even I would like to do the analysis ... in the head. "

The doctor looked at him worried. "You are sick?"

"I ... no ... but ... I have to be sure that Jensen does not risk anything ..." said Jared, telling him briefly what had happened when Jensen had shot him with that special gun.  
   
"It should not risk anything and even you. If you have returned all the memories and you yourself say that you have done the analysis and the stain is gone, there should be no danger, but we will dele analyzes, however, to be sure. "he assured the doctor.

"Good"

"Enough is enough with the talk. Let's go. It brings in the isolation room to begin with. "


	64. Resist for you

Jared and Jensen were brought into the isolation room. An empty white room.

It looks more like a prison room. I hope that we should not be here long. Jared thought.

He noticed a great tool to the side of the room that had the form of a vacuum cleaner.

Gastric lavage ??

The doctor took that thing and let him see the big pipe that connected. It looked like a vacuum cleaner. Jensen always panting for more.

  
"Will put that thing inside Jensen's mouth?" Jared asked in a low voice so as not to scare Jensen.

"It will be painful, but then he'll be fine. I promise. "He said the doctor. "Hold his head steady, Jared."

Oh God.

Jared did as requested, seeing Jensen even more agitated.

"Sorry, love." He said then, turned to Jensen.

 

The doctor sent over that pipe, which still had a very small mouth, inside Jensen's mouth, but not stuffed it all in her throat. He held it just tilted and instantly the pipe splashed a celestial liquid that went down his throat,   
flood him the mouth.

"Continue to keep it!" Said the doctor.

Jared then he saw the hose to spray the simple crystal clear water in his mouth.

"Now I will go on to raise the temperature of the room. You'll have to stay here, Jared. Do not panic if you see him spit blood.

My God. "All right, Doctor." He said instead.  
   
 

  
They were alone and Jared began to massage the belly of Jensen, begging his pardon, but he stopped when he saw Jensen bend to yes same and begin to vomit blood. Shot eyes red.

"Jensen!"

Jensen continued to vomit blood for a while ', then just screamed.

She cried and it seemed that would not ever stop.

"Jensen, check it! Check it, otherwise I ... .I ... "he said, holding his face. He felt his head hurt, he understood that his soul was inconceivable and inhuman thus listen to the pain of the person he loved and could not do anything to help her. If Jensen had not stopped screaming, he would be back Sam. Sam, irrational and too damn emotional. How would he react if he saw Jensen in these conditions? It would be recalled that it was all for his own good or he gone insane?

"Jensen, please. Jeeeeeeenseeeen! "Said Jared, feeling crumple to yes same.

"Jared ... .what do you do?"

"I can not control it, my love." Said Jared desperate.

"Jared, no, do not! Do not do it!"

"You asked me to trust you. remember? Now do yourself. You know I would never do evil, whatever form it may take. "Jared said, letting go, choosing this time to have confidence in himself.

Seconds later collapsed, while Sam's soul came out of his body.

"Jensen! What are you doing ?? "was troubled immediately.

"It's part of the cure. They are making me feel good, Sam. They're taking care of vampirism ... they ... "

"You do not seem to be very well!" Said Sam, taking his face in his hands.

"Sam, you should not be here."

"And how else would my place if not by your side, always and forever?"

"Sam ... I ... I have so much pain ... hurts so much ... ahhhhhh."

"Accept it, my love. Accept it and that's it. It is the evil that slips away from you and when they go away entirely you will resume to feel good. You'll be yourself again. "Sam said, holding his hand.

"Sam, I love you."

"I know."

"That's why you have to fit in your body now."

"Thing? No! I will not leave you!"

"I do not want ... a part of you. If you have to be with me, I want to have you yourself completely! "Said Jensen, watching Jared's body lying in a trance.

"Jensen, so I'm stronger. I can get straight to your heart. "

Jensen shook hands with Sam strongest in a desperate grip.

 

"When you will understand that you are already in my heart?"

Sam looked at him moved.

"You're strong, Jared, you're strong. You can stand by me in any form. I know you're terrified by the fact that humans and limited and fragile, can not be enough, but for me it is. I love you. You do not need to come out from your body. I still think you're pretty damn wonderful and perfect as you are. I can not look you lying on a floor because you believe that it is you're not enough. You never think it, you understand? "

"Jensen ..."

Sam said no more, because it was gone.

Jared was getting up, and something in his face, told him he had guessed what Jensen could have told him, even though he could not quite remember the speech.

Without saying anything went to Jensen and kissed him.

She kissed him and held him tight, feeling it trembling under him and squirming and then do a little 'less, to relax beneath him.

"I knew you were strong, Jared, I knew." Jensen said, abandoning her head against his shoulder.  
 

The door opened and some nurses arrived with a gurney.

"Jensen will be fine, right? right ?? "Jared asked.

"Yup. Jensen just needs a transfusion now, as soon as he rested a bit '. My compliments, Jared. "Said the doctor.

"You ... are seen it all?"

"Yes, but I thought that my intervention was useless and would probably even worse ..e then I had no reason to intervene. The situation was completely under control. "He smiled the doctor.

Jared had a dark look. "But you seem sad, young man. Jensen'll be all right, you've been amazing. "He encouraged him the doctor.

"I ... I do not know who I am, now. I'm Sam or Jared ? Jensen is doing everything to ... totally love me, to make me feel loved one hundred percent, but I do not know who I am anymore lately. "

"Jared. Are you Jared, but you're also Sam. "

"No, Doctor. You can not be two people. Not simultaneously. I do not know who I really am. "

"Jared, I understand your crisis, but believe me. You have to feel good. Especially now that Jensen has more need of you. "

Jared nodded, feeling sadder than ever. He loved Jensen, but he was drowning, and the only reason why he tried not to show it, it was because he loved it so much that Jensen with everything you were going through, did not deserve to have this other suffering on himself, not after all that he had done and said to convince him that she loved him completely.

But he felt that at any moment would collapse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I was able to upgrade! xd Excuse me, but these chapters are hard xd
> 
> I know, it's always the same old story, and I really regret that Jared should suffer so, but it must not be easy for him ç_ç
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter <3


	65. My blood inside you

_I feel the needle pinch the vein and then I see my blood out into the bag hanging above the bed._

_The blood that I will donate to Jensen._

_Suddenly all my crisis and my concerns to myself, are not important more._

_I am doing this out of love. To save the love of my life. What's more important?_

_Everything can be solved. Everything will work out. Thanks to my blood, Jensen will live. It'll be fine._

_He'll be well again._

_My blood will cleanse the body from Jensen that crap that is destroying his body._

_I do not know if this will do something even at his pineal gland, which stimulated by that doctor psychopath, made us attract and learn. I honestly do not believe that a love like ours will cease to exist for a simple case of inverse stimulation or by his blood inside my._

_I love Jensen. This will never change._

_I know as I feel my blood out of me to go inside you._

_I have no thoughts of masochism for my body, as you are you afraid. I do not like to hurt me._

_It's just that I love you desperately. I would do anything for you. There is not a single thing I would not do for you._  
   
 

 

 

 

  
   
   
*

Jensen woke up after a few hours, feeling different.

Calm, rested and strangely ... limited.

And he was not thirsty! No thirsty vampire.

He looked one hand and squeezed it into a fist. It was sore. What had happened to his body?

"Piano, man. You have to recover from a blood transfusion! " Castiel said, when she saw him.

"Cas!" Jensen said, hugging him.

Castiel returned the hug, but then tried to put him back to bed.

"No! I want to see Jared! "

"Jensen, do not force me to call the nurse!"

"Please, Cas. I need to see him. I need to see that he is well and I need to thank him and to tighten it to me. please!"

Castiel sighed. "Bobby will kill me."


	66. Healed

Castiel brought Jensen plan, in the room of Jared. The nurses looked crooked them, because they understood that Jensen would have to be at rest, and instead walked into the hallway. Castiel blushed

"Here we are. "Castiel said, opening the door of Jared's room.

Jensen watched him.

It was so damn beautiful and fragile at that moment, asleep, with his bangs that fell in disorder in the eye. She gave him a light caress.

"Jared ..." he whispered.

Jared opened his eyes slowly, then widened them.

"Jensen!"

Jensen reserved a dazzling smile.

"The transfusion ... everything went well?"

"It seems so my love. thank you!"

Jared hugged him tenderly, then kissed softly.

"You have to rest. I just came to see you. "He said Jensen.

"But I'm rested," he groaned the other, trying to bring it back to him.

"Jared, do not tempt me. You lost a lot of blood. "

"It is not lost, if it is within you." The other said, gently.

Jensen gave him another kiss, holding his face in his hands.

"I have to go, otherwise it will come nurses to throw me out. We see you in qulache now, to get out of this bad place. "

"Ugh." Said Jared, but Jensen silenced him with another kiss languid.  
   
   
   
   
*

After several hours, the doctor finally allowed to Jared and Jensen to leave the hospital.

"Now at last you can eat, but remain light and try not to overeat too. I made the plates to Mr. Padalecki and in his brain there is no stain. Ditto for her, Mr. Ackles. Whatever was the artificial thing was implanted to control his brain, he has disappeared. Here, look. "He said the doctor, showing them their ultrasounds.

"And what about the problem of Jared, he might .." said Jensen.

"We are doctors, Mr. Ackles. Not healers. I'm sorry, but what he is asking is too much for us. We are not able to imprison or ... liberate souls, but I know that Mr. Beaver is doing a good job with this. You should speak to him. "

"It is a good friend. We will do it. Thank you ... and another thing, also a dear friend of mine aveva..questa thing in the brain. I believe we still have the ... can you do something for him? "

"It should come here and to undergo himself to gastric lavage." He said the doctor.

"Ok ... will surely come!" Said Jensen.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jared and Jensen were taken home by John and Bobby were very happy that it went well. They stayed a little 'to chat with them, and made a light dinner with them and then decided to leave them alone to give them a little' of intimacy.

As soon as they were gone, Jared asked Jensen:

"Really are you okay?"

Jensen if you hugged him tightly.

"I've never been better. I seem to burst with energy. "

  
Jared looked at him with a mischievous smile.

"You're in total control over your forces? 100 x 100? "

"And you?" Jensen asked, returning the mischievous smile.

"I think I'm too overloaded. In fact, I just need to vent all quest'adrenalina excess! "She said, sitting on the living room couch.

Jensen pulled him into a hug, causing it to lift.

"Not here. On the bed. I want you to do it right, I want you to feel the love I feel for you. I do not want to fuck you. "

Jared's mouth dropped open in front of that statement.

"I want to ... ... savoring every moment ...." Said Jensen, kissing languidly.

Jared put her arms around his neck and drifted on the bed.  
 

When stretched the boy, Jensen stroked him gently and said:

"I will not take advantage of you. I know that you have just made. "

"Jensen, is not a problem. Really. "Jared said, laughing.

Jensen did not answer and got up plan the shirt, giving him soft kisses throughout the chest.

"Oh God." he gasped already Jared.

Jensen took off his jeans and underwear, gently. He began to kiss him and touch him slowly. Everywhere.

Then he devoted his attention also to its intimacy. Floor, gently. Jared is always arched more as a kind of dance.

He finished undressing, and then began to kiss him everywhere.

Jared did not pray. Just he enjoyed all the attention.

"You and I forever."

"Forever." Jared replied, clasping her hands in his.

  
Even when Jensen pushed into him, he did not stop from demonstrating how much he loved him. He moved so passionate, but slow, always looking into his eyes.

"Thank you. You have make me... ... born again ... so many times, Jared ... "

"And you've made me feel ... ... alive." Jared was panting.

The orgasm came, upsetting.

"It is so nice to do it with you, now that I'm ... .purificato. because of you. "Said Jensen.

"I agree," said Jared, in mischievous way. "You have much new energy!"


	67. Fables and delirious happiness

Jensen was turning in bed, basking in the warmth of Jared.

He found his warm, naked legs. The he folded immediately to its enjoying the hot shoe that their legs were feeling.

Jared turned back against him and hugged her. Jensen received him sinking his head on his neck and squeezing stronger, inebriated with his scent.

He kissed him. On the shoulder, neck, chest, face. She wanted to kiss him all over. Make him feel his love, his happiness.

Jared moaned against him, pleased with the attention.

Jensen took his hand and kissed his fingers too, taking her hand in his.

Jared still clung closer to him and rolled together under the duvet.

"I love you." Jared said.

"I love you." said Jensen, strong squeezing.

 

 

  
   
   
   
   
*

Jensen got up to prepare breakfast for him and Jared, feeling upon himself still the sweet burden of that happiness, then suddenly saw Jared get in the kitchen.

"Oh no, it had to be a surprise." Said Jensen, placing the pot of milk, smiling.

Jared sorridette a bit 'puzzled and Jensen knew. It was not Jared.

  
"S- Sam?" he asked.

"It's so good to see you so happy. "He said.

Jensen smiled. It was good to see him. Always beautiful.

  
"Thank you. "He answered him.

Sam approached Jensen. It seemed different now. More relaxed. he puts her arms on his neck.

"Please do not send me away. Not yet."

Jensen stared at him.

"Sam, no. Oh no. I do not want to do it. Why do you say that?"

"I know how much you think it's good for me to do this ... ... but it is bad to go the same way every time."

"Oh, Sam."

Jensen kissed him tenderly, feeling her heart crumble and reactivated several times.

  
"Far be it from me to make you feel rejected or forgotten .... I think of you every single moment, Sam. believe me. My love for you will never cease to exist. "

"Hold me, Jensen. pull me, please. "

Jensen did. She hugged strong, kissed her neck, picked him up and carried him on the couch.

From the ledge above them, he took a blue rose fake and showed it to him .

"You are to me a blue rose, Sam. Special and unique. "

Sam stared at the pink, smiling sadly.

"I have a crazy fear, Jensen. And if once I connected forever with my soul, i ... I will not exist anymore? If you had to forget about you, how ... how will I? "

"Sam, I will never lose you. We'll always be together. I would never do something that could cause any damage to you or to us ... ... trust me. I will not abandon you. Just trust me, okay? "

"Okay." Sam said, hugging him tenderly.

  
"Can I tell you a story?"

"Yup. "

 

 

*

Jared had rushed from Castiel, who was staying in a little hotel within the chalet they had rented Jared and Jensen.

"Wait!" Said Castiel.

Jared did not wait and opened the door.

"Jared ??" said Castiel surprised, taken aback. He was in his boxers.

Jared with a toothy grin threw her arms around him. Castiel smiled back sheepishly.

"Jared, are half naked."

Jared was unimpressed. "I am a soul that comes out of his body to make love to her soul mate, do you really think I might scandalize... this?" he asked happy.

Castiel stared at him. Jared had never been so expansive with him. Usually it was Sam.

"You're ... Sam?" He asked cautiously.

"Thing? No! "Said Jared, without losing his smile and enthusiasm. "I just want to hug my best friend!"

Castiel stared at him, blinking. "Best friend? But…"

Jared moved by him amused.

"I know I know. Evidently my subconscious brings me to the feelings of Sam and old feelings resurface friendship! "Jared said going to sit on the couch.

"I'm glad that resurface when Jensen is far away and can not kill me." He replied the other, making them laugh Jared.

"I see you happy." Castiel said, smiling.

"Hell, Yes! I am!"

"So I suppose that things between you and Jensen should be great!"

"Cas, is extraordinary! I'm over the moon ... we made love and then we slept embraced and then he made love with Sam and I ... "Jared said, his eyes twinkling.

"Brakes, brakes for a moment. You said you made love with Sam? "Castiel asked, thrilled and worried.

"YES! And it's great, I mean, Jensen loves me so much that he can not stop, even when they are ... Sam, it is not that crazy? And I'm fine, really. Really good! "

"Some might say that is not healthy."

"When did the love is?" Sam asked, his eyes twinkling. "Diosanto, Cas. I have no words to describe what I feel. Jensen this morning told me a story and I asked him to write it, so that I can remember! We went through hell on Earth, and we survived. We made so much evil and we survived and we love each other even more than before. Better than before. It was possible to get out broken, destroyed, not together, dead or lost, the one without the other. Any of us could die! But we are still here, all together. I, Jensen, you, John, Bobby ... and I Jensen and we are ... it's like a fairy tale. It does not seem real yet at times. Services that we made to the world for the privilege of being able to be so happy? Could prove a happiness so delusional? "

 

"Delirium I think now the right word." Castiel laughed, amused.

"Look around you, Castiel. It is realizing what was utopia for thousands of years! The reunion of soul mates! I andJensen, love each other since we were kids. perhaps even before! We fell in love four times he and I. As children, as teenagers, on the ship and later in Venice! And then I had this amnesia ... and he was taken by those psychopaths, but we came out! Could finish everything damn in tragedy, we could lose everything, but, crazy thing, we survived, Cas! "

"OK, now breathe a moment and calm down." He said Castiel amused.

"No! No, I can not calm down, because everything is like a fairy tale cabbage, a wonderful fairy tale. Jensen gives m"Delirium I think is the right word." Castiel laughed, amused.  
  
e everything I need, it's all I want ... and you, you're the one that has contributed to our happiness! "

"I??"

"Do not pretend it is not so. You have helped a million times, every time something is in bad shape. You were next to Jensen when he was separated from me. You've helped. You did run away and ... diosanto, when the doctor told you to make a choice, you were willing to sacrifice your happiness for us! "

"Jared, you do not have to thank me. That's is they have to do  
. "

"But they do not. Not everybody! Do not pass it to a normal thing, Castiel, because it is not. If I Jensen and we are happy and we are together we are also thanks to you. "

"You are soulmates. Soulmates always find the way. "

"Yeah, but thanks to you is no longer a painful road, thank you, Cas, thanks."

Castiel felt they are going to be moved.

"But now finished flaw, or you're embarrassing me! I have to get dressed, as you know today is an important day! "Joked Castiel. In fact, he would have to present him to the hospital to proceed even gastric lavage.

Jared moved into the small room and saw a blue cover.

"You feel cold at night?" He asked puzzled.

"It is not for me, but ... for Jo. She came to see me again. "

"Oh God. Were you able to find out ... "

"Yes, I think I know where he is. I'll tell you once I am out of the hospital! "

"Ok." Jared smiled again.

"Jared, I'm glad to see you so."

"As well as?"

"In love. It is as if I had butterflies in my stomach. "Rise Castiel.

"Yes, Cas. that's it. They are completely, hopelessly, in love with him. You too deserve this happiness. I can not wait that you and Jo ... "

"Hold back, I will not put myself with a girl just because the universe has determined that we should get together."

Jared looked surprised. "Your rationality can do nothing against the power of love and soon you'll know." Jared said.

Castiel looked up to heaven, while the bell rang.

  
"Love has turned you into one of those poets who sit on the road to play the accordion and this must be your own epic muse. Answer to your Romeo, if you please, while I do my damn shower. "

"Your cynicism offends Love and I will be happy to take you around in life when Jo will turn you into a being who recites sonnets alone!"

"If love makes fools as well, do not want it!" He shouted Castiel out of the shower.

"You are a blasphemer!" Jared said.

"And you a sonnet!" He shouted back Castiel.  
   
Jensen came in and immediately took them around.

"I feel the damn road. Should I be jealous? "

"You must. Your epic twin boyfriend harassing me! "She teased always Castiel out of the shower.

"He started it." He justified Jared.

"Mmm..sembra as if I'll have to teach him a lesson, to teach him how to behave." Jensen said, amused, palpandogli your butt.

"Ahhh." Jared groaned. "Not enough for you tonight?"

"I do not get enough." Said Jensen, mischievous.

"Fedifrago!" Retorted Jared, always joking.

Jensen grabbed him and put it in his arms, kissing him.

"Enough." Jared said, amused, moving.

Jensen looked at him doing the mock offended. "It is just only when I say so."

"Bossy! Mmm .. "Jared said, moaning into the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excuse me for the monstrous late, I hope thatthe fluff Chapter I do forgive xd
> 
> I want to say first that it is not my intention to paint Jensen or Sam as nymphomaniacs hungry for sex hahahh this I specify it, because I realized that never before in this ff I do them a lot xd sex, but let me explain, is the only way I know, as well as in words, to figure out exactly how much you belong and as for Sam, I thought about the sex thing and so in the end I decided to empathy because I felt sorry for him if I had decided not to let him do ahhahh
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the bromance between Jared and Cas <3
> 
> And the fairy tale <3


	68. Dagherov

Castiel was trying to do his best. He did not want to cry and scream like a girl, but the pain was putting him to the test. It was folded in two on the floor. It seemed as if the threatening head split in two. It was funny that one thing that would have to take away something very bad for you, it does not cause feeling of well-being, but rather acute pain, excruciating pain. The brain is always refused to let go of something, no matter how much it hurt. The brain was a selfish bitch.

"Castiel!" Said a clear and worried voice.

"No! Jo, no. You should not be here! "

"What are you saying? What is happening to you? "

"Please, go away!"

"No, Castiel."

"Please. Do not watch this! "

Jo stroked his face. "You are suffering?"

"P-please, Jo, go on."

"I want to give you relief."

"You can not."

"Do not think about the pain. Do not focus on the pain. "

"Not posso..è too strong ... I ..."

Then Jo kissed him. A kiss was sudden, unexpected, decided. Their first kiss.

Castiel was so much surprised, that no longer felt the sensation of pain, but after a moment of surprise, reciprocated the kiss.  
   
   
   
   
   
*

Jared and Jensen were waiting in the hospital corridor, waiting for Castiel to come out of isolation room.

At some point something happened. Jensen intercepted Jared the look that startled looked something. She watched the two men talking.

It was the inspector John with Dr. Dagherov! The man in charge of the imprisonment of Jensen and many others. The man who had imposed on the basis of Jensen drain him or turn it into a vampire!

Jared roared within him.

"Jared, stay calm, do not ..."

But Jared had already left.

"RAAAAAAAGH!"

"JARED!" Cried John and Jensen.

  
Jared dropped his fist to the man, then landed and gave him another.

"JARED stands still or I'll slam you IN PRISON, YOU HAVE MY WORD!" Rebuked the inspector.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING HERE?" Jared shouted, beside himself. even now Jensen was holding.

"Jared listen to me!" Said John. "I have orders from above. When I knew, I could not do anything! "

"What the hell of orders are you ... he has hurt us! He has hurt Jensen! "

"Lower your voice! Unfortunately Dr. Dagherov is not only a criminal, but also the creator of the largest miracle that man could ever yearn for. The ricongiumento of soulmates. The press, the government, all powerful, they ordered that a person who is finally riuiscita doing what in millennia no one has ever managed to do, can not be in prison, in order to continue to do what he did. "

"That is, to turn innocent people into killers machines? Change their DNA and vampirize them? Enslave the poor souls in the glass jars for years? Take innocent people and implanting them one thing in the brain? "

"Dr. Dagherov can not remain in the cell, Jared. Not when, thanks to his studies and his experiments, people have found happiness. There are still millions of people who knew what happened, they also want to meet with them their soul mates and are willing to rely on ... "

"John, do not let them, please. It is a monster. You do not know what ... "

"I may be a monster, but it's thanks to me that now you gloat love with that loser of Jensen!" The doctor said with a laugh.

"Say that again!" Yelled Jared.

"Jensen, please, take it away." Said John.

"Okay, but you know that I agree with him." said Jensen to John throwing a dirty look.  
   
   
They went to sit next to the coffee machine and Jensen broke my heart to see Jared cry.

"Hey, baby. It's all over now and then think about it. It is not so bad perhaps. Can take advantage of that bastard to make other people happy as we are. "He said.

"Jensen, you ... you do not understand. I remember ... I remembered ... "

"Remembered what?"

"What made you! Did he ... locked in the cellar with the rats ... and you were so scared ... so scared ... "

"Jared, I've never told this story." Said Jensen scared.

"Your cries have torn me. I felt dying and I threw it all up. People shouted as my eyes became blacks ... I wanted them to die as I felt dying i ... "

"Jared, stop. You're scaring me!"

"You, too, that day you told me to stop," said Jared upset.

Jensen recalled.  
 

 

 

_"You went out. I open the door for you. "Said Sam cold._

_"Sam, please stop!" She begged._

_"They will not ever hurt or kill you!" He said._

_"All right, all right, they will do not make me hurt, but now embrace me. Only, hug me! "_

 

 

  
  
 

"This is a memory of Sam ..." said Jensen.

"I live as as if it were mine ... and it's mine! And when I saw that man ... I have relived that moment ... oh, Jensen, I suddenly descended on me. I was not prepared for such a scene. I did not have idea that you had suffered so and simply i can not ... "

"Jared, that's enough. Hug me."

"I can not calm down, because you were in the cellar, with mice. And you were so scared and I .. "

"Jared, I'm here now. "

"I can not…."

 

Jensen kissed him softly, then began rubbing his face to calm him down.

He relaxed when he saw that Jared reciprocate plan, relaxing little by little, even though it was still suffering laments.

"It's all over, my love. all finished, all finished. "Jensen said, hugging him stronger and stroking his hair.

He felt a powerful love shock at that time. Jared had done so much for him. He had protected. He was glad to be able to finally do something for him. So they were standing, hugged and Jensen could feel Jared relax in his arms.


	69. Talking about Jo

Jared and Jensen hugged Castiel soon after went out of the isolation room. He opposed to Jensen had not had need stretcher, because he had not contracted the virus of vampirism.

"Are you okay?" Jensen asked him, touching his head.

"We'll know after the results, but I think so." Castiel said, smiling.

"Dude, we wanted to go with you, but the doctor ..." Jared said.

"It does not matter. Do not worry ... there was ... there was Jo with me ... "Castiel said.

"Jo ?? It's great, man. What did he tell you? Cas? Why do not you look? Cas, something happened to her? "

"We kissed". Castiel said.

"Wow !! Is gorgeous. You're great, man. "Jensen said, patting him on the shoulder.

"There's more, true Cas?" Asked Jared, who had noticed the discomfort of his friend.

"After ... after they have been better and before I come and take, has managed to ... tell me something."

"What ??" asked Jared and Jensen in fibrillation.

"She has confirmed his name Padalecki."

"S-surely have a last name like .." Jared said.

"She told me that she was adopted and that his parents - his real parents - are called Jeffrey Padalecki and Samantha."

Jared was going to have an illness and Jensen had to support him.

"I ... I have a sister? So ... my father must have betrayed my mother, before you have me ... "

Castiel gave him a piercing look. "Jo told me to have 24 years, Jared. Two less you. "

Now that both Jared and Jensen were bewildered at the most.

"My parents are dead and have not had any more children after me. She is a liar. "

"Jared ...."

"I want to speak to her. Please, Cas. You have to find out who he is and where he is. "

"Ok. Be quiet, Jar. We will go to the bottom of this mystery. "


	70. Ellen e Jo Harvelle

Castiel had managed to find the address of Jo, who lived with his stepparents, in Nebraska. Castiel, along with Jared and Jensen had made a long journey to reach this far.

They looked at the house and the litthe card that was posted on the wall, on which was written the name of the family. Harvelle.

It was Jo open the door. He had a comfortable curls that hung over his shoulders, the soft brown eyes as well as your face. He wore a blue blouse and a long plaid skirt.

"Who are you? Just to be clear, we do not buy encyclopedias. "

Jared smiled. Her sister apparently had a nice temper soon.

  
"You're Jo Harvelle? We would like to talk to her ... with you ... if you're her ... that is .... "

Jo stared at him. "Who wants to know?" Jared noted that he tried not to look at Castiel. It was already in love?

"We knew his parents ... we would like to talk to them. There are some things you should know .... We know that was adopted. "Said Jensen.

Jo seemed about to have a panic attack, but he opened the door a little 'more. "Please, come in."  
   
   
Jo prepared tea for them, but when Jared began to speak, no longer had a strong desire to drink it.

"You're my brother?" He asked shocked and had an expression so confused, bewildered and hurt, that Jared had the urge to run to hug her, but did not.

"If you are who you say you are, yes." Said Jared.

"You know who we are, Jo? You've heard of us at tg? "he asked Jensen.

Jo stared at him. A flash of insight came to his face. "You are the super-soldier with esp powers created to kill ... were part of the organization that the bottled ... soulmates."

Jared tried to take the floor.

"Listen, Jo, do not be afraid of us ..."

"I'm not afraid."

"If you know something about all this, we do not know ... you have to tell us, because ... we're going crazy, I'm going crazy. This man, Jensen, is my soul mate. We went through hell to get together. We finally got rid of this big nightmare and we came out miraculously unharmed all and just when I thought I had finally regained the serenity and found happiness, I find I have ... maybe a sister. It is not about a terrible news for me, in fact, I always wanted to have brothers, but my ... our parents might have died when I was six months and I was so sure that they had not had any more children after me .. i have . to know . . "

Jo listened very carefully to his words.

"First of all, Jared, I want you to know I'm not a liar. My name is Padalecki, yes. It is not a case of coincidence. I think that my parents are the same as when you're talking to me. Unfortunately I have no memories of my parents, because I was in foster care when I was only two years. my parents left me to this family along with a letter, which I read when I woke up from the coma. "

"Coma? Which coma ?? "Castiel asked.

Behind them a woman cleared her throat.

"I think I can provide a better explanation. My poor child does not know much about this story. I introduce myself, I'm his mother. Ellen Harvelle.


	71. Hosts by Ellen e Jo

"My child Jo was entrusted to me on a rainy night. I saw these people, hooded and frightened, entrusting me with a tender three-year-old delicat tot and putting it in my arms, giving me a letter. Because? It was the question I asked hers parents. Why should parents give away their little one? A little over three years old who still needed them so much? Her mother looked at me with sorrow and said they were forced. To give her a better life. They followed by dangerous people! They feared something bad could happen to their little girl. He would have been safe with us. "Ellen told him.

"Are my parents still alive?" Asked Jared upset, raising the tone of his voice a bit.

"Jared, please sit down! Forgive him, ma'am. It's a bit shaken. This thing annoys him a lot. It is very shaken we too! "Castiel intervened.

"Castiel is right, but please, I absolutely have to read the letter!" Said Jared.

"In a moment, young man. First I have to tell you something very important. My little Jo lived this last year, in a coma. "

They were all barred in front this last statement.

"Suddenly I find her on the floor, limping on the floor. I seemed dead. I still remember this reminder. Doctors did not know what to do. He seemed to have nothing. It looked like a ... an spell! "Ellen said.

"So that's just the last year you've been in coma," Jensen said.

"We only lacked that my little girl had been there anymore! I would not bear it! "Ellen said altered.

"Okay okay. Exactly when he woke up, Jo? "

"Just over a month ago," Ellen replied.

Jensen, Jared and Castiel looked at each other.

It was Jo to take the word.

"Now I would like you to explain how you did to find me. You have been very mysterious about it. "

Castiel sighed. "It is my merit. It was me to find you or at least, more exactly, you found me. "

"What are you saying? I do not know you!"

"Did you ... have any of the moments of defaillance in the last period? Moments of emptiness, in which you do not remember what you did or where have you been since you got awakened from the coma? "Castiel asked.

"How ... how do you know?" Jo asked with at mouth open.

"No, I ... I'm trying to tell you that I know you, but not in this ... form ... but under the essence ... in short, are you familiar with the whole story of twin souls?" Castiel asked uneasily.

"Are you saying that you would be my soul mate?" Jo asked, rushing from the chair and lying at mouth open.

"You are. We've met you before, Jo, even if you can not remember it ... you got me ... in conclusion. **.kissed** ... "Castiel escaped.

 

Jo did sound incredulous, putting his hand on his mouth, Ellen lost the reason, getting up.

"How dare you make these insinuations on my little girl! Go! "

"Wait, we stay calm, listen to me. Congratulations, Castiel! "Jensen said, glancing at him, as Jared tried to divide them.

"Mom, do not do this, forward, nothing happened!" Jo said.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

A few minutes later ....

"Now that we are all quieter, I would really like to read that letter." Jared insisted.

"Yes, yes, I'm going to take it right away," Ellen said, still a little bit tired.

Jensen, Jared, Castiel and Jo were left alone. Not looked at Castiel in discomfort.

"I really hope ... that he has not been bothered with you. If so please excuse me! "

Castiel locked his eyes. "Molesta? Not at all. I loved the kiss. "

Jo did blush.

"You helped me calm down!"

Jo looked at him interrogative.

"Oh, please do not think wrong! I meant that I was prey to grief on my stomach and that your kiss prevented me from concentrating on the pain! "

Jo did look stunned, but smiled reassured. "Sorry if I do not say much ... but it's the first time I do not remember a kiss ... and that ... so it sounds really ugly, especially by a soul soul but I did not mean ..."

"No, we're at place, really," Jared said suddenly.

Jensen, Jo and Castiel turned to look at him.

"Excuse me if I do not want to be listening to the first kiss between my lost sister and a friend of mine. It's just too much, either I handle this or run the letter that's coming up, "said Jared terrified.

Not even thirty seconds passed that Jared got to his feet.

"I've been thinking, I'm leaving!"

"Hey, hey, no, stop, Jared. You can not leave now, "Jensen said.

"Yes I can!"

"No. You will stay here and read the letter. Quiet, we're with you. "Jensen said, hugging him tight from behind.

Jared sighed, closing his eyes. "Alright then!"

 

 

 

 

 

*

_My little girl, light of my eyes, my love, you can not imagine how much It costs us it separates us from you. I can not stop you hate us during your childhood, because we are not with you and you do not know why, but I ask you not to hate me any more when you will read this letter and you will understand that we have been forced! We would have always wanted to be with you and your little brother, your older brother. We'd be a pretty family, you know? You would have been two very beloved children, but unfortunately the curse pursued our family, perhaps because when you choose an outlaw life, always comes the right punishment to castigate. Yes, we are outlawed, but believe me, little girl, we are not evil and that is because we are not evil because we did not agree to do so many horrible things that we are now in danger. They burned our house and took us, letting everybody believe we were dead and for a long time we were in their hands. Your brother, who at that time was only six months old, has been saved from this hell because I made him roll out of the window to the first floor, to save his life._

_I miss you so much, We've always missed it, do you know that? Then you came here. I was pregnant when we were still prey to this criminal organization I can not talk about. When we knew I was pregnant with you, we were happy. They wanted to use you, baby girl. For laboratory experiments. They're monsters! We could not afford it. We ran away, risking life, because I could not afford to take you._

_We managed to live clandestinely for three years, but we know that sooner or later they will take us and we can no longer be selfish._

_No, my little girl, I'm sorry to separate my heart from you. We have already lost a son and now we lose another. I really hope you can reunite with your brother and that one day you will forgive me._

_We love you so much, your parents._   


 

He had not cried for as long as Jared read the letter. He looked up and saw that Jared was in tears too.

"You're really my sister. "Jared said.

"Yes I am."

"Until a long time ago, I thought I no longer had a family and now I find out that I have a sister and maybe my parents are still alive. This is ... a dream! "Said Jared, wiping his eyes, approaching at Jo.

Jo looked at his brother, sitting in his chair, raising his head shyly.

Jared took the initiative. Sweetly embraced her.  
Jo did return gently.  
 

 

 

 

 

 

*

Ellen had offered to accommodate Jensen, Jared and Castiel for a few days at his home.

It was late in the evening and Jensen and Jared were alone in the private lounge. Embraced. In front of the fireplace.

"So, how do you look like my sister? Does not it have my own delicate features? "Jared asked, patting a little.

"Do you mean to be a girl," Jensen said.

"I'm too happy for irritate you in front of your grips. I'm happy. I found my lost sister and found that there is a chance that my parents will be alive. I cried reading their letter. I'm happy!"

"And I'm too happy to see you happy! I always want to see you happy. I want to make sure you're always happy, "Jensen said, looking at him adorable.

Jared gave him a kiss.

"You deserve it all this happiness." Jensen said to him.

"Are you saying that you deserve you?" He asked smiling Jared.

Jensen stroked her hair and cheeks.

"I can not wait to tell my sister, our epic love story. Women go crazy for epic love stories, do you know? "Jared told him, kissing him again.

"Mmm ... you're not going to tell her tonight."

"Maybe I would, if a certain person did not explicitly tell Ellen that I would not sleep in the room with Jo, but here, in the living room!" Laughed Jared.

"Hey, we're married. We have to sleep together, "Jensen said.

  
Jared felt another shiver at the call of marriage. Shiver of joy, but this time he pretended nothing.

  
"Jensen Ross Ackles, will not you tell me you're jealous of my sister?"

"You do not know, Jared Tristan Padalecki know that most of the meetings between siblings separated at birth are overwhelmed by obsessive amplified emotions?"

Jared looked at him strangely. Jensen continued relentlessly:

"Obsessive and even romantic-sexual emotions," Jensen said, shrugging at Jared.

Jared opened his mouth, incredulous. "No! No I do not believe it. You're not really suggesting .... "

"Hey, I'm not suggesting anything, but I can!" Jensen continued jokingly.

"My god, Jensen, lowers the voice, if she feels you, you're in trouble and I will not do anything. In fact, i will help getting you fisted, "said Jared, though he was amused.

"Looks like it's a science thing, it's genetic psychology. Everything documented ... "Jensen continued in his sadistic torture.

Jared put his hand on his mouth, clinging to the other arm at his neck, struggling not to laugh.

"Now, probably, if I was not irretrievably, definitively and madly lost in love with you, I would have turned my heels away and I would not talk to you any more !" Jared said, approaching his mouth.

"Going to sleep in Jo's room?"

Jared gave him a slap on his face.

"Hey."

Jared laughed on his lips before swallowing that lament in a passionate kiss.

"Jared ... I ... I'm not Jealous of Jo. I'm jealous of any living being that could take you away from me. I love you too much, "Jensen said when they got off.

"Jensen, you do not have to be scared. I am your. Only yours. I could never love anyone like you and more. "

"I could not love anyone more than you, Jared," Jensen confessed before kissing him again.  
 


	72. Still secret!

Jo was sleeping in his bedroom when he suddenly heard a footsteps of someone walking in his room.

She was very frightened and lit the light. "Jared ?? What are you doing here? "He asked, pulling the sheets on his chest. Jared looked different ... dark... and angry

"Why did you lie to me?" Jared asked.

"I?? Lie to you? I did not do it, Jared ... what are you saying? "

"You're not my sister," Jared said, shaking her. "Why did you lie to me? Whyyyyy?"

"AHHHHH, LET ME GO!" Cried Jo.

"Tell me the truth. Tell mel! "Continued Jared. Jo continued to divide, and in the end he managed to push it down, dropping it.

"What the hell is going on?" Ellen asked, immediately followed by both Castiel and Jensen.

"Jared! She went crazy. She has attacked me! "Said Jo, moving away from him.

"Jared ??? But he was in bed with me ... like ... Sam! "Jensen suddenly realized.

Sam was still on the floor and did not look up.

  
"Sam. look at me. Why did you attack Jo? "Jensen asked.

Sam did not turn, but Jensen turned him to power.

"Sam, look at me. Please, "Jensen prayed.

"No, it's not my sister, but my stepsister." Sam's response shocked everyone.

"W-what ... but it's not possible," Jensen said.

"John was with my mother, that means he could be him ... my father. He lied to me, Jensen. Why do everybody always lie to me? "Sam asked in tears.

Jensen tried to answer, but Sam got away and ran away from the room.

All of them dropped silent silence.  
   
   
   
   
*

The next day, Jared woke up with good humor and could not figure out how everyone had that funeral face. It was strange, Jensen also looked different. He did not refuse his pampering, but what was strange was that his cuddies and kisses had always had the power to make him cheerful, but this time no.

"Okay, now it's enough. Someone tell me what you have all this morning and why keep looking at me this way, all you! "Jared shouted as he was having breakfast.

Everyone looked nervous, then Jared went to Jo, who started.

"Jo, tell me something, you are my sister."

Jo frowned and moved away from him, scared.

"Hey, what have you got?" Jared asked, strangely with that strange reaction.

Suddenly, Jared had a lookout.

"The head hoop that I heard this morning just awake ... your strange behavior ... did I do something I did not have to do tonight? Did I come out of my body? "

Still silent and Jared became tired.

"Curse, answer !!!"

"Jared, stay calm," Jensen said.

"You are scared me" he replied.

"Okay okay. In fact, something happened tonight ... you went to Jo and you told her about things. "

"Wha ... oh my God. No. Do not tell me ... I did hurt her! "Jared said, looking at Jo with an imploring look.

"No, you did not hurt her, but we say you have a little scared her. Keep saying to her that she was not your sister and she was a liar. "

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, it is possible that i did such a thing. Why?"

"Because you're right. I'm not your sister, I'm your stepsister, "Jo said.

Jared looked upset.

"The letter we gave you was not the only one that our mother gave us. There is another one in which he argues that ... your real father is another. "Jo said.

"It can not be true ... why ... why did not you tell me right away?" Jared asked.

"We did not intend to hide it. I talked to Jo yesterday, and we agreed that we would talk to you calmly. It was too delicate to deal with it at once, "Ellen said.

"No ... you would never have told me ..."

"Jared, that's not so, trust me," Jo said.

"I want to know who the father is. Now."

Ellen and Jo sighed.

"Tell me!" Jared shouted.

"Jared, now calm down!" Said Jensen and Castiel in chorus.

"John Winchester!" Ellen said.

  
It was as if Jared's world collapsed at that moment. So he was his father. He was convinced that his father had died for 22 years and he was 22 years old who was next to him, alive, pretending to be dead, pretending not to be him ... and all that pantomime about having never had children and that He wished he was his son ... it was all fake.

"Jared, where are you going? Wait for the letter to read. "She tried to call him Jo.

"No. NO. I just want to be alone. Only, "said Jared, slipping his jacket.

"Jared, no. Please, stay! "Jensen said, taking him by the arm. "I also found out to have a father recently, remember? I know what you feel. "

But Jared did not get persuaded by Jensen's words.

"You did not have your father next to you for 22 years, who pretended not to be your father." Jared said bitterly. Jensen then let him go.  
 

 

 

 

 

*

Jared had taken refuge in a drink bar. Drink, drink and drink. Drinking to forget that he discovered the truth, drinking to forget that he had discovered it because his soul liked to go around. 

Drink to forget the poor figure as hysterical kid he had made in front of Jensen, Castiel. Before all.

Drink to try to forget that John could be his father.

He wanted to forget. Forget.

Pretend he never knew.

After several glasses, where he was floating in the oblivion of alcohol, he felt pulled up by a friendly hand.

  
"Jared." Jensen called back.

"Jensen? What are you doing here, on the frozen lake? "Jared asked.

"God ... you're drunk. You know I do not like icy lakes. "He tried to slit Jensen.

"So why are you here to stop me drowning in?"

"Because I love you." Jensen said solemnly.

Jared looked at him with the sadest expression in the world.

"I disappointed you."

"No ... Jared. What are you saying, my love? You could not ever disappoint me! "Jensen said to him, touching his face with his hands.

"You did not react like me when you found out about Bobby."

"No. I just flooded the kitchen floor. "Jensen jerked.

"You did it for thirst for blood. You were wrong. "Jared reminded him. "No ... you did not take refuge in a bar like an old drunkard."

"Jared, there are different circumstances. You've also said that you know John for 22 years, I only know my father a few months ago. And do you really want to talk about differences? Okay, we're different and we react differently ... so then? Being twin souls does not mean we are the same. Now leave this glass and you come to me."

Jared looked at him with a gloomy look, but full of love, letting himself slip and protect himself in the warm and comfortable embrace of his beloved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another plot twist! But I'm sure someone was suspected he was really John's son! xd
> 
> I want to add that it was for a long time that I had decided that Jared was his son, but unfortunately I managed to get out of speech only now xd now you know what the visit to Jo really is, but it will not be reduced to that. Jo will become more important in the plot :))
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	73. Jo and Sam make peace

Jared did not want to go home to Ellen and Jo. He was too ashamed and did not want to be seen in that state. He would not bear the mixed eyes of concern and fear of Ellen and Jo, so Jensen thought of a solution. They would stay for that night in a motel. Anything provided her sweet Jared was quiet.

Castiel did not go with them. To tell the truth, he had asked Jensen if it was his case, but Jensen told him to stay with Ellen and Jo to calm them down. They would have reached them the next day.

They slept asleep while Jensen caressed his hair.

He did not even notice Sam coming out of his body to return to Jo.  
   
   
*

"Jo ..." he called her low voice Sam.

She did yelled choking to feel touch in the dark and when she saw Sam, she was even more frightened.

"No, do not yell. I do not want to hurt you. I just want to talk to you. "Sam asked.

"What do you want me to tell me?" Jo asked intimidated.

Sam shook his head. "That's not how I want to talk to you. You're too scared. I need to talk to your soul. "

"No. What do you want to do? Please, go away, "said Jo, increasingly frightened.

"Schhh. I do not want to hurt you. Trust me, "Sam said, putting his palms on his cheeks.

She did close her eyes and suddenly felt lighter.

"Let me talk to your heart." Sam told her.

  
Slowly, slowly, Sam could literally see Jo's soul come out of his body. He could hear  
his tears coming to her eyes to see that scene. He wondered if he did so when he came out of his body.

Jo's soul watched him. Less scared than before, but no less in awe.

"Do you know who I am?" Gently asked Sam.

"You are my brother." She replied.

"How do you know?"

"It's not long since I live a double life, so it's easier for me to remember." He simply answered Jo. "I've seen you in the company of Castiel. Somewhere in my memory, something tells me you're my brother. It's true?"

"Yup. I ... I'm here to apologize. I should not have told you last night that you were a liar. I exaggerated. I'm so sorry. I do not want us two hate "

Jo smiled at him and simply embraced him.

"You are stupid. My self spent the whole day crying and even the whole night after you left. "

"Oh, I'm so sorry."

"Schhh. Do not be sorry. She loves you. "

"And you?"

"Even more." Jo smiled. Jo's soul was possibly even sweeter than the Jo flesh and bone version.

"And how ... how do you know you cried? Remember? "

"No, but I can feel my eyes round and marked, so I guess I've been crying a lot."

Sam felt the guilty feelings burn more painfully.

"Hey, I do not wanna make you feel guilty. If you say I was a liar, you see I deserved it. I should have told you immediately that I was your step - sister and not temporize! Anyway, how could I deal with you? You brought me home Castiel. Is it true that it is my soul mate? Thank you. He would never have told me, "Jo said.

Apparently, the bark Jo was much wiser and awake than he could imagine. Sam smiled at him.

"He is afraid to tie you to him. He does not want you to fall in love with him just because he's your soul mate. "

"I could fall in love even if it was my other soul! I mean ... did you see his eyes? And the smile ... and the way he speaks and melts the tongue ... "Jo said, sighing adorable.

"I would not know, no. I'm totally lost to Jensen and I do not even look at the other guys. "Rise Jared.

"Thank you for bringing at me, brother!"

"Oh, my sister, this is the nicest gift I could have! My best friend with my sister. I hope to be very happy together! "Sam replied, taking his hands and then embracing her.  
   
 

   
   
*

 

The next morning, Jensen's phone rang, still hugging at Jared, cudding him, and Jared half sleeper, but at the same time, delighted with pampering, he accepted his caresses.

"MPF. Cas, I hope it's important. "He jerked on the phone, stopping Jared under the shirt.

"Hard moment?" Castiel asked.

"No. Not yet, at least. "Jensen snorted, while Jared kissed his neck and cheek with amused expression.

"I'm sorry to break your cuddly, pussy. "Castiel said in an amused way that made him realize that he did not mind him at all. "But I wanted to inform you that Sam visited me last night. He kept telling me he talked to Jo or better with Jo's soul and made peace, now they go to love and agree, so you can come back here. "

"What?" Murmured Jensen, basically.  
   
 

  
   
*

 

When they returned home to Ellen and Jo, Jo rushed to embrace Jared, who was a bit surprised but then he was happy.

 

 

They did not immediately address that matter. Not now. Jared wanted to wait for the letter to read and then it was also a bit of Jensen's fault, which, he seemed to love to keep him in bed lately!  
 

"And so, you went to greet Jo, greet Cas and me nothing, huh. Now pay penance, ugly bitch! "Jensen provoked him provocatively, biting his nose playfully.

"Mercy! I can not pay for something I do not remember and then you were already in my arms, so ... "Jared said, trying to escape that sweet torture.

"No excuses. You're a very bad kid. Get off my bed to go find Jo. I'm very, very angry with you. "Jensen said, leaving a trail of kisses on his naked chest.

"It does not look like that." Jared snapped, then took his face, suddenly assuming a serious face. "Jensen, listen ... I know I'm a bit ... unmanageable, when I'm not ... completely myself. When I'm just Sam, I mean. I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry ... I'm sorry to have to argue when I'm so. "

Jensen took his chin and looked at him. "Do not apologize, especially for something like this. I love you and I love the purest part of you. I'm deeply in love with you Jared, but also you Sam. I never wish you was different. "

Jared smiled. "Do you think Sam knows? That is, I mean, I know when Sam i? "

"Mm?"

"I mean, I'm lucky to hear you say this. I would also like my soul to know it, too. "Jared said, caressing his chest with his fingers.

"He knows. I told you millions and millions of times, but if you want to repeat it. I love you, Sam. "Jensen whispered to her ear.

Jared had a tremble that he could not control and embraced him gently, so gently, that Jensen remembered him as much as he used to embrace Sam.

He had no doubts. Sam had heard.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it seems I have a predilection to lock Jared into bed by Jensen ahhah I admit it !!
> 
> And also for bromance. I know, Dean and Sam got me corrupt


End file.
